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Confess Your Drug Sins Here, 1 at a time.

3mmc---- but to the point had almost a break down due to the heavy use... sex was great but was fucking up everything else in our life
 
When I had to lie to make sure I was not caught but instead my girl was losing confidence on her own instincts.

We do horrible stuff when we are high and these small things come back to us.
I hope I can somehow make it right with most people I hurt.
 
I never thought I would become such a big substance abuser. I've even stolen drugs from my ex boyfriend's mom. It's like I have no control and I just take it without thinking. I'm His mother never said anything to me, but I'm sure she noticed. The thought makes me cringe with shame.

Currently I'm hooked on Etizolam and I've done insanely embarrassing things while out on dates because I took too much. I suffer from anxiety and depression and Etizolam completely eliminates anxiety to a scary point. Literally, you will do anything you want to do and not think twice about it. You will black out and have amnesia. I've watched movies before and forgotten the whole thing. I've fallen in a bathtub at a guy's house when I was drinking on it. I've fallen through a large television at home without even remembering. I just noticed the screen was completely caved in so I must have collapsed into it or something. All of these horrible things I've done and I continue to be a slave to this drug because it's the only thing that completely makes me forget myself and my life. It makes me feel happy and social. The consequences are severe though. I need help, but I keep ordering it. I went through 2 bottles of 120 pills within a week or two. I say and do whatever comes to my mind while on it. It's dangerous. Clonazolam is twice as strong and I do that too. Please stay away from these if you can. It will ruin your life and you won't remember a lot. I've been told I've been picked up off the floor many times. No memory of it, but bruises.
 
Getting money from my son's school allowance. He was very young but I know he noticed it.
I don't believe I did these horrible things. Regrets..

They are doing great, I just hope I could forgive myself for all these shitty horrible things I had done with my life.
 
Erik, follow the quote in your profile and start loving yourself, people change, you changed, you're doing great, keep it up!

Mr current drug sin: drug-induced apathy about doing drugs and about life in general. I no longer have motivation to fix my habits, and my habits keep me feeling that way.

Vanilla and also insidious.
 
You are right SirTop. Good idea.
I'm sure this is just a phase though.
A long one. :\
 
I remembered now that people would say I love you whenever they were high.
In one minute they are your best friend, hours later they hate you.
That must be awful on the next day.
"where am I", "how could I have done that"? etc, etc.
 
Erikmen said:
I remembered now that people would say I love you whenever they were high.
In one minute they are your best friend, hours later they hate you.
That must be awful on the next day.
"where am I", "how could I have done that"? etc, etc.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I can relate to feeling "love" while on drugs...you "love" everyone and you really do believe it! It feels real as long as the high lasts. I used to get warm feelings and have "love" towards my ex while on kratom. If I didn't have kratom, I guess I saw things for what they really were and he was annoying as fuck. When kratom worked or tramadol before that, I could overlook it. Being sober you can see exactly the situation you're in.
It's crazy what drugs and even alcohol can do.
It puts you in a fantasyland.
 
Got way too fucked up on heroin, xanax, and vodka.... so fucked up that I couldn't save my friend. I also didn't realize the extent of the situation because of the drugs and going into a panic attack at the same time. He died that night. I still have ptsd from the whole situation. I even overdosed that night and somehow made a how high are you post in the mists of it... before I passed out on the bathroom floor.
 
I sold ivory soap as crack the other day with my best friend so that we could go buy some real crack
 
xstayfadedx said:
Got way too fucked up on heroin, xanax, and vodka.... so fucked up that I couldn't save my friend. I also didn't realize the extent of the situation because of the drugs and going into a panic attack at the same time. He died that night. I still have ptsd from the whole situation. I even overdosed that night and somehow made a how high are you post in the mists of it... before I passed out on the bathroom floor.
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I am sorry to hear that. Under those circumstances, it's not your fault. It could have happened to you.
 
Erikmen said:
I am sorry to hear that. Under those circumstances, it's not your fault. It could have happened to you.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your words... I guess, or at least I'm hoping that one day I will come to terms with it. At that time, I wanted to die though and I couldn't believe how I made it... and he was the one who died. I am thankful to be here now though and life is a lot better. I also do not touch heroin, or any opiates in general anymore.
 
I remember running around town hitting drug dealers over the head with a hammer knocking them out and stealing all their dope.
 
I hope you have changed your method. I can imagine your despair.
 
Searched through dozens and dozens of my fathers customers medicine cabinets (he owns a construction company)looking for "lean" because I justified to myself that it would prob be old and no one actually needed it. Came across all sorts of shit (oxys,Vic's,various narcotic syrups, kpins etc.)but never took anything somehow. Just risking jeopardizing my families livelihood like that left me with a lot of guilt.
 
Also introducing countless people to countless drugs while profiting off of them. Although I never gave anyone opiates which gives me some peace of mind
 
That's what some people do depending on what circle of friends you have or even your own needs. Sometimes people sell to use, idk if that's your case but it's a good thing you haven't passed on opiates.
 
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