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  • NSADD Moderators: deficiT | Jen

Opioids Chicago dope thread

I don't know what tha hell is going on but it's already been 3 hours since I woke up and I feel like I'm good, I am actually in a good mood! Not sick, like I don't need my morning shot! First time in my life! Well, I'm gonna do it anyway in about 5 minutes cause it's a scary shit how I feel right now?
 
^damn man, i have felt like that before! Like I woke up HEALED and dont need whatever opiate. It was awesome but YES kind of unnerving. I never.... went with it and chose not to use... shit, huh.haha.

Anyways, 4 days off h again. And like over a week off the white stuff. Weed? I smoke as much and often as I can. Being on suboxone is an emotional rollercoaster. At least, it feels like it. After being in a constant state of numb for decade +/- feeling ANYTHING is very uncomfortable. = anxiety, for me.

Keep on truckin, folks. When Im not using hard drugs I try not to check these forums much.
 
I call it the on fire feeling, thats what I equate it to. Only thing to do is run lol. have u rushing back to the dealer not kuz u wana get high but bekuz ur skin feels like its tightening around u and on fire for all intensive purposes. Being locked in a cell in this state is hell on earth because u cant go anywhere. U cant even take a hot shower to calm the symptoms.
 
MadeInChicago said:
I call it the on fire feeling, thats what I equate it to. Only thing to do is run lol. have u rushing back to the dealer not kuz u wana get high but bekuz ur skin feels like its tightening around u and on fire for all intensive purposes. Being locked in a cell in this state is hell on earth because u cant go anywhere. U cant even take a hot shower to calm the symptoms.
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Yea i know that feeling...its like ur muscles or body wants to crawl out of its skin!!!! I hate that....and theres nothing u can do with that anxiety feeling..shit is awful.
 
musicinmyveins said:
Oh yeah, there's one thing you can do about that feeling!!! Hahaha....
No I know it's not funny
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Like for real man...that shit will make u suicidal...like i would never do that...but i can see how a mentally weak person would comit an act of violence against themselves
...cuz its just that miserable of a feeling.
 
TMT247 it is really sad when people commit suicide. And there is 10000 different reasons why they do this. I'm sure many people did it while withdrawing, detoxing ...they just couldn't stand that 'feeling' or their life in general. But I wasn't talking about suicide...the one thing you can do about that feeling is unfortunately more heroin, one more hit ...and that's why it is not funny! Your body, your mind and your life is controlled by something the size of one grain of rice
 
musicinmyveins said:
TMT247 it is really sad when people commit suicide. And there is 10000 different reasons why they do this. I'm sure many people did it while withdrawing, detoxing ...they just couldn't stand that 'feeling' or their life in general. But I wasn't talking about suicide...the one thing you can do about that feeling is unfortunately more heroin, one more hit ...and that's why it is not funny! Your body, your mind and your life is controlled by something the size of one grain of rice
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I always think about it as being a slave to a plant, something that just grows in the ground naturally completely take control of your life. I know they add certain chemicals and there is a process to actually make heroin, but it originally starts out as a plant, all drugs for that matter in some way start off as plants.
 
I am so ready to jump back in this life. Years clean, and my life is just as humiliating as it ever was as a junkie. If I have weed, I can manage to get through the day, when I run out and take a look at this life I'm leading, all I really can do is cry and lay in bed.
 
neutrino said:
I am so ready to jump back in this life. Years clean, and my life is just as humiliating as it ever was as a junkie. If I have weed, I can manage to get through the day, when I run out and take a look at this life I'm leading, all I really can do is cry and lay in bed.
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Even though I don't know you, I'm going to say that your life is most likely a lot better than when you were using. You probably feel that it isn't do to stress, anxiety/depression, and just the simple fact that things might not be going the way you want or hoped they would. But think back to when you were using, and all of the bullshit that went along with being a junky. Lying, cheating, and stealing. Having to deal with the horrible withdrawals when you didn't have the means to get dope. Not having trust or respect from your friends or family. Legal problems. Depression from realizing you're a junky. Living to use and using to live. Maybe homelessness. And everything else. Not saying that those all apply to you, but they eventually could if you go back down that road. Now think about your life now, sober. You may have some anxiety or depression but at least you know you're not going to wake up tomorrow sick to your stomach hoping you have enough or can get enough money as soon as possible for that next fix. You say your life is humiliating? Who's judging you? Who are you embarrassed to face now that you wouldn't be more embarrassed to face as a junky? because of there is someone in your life like that, fuck them. You are living in a way that 90% of other junkys can't live no matter how bad they would like to. That is something to be proud of no matter how bad your situation is right now. And it's not going to get better having a drug as enslaving as heroin controlling your life. Stay on the right path my friend. Things will get better as long as you want them to cuz as long as you want things to get better, you're more likely going to do whatever it takes to improve your situation. Being in the grips of addiction is an obstacle you've already overcome, don't go back and try it again. This is one example of practice does not make perfect. I wish the best for you, even though I do not know you, my prayers go out to you.
 
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neutrino said:
I am so ready to jump back in this life. Years clean, and my life is just as humiliating as it ever was as a junkie. If I have weed, I can manage to get through the day, when I run out and take a look at this life I'm leading, all I really can do is cry and lay in bed.
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Don't do it. Seriously, heroin and opiates will not solve your problems, and will make things 1,000X worse for you. Stay safe.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
...will make things 1,000X worse for you. Stay safe.
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Although I believe the stigma does more to hurt addicts than help them, the stigma being big as it is, is for a reason. The shits no joke, we are talking about PEOPLES LIVES man. Quality of life, widespread effects from this stuff. Mfs losing their cribs, kids not getting fed, hitting licks & dodging cops. Shit crazy...dont touch the stuff thats all I can tell ya. Its a whole 'nother world of consciousness.
-MadeInChicago
 
Most junkies I know think about suicide all the time. I know i fucking do. I just won't do it because I dont want my parents and siblings to have to deal with the aftermath. Selfish? Most ppl who are suicidal dont care.

Its a tough fucking battle. Every day is a struggle. Im putting in one of my better efforts to stay out of the hard drug life... sticking to my herb as much as I can.
 
neutrino said:
I am so ready to jump back in this life. Years clean, and my life is just as humiliating as it ever was as a junkie. If I have weed, I can manage to get through the day, when I run out and take a look at this life I'm leading, all I really can do is cry and lay in bed.
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i can relate man...I've been finding myself daydreaming about the lifestyle...I've worked hard to get out of it...but in some sick way I miss the fuck out of it. Sure it sucked, a lot of it really sucked...but I did enjoy it to some extent...of course being on the nod, but more than that...maybe I'm fucked in the head...morally deficient ...or maybe that's just my Catholic upbringing shining through..nothin like catholic guilt! Either way I know it's not a sustainable lifestyle to live..but man...it scares me to think I might have really fucked myself for the rest of my life by picking up the needle, knowing that everything pleasurable will always be trumped by that really good rush...anything great in life will always be #2...like being doped up is as close as I've ever felt to complete and unadulterated euphoria. Sure other things in life are great...but will EVERYTHING ALWAYS be second best?

it fucking terrifies me. Anyone else in my boat? Take care you prince and princesses of nodlandia. Stay safe.
 
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All I wanna say is... I was doing great for 5 years... when I was sober, but since I've picked up again 1 year ago, my life is miserable!
 
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