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Can't get a GF because ugly as fuck

M

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
703
It's fucked. I'm 35 and haven't been laid in nearly 15 years now. I'm pretty fucking ugly. My face is all fucked up. For instance, I have a receding hairline; I have a big fuckin' nose; I'm pale as a fucking vampire; I have small but fat fucking lips; my eyebrows are pretty fucking gross and resemble two fat slugs;I have a weak/receding chin; and I have chubby cheeks ... so as you can tell, it's no wonder why I've only had one GF in my entire life. I can lift weights and put on muscle, but it's always face over muscle when it comes to attraction. And no matter how muscular I become, my face will forever be fucked up beyond recognition. And to top it all off, my social skills are pretty poor and I'm currently unemployed. I can't even get 4/10 girls interested. I walk around and it's as though I'm invisible to the opposite gender. It's fucked up. But I can't blame girls for not being attracted to me. I mean if I were a girl and I saw myself at the mall I'd avert eye contact and be thinking to myself "that's one ugly motherfucker!".
 
What are your hobbies? Can you join a club or something based on your interests?
Looks do usually catch the eye, but getting to know a person through similar interests and hobbies could maybe spark something for you?
Looks fade... and that goes for everyone!
What's your style? "Ugly" is in the eye of the beholder... maybe you could play with your looks and get funky! Spice up and live true!
 
You got a sense of humour and that's very important, you made me giggle at the way you described yourself

Not that it's funny being unattractive but it's how you told the story lol

Like a said having a sense of humour is important
 
Quickfixgrrl said:
What are your hobbies? Can you join a club or something based on your interests?
Looks do usually catch the eye, but getting to know a person through similar interests and hobbies could maybe spark something for you?
Looks fade... and that goes for everyone!
What's your style? "Ugly" is in the eye of the beholder... maybe you could play with your looks and get funky! Spice up and live true!
Click to expand...

I don't have many hobbies but the hobbies I do have are generally considered geeky and solitary. I really don't agree with this "ugly is in the eye of the beholder" ... for instance, would you consider some fat bush-pig celebrity who is 50 lbs overweight as attractive? Nope? Didn't think so. The more masculine features a man has equates to how attractive others see him; conversely, the more feminine features a woman has equates to how attractive others see her. What I'm getting at is that the most masculine men date the most feminine women. Basic laws of attraction here. Also, I can't really "spice up" with a non-existent chin and having the Norwood reaper collecting his dues ...
Flower Fairy said:
You got a sense of humour and that's very important, you made me giggle at the way you described yourself

Not that it's funny being unattractive but it's how you told the story lol

Like a said having a sense of humour is important
Click to expand...
Heh. Maybe. But I'm a mess with talking to people in general because of my shitty social skills ...
 
I can lift weights and put on muscle, but it's always face over muscle when it comes to attraction.
Click to expand...
- body fat affects the appearance of your face (cf. chubby cheeks)
- insulin resistance contributes to hair loss
- minoxidil (Rogaine) is effective in about half of cases
- being heavier isn't always better (and almost always bad at BMI > 29)
You can keep making excuses for eating badly but it's still a bad idea
 
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man, appearance is important, I am not denying it, but I have seen many ugly guys with very beautiful women

You have no other choice, you need to get used to having 100 NO to 1 YES, yet, you got one, next time will be 2

While getting 100 NO, it is fucking hard but you cannot quit the field, continuing playing until the mastery comes
 
Michael_25 said:
It's fucked. I'm 35 and haven't been laid in nearly 15 years now. I'm pretty fucking ugly. My face is all fucked up. For instance, I have a receding hairline; I have a big fuckin' nose; I'm pale as a fucking vampire; I have small but fat fucking lips; my eyebrows are pretty fucking gross and resemble two fat slugs;I have a weak/receding chin; and I have chubby cheeks ... so as you can tell, it's no wonder why I've only had one GF in my entire life. I can lift weights and put on muscle, but it's always face over muscle when it comes to attraction. And no matter how muscular I become, my face will forever be fucked up beyond recognition. And to top it all off, my social skills are pretty poor and I'm currently unemployed. I can't even get 4/10 girls interested. I walk around and it's as though I'm invisible to the opposite gender. It's fucked up. But I can't blame girls for not being attracted to me. I mean if I were a girl and I saw myself at the mall I'd avert eye contact and be thinking to myself "that's one ugly motherfucker!".
Click to expand...

I'm like, extremely into guys with "ugly faces" and muscled bodies. Pretty sure I'm not alone.
 
There's a fine line between gaining convinced in healthy was vs. artificially.

Don't change who you are. Though you can try getting out of your comfort zone and learning more about how you interact with the world and those who live in it.

If you fake it, people can tell. Easily, i'm afraid.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a unique mind, unique body language and ideas. Don't try to micromanage it.

When you are "doing you", people see that you are fearless, more lack of a better word, and will flock to you regardless.

Because people feel comfortable around people who are comfortable with themselves.
 
jboomer said:
Also I so happened to just run across this on Reddit

www.realclearscience.com

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive | RealClearScience

What body type does the opposite sex find attractive? It's a question that frustrates a great many young, heterosexual people and fuels their actions. In Western countries, stereotypes and media...
www.realclearscience.com www.realclearscience.com
Click to expand...

Interesting.

I dunno if my preferences are typical of other straight women, but I don't find muscly men all that attractive. In fact I prefer men who just look, average.

I guess it's because I feel like men who have lots of muscle are more likely to be men who place a lot of importance on how other people see them.

And well, what I find attractive is men who do what they want to do. Who know who they are and are true to that, who aren't followers or obsessed with conforming to what they think society says men "should be".

I dunno, all I can say for sure is that while I don't find muscles unattractive, I find more average looking guys more appealing.

Ultimately though, it's a guys personality I'm interested in. Their appearance is only of secondary importance to me. Mental strength is what I find attractive.

I can't tell you that all women are like me. Some women are shallow bimbos. But did you really want shallow bimbos to start with?
 
JessFR said:
Interesting.

I dunno if my preferences are typical of other straight women, but I don't find muscly men all that attractive. In fact I prefer men who just look, average.

I guess it's because I feel like men who have lots of muscle are more likely to be men who place a lot of importance on how other people see them.

And well, what I find attractive is men who do what they want to do. Who know who they are and are true to that, who aren't followers or obsessed with conforming to what they think society says men "should be".

I dunno, all I can say for sure is that while I don't find muscles unattractive, I find more average looking guys more appealing.

Ultimately though, it's a guys personality I'm interested in. Their appearance is only of secondary importance to me. Mental strength is what I find attractive.

I can't tell you that all women are like me. Some women are shallow bimbos. But did you really want shallow bimbos to start with?
Click to expand...

Something I've been grappling with recently is should I subtly manipulate my personality or just be a real motherfucker? My dilemma is that I'm super into girls who make me work for it (or just str8 don't like me, which is highly problematic) but I get a lot of attention just being myself. So essentially I attract a lot of girls that I don't feel the same way about, and kill myself trying to get the girls that want me to change or don't like my base personality.

I miss the good ol days of getting laid just for being a skinny punk dude.
 
Why would you wanna be with someone who doesn't like who you are?

I mean, I get that the heart wants what it wants and it isn't always rational. I'm just curious if you had any idea what about such women you find appealing.
 
JessFR said:
Why would you wanna be with someone who doesn't like who you are?

I mean, I get that the heart wants what it wants and it isn't always rational. I'm just curious if you had any idea what about such women you find appealing.
Click to expand...

It's definitely some cryptic, deeply-rooted psychological aspect of myself that I still don't entirely understand.
 
Weird.

Sounds kinda self destructive though. You are who you are. Being with someone who can't tolerate that seems like a recipe for heartbreak for the both of you.
 
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