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Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

"All you guys need to get off that pharmaceutical crap. All these drugs are made by corporations and aren't natural. All you guys need to do is start eating a healthy diet, exercising and getting a better attitude." I hate cunts who say this who obviously never have had real, debilitating mental illness. Fortunately, BL has less of those since people here are more educated about pharmacology.
Please, start believing that your issues are chemical at least in part. When we can distance our self-esteem from our depression, we still feel depression but we can put it in its place and not let it infect our view of our selves. Everyone here is a special person who deserves happiness!
 
I am new to this concept of reaching out to other people with similar issues as myself. I noticed yourlast post was in the summer and was wondering how
you made out? How you are now, and if you could direct me in the right direction? I know stab in the dark, but im currently struggling with depression after major long term medication use and subsequent WD an the AFTERMATH! hope u are doing great and if you are busy I understand and maybe you could point me into the right direction on who to chat with to get me started...all I know is im ready for people and interaction. Be well have a nice day !!:)
 
I feel really conflicted, but suppose I have no choice. I've been struggling to get off Prozac for about a year. I go down to 5 mg, then every other day then stop. I think everything is okay, and go a long time, then when symptoms start, it takes a while to piece it together because each time is different. My psych keeps saying how Prozac is so uncommon for this, but that it is a discontinuation syndrome. He recommends I stay on a low dose, the problem is finding a dose that doesn't mute my personality and give me unwanted side effects. I recently crashed my car and my family feels I tried to hurt myself on purpose. For this reason I have agreed to take 10 mg a day and the thought of being a numb thing again kills me. But I see how much this hurt them, now that they have finally talked to me and explained how erratic I have been. My research tells me this syndrome can last years, maybe forever. I started Prozac for some severe PMS and feel it made me into a total depressive. The thing is, some of the feelings I get during these episodes I feel should be explored. I don't think they should be muted. Psych says they are "neuro emotions". I say they are emotions that have been stocked away and not dealt with, along with the issues that surface. It is so hard to tell.
Trying to find a good therapist to explore these things is tough, I am a snob when it comes to counseling, but I think I found one.
I do have psych, but he does meds.
Just want thoughts. I guess there is no other recourse.
 
geoffreychaucer said:
"All you guys need to get off that pharmaceutical crap. All these drugs are made by corporations and aren't natural. All you guys need to do is start eating a healthy diet, exercising and getting a better attitude." I hate cunts who say this who obviously never have had real, debilitating mental illness. Fortunately, BL has less of those since people here are more educated about pharmacology.
Please, start believing that your issues are chemical at least in part. When we can distance our self-esteem from our depression, we still feel depression but we can put it in its place and not let it infect our view of our selves. Everyone here is a special person who deserves happiness!
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I know what you mean but honestly all of those things DO help, at least I've found. Will it cure you? No, but I don't think just taking meds but not exercising, having a healthy diet and making sure other aspects of your life are in check is good either.
 
nuttynutskin said:
I know what you mean but honestly all of those things DO help, at least I've found. Will it cure you? No, but I don't think just taking meds but not exercising, having a healthy diet and making sure other aspects of your life are in check is good either.
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I totally agree. Although meds are a must for Major depressive disorder, Bipolar disorder, Schizoaffective and Schizophrenia eating healthy and exercising also help alot. Also as many of these meds cause weight gain eating the right foods and exercising can help offset that.
 
I've know of similar issues with custody. If u possibly can get a lawyer. I know it's costly but I think it's worth it. Good luck!
 
I'm very glad this thread was made. I've been diagnosed with depression and GAD since age 13. I often feel alone struggling with these disorders as certain times are worse than others. but then I think to myself that many others are experiencing pain. then I don't feel so alone.
 
plmar said:
Anyone know what to do when all motivation is lost? I'm lazy, apathetic, and I've lost all interest in the things I enjoyed doing.
I've been trying to force myself to produce some music or play guitar, or even get my midi mixer out and play around a bit, but it seems pointless and I have no ideas at all as to what to do next etc.

I enjoy producing music to some extent and I have good technical ability when it comes to manipulating sound, or using more advanced features like compression or in depth distortion/synthesis etc, but creativity = zero.

Not only this, but I also feel anxious often and I don't see the point of going to college anymore. I know I have talent and I'm wasting it all because I haven't done any work in college for months, and suddenly I put my head down and I have the two best pieces of work in class which I had put little effort into.


Even posting this on here is slightly difficult because I feel like I'm being a spoiled or ungrateful cunt, or 'hoping for an easy way out', which I know there is none.
"Chances thrown
Nothing's free
Longing for what used to be"


Also as I've mentioned above, I have underlying anxiety problems which I can't talk to anyone about because I feel ashamed about it. If I have a hospital or dental appointment to go to, once I get there my heart rate will easily be over 160 and pumping out of my fucking chest and all my upper body muscles feel stiffened up. Even going to college has been a chore tbh. I've walked into class drunk many times because alcohol makes me feel so much better, with no hangovers, ever.
Recently I've felt as if I'm not even gonna make it past my 20s. For the last month or two i've constantly been watching heroin and other drug related documentaries and vids, hoping that by some freak chance I get my hands on some hard shit. I've been going on walks and trying to avoid people completely, leaving college late to avoid walking past groups of people, walking through this small forest and chugging beer, hidden away from view. I've got no friends and I don't feel secure in going out with people. I had done in the past and it was borderline awkward, sitting down smoking weed not feeling it at all and of course I'm the only one who doesn't get high and doesn't talk.

Don't know why I'm posting this here either tbh, nobody ever is willing to help but as I've typed this all out I might as well post it. Waste of a good 20 minutes.
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I can definitely relate to how you feel. If I can give you some quick advice I did the same thing with watching the documentaries about various drugs and thinking the same thing and believe me it's not a road you want to go down luckily I didn't take that road but I know others who did. They were so depressed and at times They were able tomrelate to the people the documentary was about and it even gave them more of a connection to that person and the situation and they ended up using.


I am prescribed pain medication and I'm CPP and it is the only thing that has helped me with my depression I am not advocating that you take any kind of opiate pain medication for depression but I just understand where you're coming from.

I am sure I am a lot older than you but when I was reading your post it reminded me of my high school days and all I did to Escape was to drink and smoke weed.

Stay strong and don't get started on opiates. I know you say you don't think you'll make it past your 20s but you have to change that mindset I felt the same way at that age I am now in my 40s and I'm still here so just keep your mind right and stay strong and you'll get through this .

I ended up joining the military which was the best thing for me I know it sounds strange but I was having the exact same feelings as you were before but when I joined everything went away it just changed my whole focus on life it wasn't until After I got out of the military when things started up again . I was unfortunately injured several times and that definitely didn't help hence me being a CPP, but most of my military career was very for fulfilling and rewarding.

If you ever feel the need to talk you can always PM me. I wish you the best.
 
Hey so just to check in - been doing OK - back on Adderall & klonopin (not that happy about being on benzos again but I'll survive).

My probation got the OK fro my doc, which made things a lot easier - and I'm about to get off (although back on soon enough) probation.

But having the scripts is preventing any overuse in self medicatign although as of late I've been unfortunately and I hope to figure something out fast. I need to busy myself.

I hope you are all well :)

-d_p
 
Hey d_p! <3"OK" is not a bad way to feel but I can tell it feels tenuous. What kinds of things are you going to try to busy yourself?
 
Ninae said:
Does anyone else agree that opiates and benzos are the only real effective medications for depression? (along with ones who are similar enough like Lyrica/Neurontin). At least for those of us who are helped by downers (I realise some will have the same to say about amphetamines and other uppers).

Just that I take them (benzos/opiates) on and off. Sometimes just for fun. Sometimes for depression/anxiety. And sometimes to hold off withdrawal.

Anyway, one thing that has become very obvious and noticable is their ability (especially when combined) to get me out of any depressed or anxious state and become COMPLETELY functional. i.e. there is nothing I feel unable to do or have resistance towards doing (that is things you should be able to do, like work, socializing, and engaging with the opposite sex).

One reason I think is that I'm hyper-vulnerable, though not especially anxious, so in a normal state things like sustaining a relationship can just become too much for me. I'm also some form of manic-depressive, or was extremely manic as a child until I reached teen-years and had to start dealing with the adult world, though more manic than depressive. So the manic state is what feels normal to me, while being at baseline or neutral is extremely boring, depression is almost better than that as at least I FEEL something.

Either way, the latter is kind of beside the point, but it makes me wonder there are no similar drugs developed to treat anxiety and depression as it could restore many to complete functionality if they were used in a moderate way.
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Lots of things work for depression IME like pot, opiates, benzos. Depression comes from too much anxiety and so you need some sedatives to get you out of it. But the man is gonna keep us down on this one.

I've been having issues with bipolar and drug addiction. I'm either manic and functioning well but doing drugs out the ass or depressed as fuck and sober. I don't know what to do anymore. Got a concussion few days ago while drunk and on shit tons of temazepam. I still feel fucking "wonky" don't like it a fucking bit. Makes me wonder how many times I've hit my head before fucked on drugs. I mean I can literally see where I got hit in the fucking mirror not in the form of a bruise but a fucking forehead that's fucking permanently misshaped.
 
Hello everybody. I'm Speed King. I am new to this awesome thread. It is forever relevant, so I don't mind posting here and keeping the thread moving. Weekend Addiction, I would like to PM you.

Next month, I am doing Ketamine treatment, to help reset and lower my need for pain medication. My psych doctor told me that it is also suppose to really help with the relief of depression. I have known her for a long time. I was wondering if anyone knows about this therhapy. I will replly after treatment.
 
I don't really know anything about Ketamine treatment, but I'd be interested to hear about your experience.


This damn disease is really starting to get on my nerves. Woke up today again with the thought "I wish it was already time to go to bed again." I am going to visit my cousin for a few days this week. I really don't feel like it at the moment, but I think it might be good for shaking my thoughts up a little.

Do you think there is something like too much or the wrong kind of positive self talk? While it sure feels better than beating yourself up all the time, I have this nagging idea in my head that I am just giving myself permission not to really try and change something. I mean sometimes being angry with yourself is the appropriate reaction, is it not?
 
Ketamine is of course used recreationally as a dissociate hallucinogen. Other chemicals in this class include PCP, DXM, ad nitrous. PCP is considered dirty and even unpleasant. DXM is the kind of drug people who absolutely need to get high use. Nitrous is well-regarded, but only lasts a few minutes, so usually involves chronic use. So, ketamine is generally the most preferred. It's a popular drug.

And it just so happens to be very effective against depression in a very short period of time after taking it. Ironically, currently, the belief is that ketamine doesn't produce its antidepressant effect by acting as an NMDA antagonist, but through its metabolite acting at the AMPA receptor, which glutamate binds to both.

Within about two years, ketamine should be a mainstream option for people with particularly treatment-resistant depression. It's been given a real legitimate name in psychiatry.

Ideally, the dose they give you is not one that will get you high, but will still be effective as an antidepressant.

Finally, people are waking up and questioning the standard rote use of antidepressants that take weeks or months to work.
 
Update for me...

Been off probation now for a bit, still got my open case but I got my psych eval done and low and behold it turned out to not be so bad (this is to get my case sent to a different court - for behavioral health where I have the chance to get it expunged etc... all I have to do is complete treatment which I'm already doing everything except seeing/finding a therapist).

Basically said I had anxiety, and wanted me to start on SSRI's and the like but because of my history with them I told him no - at least for the time being. I don't really think I'm down to take pills ever again, but if my mind opens up to something it would take a lot of research on my end and a lot of faith I've yet to find in medicine relating to such things (I already take adderall and klonopin & they support me right now, but I know the klonopin is not a forever med, and I'm looking into possibly doing some CBTherapy and eventually weaning off again). Life without benzos is heaven - abusing stims though puts you below the gutter and then I end up needing them for their actual purpose - whether or not I need them in the long run - I guess we'll see.

Hope everyone is well - wish me luck finding a half decent job that treats me like a person & pays me like I have a heartbeat.

-dp
 
herbavore said:
Hey d_p! <3"OK" is not a bad way to feel but I can tell it feels tenuous. What kinds of things are you going to try to busy yourself?
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Sorry for such a late reply - I've more recently (well let me put it this way I go on and off of being the person I'm capable of being) got back into the mindset of being healthy (physically) - funny time to do so to, to the rest of the world, it's the end of summer. For me this is just the part of me which I need to keep active at all times.

There was a point in my life where I was IVing drugs, and still waking up early and running 5 miles, but it was weird and I knew it. It's not like it gave me any more self respect at the end of the day. I guess all in all I'm happy I kept up with something, I mean positive motivation is well, positive, and if I can look forward to a time where I can look back at the time I used and was capable of such - I can only imagine what I am capable of doing when I'm not trying to hide my IV use, or trying to keep myself from staying up all night.

Really I was just thinking about it - what to do to busy myself. I was looking into possibly taking fencing lessons, or maybe grabbing a punching bag, but in reality I don't know. I rarely go out - I don't really have anyone other than those who stand to benefit from being around me (and not in a positive way) - however I'm always down to be around people and not be just that person. I guess I skipped a beat when I went from having friends to selling drugs to losing my best friends and then here we are now.

Maybe I'll join a running group or some BS like that but I know I'll fail to show up because I'm using one day here and there and then what do I say when people ask me what's up? Be honest? I have no problem with that - and then what? Umm... *person walks away*

Or I lie "Family troubles" - not much of a lie anyway lol but I don't base my conversations off BS and so it seems I need to get myself sorted before committing to anything - albeit it's worth a shot.

-dp
 
For most of my life I've dealt with near crippling depression. But over the last few years I felt I was able to gain control more and just push it down into more of a dull ache. Usually that's about where it sits these days, a feeling of general unhappiness and sadness etc that if I wanted to pay attention to it I knew it would easily multiply.

And now as I lay here, coming down from meth, I feel the depression rising up. I know I just have to get past it because it will pass. It's my dopamine and stuff being all out of whack. But I'm stuck. Feeling like crying. Wishing for one more hit. Just to ease this pain in my heart that makes me think about everything that sucks about my life and then overanalyze it and feel even worse and then repeat.

I need to just find something else to think about. Something else to do. And know that these feelings will pass. Because it will. And I just have to keep on moving. Well, after I get some sleep.
 
I have depression and anxiety, although really my generalized anxiety disorder is much worse than my depression but my depression has been really bad lately.

I've always wanted to try Ketamine recreationally, but if it could work therapeutically I'd be almost as interested.

But really, how easy is it to convince a psychiatrist to give you Ketamine therapy??

What exactly does it entail??

I already take Lexapro and Klonopin and the Klonopin is a GODSEND for my anxiety so I don't want to be cut off and I was cut off once before so I try to be VERY careful with my new psychiatrist and not ask him to abuse crazy shit cause he knows nothing about how I was once cut off (VERY UNFAIRLY) from Klonopin by another doc.

Therefore, I'd be VERY nervous about asking about Ketamine therapy and feel like i probably wouldn't, but I'd kind of like to IF I could.

I mean Kratom was actually the best antidepressant I've ever taken other than maybe shrooms but now of course I won't be able to use it anymore.

How exactly does Ketamine therapy work?

How long does it last?

Do they actually get you HIGH off of it or just use low doses to help with depression?

Do you take it when you are in therapy sessions or when you are at home/on your own?
 
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