I ve lived in Italy and in the Uk and now I live in Brazil, in all these countries meth basically does not exists (even if I m reading here that is hitting the UK atm). I have tried it once ( a freebie from a "generous "Deep web vendor) and hated every second of it, but you never know, I used to despise cocaine and now I m snorting one-two grams per day, probably in this period of my life if meth was as easily available as cocaine is available down here I would do it... everything I know about this drug comes basically from my first and last experience, Breaking Bad and what I read here on BL, it really looks a scary shit, but I m also skeptical of "just say no". I don t wanna argue with you , actually I would like to know more about the subject, what makes you think that meth is so to say "intrinsically evil " and cannot possibly be used responsibly or at least not in a total reckless way? Just curious .
Well, I never said that it cannot be used responsibly. It technically can. What I am saying is that, it feels so damned good, that as the twists and turns life keeps going it can go from a really fun party and sex drug, to the total lord and god of your entire life.
No other drug can touch it in terms of Dopamine boost. I wanna say that coke only raises Dopamine by 150 percent to 200. I wanna say heroin can raise Dopamine by 200 to 300 percent. Dont quote me on those numbers but its in that ball park.
Again, meth at a minimum raises Dopamine by 1500 percent and 4000 percent maximum. It makes every aspect of life feel absolutely AWESOME during the fun "honeymoon" phase. Just a complete blast, almost benevolent feeling. But it can eventually swallow up your entire life. And it can completely erode your mind. IME, people would come up to me and say the things I was thinking and taunt me with my own thoughts. As if I could hear people's personal demons speaking from within them to me in their own voice.
Not to mention Jacking off watching porn for 8 hours straight, which is an intense addiction in and of itself... Until it total ruins your sex drive and you can no longer get a boner at all.
Also, intense paranoia. I mean thinking that the government has implanted chips in your brain, reading your thoughts, outyting camera contact lens in your eyes whenever you do sleep. Having people follow you around seeing them spy on you. Believing that your whole family has been killed and replaced with Reptilian hybrids. Even convinced myself for a while that I was the only entity that truly existed and everyone else was a figment of my imagination; that I was both God and the devil as one in one body. Walking the streets late at night one time and hearing this demonic entity saying "help" in this taunting disingenuous voice and then laughing when I tried to say "whats wrong?" Seeing this black square that was floating in the wind at a cross road in the middle of the night that then hit the ground and shape shifted into a headless "Hellhound." Hearing the devil speak to me on the radio. Being convinced that I had died and was trapped in purgatory. The list goes on and on and on and on.
I've experienced some of the most evil and fucked up things imaginable on that drug. Being utterly convinced that your friends and family are trying to kill you or set you up with a meth lab. People telling you that they are fallen gods who worship "the true holy father, Satan." Being paralyzed in fear all night with chanting whispering all around your head all night.
And you get to the point where you actually begin to enjoy the fear and paranoia. I don't know how to describe it, but you begin to have sick pleasure from obsessing about crazy shit like that. Seeing voodoo witch doctors turning a mason jar of hose water into Black Liquorice liquor, and your gf chanting Satanic voodoo shit laughing evily. And all that crazy evil shit seems realer than real. You become utterly convinced of shit like the Reptilian replacement theory. I was convinced one Christmas that my Dad was trying to kill my Mom.
I used to call it the perfect mixture of fear and pleasure. And no matter how fucked up things get, you feel utterly miserable without the drug. Like bursting into tears for no reason because you are so fucking depressed without it, but as soon as you do it, you are digging in your walls convinced that your drug dealer neighbor planted a shit ton of drugs in your walls so that he can call the cops of you and bust you for 20 years. Fucking completely miserable both on it and off it. It gets to the point where you cannot function at work. I eventually flipped out because everyone was reading my mind and taunting me and I just started throwing 50 lb bags anywhere but the pallet to basically say "fuck yall. Am I doing a good job boss?"
Like I said, I've been addicted to many a drug, but none of them ever took complete control over my life like meth. The rush when you shoot it is so out of this world pleasurable that it literally takes complete control of your life. Your life is nothing but fear and chaos, but with intense pleasure in the midst.
Again, you're miserable both on it and without it. Wanting to jump out in front of a semi truck because your tired of being around all the Reptilian imposters taunting you every day. Being convinced sometimes you're in a simulation.
But it feels so damn good that you can't forget the feeling. I can sometimes think about shooting it and I can almost start to feel the rush. The drug causes INTENSE cravings unlike anything Ive ever had. Heroin and morphine have nothing on the meth cravings, nor dies Crack. Again, once you know what it feels like you cannot unlearn it. You can be using responsibly, but once life takes a turn for the worst, why would you not want to have every single thing feel totally fucking awesome for 12 hours straight? It feels like my brain goes from broken and disjointed to suddenly where I can think of multiple thoughts at once, and endless philosophical thought loops of pleasure and satisfaction. I could day dream but my fantasies felt real like they were going to ine day happen. Not to mention the sex fantasies. And actual sex felt like you were living a sex fantasy or like you were a Porn star. Sex was UNREAL. I'm shaking rn thinking about it and I haven't had the drug in almost a year.
But the thing is, once the honeymoon phase wheres off it never comes back, but yet you still crave it for the rest of your life as if you were still in that phase. Except when you go back you almost immediately return to the fucked up, dark shit that I described.
Back it the day, in the beginning, it was all fun and very little draw back. That WAS the "responsible" phase. No paranoia, no hallucinations, no fear or anxiety. Just pure euphoria and crazy libido boost and pleasurable rambling to people for hours on end. But once it becomes that "perfect mix of fear and pleasure" i discribed after become hooked on it daily IV, it never returns to the pure fun "innocent" honey moon phase. And its so cheap and available that it is hard to get away from, especially when you have those INTENSE cravings.
You are simply better off never knowing what it feels like, because then you don't have a chance of it completely taking over your life. Better safe than sorry because you don't know if you are going to become hooked, and it can happen even if you don't think it will. And once you've opened that flood gate you can never fully shut it. And like I said, once you go back, it immediately goes right back to where you left off in terms of darkness and chaos, at least IME.
It actually didn't seem evil at all back in the day. It was just a pure exhilarating blast. Thats how it gets you. It is nothing but an utter deception. Like I literally shudder at the thought of entering that darkness again; it scares me to my core, yet also excites me. Its such a fucked up and contradictory feeling.
Its like the curtain of reality is pulled up, and you are literally in hell on Earth until you can manage to somehow get back off it. And it takes at least a year for the cravings to become at least bearable. But even at the two year mark (which is the longest I've ever made it) all I have to do is think about using and My hands start shaking my heart racing and I can feel this dark faint euphoria that causes the cravings to come back even harder. I really dont know how to describe it, but I feel like I'll never fully be free from it. Which is scarier now more than ever, because of the risk of Fentanyl cross contamination.
All I can say is just dont try it, and I don't say that about any drug. I mean, I don't necessarily condone ANY drug use, but Meth is the only drug that i will flate out tell folks to just stay the hell away from it, and I've done everything from crack to shooting heroin, to special K to acid and tons of drugs in between.
If you must get geeked on something speedy, just do Adderall. It doesn't have any where near the pull meth can have. And even as a weekend user of meth, you are already becoming hooked, because the only thing you are looking forward to is the weekends with meth. Even rn I want to get geeked up, even though I literally now dispise Methamphetamine. It could just be me, but my advice is to stay the fuck away from it. The pull it has is, I would describe, as almost supernatural. But I would only describe it that way once you've got hooked daily and then try to quit.
I literally feel that I am never going to fully escape this drug, and it's miserable. Coke, even really good coke, just isn't a comparison in terms of pull. Hell, the pull of Crack doesn't even compare. The last time I did crack was in 2017 and I've had it literally in my face 4 or 5 times Since then, and it didn't have the anywhere near the same pull as meth. The only solution for others I can think of is just don't try it. I truly identify with the "Meth bot even once" skogan even though I used to make fun of it back in the "responsible" days. If you don't try it then it won't ruin your life. There is no point. Nothing on Earth is ever going to raise Dopamine to that point (except maybe Flakka, which is even worse) and nothing good can come from knowing that level of Dopamine release. At best, life is never going to compare to when you tried meth, but at worst you risk your life and mind and freedom and practically your soul to the drug; sounds cliche but it is absolutely true in this case. You're better off just not knowing what it feels like, because its like switching on a light that you can never turn off.
There is also a good chance you had something called Isopropylbenzelymine if you did not feel much from the meth. It looks exactly like clean ice and cracks back the same, smokes the same, same melting point, taste, burns the same when snorted, ect. But it has no effects. It was being sold as meth for a while (and probably still is). I used to get it sometimes and it is infuriatingly disappointing. If you did get tweaky but no euphoria it could be MCAT or just shitty quality meth. Or you didn't do enough, or you did not do it "your" way. Personally, smoking it usually doesn't do much for me, but others love it. Many dont like eating it but eating feels almost just like shooting to me minus the IV rush (a rush that will blow your fucking hair back lol) or you may be one of the rare few who just dont feel good from it (which would be something you should consider yourself lucky for, if that is indeed the case). Much much more can be said, but I feel ive said far too much as it is. My point is that it IS intrinsically evil, and the most cunning evil deceives you and convinces you that it is good whenever it as actually indeed evil.
Sorry for any spelling errors I rushed through this and don't really want to read it or talk to much about it
. Did that once all day pure and well your best CRYSTAAAAAL: is this ------2016 Corvette very powerful and fast
Also once brian does burn that chem up not going to get more and thus the addiction- thinking smoking more and more will get that original feeling. Best to always think this even when you feel that original rush I do even when eyes are tingling! Sure many of you like me have had Muscle Lock up usually in the thighs HUH? depletion of probably ATP same thing I di body building and lack of Pottasium or other essential minerals needed for muscle contraction. We are not these machines made to run at 230 mph. Use commons sense and not making any of this up; ok. Be safe be smart .
