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Do you ever get away from it all?

Do you ever disconnect?

  • Yes

    Votes: 18 100.0%

  • Never have the time

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Wouldn't even wanna

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    18
thujone said:
I often feel a need to just get away from people and be alone, lately it feels like I never have any time alone and it has become very stressful. It's frustrating that people seem to disregard this as a psychological (spiritual?) need and act like I'm just being silly and need to snap out of it. I mean you don't yank a fish out of water and scream at it to breathe while it's flopping around gasping on dry land, right? People don't assume the fish could breathe on land if only it really put its mind to it.
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Do you mean this in the sense of mental decompression, or something a bit deeper? In terms of essential decompression, absolutely, all the time. Going deeper, I'd love to have nothing to do with humanity at all, and am probably already further down that route than most ever get to be. I can actually thrive fairly well without human contact. But I can't completely cut myself off entirely due to obligations. I also don't think it's entirely mentally healthy, even though part of me thinks it is - at least, not while there's still a society around that I have to mask myself in and pretend to want to interact with from time to time.
 
HumanityIsTheDevil said:
Been sober for little over a month, and i notice i crave human contact less and less. I'm not completely isolated, but there are days where i have zero interaction with other people. I live in an urban environment, so of course i see people all the time. I just ignore them for the most part.

I've been extremely introverted since childhood, and drinking was what got me out of my shell. I feel like i'm slowly becoming the real me again. I also feel like minimizing human contact works better for my sobriety than going to meetings, since avoiding social anxiety and social fatique was a big part of the reason i became an alcoholic in the first place.

Complete isolation seems a bit too hardcore, but right now i'm happy to be spending most of my time alone, just gathering my thoughts.
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I relate a lot.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
Acceptance of the moment is all that is needed.
You think too much in Duality.
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I don't understand what is meant by duality here. I do accept the moment, because the alternative is mental breakdown. There is not much choice. That is the problem.

CFC said:
Do you mean this in the sense of mental decompression, or something a bit deeper? In terms of essential decompression, absolutely, all the time. Going deeper, I'd love to have nothing to do with humanity at all, and am probably already further down that route than most ever get to be. I can actually thrive fairly well without human contact. But I can't completely cut myself off entirely due to obligations. I also don't think it's entirely mentally healthy, even though part of me thinks it is - at least, not while there's still a society around that I have to mask myself in and pretend to want to interact with from time to time.
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Yeah I mean getting away from society, or at least the pressure cooker urban society, just to be able to get our thoughts in order and think clearly about what we're doing in life.

I think that's what the whole concept of sabbatical was about, or nowdays "workcation", since sabbatical has become a luxury that most people don't get to use.
 
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thujone said:
Just wondering do you ever get away from it all? Do you need to?

Life pressures and stuff, vacations are fine but not always that relaxing...

Where do you go, and what do you do when you need to get away from it all?

I often feel a need to just get away from people and be alone, lately it feels like I never have any time alone and it has become very stressful. It's frustrating that people seem to disregard this as a psychological (spiritual?) need and act like I'm just being silly and need to snap out of it. I mean you don't yank a fish out of water and scream at it to breathe while it's flopping around gasping on dry land, right? People don't assume the fish could breathe on land if only it really put its mind to it.
Click to expand...

I spend 90% of my time alone. If you met me in person I'd be friendly and nice to you, we'd even get along, but you'd never know I'm an extreme introvert. It's only getting more that way as I get older and society seems to be getting more and more unhinged. The average person does not interest me. Constant and routine time in the outside world for long hours day after day eventually fries my nervous system and I get sick. It's been this way my whole life. Even with inner practices where I stop resisting and just practice allowing, my physical body gets tired. I can't do city life that well anymore. I can't say if it's abnormal or not, I don't know. It seems like people who can do it happen to fit perfectly into the standard mold, or they are extroverts who thrive on being outside themselves. Everyone else is a caffeine addict or has a million other coping mechanisms to get through, or they just have money to insulate themselves.

It's ironic that you refer to this alone time as disconnecting, when to me it's about reconnecting. Maybe you are more on the introvert side or just need low stimulation environments. I would sleep in a sensory deprivation tank if I could. Your frustration is understandable. The productivity mindset of our society does not value most human needs. To me the truly abnormal thing is to not understand the human need for alone time. If anyone thinks that's weird then they are the weird ones.
 
Foreigner said:
I spend 90% of my time alone. If you met me in person I'd be friendly and nice to you, we'd even get along, but you'd never know I'm an extreme introvert. It's only getting more that way as I get older and society seems to be getting more and more unhinged. The average person does not interest me. Constant and routine time in the outside world for long hours day after day eventually fries my nervous system and I get sick. It's been this way my whole life. Even with inner practices where I stop resisting and just practice allowing, my physical body gets tired. I can't do city life that well anymore. I can't say if it's abnormal or not, I don't know. It seems like people who can do it happen to fit perfectly into the standard mold, or they are extroverts who thrive on being outside themselves. Everyone else is a caffeine addict or has a million other coping mechanisms to get through, or they just have money to insulate themselves.

It's ironic that you refer to this alone time as disconnecting, when to me it's about reconnecting. Maybe you are more on the introvert side or just need low stimulation environments. I would sleep in a sensory deprivation tank if I could. Your frustration is understandable. The productivity mindset of our society does not value most human needs. To me the truly abnormal thing is to not understand the human need for alone time. If anyone thinks that's weird then they are the weird ones.
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i was basically a hermit when i was recovering from chronic illness (had to leave work) and it was great for recovery but it also made the process of reintegrating with society harder, to the extent that i'd rather not ever go through that again if possible.

i don't think being too detached from society is healthy but yeah i do think society imposes far too much and it's shitty having to be aggressive about getting time to ourselves just to not burn out.
 
Definitely hard getting back into society when you're used to being alone. I was hiding drug use and pushed away almost everyone i know and now i'm feeling better i'm noticing how much i hate crowded places.
Introverts unite alone in our own homes lol
 
thujone said:
i was basically a hermit when i was recovering from chronic illness (had to leave work) and it was great for recovery but it also made the process of reintegrating with society harder, to the extent that i'd rather not ever go through that again if possible.

i don't think being too detached from society is healthy but yeah i do think society imposes far too much and it's shitty having to be aggressive about getting time to ourselves just to not burn out.
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That's pretty much where I am at right now too. 10 years of severe chronic illness has made the world feel impossible. I'm trying to upgrade my education so that I can at least say I have something to show for all this down time. Really though, I'm pretty fucked and I'm not sure what to do about it.
 
Foreigner said:
I spend 90% of my time alone. If you met me in person I'd be friendly and nice to you, we'd even get along, but you'd never know I'm an extreme introvert. It's only getting more that way as I get older and society seems to be getting more and more unhinged. The average person does not interest me.
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This is where we depart with the non-dual stuff.

I used to spend a lot of time alone - and I still cherish that time, to some extent - but I love being around people now.

It depends on the person, obviously. With some people, it's hard to achieve the level of connection I want... but not with most.

I used to have a negative perspective of people. Now, I love everyone and I want to express that love and lift their spirits.

I genuinely like going to work because my work is all about that human connection (I'm a disability support worker).

God is alone. I think she splits herself into infinite conscious beings and projects herself into this illusory world so, ultimately, she can reconnect (or something more articulate than that, I'm tired).

I'm not sure what to do about it.
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Seek bufo.
 
Frog Dreams said:
This is where we depart with the non-dual stuff.

I used to spend a lot of time alone - and I still cherish that time, to some extent - but I love being around people now.

It depends on the person, obviously. With some people, it's hard to achieve the level of connection I want... but not with most.

I used to have a negative perspective of people. Now, I love everyone and I want to express that love and lift their spirits.

I genuinely like going to work because my work is all about that human connection (I'm a disability support worker).

God is alone. I think she splits herself into infinite conscious beings and projects herself into this illusory world so, ultimately, she can reconnect (or something more articulate than that, I'm tired).



Seek bufo.
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I don't hate people I just get easily over stimulated, and on an interactive level I find most boring. On a macro level I care about humanity and that's why I still want to be of service.
 
Foreigner said:
That's pretty much where I am at right now too. 10 years of severe chronic illness has made the world feel impossible. I'm trying to upgrade my education so that I can at least say I have something to show for all this down time. Really though, I'm pretty fucked and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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it's hard for people but especially men since we're judged by the world based on what we do.

what are you doing for schooling? if you're learning any kind of fungible skills then you could try to start freelancing, i found that helped keep me from getting too demoralized by lack of full-time work.
 
thujone said:
it's hard for people but especially men since we're judged by the world based on what we do.
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100%

Nobody gives a shit about men over 35. They just expect us to make things work otherwise fuck off.

thujone said:
what are you doing for schooling? if you're learning any kind of fungible skills then you could try to start freelancing, i found that helped keep me from getting too demoralized by lack of full-time work.
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I was going to go to med school but I am not sure it's feasible. Really I am at a cross-roads. I just want money at this point because poverty has been hard. I almost don't care what kind of job it comes from as long as it's not so stressful or risky that my illness gets reactivated.

It seems like every job I come across that is remotely appropriate has hundreds of applicants. The job market in Canada is abysmal. At least I have an ungrad degree and licensure in acupuncture. So on paper I don't look useless. But I am mostly useless now.
 
Engineering is a good trade. I took it eons ago but an accident and drugs killed that for me. I could go back to work but have to get myself sober first.

True about men though, when my boyfriend and i meet new people they always ask HIM what he does, not me. Society is to hard on men. A woman can be a cashier and that's fine but a man is expected to be the bread winner still.
Good luck @Foreigner , the job market is awful here. I've applied for part time jobs, just to slowly get back to work and every job has over 100 applicants. They see a degree on my resume so you'd think i would be overqualified but i also have a 7 year gap, so that doesn't look good. Can't put " i was hit by a car and got into drugs bad"
 
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