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Are your parents racist, and how do you deal with them?

Mora Fiend

Mora Fiend

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
988
I have a problem that is starting to really get to me and I don't really know what to do about it. My parents, espically my mother, are very racist and usually say horrible things about ethnic people. I usually just blow it off and don't really let it get to me, but it's starting to dig in...

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with your parents when they do shit like this? What do you say to them? Do you try to explain to them that what they're saying isn't true and try to teach them that they're wrong? It's really starting to get embarassing, Im really at a loss here, help.
 
Well you cant change your parents. Just let them know that you stand opposed and that it bothers you and maybe eventually they will watch what they say around you. This is what I do at work with this redneck lady that likes to drop the n-bomb.
 
I'm so happy my parents arent racist. My mom is white and my dad is black but I have to deal with so much racism everyday. I remember sitting in my history class in 9th grade and the teacher asked, "how many of your parents would be mad if you dated another race?" Basically everyone but three people raised their hands. Even some of my friends raised their hands. When I first moved to this area in which I am now I was so afraid to go to my friends houses because I wasn't sure if their parents were racist or not...... It took me a lot of time to actually get the guts to walk through some peoples doors..
 
Thanks for the responses guys. I have been dealing with this for a long long time (I am 27 years old) and in the past I have just brushed it off and even laughed at it when I was much younger, but when I got older I realized just how horrible their views were. I come from an Irish family and it seems that they hate anything that isn't white and catholic.

My mother will drop slurs around my friends and then get offended when I call her out on it. It makes me feel bad because I love my mother for all she's done for me, but stuff like that just drives me nuts. It seems like a no-win situation...on one hand I have my own set of morals which doesn't allow stuff like this, and on the other hand I have this racist mother who doesn't listen to me. I guess I just have to keep my mouth shut and deal with it.
 
You can tell her that you find racist slurs to be offensive and disrespectful, and that if she continues to use such language in your presence you'll find somewhere else to hang out. Maybe compare it to insulting the pope to put it in perspective for them.

I'm really sorry to hear this. My personal experience with such things is limited but I have friends who found their parents to be so negative that they had to stop talking to them until the parents change their attitude (which could be never). It sounds very painful and I honestly don't know if I'm giving very good advice...its just one idea of how to deal with the situation.

good luck and peace
 
Start dating a black (or whatever race) girl? It worked for me with my father's comments, though he isn't very racist, just a little harsh with stereotypes...
 
I wouldn't call my parents racist; but they would not be happy what so ever if i was dating a black girl.... If i brought a black girl home as my girlfriend; they wouldn't fancy that idea what so ever...
 
My parents aren't racist at all, but some of my friends/acquaintances unfortunately are. I know quite a few local skinhead gang members who love to use racial slurs and complain about the Asians/Maori/Pacific Islanders here in New Zealand. We've now come to a mutual understanding not to talk about politics or ideologies when we hang out, cos I certainly don't share them and it makes me uncomfortable.
 
My Mother is fine, my Dad is extremely racist.. i had no idea to what extent until recently when i was over-sea's with him, needless to say it's embarrassing to be associated with someone who mutters racial slurs under his breath... yet loud enough for people passing by the hear; i kept thinking someone was going to knock his head in.

I know this has to do with the fact he served in the military and S.A.S and been born during the late 1940's.. most of my life i shrugged it off, as i got older i started pointing it out and called him a 'racist' to which he openly admitted to been. Over the years i've come to accept it's who he is.. he's rather passive so i suppose that's kept him out of trouble, there's a huge gap between me an him so his words an actions haven't really effected me much.

All i can suggest is to just accept them as they are, if your parents are as hard-nosed as my dad.. no advice from anyone younger then them will ever convince them to re-evaluate their views and values.
 
Yep my dad is too, as well as nationalistic, homophobic, class-conscious and a load of other stuff I dislike - when I was younger I would just keep quiet and cringe inwardly whenever he said something that offended my values ("look over there, there isn't a single white person at that bus stop! NOT A SINGLE ONE! What the hell is happening to this country?") until I decided I didn't have to listen to that kind of crap & started engaging him as to why exactly he thought these things...he soon took the hint that he'd either have to be able to rationalise being racist/homophobic/whatever (which he obviously couldn't do) or he'd have to keep his views to himself around me (which he did).

He still refers to the local shop run by Indians as "the Paki" though 8) (as in, "go to the Paki & get some milk") - annoyingly my mum seems to have picked up this particular habit from him subconsciously, despite my constant reminders that they're from India :\
 
my family is not racist but joke around freely .. the little island were im from everyone is SERIOUSLY equal and there are blacks, whites, indians , asians whatever
in cuba white ppl call black ppl black and they dont find it offensive... everyone is the fucking same... only in america do you see this
 
OP - I'm amazed you're not racist yourself dude!! How did you pull that one off?

Unbreakable said:
I wouldn't call my parents racist; but they would not be happy what so ever if i was dating a black girl.... If i brought a black girl home as my girlfriend; they wouldn't fancy that idea what so ever...
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Sounds pretty prejudiced to me, hombre.

Sweet P said:
I know quite a few local skinhead gang members who love to use racial slurs and complain about the Asians/Maori/Pacific Islanders here in New Zealand. .
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Lol they should get off their island then lol...go live somewhere nice N white.

I'm not at all, and neither are my parents - very tolerant as far as race and sexualities go.

My nan is kinda racist though, but not in a horrible way, just inconsiderate and ignorant...but never nasty...so we all just laugh it off and say "oh here she goes" when she talks about "them"... 8)
 
Mora Fiend said:
Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with your parents when they do shit like this? What do you say to them? Do you try to explain to them that what they're saying isn't true and try to teach them that they're wrong? It's really starting to get embarassing, Im really at a loss here, help.
Click to expand...

If you do try to change their mind, do know that's its quite the uphill climb. It's easy to bend and twist a budding plant to mold it to your liking however a century-old redwood is not as easy to manipulate.
 
When you look at it, how many of your parents would think these people are GENETICALLY inferior or different? Few I bet. Negative attitutides to different "races" are more accurately negative attitudes to their CULTURE. Yes its steriotyped but steriotypes exist for a reason.

I think if your life experience has given you mostly negative experience with a particular race and the culture they are attached to then you are within your rights to hold and express whatever views you choose.

If the vast majority of your experience with musliums for example has been negative, then why should you not hold a particular negative view about them? Just because there are some "good" ones? Thats just PC bullshit "lets link hands across the world" nonsense.

You will find people get more "racist" as they get older because they have more experience's that have caused those views. They realise that the whole idiology of multiculturalism is one of convienience, an invention by the government to increase the population for more economic growth, increase division and therefore control of the populus and to reduce wages.

I would never treat an individual differently because of their race but I am comfortable holding negative views in general about islam and musliums because of my profoundly negative experiences in dealing with them.
You should cut your parents a break, they might just understand things better than you think
 
Monkeybizness said:
only in america do you see this
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^only in america do you see what? racism? that statement would be class.


no, my parents are not racist. i try to explain to them that the good fight to preserve our superior genetic lineage is quickly fading, but they're just no that into it.
 
Monkeybizness said:
my family is not racist but joke around freely .. the little island were im from everyone is SERIOUSLY equal and there are blacks, whites, indians , asians whatever
in cuba white ppl call black ppl black and they dont find it offensive... everyone is the fucking same... only in america do you see this
Click to expand...

i find this statement to be uproariously false. show me a 'SERIOUSLY equal' place that isn't North Korea and I'll show you a liar.
 
Let's try to be mindful of the topic at hand.

The question posed for discussion is: Are your parent's racist? and if they are how do you feel about it?

:)
 
My parent's are not, although we do make distinctions between race and culture. We also hold some biases towards most groups--including our own race--based on a lifetime of experience and interactions with those groups.

We are very liberal overall though, and I personally have had many positive friendships and other relationships with many different ethnicities.

Blacks and Caucasians will soon both be numerical minorities in the United States, possibly sometime after 2018. Hispanics and Asians are set to outnumber them by that time if current trends in emigration and children born to those groups nationwide continue.

I look forward to that time and wonder how that may affect our culture and values in the generations to come here in the US.











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Hey thanks for all the responses guys I appriciate the different viewpoints and opinions on how to deal with them. Also I should add a few things:

Sweet P: Not all 'skinheads' are racist, there's actually different sects of skins, traditional skins (many of whom I associate with from going to rock/metal shows) are not racist at all, hell I even know some black traditional skinheads. Trads (the non-racist ones) often refer to the racist ones as 'boneheads', just a little info for ya!

Jblazingphoenix: I was racist until I hit about 16 and started getting into the drug scene and realizing that my preconceptions of ethnic people were just totally wrong and that was further emphasized when I went to prison at 19 and got to know a lot of ethnic individuals personally.

Also I agree with Noodle, the idea of this thread was to find out if your -parents- were racist and what you do about it, not if -you- are racist or whether or not you think it is ok.
 
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