OP as an ex-heroin addict and journeyman of many psychedelic trips i can certainly relate. when it happened to me, it was from an LSD trip though. lets start from the beginning. you were looking for something, thats why you smoked the DMT. you were looking for something different that normal life cant give, but you got a whole lot more than you bargained for, as these substances have a tendency to do from time to time.
your mind is plastic, as in, it can change, by experiences, by substances, etc. its changed. i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you wont be able to get back to the "old you". that went out the door when you started using psychedelics. and if you are using heroin, especially regularly, you sure as shit arent going to get back to how you were before. opiates can be a temporary escape. a safe haven from the existential anxieties you have from the DMT trip, but you must know the dope wont fix anything. DMT nor heroin are inherently bad, they are just substances. tools that we as humans use. it is up to you, to decide on how or if to use them at all.
think of it like this: you take heroin to get high. as time goes on your tolerance goes up, and what once got you nice and high just makes you feel normal. this normal, is different from the normal you felt years ago before you were on heroin, but its still normal. now DMT has shot you out of a cannon, lightyears away from anything looking like normal. just how you feeling normal with heroin use took time, so will this. getting a hair cut, a 9-5 job, and quitting all other drugs might seem like the fastest path to feeling normal again, but its really not. the real goal is to integrate your trip. this will take a lot of time and patience. the first step is accepting what happened, accepting the things you saw and the feelings you felt, not blocking them out or trying to escape them. who knows how "true" those feelings were, but the important part is you experienced them. coming to terms with this is the biggest hurdle in getting back to feeling normal.
now, once again i dont want to be the bearer of bad news but using heroin and other opiates is counter-productive if you want to get integrate this experience and feel normal. it will take much longer if you are using dope. i dont know how much or for how long you have used but the first real step here is to realize that nothing is gained by touching that stuff. are you addicted? if not, stop taking it now. not all the poppies in asia can make you feel normal again if you cant confront your DMT experience. drug addiction, especially with opiates is like psychic procrastination--it allows you to put off all of the things that you should be worrying about. this is why nothing good can come from it. the task of integrating a shocking experience like this would be hard enough for a sober person, let alone a habitual heroin user.
if you are able to come to these conclusions, you are on the fast-track to getting back to normal. trust me, i went through the same thing. i realized i couldn't hide from the existential angst. i went to a doctor and got on suboxone, and it saved my life. i am sure if i kept on banging dope i would have died. i am still on suboxone and where i once took opiates to get me high and to escape the things in my life i didnt want to deal with, now i take just enough suboxone every day to feel normal.
integrating your DMT experience and your heroin use are at odds with each other, you should recognize that. look into meditation. listen to more music. when you are stressed out, close your eyes and start taking deep breaths. im with you on this dude, just keep on keepin on and you will make it, trust me. feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. i highly recommend suboxone if you are addicted and are ready for a way out. i wish you all the luck in the world OP.
I figured I'd add this too... in relation to anxiety being like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't know if you've ever gotten into lucid dreaming, but there's a practice people employ to get better at it called auto-suggestion. Basically, you tell yourself "I will remember my dreams tonight.", "I will become lucid tonight.", "I will remember to complete [whatever random goal] in my dreams tonight.", and etc. Some find that it works even better when stated in first person. The idea behind this is that dreams are built from schemas, all of these little tidbits of information that your mind picks up about the workings of reality throughout your daily life. You can't walk through walls, fire is hot, your boss always pesters you about the Johnson report.... These things are all added as schemas, and thus they work their way into the way your dreams simulate reality. But it's more than just the things you see in front of you in reality.... For example, if you go and watch Harry Potter, your brain will absorb the information "People can cast magic using wands." Next thing you know, you're in a wizard duel against a dream thief who's trying to steal all of the overdue books you were on your way to return to the hardware store / drive-in theater. To your brain, this is simply logically recreating your daily life using the information you've learned about the laws of reality.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
