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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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/still tapering

I exploded last night over something trivial. Thankfully it wasn't online.

:|
 
got a new card today and so far ive manged to keep it to one 4 loko today, so i think im doing pretty good
 
glitter_kiss said:
got a new card today and so far ive manged to keep it to one 4 loko today, so i think im doing pretty good
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Thats cool Glitter, me a DWE are fighting for you affection!! The angry bastard is practicing and conditioninig himself on vanilla, sais he's got a couple cases... Told you, get a new card. I gots fucked up last night!! BTW Chi ppl, red tape is utter GARBAGE!! They fat but bullshit!!
Angry bastard claims u his ho? Dat tru glitter?
 
phactor said:
Junegreenjeans - What country are you located in? I am very concerned for you right now.
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I'm okay, tough cookie sitting here. They say to not disclose locations but I'm in the mountains of north west, western hemisphere. I'm alright. Appreciate your concern. He's a good man and I know, I know, we protect our men, or partners; it's just I feel i'm becoming a cliche. Never thought i'd become a cliche. I just don't understand why he seems so hell bent on destroying his body and mind with this poison every day, every single day. I don't like crying in the mornings worrying about him. I am concerned that this will go on and on and on and in ten years i'll be a shell of my former self after years of slowly accepting/giving up on his and through his, my own well being as well. He does not want nor acknowledge even that there is a problem. I've even wondered if by leaving him, he'll wake up and better his situation,seek help. But what if I lose him by seemingly giving up on him.
In the morning, well, his morning as he sleeps till afternoon daily, but when he first gets up, he's him again. and for the first few hours I rather enjoy spending time with him. I know he tries to hold back on the beer as long as he can.
Phactor, i'll be alright. I am strong. He picked the right girl to deal with this. At least, I think he did. Maybe i'm not. i don't know. I find myself drinking more since I met him. Drunk more with him these past 3 years than in all my life. Starting to understand how booze interweaves itself into the blood system and yearns to be fed each day. Somethings got to change.

Why? have you experienced something similar? Were you, are you the loved one of one with this disease or are you the one struggling with it yourself? Hope that's not too personal a question. This is the on ly place I can ask for insight. Any would be appreciated. It's helped before.
thanks for you concern and hope this finds you well.
kindly
jgj
 
glitter_kiss said:
got a new card today and so far ive manged to keep it to one 4 loko today, so i think im doing pretty good
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Sorry my reply went sideways...cause i was drinking the watermellon flavor myself!! LOL! They keep saying they're going illegal but I keep finding it everywhere. Glad to hear you got a new card!! Don't go drinking with that angry bastard Drinks With Evil cause I hear he has an insaitiable appetite for vanilla and been practicing...you'll have nothing left. No but all b/s aside, glad to hear some good news. 1 4 loko isn't that bad...
Take care.
 
I drink WAY too much, and I've been TRYING to cut down lately, but I haven't been very successful.

Of course, I don't drink every night, and when I do I don't always get drunk but when I do get drunk I get REALLY drunk.

That said, I'm a hypochondriac, and I keep imagining or thinking I feel slight pressure in my liver and that it means I'm getting liver damage.

But I really can't tell if it's real of not.

Like, this is stupid, but I used to think my liver was lower down on the right side than it actually is, and when I thought it was there I imagined liver pains there haha.

So, now that I know where my liver ACTUALLY is, I think I get slight pressure there, but it's never anything more than SLIGHT pressure that comes and goes.

Do people think I'm imagining liver stress/damage when there is none, and that maybe it's just indigestion or something else?

With me it could be a little from column A and a little from column B but my last checkup with my doctor about 9 months ago nothing serious was wrong so I don't THINK I've done irreversible damage in that time span...
 
Mycophile-Talk to a medical professional. I have had a doctor touch my liver for enlargement, and other things.

Your doctor or a medical professional can order a blood test for your liver as well.

You're posting in this thread, you find it difficult to quit or cut back, and you get out of control when you do drink or get drunk. Good luck.

How much did you drink on your birthday?

When you drink is it more like when you start to drink you can't stop or keep a limit for yourself for the number of drinks you have?

Or is it not like that for you?
 
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I don't know...I looked at my calender since I realized 26 days ago that I needed to cut down on drinking, and it looks like it hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought even though I SAID I wasn't going to have a single sip for 31 days, but I guess you have to start somewhere...

In 26 days I've only actually gotten DRUNK 2 of them (one was my birthday)...but when I did I got COMPLETELY shit faced drunk on extremely excessive amounts.

Out of the other 24 days, I've only had small amounts 4 nights....2 beers and a glass and a half of red wine 3 of them, 2 glasses of red wine another.

So....out of 26 days....2 days getting drunk....4 drinking A LITTLE....6 nights of drinking ANYTHING total....and 20 days total of ZERO alcohol at all.....but the longest I went without a single drink IN A ROW was 8 days.... though I have done FAR better in the past than that.

I guess I could certainly be a lot worse huh??
 
DrinksWithEvil said:
Lol

I'm probably gona go to detox on Monday
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R U serious man? :O If you are I really wish you success bud... and if you're not... I hope I wasn't the one that brought it on, all that talk of tasty extract...I always wanted to go to rehab on Mon. The hangover and the regrets and shit.
In anycase do what you feel is right...
Later man.
 
Still clean and sober! Let a few very close friends know yesterday and all of them were relieved. Basically told me "we were never really comfortable with you starting up again, but we know you too well to tell you not to do it because that just makes you want to do it more" (which is true, I want to prove them wrong... 8( )


Overall I feel very good. Sleep is getting so much better its amazing.
 
junegreenjeans said:
I'm okay, tough cookie sitting here. They say to not disclose locations but I'm in the mountains of north west, western hemisphere. I'm alright. Appreciate your concern. He's a good man and I know, I know, we protect our men, or partners;
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If he is beating you and abusing you he is not a good man. Being fucked up is not an excuse. I worked with DV abusers as clients for years. To be completely honest, you are sounding like a victim of Domestic Violence. Its never okay. Feel free to PM me.

Not trying to offend you or anything, but I have to tell it to you straight up. You are in a very dangerous position right now if what you type is true (and I have no reason to think it isn't).

junegreenjeans said:
Drunk more with him these past 3 years than in all my life.
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Why? Are you trying to "keep up with him"? Please realize this is a very common behavior for people in co-dependent/unhealthy relationships.


In my experience, if you want to be sober you need to get away from this guy. If he is hitting you then he has serious problems. The fact he is doing so while intoxicated makes it more dangerous, not better or okay.

But anyways, it won't be worth anything until you are ready to admit that you are in an abusive relationship.


------------------------

Also, not trying to be an asshole. But lets not glorify the drinking of products on this thread. Its not really the purpose of this specific thread. Drinking "Products" is often a sign of late stage alcoholism.
 
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Hey Phactor. I am not in a physically abusive relationship here nor do I think I've glorified drinking 'products' but if I somehow gave that impression, I apologize.
He has never hit me. Shoved but don't all couples get into a rowl now and then? I lashed a pair of pants at him once and he shoved me, that's the brunt of that. in my opinion, this was fairly harmless and certainly nothing like what other people endure.
He is not a bad person. He is young though and already losing chunks of time. I've looked up and read some books at the library and they say this is common with prolonged usage. His brain is not working as it once did.
What kind of person would I be if I up and left my love when he is down and in so much need of help?

I truly do appreciate your kind concern; truly, I do.

I came here to this site to ask others how they deal with this. Who's in love with one in this type of situation and what does one do to help those who don't want any help?
I'm at a loss here.
He is my friend and my man. I am built to last and do not take this union lightly. What would you do if your love was killing themselves a little bit every day? Hm? what would you do?
 
junegreenjeans said:
Hey Phactor. I am not in a physically abusive relationship here nor do I think I've glorified drinking 'products' but if I somehow gave that impression, I apologize.
He has never hit me. Shoved but don't all couples get into a rowl now and then? I lashed a pair of pants at him once and he shoved me, that's the brunt of that. in my opinion, this was fairly harmless and certainly nothing like what other people endure.
He is not a bad person. He is young though and already losing chunks of time. I've looked up and read some books at the library and they say this is common with prolonged usage. His brain is not working as it once did.
What kind of person would I be if I up and left my love when he is down and in so much need of help?

I truly do appreciate your kind concern; truly, I do.

I came here to this site to ask others how they deal with this. Who's in love with one in this type of situation and what does one do to help those who don't want any help?
I'm at a loss here.
He is my friend and my man. I am built to last and do not take this union lightly. What would you do if your love was killing themselves a little bit every day? Hm? what would you do?
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First, I never suggested you were glorifying products.

Second, you ended a post stating "I have to stop typing, he is coming" or something along those lines. Why does he get to control your internet access by his presence?

As for your loving killing himself, I hate to tell this to you, but you are likely making it worse. Try to do a little research on "enabling". Also, physical violence (even if its just pushing/shoving) is not okay. Drinking with him, staying with him etc etc is likely just making his use worse.

God knows I treated my loved ones like shit. I wasn't physically violent, but if I could manipulate them or lie to them when it came to my use I did. I kept doing this until it got so bad that it was extremely obvious. Then the disappointment and anger at me started all over again only worse. Why? Because I had given them false hope again.

Anyways, I am here whenever. I am not going to debate this with you though. This is something you need to work out on your own terms. I am here though. I also may be able to direct you to resources if you need them (that is why I asked location). I still have lots of contacts from my days when I worked with DV Victims and Perps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvtCfhYeZz4

Enabling... putting this bluntly... if you continue to do this you could actually end up helping to kill him. I say this with a sad heart and honestly mean no offense.

So not only do I have experience with DV, more importantly I am an alcoholic/addict myself. I know some of what he is going through. I wasn't ready to get serious until people stopped enabling me and even then it took me a long time to come to terms with my addiction myself. Do you think you are an addict?
 
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Phacto,
Fair enough but I must correct you on one little thing if i may. Your sentence and response "As for your loving killing himself" ? No no, I said "what would you do if your love (meaning, the 'one' you love) was killing himself a little bit every day? I wasn't implying that I loved him killing himself as your response made it seem; though, if I got that wrong I apologize.
anyway, I pm'd you before I got here now.

your wisdoms are respected. and no, I do not understand the level of addiction he is enduring

hope your well
and genuinely,
thank you
 
junegreenjeans said:
Phacto,
Fair enough but I must correct you on one little thing if i may. Your sentence and response "As for your loving killing himself" ? No no, I said "what would you do if your love (meaning, the 'one' you love) was killing himself a little bit every day? I wasn't implying that I loved him killing himself as your response made it seem; though, if I got that wrong I apologize.
anyway, I pm'd you before I got here now.

your wisdoms are respected. and no, I do not understand the level of addiction he is enduring

hope your well
and genuinely,
thank you
Click to expand...

When I use and drink I am literally committing slow suicide.. piece by piece, day by day. That was what I was getting at.

Also, think of how great your relationship could be if he gets help and cleans up? Allow yourself to dream a little about it.

I am here whenever, have a great day.
 
<<<keep my pimphand strong!!! LOL! I always blame everything on being fucked up...(it doesn't work?)Hey, Phactor..."whenever?" dude I've been PMing you cause I need counsiling! Happy to hear about you doing well man. I slipped up the whole week man, that's why I didn't even want to come on and say shit in here. Been talking alot of shit on Chi heroin thread though...people are probably confused.
 
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itchyscratchy said:
<<<keep my pimphand strong!!! LOL! I always blame everything on being fucked up...(it doesn't work?)Hey, Phactor..."whenever?" dude I've been PMing you cause I need counsiling! Happy to hear about you doing well man. I slipped up the whole week man, that's why I didn't even want to come on and say shit in here. Been talking alot of shit on Chi heroin thread though...people are probably confused.
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I haven't seen any PMs recently. I am here whenever.

Basically, I really really really had to accept that I am an addict and believe it to my innermost self. This means I cannot use drugs today and in order to do so I have to do whatever it takes to not use. For me, that requires a ton of work.

Anyways, the meeting I was at was an AA meeting but I'd say at least 50 percent of the people also admitted they had issues with dope as well. I also saw a drug deal going down on the way home, it was past 10 and there were kids in the car. :(
 
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