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Coping with being alone

Sorry for your loss. It must be really hard. The hardest part is knowing they wont breathe that fresh air again or see the sun shine . The simple things, its hard to get over that. The good thing is they are not in any pain anymore.

Ive not experienced losing a really good friend just yet. But i have slowly drifted away from all my friends due to addictions so i can relate to the being alone part.

Lonliness does eat away at you slowly. Especially if you think alot on your own.

Im currently trying to quit smoking and taking up running as something to look to to get healthy.

I want friends. But i also realise i need my life stable/in a better place before i try that as i want to be able to be a good friend and not someone who burdens another person.

I think some of the suggestions are good. Going to a meeting could well help. Especially if your struggling on your own atm.

Also going back to old hobbies/ making new ones is a good way to keep your mind busy .
 
LucieQuinn said:
No, i haven't tried meetings yet, possibly because i am still a user, but i didnt know you didnt have to be clean.
Thanks for the advice.
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I went to one NA meeting everyday for about 7 months back in 2013 and wasn't clean but still thoroughly enjoyed the therapy and meeting people.
I was using prescription stimulants, benzos, and Kratom at meetings. Wasn't noticeable.
I actually got started with a sponsor who was ok with my prescriptions bc they were prescribed and I used them as directed. If you really do NA though it's all chemicals they want you to give up.

NA meetings aren't as stuffy as AA. NA meetings hug not shake hands (hugs not drugs). You'll find more old burnouts and younger people too.

AA is a LOT bigger organization
 
LucieQuinn said:
But for how long are you considered a "newcomer"?
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Within your first thirty days of recovery. item #5

A Suggested Format for Conducting an A.A. Meeting
1. Good Evening ladies and gentlemen. This is the regular meeting of the __________ group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is___________and I am an alcoholic and your Secretary.
2. Let us open the meeting with a moment of silence to do with as you wish followed by the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.

3. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.
AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
4. ____________will now read “How it Works” from Chapter 5 of the A.A. Big Book.
(note: Some groups ask other members to read the Steps and/or Traditions)
5. If it is the custom of the group:
• Ask any new members to introduce themselves by their first name only--a new member is anyone who has a desire to stop drinking and is within their first
thirty days in AA.
• Ask any visitors to introduce themselves and say where they are from.
6. Introduce the Chairperson or Speaker for the evening. If yours is a discussion type meeting, the Secretary conducts the discussion. ...

Most meetings I've been to basically follow this format, swapping addiction for alcoholism at NA and so on...
 
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schizoinfective said:
i always like to say "allahu ackbar" after they say the lords prayer if they do. careful tho, it almost got me beat up
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simstim said:
I find myself saying insha allah even though I am an English speaking Christian. I don't know why i find that the easiest way to say "If God will's it".
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I’ve lived in a predominantly Muslim country for many years and always found those phrases quite beautiful as they are used in daily life. My friends and others would say ‘Allahu Akbar’ at moments of delight and joy and “Insha’Allah” at moments of uncertainty or speculation all the time. I got into the habit of thinking it in my head as well. ALthough I always thought it inappropriate to say it out loud. They would also use ‘Insha’Allah’ quite cynically when they knew someone was not really committed to doing something they said they would do.
 
axe battler said:
Yeah man meetings will help you get out and meet people. You're now destined to be lonely. There's always a way to meet people. You don't have to do NA/AA as there's other kinds of meetings based around CBT. They used to be called SMART meetings but they've changed names I think.
Have a look online and see what's out there.
You sound very lonely. Don't seem too desperate when you do meet people as it can scare people away who are a bit timid/shy.
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... also attracting the wrong kind of people
 
I miss the program. I haven't been to a meeting since relapsing and because there weren't any in-person meetings in my state for most of last year and they've only resumed recently. But if I'm being honest with with myself it has more to do with introducing myself as a new member with less than 30 days of recovery
 
Really try meetings!! I got sober in NYC in the 80s , you would think that with 8 million people, how is anyone lonely?? Well many are, and we had lots of non addicts or drunks in meetings ( no one is ever asked to leave) I still have friends I love like brothers from those days!! As the ladies have said stay with the guys ( no 13th step really work out often) Lol LOl
the whole country is fucked up, lonely, isolated, and in disrepair , but meeting are still a very healthy, caring and Safe place!!
 
Perforated said:
I’ve lived in a predominantly Muslim country for many years and always found those phrases quite beautiful as they are used in daily life. My friends and others would say ‘Allahu Akbar’ at moments of delight and joy and “Insha’Allah” at moments of uncertainty or speculation all the time. I got into the habit of thinking it in my head as well. ALthough I always thought it inappropriate to say it out loud. They would also use ‘Insha’Allah’ quite cynically when they knew someone was not really committed to doing something they said they would do.
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I worked and became good friends with a Muslim man who used Insha' Allah in the affirmative, "God willing" as opposed to "if God wills it"
 
I have come to the conclusion that I am not by myself, I am with myself. Afterall, self love is the motherfucking key to happibess in this world. So I take the time to pamper & shower myself with the things that I enjoy doing. I give myself gifts & everyday I walk out the door I make sure I look my best. Hell, one day I wore pink satin ballroom gloves to go grocery shopping. It elevated my mood to the point of overflowing joy & utter bliss.
 
I don't like people or crowds.

Just having someone who would want to pay attention to me for me would be an anchor
 
I'm so sad and lonely tonight. It's been 4 months since my best friend died. If he were still here, i'd be downstairs with him.
All my life ive had darkness and tragedy. My gothic nature reflects the despair that I feel inside.
I have relapsed harder than ever, and, for the longest time, find myself with no one in the world to call.
 
Well you came to the right place. Welcome back. It feels like a lot longer than four months for me but I imagine even more so for you. I have a song for you although I wish I could find a live version. It's from this English artist named John Wesley Harding and he cut an album but he's a folk singer and I don't know what he was thinking because it was not performed as a folk song but he put a lot of distortion in it.

Give me a second I might be able to find someone else playing it on a guitar
 
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