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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

60mg Adderall (first) - The Highest I Have Ever Been - Thought I was going to die.

I used to be prescribed 80mg Adderall IR. I'd save them up and take up to like 320mg at a time. Ain't nothin' for someone who was smoking several grams of meth in one sitting. But...I don't use amphetamines anymore; they ruined my life. I love them, but oh,well. I know I can't use them like anyone else. It's that simple. And, the comedown is terrible. I think that, upon reflection, adderall is a shitty drug, with all that stupid racemic and levo-amps. Only 25% of it is dexamp, which is one of the greatest drugs ever. Dexedrine, or if instant release is your thing, DextroStat. It's barely got a comedown, and it's all brain speed, no body clenching craziness. Damn, I'm sick as hell and rambling and I need more sleep. Again.
 
Beenhead said:
Sorry for the double post, but MGS is right. People dont have to say their age. We can tell by the way youre acting. Like a defensive child.
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Whatever, even if I was 12 you shouldn't judge a person by their age.
 
Leaving forum. Call me a pussy or baby, whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Almost all of you are a bunch of unsupportive asswipes.

BTW, morninggloryseed, I can tell what a great career your going to have being a psychotherapist after your sarcasm filled, jackass statements made in this thread.
 
Somebody here is actually sympathetic

...well, maybe just the 'pathetic part without the 'sym' but I'll continue nonetheless.

With your post count on BL forums, you've clearly got the 'measure' of many of the regulars and one-off contributors here.


I can't say whether you did something that was flat out wrong, or not. Why? Because for every single post like this, there'll be someone with and without an affinity for amphetamine derivatives such as adderall that takes 60,80 160mg etc. and reports 'the greatest buzz since I graduated', or, 'Fuck yes - This is going to be a repeat performance'. Replies? "Man, I gotta get me some fucking adderall", or, "shit - ritalin aint bad but now I think it's time to whine to my psych about lack of beneficial effects".

The difference with your submission, was that you put yourself on the line, the whole warts an' all post with every emotion laid bare for all readers to see. *I* for one, appreciate someone who values content, however longwinded (not in my eyes - fuck trying to be succint, I want the full facts thankyou).

Sure, you made a pleathora of sweeping statements that don't necessarily ring true for many, perhaps no hardcore users but at the same time, you were typing off the back of an experience that had such a huge impact on yourself - you recorded a moment in time of your life and whilst reading your words, I wished I'd have been there during the hellacious experience you had and been able to hold your hand and talk you down.

These are open forums where people are supposed to post thought-provoking debate, not pander to others' potential for criticism. You practically threw disclaimer after disclaimer into the subtext of your writing, yet almost everyone jumped on you for what you'd done, along with those who negated many of the positives that result from such a post.

Only you can decide where you go from here but for fucks sake - don't go back to adderall. Psychosomatic symptoms deserve the same degree of reverence as physically derivative ones, hell, the interpreter is the same - your brain, who will gladly contribute to it's degree of panic if it's stimulant addled state feels the need to.

Check your PM.
 
Not cool...

Guys, I have to say that this thread has really proven to be quite disappointing. And it didn't have to be. Yes, Spunkyskunk is a young guy, and acted like a defensive child. But Jesus H. Christ, look at the fucking number and frequency of attacks that were made, personal attacks against his character that were completely uncalled for. Yes, there were issues about his experience that needed to be addressed. And they were addressed, pretty early on, and Spunkyskunk on several occasions freely admitted that he had made those generalizations and stated that they were made in error and that he retracted them. The fact is that the kid was trying to relay his experience, and did not expect nor should have expected such a vehement and mean-spirited reaction. Should he have probably had thicker skin? Well, yes... no one should let a bunch of faceless people on the Internet cause them that kind of distress. But I understand. I mean, if a group of people, some of whom I probably had quite a bit of respect for, launched this crap into my face, I'd be hard-pressed not to be a little hurt by it too.

Also, where do all of you get off trying to make him feel bad or stupid for deciding to quit drugs? Obviously drugs have done more bad for him than good. Myself and most of the rest of us made sure to impress upon him that the same is not true for everyone, and somewhere halfway through the first page he clearly stated that he understood that and retracted his generalization, and yet he was still continually bombarded for it as if he had said nothing. Personally I found it admirable that he decided to quit using something that he felt was bad for him, and I find it strange and unnerving that so many people here would berate him for that. What does it matter to you if he decided to quit drugs or not? Does it threaten your own decisions and beliefs? It shouldn't - it has no bearing on you.

I'm definitely not directing this at everyone who responded in this thread. But were definitely a few superiority complexes showing themselves here. Mr. Spunkyskunk definitely shows his age here but who doesn't, especially when they're young? It's no reason to make a person feel inferior. That's just mean, and it's nothing more than bullying. What is the real purpose behind such dribble?

I'm not trying to say that Spunky was totally in the right here, or that he should learn from his mistakes and think a little more about what he posts or says in the future. But he, like the rest of us, has a right to his opinion and frankly I think it's a little bit disturbing that this forum fosters such an attitude over a personal experience report like this. His mistake was one of youth and generalization which he atoned for. And now he's been chased away. The mistakes of some of us displayed in this thread are of a more sinister nature. I've literally got a bad taste in my mouth, and I would hope that this doesn't happen again unless the situation is actually warranted. 8(
 
I just thought he could have handled him self a little better. Im glad he learned his lesson about correct dosing, and I hope nothing I said drove him away. Although some of the things said to him were pretty nasty, I think he pissed some people off in his replys.


Then again, upon reading some of others' replys again, maybe everyone could have handled them selves better...
 
He absolutely could have handled himself better, and I definitely wasn't directing my post at you. But also as you said, many others here could have done likewise.
 
Taking amphetamines(or any drug) for your first time while going to class and doubling the recomended recreational dose because your balls are just that big isnt the wisest thing you could've done.
 
"I will be writing this down to help process my thoughts as my mind travels through hell."


That's a great attitude to go into any experience with.



Don't underestimate the power of positive.....errr..negative thinking. The mind is a very powerful thing, and your deep seeded thoughts and emotions are more powerful than any drug you can buy.
 
Nice report SpunkySkunk. I wish i had written down some of my thoughts when i went through a bad trip/anxiety attack on a little too much alcohol, ecstasy (first time), and waaaaay too much weed.

Congratulations on the decision to stop taking drugs, if you feel that will be a beneficial desicion for you, then i support your desicion 100 percent. With your family history of addiction and mental illness, i think its probably the best path you could take.

I'm glad to say that i have gradually lowered my usage at a level that i think is right for me, and don't wish to stop completely.
 
Insane_Man said:
"I will be writing this down to help process my thoughts as my mind travels through hell."


That's a great attitude to go into any experience with.



Don't underestimate the power of positive.....errr..negative thinking. The mind is a very powerful thing, and your deep seeded thoughts and emotions are more powerful than any drug you can buy.
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Way to take that line out of context. This is taken straight from the trip report I read. I'm not sure you were reading:

Begining
I won't go into how I got this stuff for the purpose of my own security but at 7:37 am I ingested three 20 mg pills of adderall. According to an Erowid Vault, 35mg should produce "a good buzz"... which to me meant take more because 35mg will not be good enough. If only I had researched a little more and realized that I was taking a pretty high dosage, I could have avoided this all. I then went to school.

At around 8:00 am I started thinking that it had kicked in and started to feel jittery and energized. Looking back I am pretty sure this was placebo, and I only thought it had came into effect.

When first hour began I took my seat with a smile on my face. I felt a small wave of euphoria come over me and realized that the drug was taking effect. It kept coming in stronger and stronger, until the point where I started wondering when I would stop coming up. It got to the point where the euphoria became overwhelming and frightening. All it took was for me to think just for 1 second that I might have overdosed, and then after that it was all I could concentrate on. My mind began to ask questions like, "Did I take too much?" "Should I tell somebody?" "Am I overdosing?" "Why haven't I stop coming up?". Such paranoia took a hold of me that I figured the only way to stay conciouss for the next hours to come and to not blow my cover, would be to keep a journal to organize my thoughts. I wrote this:
(I will try not to change anything I have written down, unless for the sake of my security or grammar reasons.)
_ _ _
I will be writing this down to help process my thoughts as my mind travels through hell.
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Looks to me that he had a fairly positive and care-free attitude when going into the experience. It was after he ingested the substance and had been coming up for a while that his thoughts turned to paranoia. I don't think you can, or should, blame him for having an anxiety attack.

Sorry everyone for not jumping on the bandwagon and attacking the OP.
 
everyone is different, he never used adderall before. It probably time to just leave it alone, everyones kindof beating a dead horse
 
One of my friends was perscribed 60mg a day to start, with no previous stimulant usage in his life. Yeah, some doctors are shitheads.
 
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Growfh said:
One of my friends was perscribed 60mg a day to start, with no previous stimulant usage in his life. Yeah, some doctors are shitheads.
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No recommendation for any sort of tapering? Bastard, let he who precribes with the right hand, by struck down hard with the left.
 
OP: 60mg Adderall is simply too much for many people, including myself. Just because some people can handle it (or have a large tolerance, or don't care about their minds and bodies to be bothered by the shitty side effects) doesn't mean you should be able to as well.

I consider 20mg to be my maximum dose. 10mg is more like it if I just need a little jolt for the day. The most I've taken is probably 50mg in a day and I felt like extreme shit, with massive chest tension, a shitty comedown, paranoia, bad vibes, etc.
 
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