Mental Health Bipolar Disorder Mega Thread

Thanks for the replies. I am open to change my plans.
I've only ever had manic episodes. Maybe this is why paliperidone/risperidone has worked for me. If it is fast acting wouldn't I be able to take it only when I had a problem?
I would prefer something injectable to pills, but that's unlikely I could obtain that.
The side effects of paliperidone for me... it's only really noticeable over time. I never have a proper long belly laugh, never cry. I was trying to remember my dad's wedding, which was about six months ago, and can't even remember if it was before or after Christmas.
I live with my mum who I believe takes lithium religiously. Her feet twitch so much that she wears holes in her shoes and mentally she's not the woman my dad once married. She's lovely but she is regularly forgetting conversations we've had. Despite the sacrifice it hasn't kept her protected from late life episodes.
And weight gain. I've put on 50kgs lost 20kgs over the years I've been treated. Every drop in meds I drop weight.

I've tried valproate. A bunch of anti-psychotics. Olanzypine, risperidone, aripiprozole, about three others. Paliperidone is the best one so far.

Had a bit of a high time last summer. Slept at a friend's place on a child's bed and had crap sleep for about a week. One high day, nothing extreme I took my guitar to the park and loved just playing chords. That night I took a sleeping tablet, next day I was fine, absolutely fine.
Also when I get hospitalized I wake up not manic the day after they admit me. Not sure what they put in me.

So those things give me hope for intermittent treatment.

I've been off lithium for 17 months now. I don't think anyone except me would have predicted my wellness. I believe lithium has precipitated many of my manias because I stop taking it reliably exactly when I need it most, even with the best of intentions.

This experience has given me some confidence in my own judgement. But I'm taking stock that I've had two cautious responses. Thanks for that.
 
for me,the shame and guilt that
comes after a manic episode is unbearable.
both mania and depression are devastasting
for me.

I'm on 5 different meds and just want this life
to be over.
I can never in this lifetime right all the wrongs
i have done.
for the last 20 years mental illness has ruled my life.
 
How can you be feel guilty if you didn't have your reason? I woke a girl up at 5am and mock strangled her with an umbrella. The only reason I should feel guilty is if I went off my meds, that time I didn't. Even if I did I feel going off meds its justifiable. How does she feel? I called her a few months ago. She was glad I got in touch and forgave me. I must have felt some guilt because that was cathartic.
I'd feel different if I'd done permanent damage though. Most likely way of me doing that is driving. Yeah Ok, ignore that first question in that first paragraph.

I know the risk of innocent people getting harmed is real, but humanity takes those gambles all the time. Cars, come to mind again. Also the reality is way slimmer than the fear. All those people, all those episodes and the media loves unusual, unfair deaths. Yet they don't seem to have an endless supply.

About you though. I know your story can help others, help bring understanding. Maybe you can't right all the wrongs but if your life finished today I feel the world has lost hard won lessons or pathos.

There is such a lack of understanding of mental illness and suffering. It defies a lot of storytelling channels - writing, video. Really grassroots is the way.

I'm from New Zealand. I feel we have less acceptance than a country like Brazil (they always seem to have some firsthand experience ) but much more than , say, Korea. This tells me progress can be made.

If you need a purpose how does that role fit? Mental illness awareness evangelist
 
Hey thedawn,

I would encourage you to ally yourself with those whom have had mental illness either directly or those whom have experienced and dealt with the mental illness of their friends/family. These are the kind of people that won't hold anything that you did (because of your mental illness) against you.

While I think it's admirable for you to want to fix relationships which were damaged because of your illness, it comes down to whether or not these people will forgive you. You can do your absolute best to show that you care about someone. I applaud that. But some people just won't "get it". We live in a society which, though it's getting better, doesn't universally believe in mental illness and/or treats the mentally ill as inferior. This is a grave injustice that I mourn somewhat regularly. But if I spend too much time thinking about what I did wrong, or how bigotry against the mentally ill is still prominent, and in some cases, public, I'll never allow myself to change, to reach for new heights.

Find those who "get it". Cherish them.

signalsign,

I'm not so clear on what happened with this woman.

Many of the mentally ill experience guilt, if for no other reason than that they are blamed for what is out of their control.

To an extent, one is allowed the choice to take medicine or not.

Are you talking about the risk to innocent people if one stops taking their medication? It's true that we take risks every day. But we do our best to mitigate (to minimize) them.

When you say that "the reality is way slimmer than the fear", do you mean that mentally ill people are unfairly demonized by the media, and that the harm they pose to society is much less than people believe? If so, I'd have to agree.

The world needs mentally ill people partly because our experiences have led us to become more tolerant of others. That's what I'm hearing from you, and again I agree completely.
 
To anyone who may have some answers:

I'm a 19 year old female that has been recently diagnosed as having clinical depression, bipolar with manic episodes, and ADHD.
When i went in to take my psych tests, i convinced myself that all my sadness, physical pain, and mania was all in my head, that i made it up for attention. So when i began my tests i answered 100% honestly, convinced it would come back that i'm fine and just a drama queen. But alas, i do have some mental health issues that need to be addressed.

Now since those tests i have been OBSESSING over the possibility that i'm making all my problems up. I've avoided calling the psychiatrist for fear that nothing is wrong, and my family and doctors will be angry for me wasting their time, or that my friends that know, will turn their backs on me(even though they have never ever done anything of the sorts). Every single day all day i'm consistently arguing with my inner self. I cant trust any of my emotions, i always think they are fake. Every glimpse of happiness i chalk up to mania, but then i think, well i haven't done anything damaging, so i cant be manic OR bipolar. It's gotten to the point where i think i'm lying every time i say something, anything, which is bullshit. It's non stop, even as i'm writing this, i'm questioning the validity of my words and emotions.

It's important to know that i fully understand that i am, without a doubt, bipolar manic depressive and that that's not the issue. I understand these fears are with out merit, and that my distrust of myself is very misplaced.The problem is, that even though i know all of this, i can not stop obsessing over my distrust of myself. Its an awful thing to fight everyday, and all i need is some unbiased reassurance.

Please, anything and everything will help.
 
Bipolar people...hello

Do you find your opiate use negatively or positively affects your bipolar status?

I find it calms my cycling down and keeps episodes to a minimum.
 
Wow i totally forgot i even made this thread lol. I forgot i was staff back in 2011 which must have been not long before i quit.
 
hey guys, i'm new here and had a couple of questions regarding lithium carbonate.
firstly, let me get this out of the way- im bipolar and severely depressed. also recently started doing weed.
1- will i have less fun on weed if im also taking lithium carbonate? since it reduces mania or something?
2- do i absolutely need lithium? it just seems very sketchy and id rather not start taking it unless i have to
3- will i be dull and depressed all the time on lithium?
 
Look into Depakote before trying lithium.
When I was researching meds lithium kept coming up because it's one of the oldest medications used to treat bipolar. I mentioned it to the doctor I was seeing at the time and she said lithium should be a last resort, at least in my case even though I lean more on the manic side.
I think on most drugs like lithium or depakote you'll feel a little dull and sleepy at first, I never felt depressed though. After your body adjusts that tired feeling should go away. The first week I took depakote I could hardly get out of bed but since then it's been the best choice I ever made.
I smoked pot on mood stabilizers and a whole cocktail of antideppresants and never noticed a difference.
 
Also if you're depressed they may give you more than one kind of pill. I still take prozac with my depakote as well as effexor and lamictal. Which sounds like a lot but combining them has been a great choice.
 
what pisses me off is when i was sent to a psych ward i was never informed that it was a mental hospital and i was not sure where they sent me until a week after staying in such a hellish place, had i been told where i was sent/staying i would not have blabbed on about my ridiculous thoughts and came too. anyone under the right amount of stress lack of sleep and on drugs can develop psychosis. i have never felt so unlucky, I'm sorry but antipsychotics are like poison made me feel worse. benzos are the real cure for psychosis and schizophrenia
 


same age psychosis 9 months ago tried to overdose 2 months ago I'm 17 and had to drop out and quit sports. everything he talks about is happening to me right now.
PLEASE INFORM ME OF HIS MEDICATIONS BECAUSE IM IN NEED OF OPTIONS
 
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Do you find your opiate use negatively or positively affects your bipolar status?

I find it calms my cycling down and keeps episodes to a minimum.

My dr prescribed Percocet to me a few months ago and I'm using it as prescribed....my moods seem calmer, too. In a good way...maybe it's simply because I'm no longer in pain 24/7?
 
Opiate use is nice every now and then, it does calm the bipolar mind down. The problem is if you get caught up in taking it every day. It all becomes a vicious cycle.

A hospital stay put space between me and any substance I was taking. It was nice to realize I really don't "need" any drug and felt very clear-minded. Benzos are a big help though. It's not something to take every single day, Just another vicious cycle...rinse and repeat. I don't want to get caught up again with having any drugs in my system on a daily basis.
 
I know a lot of you are going through a shit tonne. So just to make life easier I made a video to show things you can do to make your lives a hell of a lot better.

If you just take the time to follow the demands then you will surely at least feel better mood-stability wise.

Here is a video to illustrate:-

 
If any of you reading this thread have experienced or know someone who has experienced psychotic auditory (sound) hallucinations, please check out the new thread titled "The Others Within: Invasive / Judgmental Psychoses Caused by Cultural Programming." It's a short theory article that I just wrote, after years of being a remediated Bipolar I sufferer and, now, an MA of psychological anthropology. I hope it helps you and/or someone you care about!
 
I wouldn't expect an MA student to be aware of such things (just kidding).
 
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