adrenalinerushes
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Accidentally Opened My Third Eye While Doing Nitrous and Got Possessed by (Demon?)
- Thread starter lyricabuddy
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Erikmen
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Whatever it takes..
yepyepwoah
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it confuses me how so many people on a psychedlic forum blow off spiritual implications of substance use...
SEEDofLIFE
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Interesting discussion. I think you pushed the nos way to fucking hard. There's a reason they call it "hippie crack". It's possible you opened your third eye, but you didn't get fucking possessed by a devil through a spiritual chakra vortex. Your chakras, including your third eye have always been there, and doing drugs doesnt necessarily open them for harm... maybe open them for teaching and learning. Which may have happened, you said you knew something was trying to, "get you to stop" but you DIDN'T. Your own subconscious played with your head and fucked you into psychosis, which created visuals and sensations that went along with your paranoia about being possessed. Stop doing whip it's. Your not broken, but you've obviously had an appiphany.
It saddens me that psychedelic use is automatically linked with spirituality in many people's minds. This is part of why psychedelics remain illegal and maligned by many. Psychedelics are chemicals that affect the brain. It's beautiful, powerful, and useful, but there's literally zero evidence that it's anything other than chemistry and psychology. People are free to believe whatever they want, but when someone's mental health is on the line I feel like the smartest and most ethical response is to stick with the science and logic.
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lyricabuddy
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Thank you @ Nateup & Adrenaline, and everyone else for your support and insight.
I actually agree with the quote above. Initially there was a fear factor that had me in a mentally unstable state and had me questioning whether or not there was something "more" going on besides simply the explanation stated above and by a couple other posters here. I'm not going to lie, ever since childhood, I was raised in a strict Catholic household so I believe to some extent there was a "seed" planted in my head that that led me to even considering the possibility of possession, even though I'm currently actually very anti-religious. Like I said, my fear was that there was something more (possibly another dimension) fucking with me, not necessarily a religious type of possession. I didn't mean to make such of a big deal out of the religious aspect as obviously it was such a hot button here on this forum.
My strong suspicion / intuition was actually that it was my own subconscious combined with an extremely dissacociated state led to an "explosion" of an acute psychosis hallucination, but the ongoing feelings in my head were pretty unsettling to say the least.
The MRI and brain wave scans showed no abnormalities and this was WHILE I was experiencing these strange feelings in my head. I also paid attention to my overall mood while I was experiencing these feelings and I didn't really feel different at all.
Thanks to a lot of your insights, I was able to get past the idea of possession and not feel "broken" where as without actually getting the brain scans and getting your insights I might have actually gone on thinking I was possessed for who knows how long and that would have really dragged me down, made me feel defeated, and prevented any positive progress.
^I'm glad things seem to have come out OK.
I've got to say after reading through this that if you're possessed by any demon it's one that's self-destructive and obstinately willful to the point of spite (A.K.A. addiction), and it's had its claws in you since before this nitrous experience.
Witness: an addiction's attitude (excerpted from multiple posts) :
It's hard to tell which self is in charge, which is doing the talking, and whether they agree that one another exist when you get as far out as that much nitrous took you. You seem profoundly disposed to addiction, which means you're one of those people that isn't likely to get more good out of drugs than harm. You should quit all use and abuse. You seem together enough to live a good but regrettably drug and alcohol free life if you want to. There's worse fates than healthy sobriety, dude.
I've got to say after reading through this that if you're possessed by any demon it's one that's self-destructive and obstinately willful to the point of spite (A.K.A. addiction), and it's had its claws in you since before this nitrous experience.
Witness: an addiction's attitude (excerpted from multiple posts) :
Consider that the “something or some thought” you didn't want to control “you” because of your right to do whatever you want was, in fact, YOU, and that the one dismissing visions of dynamite going off inside its brain in order to motivate more nitrous consuming behavior was the nitrous ADDICTION. You should be suspicious of your own motives when you believe you shouldn't be controlled by "negativity and voices" when those abrasive voices are telling you to do something quite sensible like stop consuming extremely high quantities of an inhalant.lyricabuddy said:
It's hard to tell which self is in charge, which is doing the talking, and whether they agree that one another exist when you get as far out as that much nitrous took you. You seem profoundly disposed to addiction, which means you're one of those people that isn't likely to get more good out of drugs than harm. You should quit all use and abuse. You seem together enough to live a good but regrettably drug and alcohol free life if you want to. There's worse fates than healthy sobriety, dude.
lyricabuddy
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"You should be suspicious of your own motives when you believe you shouldn't be controlled by "negativity and voices" when those abrasive voices are telling you to do something quite sensible like stop consuming extremely high quantities of an inhalant."
Let me first say that I agree with everything you've said about the addiction aspect. I'm not in denial that I'm addicted to nitrous. I really learned to like it, a lot, more than most people on here would understand. The addiction factor is indistinguishable from how people would be addicted to harder drugs, minus the physical withdrawals.
I wanted to respond to your post because I feel like you might be to some degree misunderstood about the fact that nitrous as an "inhalant" equating to other inhalants in terms of physical harm in any way whatsoever. There's no proof at all that a hit of nitrous is any more harmful than simply holding your breath for that amount of time.
What I was referring to is that I wasn't, and still am not convinced to the degree of actual physical harm resulting from nitrous use, even in "large" amounts. I've had a couple of times where I was for lack of better words "depressed" and went on huge binges - I'm talking 10 - 12 boxes per day for up to 4 days straight and suffered zero symptoms of physical harm during or afterwards.
Many of you seem to be under the assumption that because this happened it must be because I experienced physical harm or damage. At that point I was only doing 3-4 boxes like 3X per week. It's really inconclusive how much physical harm this actually causes, relatively speaking. For example no one can really say with any certainty if 3 boxes of chargers is any more harmful than drinking say a couple beers? It's really all speculation.
Now, I can understand how chronic use of nitrous will cause b12 depletion and that can lead to damage over time, but I'm suggesting it would take a lot more nitrous use than what I was actually using to incur any serious physical harm issues. Outside of a few episodes, I've always had a job, so I've been limited to using nos only on the weekends and occasionally after work, but not more than a couple boxes.
What I was suggesting is that I believed, and still do, that the symptoms I was experiencing in my head were purely manifestations of a negative physical mind-frame, and this was somewhat confirmed by the fact that there were no issues with the MRI and all the other brain wave tests that were done shortly after the incident. That said, I didn't wan't to be controlled by what I thought was a bad trip. Just like I'm sure many of you have had bad trips, you would try to stay out of the mindset that something is "broken" in you and start letting yourself be controlled by negative thoughts and feelings, correct? Especially when you are using a psychedellic that's known to have a very low physical harm profile.
I'm not trying to say that nitrous is harmless, in fact I've actually gained a lot more respect to the degree of psychological harm that can result since the incident. Simply being addicted to anything and feeling depressed when you don't have it is psychologically harmful in itself. But again, in terms of the "how much nitrous is too much?" question in terms of actual physical harm, I'm not convinced I was putting myself in any serious danger, and again I think there's too much speculation to say with any degree of certainty how much I was actually harming myself.
Let me first say that I agree with everything you've said about the addiction aspect. I'm not in denial that I'm addicted to nitrous. I really learned to like it, a lot, more than most people on here would understand. The addiction factor is indistinguishable from how people would be addicted to harder drugs, minus the physical withdrawals.
I wanted to respond to your post because I feel like you might be to some degree misunderstood about the fact that nitrous as an "inhalant" equating to other inhalants in terms of physical harm in any way whatsoever. There's no proof at all that a hit of nitrous is any more harmful than simply holding your breath for that amount of time.
What I was referring to is that I wasn't, and still am not convinced to the degree of actual physical harm resulting from nitrous use, even in "large" amounts. I've had a couple of times where I was for lack of better words "depressed" and went on huge binges - I'm talking 10 - 12 boxes per day for up to 4 days straight and suffered zero symptoms of physical harm during or afterwards.
Many of you seem to be under the assumption that because this happened it must be because I experienced physical harm or damage. At that point I was only doing 3-4 boxes like 3X per week. It's really inconclusive how much physical harm this actually causes, relatively speaking. For example no one can really say with any certainty if 3 boxes of chargers is any more harmful than drinking say a couple beers? It's really all speculation.
Now, I can understand how chronic use of nitrous will cause b12 depletion and that can lead to damage over time, but I'm suggesting it would take a lot more nitrous use than what I was actually using to incur any serious physical harm issues. Outside of a few episodes, I've always had a job, so I've been limited to using nos only on the weekends and occasionally after work, but not more than a couple boxes.
What I was suggesting is that I believed, and still do, that the symptoms I was experiencing in my head were purely manifestations of a negative physical mind-frame, and this was somewhat confirmed by the fact that there were no issues with the MRI and all the other brain wave tests that were done shortly after the incident. That said, I didn't wan't to be controlled by what I thought was a bad trip. Just like I'm sure many of you have had bad trips, you would try to stay out of the mindset that something is "broken" in you and start letting yourself be controlled by negative thoughts and feelings, correct? Especially when you are using a psychedellic that's known to have a very low physical harm profile.
I'm not trying to say that nitrous is harmless, in fact I've actually gained a lot more respect to the degree of psychological harm that can result since the incident. Simply being addicted to anything and feeling depressed when you don't have it is psychologically harmful in itself. But again, in terms of the "how much nitrous is too much?" question in terms of actual physical harm, I'm not convinced I was putting myself in any serious danger, and again I think there's too much speculation to say with any degree of certainty how much I was actually harming myself.
I understand why, given the bluntness of my quoted reply, you may think I'm lumping in nitrous with hydrocarbon inhalants like gasoline unfairly. However, my wording was simply a rhetorical choice. Indeed, there is some reason to believe that even the psychoactive ingredient in some formulations of the notorious "duster" may not be all that dangerous in itself. Ether too is less dangerous. Likewise, there is little evidence to suggest NO2 is neurotoxic at levels of exposure comparable to a few whippits at a party. But that reassurance does not extend to the sorts of prolonged exposure to NO2 without pure oxygen mixing (like in anesthetic contexts) you very well may have brought upon yourself by polishing off three boxes in a row. In such a case a single long exposure can be enough (chronic use unnecessary). The mechanism of damage is hypoxia as a result of the displacement of oxygen by NO2.
Link to full text
Debate about the degree of a compound's dangers does not provide a defensible rationale for unfettered use. The absence of evidence for a danger is not evidence of danger's absence. The evidence of danger came from yourself. As chaotic as the various images that crop up in our dreams often are, dream symbology is clearly sometimes meaningful to specific contexts of our lives. So when your subconscious mind spontaneously evokes a waking dream of dynamite lodged in your brain in the context of what you are impressed to feel is a mortal choice, that's an indication that a survival alarm really is going off. Despite popular belief, it's not all confetti of the imagination and the detritus of drugs that we see when we trip. I think you mostly get this, but I'm writing for you as well as anybody else who may visit the thread.
Also, an fMRI is merely a way of displaying the concentration of iron atoms as statistical averages of the flow of hemoglobin relative to concentrations in other areas of the brain. As much as it's paraded out as a symbol of the power of neuroscientific inquiry, it's really a blunt tool that will only pick up profound damage in localized areas. It's possible to suffer crippling brain damage without fMRI ever providing an indication of what's happened. The fact that you experienced ongoing perceptual disturbances is a much stronger indication that some sort of damage was incurred, or imbalance sustained.
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lyricabuddy
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Thanks for the thoughtful reply and point well taken. There seems to be a lot of pertinent info in the article but unfortunately most of the terminology is over my head so my comprehension is insufficient to make any judgments with confidence.
Just from an intuitive standpoint, considering the addictive potential of nitrous (like others have said there's a reason they call it "hippie crack") and the fact that it's readily available and legal, it would be safe to assume that there are many nitrous addicts out there that use even more than I did. Chances are there's a segment that use it all day every day, or almost every day. You would think that there would be more cases and overall exposure online of people getting seriously physically harmed online, wouldn't you? For example, look at how widespread harm prevention exposure there is online for meth, because the degree of physical harm is so extreme... That being said, I'm led to believe that psychological harm with nitrous far precludes any physical harm, but like you said, you can't be sure. Of course with any drug that gets you high, there's always going to be a risk, but from a relative standpoint, I think the degree of physical harm is most likely far less than what most people would think.
I think this is partly a result of chronic nitrous use isn't very common. People with no tolerance take a few hits and experience such an extreme high they can't fathom how you could possibly go through more than a couple boxes. I can say from experience that just like with any drug, tolerance can build to the point where it takes successive hits just to get to the same level that one hit used to. Just like people with no tolerance to benzos and get annihilated of 1mg of xanax cant fathom how people can drop 8 mg with little to no effect.
Just from an intuitive standpoint, considering the addictive potential of nitrous (like others have said there's a reason they call it "hippie crack") and the fact that it's readily available and legal, it would be safe to assume that there are many nitrous addicts out there that use even more than I did. Chances are there's a segment that use it all day every day, or almost every day. You would think that there would be more cases and overall exposure online of people getting seriously physically harmed online, wouldn't you? For example, look at how widespread harm prevention exposure there is online for meth, because the degree of physical harm is so extreme... That being said, I'm led to believe that psychological harm with nitrous far precludes any physical harm, but like you said, you can't be sure. Of course with any drug that gets you high, there's always going to be a risk, but from a relative standpoint, I think the degree of physical harm is most likely far less than what most people would think.
I think this is partly a result of chronic nitrous use isn't very common. People with no tolerance take a few hits and experience such an extreme high they can't fathom how you could possibly go through more than a couple boxes. I can say from experience that just like with any drug, tolerance can build to the point where it takes successive hits just to get to the same level that one hit used to. Just like people with no tolerance to benzos and get annihilated of 1mg of xanax cant fathom how people can drop 8 mg with little to no effect.
lyricabuddy
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I assure you I'm not I wrote that last post on 1200mg Lyrica which is probably why you got that vibe
adrenalinerushes
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SEEDofLIFE
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Thanks man
Thanks dude, I know you will turn out fine.
I've seen too many people become insanely fried from NOS and of course it's possible to have severe hallucinations. Even the first few times I tried it, I experienced that "humming" noise you described, and the visuals made me feel like I too was in a different dimension.
In the end it's not the drug that is powerful, but our thoughts and our mind set when we take them.
I think your past being raised in a religious family may have played a role in your demon ideas, even if you are not religious now. It's what we remember when we were very young that can inevitably surface while we are tripping.
I trust you'll be fine, seeing that you are replying and taking all of our constructive criticism with a grain of salt.
Thanks dude, I know you will turn out fine.
I've seen too many people become insanely fried from NOS and of course it's possible to have severe hallucinations. Even the first few times I tried it, I experienced that "humming" noise you described, and the visuals made me feel like I too was in a different dimension.
In the end it's not the drug that is powerful, but our thoughts and our mind set when we take them.
I think your past being raised in a religious family may have played a role in your demon ideas, even if you are not religious now. It's what we remember when we were very young that can inevitably surface while we are tripping.
I trust you'll be fine, seeing that you are replying and taking all of our constructive criticism with a grain of salt.
Kinda late but here is my little possession story. I was on MDMA and decided to take some DMT, the synergy with these 2 is awsome. I feel too much anxiety from DMT alone, but with MDMA I can take big hits and enjoy it alot. So this time, I was sitting on my bed looking at a large drawing I made, mostly some abstract art that almost looked like some kind of dragon in it. Anyway, a great thing to look at when you take psychedelic
So I take 3 big hits, and the drawing starts to go swirling, melting, dancing almost. And I can feel myself flying away from it. Like my perception, my vision was getting thrown away and the drawing was now "far away". (im french so bare with me)... What actually happened was just me slowly lying on the bed, on my back, I think. Then something weird happened. I never saw any entities on DMT, just beautiful visuals, both with opened and closed eyes. Once I felt like I was an embryo in a uterus, but nothing more. So this time, I still didn't see any entity, but instead, I felt one. I became one. My body was getting possessed by something. I still had my head pretty clear. I could think and I was like wtf is going on here. But I couldn't control my body at all at this point. The entity seemed really curious and was looking everywhere in my room. Then it started to want to move around but didn't really know how to. In a very strange way, it got out of the bed, my legs in weird position, exorcism style. I could see all it sees and I could analyze what was going on, but no control on my body. So it was then like crawling on the floor, not really knowing how my legs work. Then It got up, and started walking. One foot before the other, slowly, a bit like a bird walk. Also, my neck was going forward and backward while doing each step, still like a bird would do. And my arms were stiff behind me, my fingers twisted together. I felt all the awkwardness of my body, but couldn't do a thing about it.
So It started walking and exploring. It didn't have any thoughts, well not that I could "hear", so It didn't talk at all. But It kept using my tongue to lick my lips, a bit like a lizard, not really a bird this part. I wasn't terrified, MDMA puts you in this mood with no anxiety whatsoever (for me), but I wasn't enjoying it either. I was mystified, I had never heard or saw or felt anything like this before. A bit scared that it would stay in me, but at the same time I could reason myself and knew it would go away after the DMT effects. It had to...
It wanted to go out of my room but didn't know how. So at this point, the thing knew I was also in there and it let me take a bit of control on my body, like now I could use my right arm to open the door, but my neck and my legs were still theirs. The way it was walking, just, wow, I can't even reproduce it today.
So it went out, explore, at one point it looked at the mirror, and I saw myself. It was very awkward, it wasn't me looking in the mirror, but I could see. The entity didn't really care about what it looked like, I think it knew it was in my body and just wanted to enjoy the time and see the world. It seemed very curious, almost afraid. But wasn't just reflecting what I was feeling ? Like a duality thing ? Maybe, but that doesn't explain the way it moved around. It wasn't human at all.
I called my best friend to tell her what was going on with me (I was alone). So I could barely talk at this point (I couldn't before). It was still walking around the apartment, while I was describing this to my friend. I had no words. I told her not to believe me, cuz I wouldn't believe someone telling me this. Like I wouldn't believe your story lyricabuddy... but who cares, we can't believe things we never felt or never even knew could exist. Still, it happened, it was real. Usually on DMT, I lose my cognition, I can't think really for the duration, but this time was very different. I was still clear thinking. Just this entity controlling me.
After about 20-30 minutes, the entity was losing its power on me and I could take back my body more. My tongue was still licking my lips randomly. Oh I forgot to tell how it was drinking water. I kinda "ordered" it to go drink at the sink, I or It was thirsty, I could tell. So it went, let the water flow, then proceeded to drink like an animal, with its, my tongue, saping the water. All I could think was "right, what was I expecting ?". So after a while, it went away. I started to make some research and ended up here.
Here's the thing. At first I really felt like I had an entity possessing me. It was so real. I do auto-hypnosis when I take mescaline or lsd, and it works great. I was able to make some changes in my life like eating mushrooms, regular....not magic. I was always disgusted by shrooms before. Anyway, point is I strongly believe that our brain is something very powerful, complex, weird, and tricky. Did I just hypnotized me ? I didn't try to at least. But guess what, after some thinking, I reread my story and the first thing was "i was looking at my drawing, a dragon"... a dragon ! Was it a bird or a dragon ? felt like a bird, and a lizard.. so makes sense now. I think what happened is that I hypnotized myself just by watching an abstract drawing that my brain knew looked like a dragon. Didn't need words or intention or thinking. The subconscious did all the job and convinced my brain to be a "bird/dragon". It convinced itself alright because I couldn't tell at all that this entity was in fact still me. I mean, I knew from the start that it didn't came from somewhere else, I knew it was from deep inside me, but it got me thinking for a bit that we could had some "alien" entity, demons ? angels ? ancient animals ? I believed it for a while, it had to, it made sense and I couldn't explain it any other way. But then my rational side finally put all the pieces together and no "alien" entity, just my brain tricking me !
Be safe with psychedelic, you never know what to expect and never know when it will be just 2 much for you.
So I take 3 big hits, and the drawing starts to go swirling, melting, dancing almost. And I can feel myself flying away from it. Like my perception, my vision was getting thrown away and the drawing was now "far away". (im french so bare with me)... What actually happened was just me slowly lying on the bed, on my back, I think. Then something weird happened. I never saw any entities on DMT, just beautiful visuals, both with opened and closed eyes. Once I felt like I was an embryo in a uterus, but nothing more. So this time, I still didn't see any entity, but instead, I felt one. I became one. My body was getting possessed by something. I still had my head pretty clear. I could think and I was like wtf is going on here. But I couldn't control my body at all at this point. The entity seemed really curious and was looking everywhere in my room. Then it started to want to move around but didn't really know how to. In a very strange way, it got out of the bed, my legs in weird position, exorcism style. I could see all it sees and I could analyze what was going on, but no control on my body. So it was then like crawling on the floor, not really knowing how my legs work. Then It got up, and started walking. One foot before the other, slowly, a bit like a bird walk. Also, my neck was going forward and backward while doing each step, still like a bird would do. And my arms were stiff behind me, my fingers twisted together. I felt all the awkwardness of my body, but couldn't do a thing about it.
So It started walking and exploring. It didn't have any thoughts, well not that I could "hear", so It didn't talk at all. But It kept using my tongue to lick my lips, a bit like a lizard, not really a bird this part. I wasn't terrified, MDMA puts you in this mood with no anxiety whatsoever (for me), but I wasn't enjoying it either. I was mystified, I had never heard or saw or felt anything like this before. A bit scared that it would stay in me, but at the same time I could reason myself and knew it would go away after the DMT effects. It had to...
It wanted to go out of my room but didn't know how. So at this point, the thing knew I was also in there and it let me take a bit of control on my body, like now I could use my right arm to open the door, but my neck and my legs were still theirs. The way it was walking, just, wow, I can't even reproduce it today.
So it went out, explore, at one point it looked at the mirror, and I saw myself. It was very awkward, it wasn't me looking in the mirror, but I could see. The entity didn't really care about what it looked like, I think it knew it was in my body and just wanted to enjoy the time and see the world. It seemed very curious, almost afraid. But wasn't just reflecting what I was feeling ? Like a duality thing ? Maybe, but that doesn't explain the way it moved around. It wasn't human at all.
I called my best friend to tell her what was going on with me (I was alone). So I could barely talk at this point (I couldn't before). It was still walking around the apartment, while I was describing this to my friend. I had no words. I told her not to believe me, cuz I wouldn't believe someone telling me this. Like I wouldn't believe your story lyricabuddy... but who cares, we can't believe things we never felt or never even knew could exist. Still, it happened, it was real. Usually on DMT, I lose my cognition, I can't think really for the duration, but this time was very different. I was still clear thinking. Just this entity controlling me.
After about 20-30 minutes, the entity was losing its power on me and I could take back my body more. My tongue was still licking my lips randomly. Oh I forgot to tell how it was drinking water. I kinda "ordered" it to go drink at the sink, I or It was thirsty, I could tell. So it went, let the water flow, then proceeded to drink like an animal, with its, my tongue, saping the water. All I could think was "right, what was I expecting ?". So after a while, it went away. I started to make some research and ended up here.
Here's the thing. At first I really felt like I had an entity possessing me. It was so real. I do auto-hypnosis when I take mescaline or lsd, and it works great. I was able to make some changes in my life like eating mushrooms, regular....not magic
. I was always disgusted by shrooms before. Anyway, point is I strongly believe that our brain is something very powerful, complex, weird, and tricky. Did I just hypnotized me ? I didn't try to at least. But guess what, after some thinking, I reread my story and the first thing was "i was looking at my drawing, a dragon"... a dragon ! Was it a bird or a dragon ? felt like a bird, and a lizard.. so makes sense now. I think what happened is that I hypnotized myself just by watching an abstract drawing that my brain knew looked like a dragon. Didn't need words or intention or thinking. The subconscious did all the job and convinced my brain to be a "bird/dragon". It convinced itself alright because I couldn't tell at all that this entity was in fact still me. I mean, I knew from the start that it didn't came from somewhere else, I knew it was from deep inside me, but it got me thinking for a bit that we could had some "alien" entity, demons ? angels ? ancient animals ? I believed it for a while, it had to, it made sense and I couldn't explain it any other way. But then my rational side finally put all the pieces together and no "alien" entity, just my brain tricking me !Be safe with psychedelic, you never know what to expect and never know when it will be just 2 much for you.
I used to binge on DXM and get really similar warnings about the damage I was doing to my brain.
Not quite as elaborate, very similar though.
Like just saying'.
psy997
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Don't dismiss it so easily, see someone who knows about energy attachments.