Hey Guys lately or no a while not been feeling bit crap on the done, it's 15mg but when i used to take it i felt it a bit, i changed pharmacy looks the same stuff but ever since it just don't feel nothing?, I know Sigma is the distributor, its in suspended solution not like they can skim it, but why the hell do i feel so lousy??? I'ts not a withdrawal lousy its a wake up tired as shit, depressed, tired feeling?. I want that feeling of well being back, when i first went on it some 8years ago. I'ts getting to the point i feel insanely fucked up, and anxiety is horrid.
. Or if it doesnt get better soon i will seek out oxy. That brings me to next topic, i had a car accident in 2005, why don't docs give u breakthrough pain meds??, like Oxy on top of methadone they do in the USA. I feel even 1 of them a day might just perk me up and also help with pain i get now and again, i can get panadene forte but yuk, be ok if i could just get Codiene without that shit in it paracetemol, but i doubt i can get codeine phosphate as its like Oxy these days . My thoughts are extremely fked up too, i mean thinking that the stuff is different in the pharmacy, makes me want to go back to the old pharm, but i like this pharm as nobody is there when i go. So i have to try to rid myself of these thoughts of it being somehow shitty stuff that doesn't work, why else do i feel so crap?.
. The other thing is i gained alot of weight, 115kilos, used to be 86 starting it 8years ago, would that do it?. I just don't know anymore, GP says try anti depressants then i get really angry thinking well i didn't need them before the dose used to take care of that stuff a bit, calm me. Why the hell isnt it calming me now?, I feel antsy alot, on edge, ummmm just effin lousy!..... Ok any thoughts on why it maybe?, i have to do something i cant go another 8months like this???., I'm going to break and try to self medicate or something to feel better, this morning i got up i was so effin tired it wasn't funny, Just a dead weight shit feeling, some days i don't even shower? cuz I am so effin tired i just throw clothes on get coffee, and Jump on the Pc.