• Philosophy and Spirituality
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Threads of Note Socialize
  • P&S Moderators: Xorkoth | Madness

Are you afraid of death or have you made your peace?

belligerent drunk said:
Not sure if you want hugs from a bearded science maniac, so I'll stick to plain (and boring) advice. Leave them opioids for the rest of the customers, will ya? Believe me, opioid dependence is a bitch, and I imagine you're not deep enough that you can quit (or at least cut your use) now and not suffer any consequences.

And I'll say my anti-family piece again. I never had a family-family. Yes, I had a mother and a father, but to me they were like roommates whom I had to obey. My point is, once you become adult, and you're getting there, you can forge your own family. Get a place, find a woman you love, and start working on building your own family.

I never felt any ties with my father-mother family (where I'm the child), and that's a big anomaly, I know, so maybe I'm missing something here. But I feel great positive emotional feedback and general happiness living with my own family (where I'm the dad). So there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to get there, and in the best possible shape (no drug dependence, good degree or at least work experience and so on).

15 is not the end of the world. It's more like... the time you waste becoming a normal human being (~20+)
Click to expand...

I always accept hugs from bearded men twice my age.

Thanks always for the advice B_D. I'm not addicted or dependent yet, but they are my prescription. I always take a 2 days before dosing again since I'm not trying to become a hopeless addict or anything. I don't abuse entirely because of emotional issues or mental health problems, even though that is the largest reason.

I'm cutting my usage down a bit. I only abuse when I have a prescription. I never take anything from my parents or friends that need them.

I think you've always given me great advice. I was more or less trying to relate with Dixi and Moreaux though.
 
Xorkoth said:
I said it before but I will say it again for emphasis because I feel really strongly about it... you do NOT want to go down the road of opiate dependence. It seems like an easy way to numb the pain... because it is, short-term. But soon you will slip down the slope of addiction and your life will gain a new, tremendous source of pain and guilt and regret and shittiness that is really hard to get out of. You'll realize that as bad as it was before, it's far worse once you're addicted to opiates. All the negatives will be magnified tremendously, and the only way to feel even the normal level of shittiness you feel now is to take opiates every day to avoid withdrawal and emotional imbalance. Hindsight is 20/20, so take it from me and others, who already have that opiate hindsight... it's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it.

It's not worth it. <3



This, also. Age 15-18 is a huge period of becoming yourself (and after too, your 20s are another big part of that but late teen years are the most intense), and that process is uncomfortable for many people, especially thoughtful, intelligent, "different" people. At some point you're going to realize you feel a lot more comfortable being yourself... until then you gotta hang on and try to remember that you're in a hugely transitional and difficult time that will pass.
Click to expand...

You have also always provided me with good advice Xorkoth, and believe me when I say that I'm not trying to get addicted. I get opioids very rarely, so I promise I take advice to heart.

I hope I don't sound like everyone else. I really don't take opioids often, only when it is convienant and if I have some.

I'm starting my Sophmore year in HS. Things are looking pretty good. I get welding certification, driver's license, work permit, everything I need. I'm even shooting for college credit courses.

I don't think I can express in words how much I appreciate both of you guys and I applaud your harm reduction practices, and in helping someone you've only communicated with online.

The whole P&S gang <3
 
Okay, it sounds like you're not in too bad a place, you've just mentioned them a variety of times recently and I tend to have a hard time placing exactly how long ago recent things happened, so it seemed like a lot. Putting a few days between uses is good, you will avoid physical dependence that way. Just be vigilant that you don't slowly decrease the break times.

:)
 
Absolutely! I've been using for a few weeks since I'm going to get my wisdom teeth pulled. I just took my last today, now It will be two weeks before I get anymore.

I'm not too upset, I had enough fun.

I did notice that when I took them today I was unusually short tempered. Hm. And not quite as high as I would have liked.
 
Off topic, but opiates make me very short tempered and irritable- moreso than normal :\. I can't always blame caffeine. But, I will get incredibly sensitive to noise and movement, rapidly furious at anyone trying to blow my buzz :| :D
 
I'm usually not afraid of my own death except when I feel like I am near death but I have some fear of the death of others but it should probably be stronger.
 
I think it is beautiful to learn to accept death as part of life, in practice it doesn't matter whether you are sober and your life is actually threatened, or in an altered state of consciousness that confronts you with your mortality or even convinces you that death is imminent. What matters is how deeply convinced you are that you are about to lose everything. With a pretty fair number of ego-death 'threats' experienced I feel that on the one hand it becomes less dramatic, as if I got used to it.. but this is obviously also a cognitive effect: when you have been through it repeatedly and the actual death still has not come, you involuntarily learn to embrace the eventuality of death rather than the imminent threat.

And that's good: it is healthy to want to fight for your life whenever the threat is convincingly imminent to you, rather than the umpteenth ego-death, which may at some level become engrained as "death, but not really".

As such I think that I as many other trippers veer to and fro with the intensity of ego-death threat, but that I expect it will be harsh as balls when at some point I learn sober that my actual death is nigh, because it will be a level of being convincing that is actually rare, even as far as NDE's go.

Another matter is pain or gain: DMT has liberated me from the fear of death initially, but since then chronic suffering in life has made me reconsider my eventual death in a different way: I'm quite sure that I would be less accepting of death if it had been easier for me to manifest my potential and limit my suffering. I've gained so much already that it makes it easier to feel fulfilled, suffering a lot more can detract from quality of life. All in all, I think it's quite fair to not expect any afterlife. I can be thankful for life and death consoles me as relief.
 
Great post. I've come to basically the same conclusions to this point. When the body begins to fail then things are on a whole new level IMO. When you are young and climbing the mountain all you see is the top. Then at some point after middle age you crest that top and remember the bottom because you now see and feel it clearly as a reality.
 
Last edited:
Why should I be? Death is either the extinguisher of the inherent suffering that is life, or the beginning of a new inconceivable experience.

Fear of death itself would be considered as suffering.
 
No, I believe death is a transcendence from the ego and negativity, so I see it in a positive light. Dying is just a part of being a human being.
 
I also see it in a positive light but when I tried to commit suicide the second time I found I couldn't go through with it out of fear. So while on some level I feel death as a true blessing part of my body and psyche is terrified of losing the "me" that I'm so attached to. On the other hand maybe what I'm afraid of is failing and hurting myself and making life worse than it is now. I mean since I failed once. Death seems like a good deal at the end of a long life. The end of life is so often about disease and disability that I don't know why people want to grow very old.

I saw a very interesting video from Belgium where they have the most liberal euthanasia laws in the world. A girl petitioned for several years for euthanasia due to chronic depression. All she could think about was ending her life. She seemed truly miserable. So after a couple of years they approved her for death and on the day before the event she backed out of it. So there you have it.

One interesting point they made which may have validity was that by allowing her the possibility of euthanasia she relaxed and choose to live. So they claim that making it available actually prevents suicides and improves the quality of life for those who are suicidal because they know they can get help if they need it and so relax and make the best of life they have. Interesting.
 
Last edited:
Great pointers Coamic Trigger. I too don't understand why people want to get extremely old. Their bodies fail and more often than not they become a worry and a burden to their loved ones, so not only are they uncomfortable or in pain in their body, there is also a great amount of guilt for the stress of having their families try to take care of them. Personally, I don't have children. My parents are in their mid seventies, and my husband who is 20 years my senior will soon be sixty. As long as there isn't a freak accident, I will be left alone on this planet.

I have witnessed the aging process with my parents and it is tough. They are active - going to the gym every other day and going out and doing things everyday, but they hate what is happening to their bodies. I hate it too. I will take care of them and my husband to the end, and will hate being alone. However, being alone does give me the freedom to depart when I am ready. I do not want to be in pain and discomfort, nor do I want someone taking care of me because I am no longer capable. When it looks like my life is heading in that direction I will euthanize myself, and that brings me peace.

For so long I have feared dead and have been examining that fear a lot lately. I don't want to die before my loved ones because I don't want them to suffer. Another unexpected aspect of my fear is vanity, I am not ready to let go of my body as death is a huge unknown. I expect that aspect of my fear will diminish with age, when I am no longer as strong and capable as I am now.

I do wish the United States had more options with respect to euthanasia for people. I don't understand the mentality that all suicide is wrong. So many people say suicide is a selfish act, but I think it's just as selfish for everyone else to expect a person to live in a chronic state of pain or misery. We really need to modify our views as a society to be more receptive to euthanasia as an option. We don't allow our beloved pets to suffer, why not extend the same courtesy to our loved ones.
 
Agree. I just ran into a naturopathic doc friend and he told me his uncle had just made use of Oregon's euthanasia laws and got help dying. Personally however I think it should be made available for anyone who wants it for almost any reason.
 
^I'm pleased that he will find a peaceful release. That is the hallmark of a civilised society.

About 18 months ago, my uncle passed away after battling lung cancer (and brain/lymph/everything cancer). He wasn't "euthanised" and he was scared shitless of dying from what he told me. He was a spiritual/mystic hippy guy but it all left him at the end and he was faced with trememdous fear. I feel extra sad for him because he was put into a very Catholic palliative care hostel and ended up dying within 2 days after receiving heaps and heaps of morphine to the point of unconconsciousness. As much as this death was essentially induced and merciful, I felt very uncomfortable visiting his gasping, unconconcious body the night before he died. This didn't feel peaceful or caring, it felt dark and unspoken. We all knew what was happening but no-one could admit that my uncle was being euthanized. We all (still do) pretended it was a natural cessation of respiration, but that did not start until he was on paralytic doses of morphine in a Catholic facility. It seemed sad that his death, which should have been a release from pain and fear and something bittersweet, was actually so covert as to masquerade as genuine medical intervention (legally forced to do this I guess) and became ambiguous and concealed. I hope our society grows out of that. Death is not shameful. Choosing to die is not shameful.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top