This may or may not be useful, but this is my retrospective summary of mdma use. I'm 44, used it very heavily for 2 years from ages 19-21,almost exclusively to all other drugs except some occasional psychedelic use. It got to the point where the last few times I took 8-13 pills(yes they were real), with little to no positive effect and then stopped. I became severely depressed and agoraphobic for 6 months and then very depressed for another 6 until I started taking am ssri. The worst side effects were decades long memory loss, with virtually no timer memory, my word for the memory that reminds me I put something on the stove or to do a task in a few minutes. Also was my ability to speak, I had the thoughts, but diminished ability to form sentences. This obviously caused many social and employment issues for me. The most surprising thing is that over the last year almost all of those functions have returned. Even my timer memory is decent. I should also note that I've had crippling depression with near daily suicidal ideation. I've been on saris almost continuously ever since, but invariably the depression and anxiety would become overwhelming. The depression over the last year has gone away too, but I still take ssris. I should also mention that it was my favorite drug of all time. I also had a period of 8.5 years of total sobriety in my 30s,which did not help my symptoms. I am terrified to ever use it again however. I'm not trying to be anti mdma, but I'm telling this honestly so that people who do might find this useful. Or not and flame me, but whatever. Much love
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