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Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

It's really tough to quit once you get started, and even dangerous. A lot of people sadly die when they relapse after extended periods of time of being clean. It's like the drug just spits you out and throws you away.

There is hope for me, but I'm ruining my life. It took 18 months of daily, chronic use to develop severe withdrawal symptoms. Everything before that was like getting sick... the flu for a few days and I could still go to school or work, just had trouble sleeping... everything after that was like a two week bedridden commitment from HELL, followed by months of not feeling right. Once I reached that stage, I haven't felt right since without it. I am definitely going to need to seek help at some point but the fucking shame. Think of your friends/family finding out that you have been at this for years... it keeps people using because it's an easy habit to hide so long as you have the money and the connect. It doesn't really get you wasted, just takes the pain away. And then you get a tolerance and you're fucked.

Pain meds are dangerous enough. I still think that there is hope for me. But I don't know if I'm ready because I keep going back to it. It's almost like a romance... just don't fuck with it, seriously. It was probably the dumbest decision I ever made and I really have trouble stopping now. Even slowly tapering my dose is fucking shit.

I remember reading through this thread years ago, but my mind was made up. I was in so much physical agony that I didn't care, well I care now that it's too late not to have very serious repercussions. The high is great but there are safer things to get high on. Seriously, if someone is reading this just think about it and be smart. Most junkies want to quit like cigarette smokers want to quit but they can't. The physical withdrawal is horrific torture and it's the easy part. Then come months upon months of being unable to experience pleasure and not feeling like yourself. Also, the symptoms are a rollercoaster ride, changing from day to day.

It still took 18 months to develop a serious habit with physical withdrawals I could in no way handle while remaining functional, but the psychological attachment began with the very first hit. Honestly just be smart and don't fuck with it. It isn't something that you can just drop once you've decided you have had enough. It scars you for life.
 
ShroomySatori said:
It's really tough to quit once you get started, and even dangerous. A lot of people sadly die when they relapse after extended periods of time of being clean. It's like the drug just spits you out and throws you away.
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Lol one of my friend's sayings was "you dont quit heroin; heroin quits you"

He was also one of the only heroin users I've ever known who didnt constantly complain about his heroin addiction. Very unusual junkie in that regard...always kind of respected that about him, actually.
 
Man, I used to say that about cannabis. Since I started getting so much anxiety when I was stoned, and pretty much was forced to quit as a result. I loved weed so much, the only way I was going to quit cannabis is if it quit me, and I developed a sort of allergic reaction to it after ten years. I still fuck with it sometimes, but it's no longer good for me at all.

I'm trying not to complain about where I am in life. There are still a lot of great things about my life, I've been at it 5 years and opiates have by no means stolen my life from me. They are just a demanding bitch of an addiction that requires constant maintenance to upkeep and ungodly amounts of money... lol. I'm really not kicking myself over it too much as I had debilitating chronic pain to begin with, and I love the high, but withdrawal is a bitch. I usually have a friend or two around who I can just vent to when I'm withdrawing and they understand. I feel the need to complain a lot more about other life problems that are unrelated, and mental illness in fact. At least I knew what I was getting into with dope and didn't like, get hit out of the blue with a panic disorder. Or can't figure out how to get a girl in bed which is fuckin impossible to me and loneliness is a huge part of why I use.

Dope is what you think it would be. It's a straightforward drug. Anything whatsoever that is bothering you or bringing you down will disappear while using. But, it comes at a cost that just isn't worth it at all, and most people can't control something so good at all. The cost is tolerance... your brain needs more of the drug to get the same effect, and it skyrockets with dope. It's also different than most other drugs in that it's permanent. Even if you bring it back down, or quit for 5 years, within about a day you'll be back where you started. And life becomes more unbearable than it was to begin with, when you don't use or even just try to cut back. It's fucking hell. Serious, serious HELL. Not to mention withdrawal... I am literally a corpse in withdrawal, but one that is in excruciating pain mentally and physically. It's challenging for me to get up and get a glass of water, unrelated to the original back pain I am treating, as at this point I am just completely and utterly destroyed without an opiate in my body.

Why would you want to fuck with the part of your brain that processes pain on such a deep level? You have to ask yourself that, is it worth it. I don't see this as a recreational drug at all. I see it as a commitment to a hectic lifestyle of ups and suicidal downs, or something to avoid like the plague.

It was pretty much what I expected it to be, and I accepted that I was going to become addicted when I started using. I had been in so much chronic physical agony for 2 years that doing things like cooking myself a healthy meal or getting out of bed to urinate were issues and challenges. I knew what I was getting into and expected to be a daily user. The withdrawal, and issues with tolerance, have been worse than I ever even expected or thought possible though. I wasn't thinking at the time I just needed pain relief, if you are like that you'll be hooked from the first hit. At least in mind. It takes a long time to develop a dependency but what really counts is whether or not you enjoy the first hit enough to do it again. And I didn't even... it took like 5 tries before I experienced something extremely pleasurable.

Burnt Offerings your bud does seem unusual... I think a lot of junkies are unusual creatures haha. You gotta be a tough dude not to complain, and you gotta be a really tough dude to follow through with quitting. There is hope for me, but I fell asleep sitting on the couch last night slumped forward with my hands dangling on the floor and my head by my knees. Not really the way I envisioned my life as a young adult. Figured I'd be in bed with a cute chic by now.
 
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Should u try heroin????? Jesus Christ... I setup question for DOOM!!!!!!.. Mark me well... This is one of the most POWERFUL DRUGS IN THE WORLD!!!! To condone the idea of experimenting with it(Id rather think of better things to waste my money on, and so should you!) Finally, the idea behind it isn't what gives you the curiosity...the aftermath...is what you need to think about!!! Put it this way... Try to imagine the one thing you'd NEVER.. I MEAN N. E. V. E. R.!!!! wanna become...and you'll be it. Things you've never thought you'd do, you'd do it... and hurt the people the closest to you, you'll do. Look long and hard at your life, and imagine the worst... That's where it ends!!!...its a tri-lane road my friend...left lane(Poverty)...middle lane(Jail or Prison)..and right lane(Death). Think of the movie Scrooge, and imagine your life 5 years down the road FUCKING with this drug. I did what you are thinking... It took alot of heart... desire... and power of will... to come back.. And I dont look back... So here's some advice from a person like many who could write a best selling novel. Stick to being..just you.. A leader... Not a follower...lead by example... Don't be the example... I hope this helps... It's a decision that shouldn't require much thought...
 
I think only good time to to start to use heroin is if you are terminal cancer patient, in UK they give it to you anyway, and almost all other European countries, Usa and any other humanly country will give you morphine, oxydocone and fenatanly as much as you want. I used oral opium for 3 years daily, so I really think that If I know for 100% that I'm going to die soon I would start to use strong opioids again, not too much, not for nodding or to get "high", but just to keep my mood great and take away pain (from cancer or any other terminal disease you are having), thats nothing that other people would even notice. Quitting opioids is really fucking terrible, all the WDS and and the worst are the PAWD. So you should not try heroin or any other strong opioid even once unless you know that you are actually dying in a near future.
 
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Me too.. Erik .... Alots changed on here.... Glad to see you're still here... Xoxox
 
It has an incredibly powerful pull. Been doing it for the past eight years or so, in varying degrees. As my resources dwindled, I used less and less, but I never ever came to terms with "never doing it again." Even down to the point that I was only going once/twice a month on payday. I'd blow enough to go on a 2-3 day bender, rattle for a day or so, then start counting the days to the next payday. Even when I wasn't using daily, I thought of it all the time. I would remember my "using buddies" always asking me why I even bother and don't just quit, but I guess I enjoy it more than them. Lot of stupid shit I've done especially when backed in a corner. Faked seizures to get out of jail (this actually worked twice), driven without a license for years - pretty laughable when you look back on some of it.
 
I must confess as a 24 year old I had to know the answer to this question I obtained no4 grade and got an eight ball with connections clicking at pace,
I smoked and smoked with the nostalgia of Kerouac and Burroughs nodding in bliss, the taste of refined poppy sap wafting like a modern opium den,
Bout week and a half I had that time of times I had,
I woke up with little left but a whisper of junk I vacuumed it clean post hast with my mouth,
the duality of self indulgent relief of all that is, is no doubt about it I was prepared for the junk sickness to consume me like I consumed the junk itself,
2 weeks had passed keeping the aches away with a few bennys to soften the blow, and boy oh ill tell you it blew,
my nose represented nothing more than a flesh toned faucet of dope sick ooze that would run and cause me to recoil almost in tears,
ive not used heroin since
I feel by my use of heroin I have gained more than a high a low and a deficit in fund, I gained perspective to the true old timers and the never ending nostaligic romance for opium morphine and junk.
 
ABSOLUTELY! ....Then when you do come back a year later and tell me how much you hate me!....15yr IV heroin user here....eh, not my best choice. But we can say we have walked on the other side
 
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^I know. I wish I could say that would be fine but unfortunately this happens pretty frequently. I cannot count how many times in my life and in here I heard this very same way of thinking. It seems a denial behavior to me, but let's hope for the best.

Eventually a lot of people come back here regretting how naive they were.
As we often say, knowing or recognizing your problems is the first step out of them.
 
KimDid said:
I wish th Chicago's Cook County Jail could do a video of the inevitable effects of heroin addiction. Believe me, I've Sat in the bull pens many times as a female. I've seen as well as been one of the people balled up on the cold concrete floor, sick as a dog, wishing I could just die rather than go through what lies ahead....much worse pain, the weakness that you feel you can't sit up let alone walk, but you have to stand before a judge in a few hours.
Ive seen women throwing up yellow foam while the other 70 women want to and often do beat the hell out of them cause they smell or threw up in front of them. The officers calling them names, telling them what nasty pieces of shit they are, etc., etc. And don't be Gang affiliated as I was because you have to hide it at any cost or get a violation by the others cause heroin is unacceptable in any Chicago gang punishable by a violation.
The men? Oh they got it way worse. In bullpen where there's barely room to stand...get sick & you'll get a beatdown for sure...first by the guys with you, then by the CO's. I watched a man get beat so bad by the CO's I thought he was dead and his 72 year old mom was with us hearing it. Yes his mother. A dear sweet Christian woman who was arrested because the police were assholes and wanted to hurt dude, so they took mom since it was technically her home. After they beat him so bad he couldn't walk, one officer said "should we call an ambulance?" The other one said "no, drag him outside the gates and throw his paperwork away".
Once you've caught a habit....and trust me, you will. Even if you can afford your shit eryday and by some slim chance you manage to keep a job (if not you'll find some criminal means), at some point you'll be locked up cause c'mon...its illegal. Any Amt is a felony. Don't know where u live but here in "Chiraq" you'll not get any help when locked up unless you're enrolled in a methadone program, and here you still won't get it till processed about 2-3 days of feeling worse than you ever have.
In addition, I've been jacked cause when going to the spot My life Mutha Fucka's know you got some money. I've been popped off cause they were doing a sting at the spot.
Man Papito.....bottom line is that it's totally your choice... But think of the long term consequences. I started and never got a habit for a year by skipping days. Before I quit....I had a habit of 24-40 bags a day...a dealers habit. Now this stuff got deadly shit in it. Phentynol for one. C'mon man I been selling the better part of my 20yr habit..these guys don't hire chemists to mix their shit.
Just think real hard cause like someone here said... Me telling you don't do it won't help any more than printing say no to drugs in the lid of a box of candy will.
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See, this i find totally unnessesary and can be easily solved with a HAT program. Like the other more humane northern european countries do. the prohibition and this perverted american backwards obsession with punishing drug users is where the real danger comes from. the financialmpart from ghe black market, again which is caused by this. Even the WHO recognizes the need for MAT and HAT as a legimiate treatment. not these sadist pens thatbare called american jails, who feel the need the jail over half of the worlds pop. This system is to make the private prisons weathly. They dont give a damn about actually helping users. the oligarchs control the system to have users coming back. Its too much money for them to lose. America is too backwards to see the light unless we have a true progressive leaders
 
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Sounds totally sick no t to give methadone to heroin addict in jail. Well USA is totally shit country and it will not change to better place, good I dont live there, the laws are shit and everything else. Well like I said, you should consider to start using heroin only if you are sure you are dying in near future, it seems that all the proble because of its illegality and wds and paws tied to quitting are so much hell that its better to die. Well you can always hope that in futre they find way to stop using long term habbit wituhout any pain and you feel normal in day or two. But until then if you have something to loose then dont start using it, totally shit drug (effects might be really good). Never tried that shit, but done lots of opium and some fentanyl and seems heroin is from totally different planet. Well wds from daily 3 years opium use were hell for 1 month but I used ghb, lyrica and speed to cope so I didnt suffer much at all, actually had some good time, paws where total shit tho'. only after 6 moths I can say that paws are pretty much gone or very weak. I think after 20 years of use only choige is to stay on methadone or buprenorphine rest of youre life until they make osme good medication that take wdsa of instantnly and dont cause any paws. Well thats the life of hard opioid addict.

From reading the jail detoxing from heroin how can someone say that quitting benzos is much worse? Seems forcing someone to go to heroin wds is great wayu to torture people.
 
Ne0 said:
Sounds totally sick no t to give methadone to heroin addict in jail. Well USA is totally shit country and it will not change to better place, good I dont live there, the laws are shit and everything else. Well like I said, you should consider to start using heroin only if you are sure you are dying in near future, it seems that all the proble because of its illegality and wds and paws tied to quitting are so much hell that its better to die. Well you can always hope that in futre they find way to stop using long term habbit wituhout any pain and you feel normal in day or two. But until then if you have something to loose then dont start using it, totally shit drug (effects might be really good). Never tried that shit, but done lots of opium and some fentanyl and seems heroin is from totally different planet. Well wds from daily 3 years opium use were hell for 1 month but I used ghb, lyrica and speed to cope so I didnt suffer much at all, actually had some good time, paws where total shit tho'. only after 6 moths I can say that paws are pretty much gone or very weak. I think after 20 years of use only choige is to stay on methadone or buprenorphine rest of youre life until they make osme good medication that take wdsa of instantnly and dont cause any paws. Well thats the life of hard opioid addict.

From reading the jail detoxing from heroin how can someone say that quitting benzos is much worse? Seems forcing someone to go to heroin wds is great wayu to torture people.
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the only opiod that can be deadly to wd from is methadone or some other long acting one like laam. Addicts have died in jail from MMT wd because the wd just is brutal to the system and the organs just give out from the trauma or from severe dehydration. Heroin wd can kill if your have pre existing conditions like heart failure or blood pressure issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci7VJZiBOTo
 
Methadone is sometimes the only way out, but truly difficult - nearly impossible to get off.

Not just through w/d but all the way through depression and sadness. You need to really want to quit and do it professionally, in and out hospitals. It's a living hell, but possible when you want to start over. It may take months, years to be fine again and when you make it, you feel magically rewarded, despite all the pressure and problems.
 
Erikmen said:
Methadone is sometimes the only way out, but truly difficult - nearly impossible to get off.

Not just through w/d but all the way through depression and sadness. You need to really want to quit and do it professionally, in and out hospitals. It's a living hell, but possible when you want to start over. It may take months, years to be fine again and when you make it, you feel magically rewarded, despite all the pressure and problems.
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I don't see any point stopping if you will suffer from depression and sadness for 1 year. Maybe only if you are in coma for 1 year and don't need to feel it, other way is to commit suicide, or just stay on methadone rest of life. At least I would do so. I would never in any fucking way would be in total depression and sadness for 1 whole year, rather commit suicide, what would I do in that 1 year? I can't do any work, I can't sleep for 24 h, I cant exercise, I couldn't do any fucking think If I were in depression. But in Turkey I heard they put you to sleep for 1 month for heroin wds if you pay 10000 dollars, maybe thats enough for heroin, so the depression goes away. Well you can always use some other drugs to get rid of depression.

Maybe weekly ketamine dosing would help like they are treating depression i some good countries? One ketamine shot will treat you're derpession for 2 weeks, it must work with opioid PAWS too.
 
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I stopped because I couldn't have it anymore. Not only because I was totally dependant on doctors and routines, couldn't travel when I wanted. It was more due to the side effects like sweating, digestion problems. My hormones were all messed up. I was not well, there was no future for me.

Like I said, it was good for a couple of years to disconnect me from my previous world and contacts. To be able to live a 'normal' life. But tolerance makes us want a little more. Shouldn't have increased as time went by, and not waited for almost 8 years to stop. Other people may find it easier to quit. I am fine now. Not nearly as bad as I was before.
 
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