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Stimulants Did I go crazy?

T

TheGlenn

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 7, 2017
Messages
32
last week i decided to use a stimulant before work. I thought it would help my performance. From the afternoon to around 7pm everthing was good, was productive, happy, etc. Then i started feeling an imminent fear where i thought people were noticing i was jittery. i started to get sweaty and nervous and scared. there was a supervisor i joked with, but after the joke i noticed he got out of his seat quickly and walked down the hallway. i had thought that he figured me out and went to my supervisor and told her. I started panicing inside and was terrified. i thought he secretly went in my lockor and found the stuff. I then started hearing voices from my coworkers saying "too bad he was such a good employee, sad it will be his last day" and "why do they let him stay to work why dont they just kick him out. Evertime a coworker looked at me i thought it was a look of discust because "they knew what i was doing". My supervisors door was closed, so i started to think she was conspiring with the other sup who i thought thought i was high. i started to think they were not telling me anything because they wanted to entrap me with the cops. this was it i thought , i am going to jail. i threw away the stuff in the trash can. then i started thinking the sup wpuld go through the security cameras tonfind out where i threw it. i was terrified

end of the night and end of work ,i went to my car. i thought for sure the cops were there to pounce. They didnt. So instarted thinking they called my landlord to initiate a police takedown when i came down. i was sure the sup found out through the security camera where i threw away the stuff. I sat inside my home terrified they were gonna shoot through the door. i stayed up all night. Any car noise outside i thought was another police car driving up in the driveway. Upstairs i thought an agent was secretly talking to my landlord to coax me outside. i thought i heard them outside nut no one was there when i checked.i thought evertime i checked they went into a secret hiding place. i kept hearing my landlord say "ok, u can come back now" to the cops outside. hours went by me being terrified. then i started watching the cara amd kept moticing a white and grey suv riding back and forth. I thought they were unmarked policice trying to stalk me and wait till i left. this went on for hours being terrified of the whitensuvs.

turns out no one thought i was jittery or high at work and what i thought the comworkers were saying wasnt true at all. however it felt all so real to me. does anyone have similar stories? the sup who i thought walked away too fast was actually going to lunch.nand the worker who said "too bad he was such a good worker" was anoutnsomeone else who transfered.
 
fyi went i got home i did a gram of heroin on top of 269mg of methadone, and that disnt even calm me down lol
 
It may have been stimulant psychosis/overdose, but it's impossible to tell
How much and what stimulant did you take ?
 
a few lines of , lets says, desoxyn. the paranoia went away the next day around the afternoon. it was the h and done that calmed me down finally and brought me back. Funny how im saying diamorphine is what helped me the most, but it did. Without it i woulda gone over the edge probably
 
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Lol jesus christ, that sounds like quite the time. You simply did too much desoxyn or whatever before work. Your superviser probably (definitely) noticed, he just didn't say anything. The cops don't care about that, as long as you don't prolong the experience and doing some extremely sketchy shit. Do you see what I'm saying. Just go and take a nap or something dude. I cant put it much more simply then that
 
Yeah man. You did go into psychosis there.


Ive done meth plenty of times at work and dexamphetamine etc and Im not familiar with this desoxyn stuff but dexamphets were great and sure on stims you can feel a bit jittery and like everyone knows but you arent supposed to do drugs at work for a start and if you do not enough that would get you spun like for a night out. Just enough for a bit of oomph.

I got used to doing drugs during work after a time but dont anymore because someone I knew did find out as he was using too, we used together and he told someone who had a crush on him and after she was rejected she threatened to out me.
 
well i had told onecoworker i had a reaction with a prescription med and he said he didnt notice anything and didnt hear anything from anyone else. i kept myself pretty composed and reserved. it just the faces of everyone when they looked at me felt like i was being looked at like a animal in the zoo. the next day everyone seemed normal though
 
Yeah...honestly there were times I was iving meth and would have a little too much but had to work so spent a lot of time chewing gum, getting drinks of water and avoiding any form of personal contact by just looking very busy.

Lol. Fun times.
 
the fear was the worst ever. maybe my body just cant handle such a harsh stimulant. that day was litterally the end of the world for me and never had i felt such a fear. especially the fear of wding fro methadone in jail. i shouldnt risk my job and freedom like that
 
Not really. Maybe just not so much? You cant have what you have dose wise to get high to then have to act normal.

Im not gonna be a killjoy and say not any drugs at work as the rest of the world can do that, I would suggest having half of what you had and go out in a serious situation and see if you can handle it as practise. Sometimes Im sketchy as hell and keep a small dose aside to survive work and it helps but thats all these days. I dont drug work as a thing anymore. Just coffee and smokes.
 
Methadone is not something I have ever had and heroin I only did a few times iv but was spun off my head at the time and cant say anything helpful about it.

All I know is you should just relax now. Its sll good mate just dont talk about it ir bring that day up in conversation. If you were in trouble you would know by now ok?

Xx. Luv.
 
Stimulant psychosis is a very bizarre and trippy thing to experience, I once convinced myself that my grandfather had a message left for him by the IRA on his ceiling, after staring at the ceiling for hours upon hours, the indents and patterns on the ceiling changed to full sentences, death threats, calling him a traitor... I even called my family about it, luckily they didn't come and get me committed lol. I was convinced even after a sleep, took a few days to get my head straight.

My advice, avoid stimulants in work. Maybe a lighter stimulant like Modafinil would be better for your needs?
 
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A G of H on top of 269mg Methadone ?

That's the weirdest Methadone dose I've ever heard of.
 
It's crazy I know, but if you are on a such a high dose of Methadone, the amount of H would have to be really dangerously high in order to kick in.
 
Hmm. And the 269mg "strange dose" (just cause its such a particular mg amount) is probably he is on some kind of tapering schedule where they reduce him 1-2mg every x amount of days.
 
sanity is a relative term, but sounds like yours might have wobbled a bit
 
the 9 was a typo. its 260. the h did cut through, but it took 3 shots. the first 2 didnt feel much, the 3rd cut through like butter. was thinking maybe the cut was unevenly mixed. i dont thinkr the paranoia was unreasonble though. being afriad someone will catch u high is a legitimate concern. What i mean is that it wasnt crazy unreasonable paranoia where i am thinking aliens are going to get me or seeing ghosts. Thinking your use is being montored is quite a real threat that can happen
 
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