• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Bf makes me pay him for weed

S

Smokeyblues

Greenlighter
Joined
May 19, 2016
Messages
8
I'm not sure if this is allowed so please remove if it isn't.

I've been with my bf for a little over ten years. We are middle aged and live together. I don't know if this matters to my question.

He smoked when we met, I did not. In the passed two years I've started using it to help with sleep and sometimes fun.

He buys enough (readily available) for a few weeks, provides for a few family members.

The other day his brother was here when I needed some. I bought it; I always do. His brother was outraged telling my bf he was an asshole to make ME pay. Especially the same $ as others

I am not well versed in this and do not want to ask my adult children.

Is this unusual?
 
Idk if it changes after you become grumpy middle aged man but I haven't made anyone pay for sharing my weed unless of course when buying it together. I haven't never asked anyone to give anything for smoking weed with me as in my terms I would become a dealer after that.
 
You live together, have children together, basically are a family, and he asks for money for cannabis? Does he ask money for the food he buys, or whatever else? It does seem weird to me, I can't imagine myself asking for money from my SO for the drugs I let her use from my stash.
 
Kids aren't his, just mine.

I pay him weekly for my half of the monthly bills and we buy our groceries separate. I know that's weird. I buy my own meal if we go out too. I guess I am answering myself here
 
Nothing wrong with it if you're both okay with doing things separately. If I were buying the weed for the family, then I'd just expect my SO to buy something else for the family regularly.
 
Yeaaaa, I'm 30. Been smoking for like... 13-15 years. I'm single now but the first time being single since like.... I was 15... so yea anyway... I've always dated women that smoke the same amount as me... which is like... anytime that we are at home. I have NEVER made my significant other PAY ME for the herb she smoked. In retrospect... even though I think shes a complete bitch now... I still wouldn't ever have made her pay to smoke it.

I feel that if you are in a loving and trusting relationship... that's just rude... and I dunno the words for it... but you get it.. It's just.... yea. CHEAP. Like ole My3sons said above me.

I know there are approximately 1 FUCKJILLIAN types of people each with 1 FUCKJILLIAN types of brains and ways of living... but yea... it just sounds cheap. and I'm poor. LOL.

PLUS... on top of all that... SHARING IS COMMON WEEDIQUETTE. For real. You are supposed to share it with your loved ones. lol

Hope my opinions help in any way? If thats possible. :)
 
belligerent drunk said:
You live together, have children together, basically are a family, and he asks for money for cannabis? Does he ask money for the food he buys, or whatever else? It does seem weird to me, I can't imagine myself asking for money from my SO for the drugs I let her use from my stash.
Click to expand...

This +1.

Surely it's 'your' money though? This just not make any sense to me - he wants you to buy weed from him? So you buy x amount and then ask him for the said amount back would he refuse 8(. My money, credit cards are shared - we have each others pin numbers and basically on the day to day stuff couldn't care less.
 
Why don't you go halves?

With my partners, although I could fit the bill for things like food, tickets, going out, I have always found it most beneficial for the relationship to be splitting it between us.

Although I could go with the traditional, old-fashioned concept of "man pays for everything", the times are a changin'.

Within a relationship it develops the behaviour of the woman to be self-dependent and to make a career if she at least pays for some things, if not splitting it in half.

Where this fits into your partner getting you to pay for all his weed, I'm not sure, but I would certainly be splitting the bill with him, if I were you ;)
 
Smokeyblues said:
Kids aren't his, just mine.

I pay him weekly for my half of the monthly bills and we buy our groceries separate. I know that's weird. I buy my own meal if we go out too. I guess I am answering myself here
Click to expand...

wow, he's a douche, he literally doesn't want to subsidise your children at all.
 
So you generally split things in half. If my questions are too personal, no worries, just don't answer them!
Wondering about both of your income. Do you both work? And does one of you make a significant amount more than the other?
 
What a cheap mother fucker. This happened to me too with my high school bf. He was basically telling me to pay for his weed cuz he was a bum. I was never big into weed so I would just say "OK, I'll pass then I don't want any" and he'd get pissed cuz I wouldn't pay lol
 
Me and my long term bf (married in all but name) still keep mostly separate finances, but we don't charge each other in that kinda way.

We have separate bank account, separate money, etc, we've kept it that way since we agreed joint accounts are asking for trouble. Two people together rarely have identical ideas on appropriate use of money, so that inevitably causes fighting. But to also fend off the potential for fighting due to significant mismatch of wealth or income, and to keep our relationship strong, we frequently get eachother unsolicited gifts we know the other one wants, and by having a tendency for the one making more to pay for the others half in shared costs more often. So far that systems worked well for us.
 
Thanks for the replies. No questions are too personal.

My kids are adults, do not live with us. We both work, his income is a bit less than double mine.

Yes, he appears to be a douchebag. Everything is 50/50. I was not bothered at first as my income was higher but due to health reasons have had to cut back. He believes his bills/output should not increase because of me.

The weed thing just struck such a nerve with HIS relative that it made me stop and think.
 
Sorry, but he sounds like a douche. You get sick and he can't take on some of the finances? I know you're not married but wtf?

I'm all about dating/marrying a peer but if he got sick and his income suffered, I wouldn't think twice about chipping in. What happens if you can't work? Is he gonna sit down to a nice steak dinner while you starve? I mean really?
 
Bearlove said:
This +1.

Surely it's 'your' money though? This just not make any sense to me - he wants you to buy weed from him? So you buy x amount and then ask him for the said amount back would he refuse 8(. My money, credit cards are shared - we have each others pin numbers and basically on the day to day stuff couldn't care less.
Click to expand...

I used to have "shared" money too - both knew PINs of both cards etc - with my ex-partner. We would pay for things together, but it just differed by who was paying. For example, today I'd pay for the groceries while she packed them, tomorrow she would pay and I packed them. Or I would always pay for us both when we went out, then she would always pay for something (for us both) else. But we never paid for something "separately" when living together. I don't feel comfortable with that, it makes me feel like living with a roommate not my significant other.

Smokeyblues said:
Thanks for the replies. No questions are too personal.

My kids are adults, do not live with us. We both work, his income is a bit less than double mine.

Yes, he appears to be a douchebag. Everything is 50/50. I was not bothered at first as my income was higher but due to health reasons have had to cut back. He believes his bills/output should not increase because of me.

The weed thing just struck such a nerve with HIS relative that it made me stop and think.
Click to expand...

In the end it's about how YOU feel. Not anyone else. If you had paid no attention to the way things worked financially before someone mentioned it to you, then I see no problem. I wouldn't like such a system with my significant other, but that is me not you. I agree with other posters who say that it's weird and your husband seems like a douchebag, but if you don't feel the same way - ignore us. There really is no need to add problems into a relationship because of others' opinions. This may be a red flag, but you've been together for 10 years, so you must know each other pretty well.

Bottom line, I would not stress over some weed unless it gets bigger. In any case, it's worth talking about it with him, too. Again, neither of you have a problem with your financial system, and he's not blatantly stealing from you, then who gives a fuck?
 
Last edited:
I don't know how to apply to a specific post.

Belligerent drunk. All good points.

I have told him many times it feels very roommate to me.

My income changed just recently and it has changed our way of life. He is unhappy by that.

I was OK with taking care of myself.
I now have reduced income but he wants to continue to live as we did (hobbies, vacation etc).

I have continued to pay him the same weekly for bills so he is not shouldering any additional cost there.

I think if someone isn't willing to financially help me out, even if simply by allowing me to pay him after I return to work, then he can find someone else to suck his dick.
 
Lysis said:
Sorry, but he sounds like a douche. You get sick and he can't take on some of the finances? I know you're not married but wtf?

I'm all about dating/marrying a peer but if he got sick and his income suffered, I wouldn't think twice about chipping in. What happens if you can't work? Is he gonna sit down to a nice steak dinner while you starve? I mean really?
Click to expand...

buying separate groceries is shocking, dont you two eat or cook together? he's not a team player/partner. more like a room mate

If he wont help you when you are in a time of need while relatively young imagine what he would do to you when you are old and your health is failing...
 
Does he really make you pay?

It sounds like you just scored on your own and you are now sharing something you both enjoy.

Maybe ask him to share the cost from time to time? I think this is something you and he should have a conversation about. But, I feel like this is a non issue to you.

The original post reads more like you were surprised by his Brother's reaction to you making a simple purchase.

Life really isn't this complicated, unless you choose to make it so.

I know I've been in both positions over the course of my lifetime: paying for, and not paying for substances shared



I suppose things would seem outrageous if he sent you to the liquor store to buy alcohol with your own money, and he didn't let you drink any of it?

:?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top