Taryth
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2009
- Messages
- 297
<snip>. . .and i will feel sorry for the cow while im eating it, but its so delicious i cant stop.
Omg, lol.
<snip>. . .and i will feel sorry for the cow while im eating it, but its so delicious i cant stop.
I don't do weed often, maybe three/four times a month. I drank two days ago, and then yesterday i smoked with a couple of friends. My friends were fine, they were just chilling and everything was alright. i was laughing, and i felt really good and it was so much fun until we sat down in starbucks and i started getting a feeling that as if something is going inside my body. My eyes got really heavy, i couldnt hear anything, i couldnt speak loud (apperantly i was mumbling ) i was really heavy, and i couldnt walk. I heard my heart beating really fast, and it was as if i was in another world. I couldnt get out of it though, i wanted it to stop but it kept going. It was pinching me inside all of the sudden i started to get "fatter" and my singers got really big and my sing was stuck. It was soo horible, but im not close to done yet. I started hallucinating all the way back to when i was a little baby. I was sitting in my little crib, i saw my dad and my mom when they were young. (ive never seen my dad before, he left when i was little ) but i saw him in my hallucination, and he looked exactly the way i saw him in a picture with me. I saw him screaming, and beating my mom. I couldnt do anything about it though, because i was so little and i was in my crib. I wanted to do something, and it hurt so bad inside that i couldnt help her but i had to relive that moment and it was so horrible. I saw the police that my dad away, and i stood there not knowing what to do. I saw my mom holding me as a baby, and spinning me around , and i saw my grandma . two days ago i was in a fight with my grandma we havent talked in a month but yesterday right after i came back to myself i came up to her crying and apologizing. i told her the story, and i told her how much she means to me and that shes not a bad person. shes always been trying to help me out, but i was too selfish to realize it. I realized that the way ive been treating my family was completely wrong. I never want to relive that day, but i learned a lesson. I feel like this is a good lesson for me from God himself. His giving me another chance. I've always been meaning to apologize to my grandma, and when that happened i came up to her kissing her and asking her to please forgive me. I will never smoke ever again. It is pointles, and i would never want to go back into that world ever again. Hallucination is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and i really hope it doesnt happen to me. I feel like if i didnt ask God for help, and if i didnt pray i would have died that day. I asked God for help, and i prayed and he saved me. This is another chance for me, and i will live to redeam all the bad that i have done. From this point on, i will be a better person. I live to serve God, and i believe that we are all equal, and in the end we will all be in a better place and we'll all be the same. You need to believe in God.
i also get an eery feeling of familiarity with the cannabis quasi-breakthrough environment, and sometimes trippy visions overlaying the patterns..The furthermost I've ever got is, a couple times when I got really stoned (when I first started) I could close my eyes and I would see weird patterns that looked like they were drawn with crayons or something. I'm still stumped to this day as to what the patterns were as I'm almost certain that I've seen them somewhere before... I'm just not sure where.