Somebody here is actually sympathetic
...well, maybe just the 'pathetic part without the 'sym' but I'll continue nonetheless.
With your post count on BL forums, you've clearly got the 'measure' of many of the regulars and one-off contributors here.
I can't say whether you did something that was flat out wrong, or not. Why? Because for every single post like this, there'll be someone with and without an affinity for amphetamine derivatives such as adderall that takes 60,80 160mg etc. and reports 'the greatest buzz since I graduated', or, 'Fuck yes - This is going to be a repeat performance'. Replies? "Man, I gotta get me some fucking adderall", or, "shit - ritalin aint bad but now I think it's time to whine to my psych about lack of beneficial effects".
The difference with your submission, was that you put yourself on the line, the whole warts an' all post with every emotion laid bare for all readers to see. *I* for one, appreciate someone who values content, however longwinded (not in my eyes - fuck trying to be succint, I want the full facts thankyou).
Sure, you made a pleathora of sweeping statements that don't necessarily ring true for many, perhaps no hardcore users but at the same time, you were typing off the back of an experience that had such a huge impact on yourself - you recorded a moment in time of your life and whilst reading your words, I wished I'd have been there during the hellacious experience you had and been able to hold your hand and talk you down.
These are open forums where people are supposed to post thought-provoking debate, not pander to others' potential for criticism. You practically threw disclaimer after disclaimer into the subtext of your writing, yet almost everyone jumped on you for what you'd done, along with those who negated many of the positives that result from such a post.
Only you can decide where you go from here but for fucks sake - don't go back to adderall. Psychosomatic symptoms deserve the same degree of reverence as physically derivative ones, hell, the interpreter is the same - your brain, who will gladly contribute to it's degree of panic if it's stimulant addled state feels the need to.
Check your PM.