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Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

Listen, I started doing opiates at 17 and move onto heroin about 8 years later. When I moved onto heroin, that was the nail on the coffin. I was instantly hooked. It made me feel exactly what I wanted out of life. escapism. Sure it feels great for the first few years if you're not doing it everyday. But towards the end, you start stealing from your parents and friends for your next fix and it completely ruins your life. I've never heard of anyone who tried to heroin a couple of times and just quit like that. Sure there probably are people like that, but why take the risk? Before heroin is done with you, no one will want you around them, you'll lose all your friends, your parents will lock everything up and things like that. You can never quit when you think you are starting to get too bad, it gets you before you know it and then it's too late.
So my suggestion is, if you're thinking about doing heroin, please don't. If you care about your family and friends and your character and dignity don't. If you have a lot of assets that you've gained through hard work, you'll watch it all go away by you selling them. if you're a female, you'll start prostituting yourself. that happens 9 out of 10 times. Heroin isn't all of that. You get high the first couple of times, then you're just using so you won't get sick, you won't even get high. You're just using so you're not puking, shitting on yourself, having nightsweats, unable to sleep, severe cramps. It's one of the worst drugs I have ever laid my hands on. I'm now on methadone for about 5 years and I also hate having to go to this clinic everyday for this medicine which alters me a bit. I'm slowly going down on dose so i can for once and for all, be done with methadone. I don't mean to be a debbie downer, but this is an open forum, let's not just glorify heroin, let's also talk the truth about it. All people who have been hooked on heroin and been through this, always and forever regret using heroin that first time out of curiosity or whatever reason.

You had me on board until the" "9 out of 10 female heroin users become prostitutes" part. I have no idea how anyone could quantify that, it sounds way too high. Idk, maybe you're right about it, but 90% of female users being prostitutes sounds wrong.

The rest of it is spot on though. The thing I like about bluelight is its neutral, unbiased forum for drug discussion and its HR goals. I see heroin use discussed in realistic terms. Almost all the posts I see about it are about its addictive potential and the problems it causes. And HR stuff to keep those who do safe, but for the most part I dont see any glorification here, everyone more or less agrees that it will fuck your life up
 
No, 90% of women who use heroin do not become sex workers. Of course it isn’t exactly uncommon, but most women who use heroin most of the time engage in completely different professions. That said I think the thought of making money as a sex worker cross almost everyone’s mind at least once if they’re struggling with paying for their addiction...
 
Thank yoy for sharing your experience with us. I feel this is basically what happens to all of us in one moment or another. People always say that there is an exception for every rule, but in this case unless your experience shows that heroin or opiates is definitely not the DOC there is no way around it.

Even when we quit, the memories will always be something you will have to work with. That makes me remember that around 30 years ago after my father had quit smoking he used to say that on his last week of his life he would have liked to smoke one last cigarette.

The entire experience with opiates and especially with heroin is complicated and it will mess with your life in ways that you’d least expect. My struggle with that has really fuc** with my life even though I quit using opiates and Benzos for a couple years. It has never been easy but substantially better than before.

I don't know if I can get past it now. I will be forever struggling. Over those years I set a new standard of living for myself. Going to work was as fun as playing guitar late into the night. I couldn't care to be bothered but somehow I was functioning at a really high level. The most functional I have ever been in life, self sustaining and a good career starting up and yeah then I ruined my life. That standard is no longer possible, and I am back to my old self but a lot worse off than before. I made some stupid life choices while using. Sure it was fun at that time but whatever fun I had was entirely overridden by the chronic relapsing after a few years when all hell started breaking loose. By the end of it I was laying in bed all day like I was on my deathbed I couldn't get up or find the strength even to get a fix so I rode it out and struggled with pills for a while and here I am.

I feel like I ruined my life. I can't shake that feeling. I don't even have a buddy to smoke trees with anymore and I am a ridiculous pothead. That is one social thing that I love but I always smoke alone now. Let alone getting anywhere with a girl, I feel braindead. Opiates invigorated me with energy at first and it was wonderful but eventually they turned on me. It's just not the same when the real problems start. Seems like I am doing better for sure but there is only so much I can take. It has been 14 weeks today.

I don't feel right at all. I lost a lot of my possessions by the end of it as I was unemployable. For years I was functional though. I wonder what the future holds in store. There is so much potential here but it has been squandered for a ong time.
 
I'm withdrawing from oxy right now (drunk) and I feel like ABSOLUTE death. The embodiment of darkness. I'm so sorry for anyone who has gone through anything worse than this--heroin... methadone, etc. This is the highlight of negativity within my life, now I know what addiction is like having only been on the other side of "why is that person doing this to themselves?" My mother was an ex heroin addict and it seems I inherited her love of opiates through her. Anyway anyone going through the same thing please stay strong, this is absolutely brutal beyond words and I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.

I keep reaching out to friends or potential lovers as if anyone can help relieve the toll from another dimension, but it's always so convenient how when you're going through withdrawal there is absolutely no one or anything that can help ease the pain besides yourself.
 
I don't know if I can get past it now. I will be forever struggling. Over those years I set a new standard of living for myself. Going to work was as fun as playing guitar late into the night. I couldn't care to be bothered but somehow I was functioning at a really high level. The most functional I have ever been in life, self sustaining and a good career starting up and yeah then I ruined my life. That standard is no longer possible, and I am back to my old self but a lot worse off than before. I made some stupid life choices while using. Sure it was fun at that time but whatever fun I had was entirely overridden by the chronic relapsing after a few years when all hell started breaking loose. By the end of it I was laying in bed all day like I was on my deathbed I couldn't get up or find the strength even to get a fix so I rode it out and struggled with pills for a while and here I am.

I feel like I ruined my life. I can't shake that feeling. I don't even have a buddy to smoke trees with anymore and I am a ridiculous pothead. That is one social thing that I love but I always smoke alone now. Let alone getting anywhere with a girl, I feel braindead. Opiates invigorated me with energy at first and it was wonderful but eventually they turned on me. It's just not the same when the real problems start. Seems like I am doing better for sure but there is only so much I can take. It has been 14 weeks today.

I don't feel right at all. I lost a lot of my possessions by the end of it as I was unemployable. For years I was functional though. I wonder what the future holds in store. There is so much potential here but it has been squandered for a ong time.

I know how endless and even pointless things are right now, I feel you ShroomySatori every thought, no perspective and all the emptiness all around, but you have once again reached some important mark for you and you know things will not get better if as this seems to be all around atm.

I have been where you are and trust me when I say this will get better. I am still getting to know my new me, things are really strange sometimes but you have not passed the point where things cannot reverse. That’s a challenge you must follow every minute of your day. We can’t give up, because it doesn’t end and things as you know get progressively worse.

I went back to my closest relatives last month and I know they saw something/a person they liked, Iam turning to be someone that I am actually begging to like. We need freedom and from there you have got to find something you actually enjoy doing, it’s horrible right now but regardless of you previous experience you had even when it does look as good as you want there are other ways to keep going forward. Different ways!

You are still resisting, I know this feeling. It would have been better to simply do it you might be thinking but it’s actually our addiction speaking and we get better every time. I have done this, that’s why I am so sure you can. There’s nothing that different between You and I when it comes to fight this.

Keep writing, don’t let your hopes go down. We all deserve the best we can be, and everytime is different but it gets worse if you need to start over. Just don’t overthink, keep it simple one day at a time!

I rooting for you!! :)
 
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This would be fine I'd probably be excited about it a little if I wasn't severely addicted to benzos too and if I had a stable means to pay for them as this is not the time to quit those too. I have a severe panic disorder by far my worst mental illness or physical issue in fact, it puts them all to shame so I would like to very slowly taper those but, I am in a situation in which I have been broke and unemployed for so long that I am essentially retarded.

I can't deal with it I've lost so much SO much. In my early 20s I had a country home a fuckin personal grow up sativa beauties, a lovely girlfriend who was an angel to me, a job that paid way the fuck more than I knew what to do with. I injured my spine, and they fired me after a year when I started going to the hospital. My career has never recovered and I mean how long can you stay hopeless and feel like there will ever be hope again.

I have lost everything I mentioned above plus over 100k easily over a few years, I have lost my sanity, but I haven't lost my health. I still do hot yoga and when I was a heroin addict I was 200 pounds and really fit. Since I stopped, I realized that my chronic pain is pretty much just severe, relentless, suicidial depression my brain distracts me with it. Even though, there was a really bad injury most people would have gotten over the acute phase I feel.

I ruined my life. I'm too fucked up at this point to care. How can I keep trying, when I am fried. I do not know what it is like to be human anymore. I am losing touch with reality and dissociating. I just want it to stop and there's only one way.

What the fuck was I thinking trying that shit. Getting on benzos and opiates pretty much simultaneously was great for the first few years, but there is a very real chance I could die this week. I'm definitely not going to live a long life by any means at all. 30 years is enough for me.

When is it going to be over. Am I going to remember? Am I just going wake up all over again like a video game? Or as some animal on another planet? Is there just going to be darkness? I have never been so unstable in all my life and my current situation the people around me are NOT helping. I don't expect help. I mean to say that I feel abused and bullied and it distracts me to the point that I can't focus on getting my shit together.

It is not a situation I would wish on anymore I know, as many people whom I hate.
 
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Listen dude. I?m not gonna tell you what to do or how to live your life, but if you?re really contemplating trying H you better think long and hard before you do. Why are you thinking about trying it? Have ppl been using it around you? How readily available is it? How bad does your life suck? Speaking from experience, once you try it,you?re gonna love it. If it?s easily accessible in your area, that can be a double edged sword. Your body will develop a need for it, and quick, so you better have it accessible.Now,if you plan on snorting a lil and being done with it, then it?s better if it?s not around. You?re gonna want more, so I?d say if it?s accessible, and you?re life isn?t too shitty, don?t do it. If you do it, your life will get shittier, I promise. If it?s not easy to get, and you?re that curious, do it and walk away. But for Christ?s sake be careful. There?s some strong shit going around that will drop you before you know what happened. Good luck bro
 
Risk to experience is so not worth it to try. I knew I was signing up for it when I first got it. I had been in chronic physical agony for 2 years and nothing else worked. I knew I would want it all the time. I wasn't just "trying it" that doesn't even make sense to me. Trying it is stupid. If you're mentally and physically fucked out of your mind in pain and anguish then it's more understandable, and if there is already a history with hydromorphone / hydrocodone / opium / oxycodone / oxymorphone etc. it's pretty much for suicidal people. I would say try one of those instead but the addiction risk is just insane and every junkie started with a first hit. I'm sure they didn't anticipate how much this stuff can destroy you as you watch in horror seemingly frozen, trapped. Having to hide it constantly, all the money the constant stupid fuckin boring hustle that wears you down. Chronic relapsing, in and out of withdrawal on a regular basis.

I don't have back problems since I quit, they are managed by daily hot yoga. It's an exhausting way of managing the pain but it works and the dope was even more exhausting way more exhausting and not only didn't work but made me suffer beyond what I ever thought I would go through in my 20's. Fuck what this shit did to me it has been just shy of 4 months and I still find it hard to smile or laugh like I used to. I was frying myself with it for a really long time though. Just waiting to see if I'll ever come back.

Sure you can remain functional for several years even, maybe even a decade but at some point it will ruin your life. As for trying it... I don't understand that really. Before I hurt my back I did a lot of drug abuse but it never crossed my mind to try this shit or anything like it. Even I knew better and I'm a dumbass but then came the injury and I screwed myself up.
 
My answer to this question is. WITHDRAWAL WITHDRAWAL WITHDRAWAL. Because if you do heroin you will go through this hell eventually and you won't get high anymore. You will just be chasing normalcy the whole time. So what would be the point especially if you already feel normal to begin with. I wish I was smart enough to ask this question before I tried it. I'm better now. But it took hell to get here. I feel like someone needs to start a movement where we educate kids and people about withdrawal. Because when I was a kid basically all I heard was that drugs were bad. And pictures of people who look like monsters. I heard the word "addiction" and basically thought that "oh they're addicted because they liked it too much so they couldn't stop" (how naive) I mean sure maybe at first but then it stops being fun and games and quickly becomes a neccessity. You could hate doing it and still not be able to stop because the only thing holding you back is the threat of the thing that scares you more than anything. WITHDRAWAL. and knowing that all you have to do to not feel that hell is to use. WITHDRAWAL IS A BITCH. AND SHE DOESNT DISCRIMINATE.
 
Knowledge of withdrawal definitely didn’t stop me from using heroin. And frankly withdrawal is often totally misrepresented in a lot of popular culture.

It can be horribly uncomfortable, sure, but rarely is it that much worse than a bad case of the flu.

Plus there are lots of meds that can make the process very bearable, it just too bad more medical providers don’t have a clue/believe suffering will keep people away from drug use.
 
I'd wholeheartedly recommend against doing heroin. Using, while it feels good, has had a profoundly negative effect on my life overall. It's powerfully addictive and very difficult to quit of function on for very long. Anybody reading wondering if they should try heroin should make the smart choice and abstain.
 
I always thought it was so fucking oblivious how people would tell me, “ohhh! But you’re so smart, how did you get addicted to heroin?”

:|

Not in reference to tanline’s post, just musing.
 
It?s a nice post, but there are some major issues. Like the sex worker generalization, that simply isn?t accurate and more anti drug propaganda.

Similarly, most people who try heroin probably don?t get addicted to it (if not most, at least like 50%). Of course there isn?t great research out there on this, but from what we do know something like 70% of people who try drugs like heroin or cocaine do not end up being addicted in the true sense of the word.

I have know more than one person who tried heroin once or twice and never did it again. Likewise I’ve known someone who used it infrequently over the course of a couple years and simply walked away once they felt it wasn’t sustainable.

That isn’t to say heroin isn’t extremely habit forming or dangerous in terms of addiction, it is just that most of what the average person knows about heroin isn’t representative of people who actually use it.

Again, most info on heroin out there remains rooted in anti drug propaganda. It?s sad drug users so often internalize stigma like that.
 
^^^ I agree. There is so much ridiculous stigma attached to drug use. Cuz yeah, everyone knows all junkies become whores. Please.

Beefy, a few pages back, your post is a good and honest one. I appreciate your explanation - it definitely works, tells the truth in a believable way. Not the egg in the frying pan bullshit.

I'm not really agreeing completely, however. In my experience (maybe I was lucky) heroin definitely calmed me so I could still feel the slight electric buzz of mania (I'm bipolar), so my creative energy was immense. Music, painting, words coming so easily. It was a dream, I left the world for a while and created my own internal world, like living in a colorful bubble. Often, I was also on K-pin while high.

I will admit, though, that I seem to have some unusual reactions to drugs. Maybe because I am bipolar. And I'll admit that I miss it. Every day I want that place where I escaped to, I want it back.
 
No, 90% of women who use heroin do not become sex workers. Of course it isn?t exactly uncommon, but most women who use heroin most of the time engage in completely different professions. That said I think the thought of making money as a sex worker cross almost everyone?s mind at least once if they?re struggling with paying for their addiction...

It's 91% of women isn't it?
 
You had me on board until the" "9 out of 10 female heroin users become prostitutes" part. I have no idea how anyone could quantify that, it sounds way too high. Idk, maybe you're right about it, but 90% of female users being prostitutes sounds wrong.

The rest of it is spot on though. The thing I like about bluelight is its neutral, unbiased forum for drug discussion and its HR goals. I see heroin use discussed in realistic terms. Almost all the posts I see about it are about its addictive potential and the problems it causes. And HR stuff to keep those who do safe, but for the most part I dont see any glorification here, everyone more or less agrees that it will fuck your life up

I've long wondered what the real numbers are. But in my experience a very large number of female heroin addicts wind up prostitution themselves in some form at least once. Which is certainly not even close to the same thing as saying 9 out of 10 female heroin addicts end up becoming prostitutes professionally. Just that it's very common for female heroin addicts to eventually do something along the lines of sex work on some occasion over the course of their addiction.

I couldn't possibly say how many, but my guess would be over half.
But if we're talking about actually being a prostitute as say, an every day occupation, then no, there's no way it's 9 out of 10. By over half, I'm including women who resort to it even just once or twice then never again. If we're going on it actually being something like a job, sure it's way higher than the non heroin addicted population, but nowhere near 90%.
 
^for sure the thought crosses almost everyone’s mind, in my experience for males as well as females.

Of course it isn’t unusual for sex workers to be involved with drug use, but as you posted it isn’t something like 9/10 people become all out sex workers. I do imagine a lot of women who use heroin are more likely to experience getting it briefly involved with exchanging sexual favors for drugs/money/abuse/etc, and it might be more than with men, but it’s not as big a difference as a lot of would might imagine.

I feel kinda bad I was really thought on beefy. Everyone is entitled to their own way of looking at things, I just have a low tolerance for how people will be broad strokes based on their own experience as opposed to actually hearing from others. Iono... this is ya’lls thread, so carry on.
 
Straight guys do sexual favours for heroin, Brian on the Boulevard is eye opening and on youtube. It's fuckin crazy I can't imagine doing that, probably nobody can until they are given an offer they can't refuse, but tbh I was jealous of all the smack this hustler had at the time. I'm sure when he took his first hit, he wasn't imagining laying in bed with elderly men for a fix. That shit would make staying clean really challenging I feel.

Terrible life decision trying this shit. 4 months and I'm only beginning to wake up, after relapsing chronically until I had started to overdose. If I ever use it again, it will probably be the end of me.

Such a shit drug too. "chipping" is SO not worth it, I mean yeah, it's hard to describe the opiate high to someone who hasn't used a good one like oxy hydromorphone or heroin because you can be very high with euphoria and just feel completely amazing no worries social, super mellowed out, there is a comeup when you sniff it over 15 minutes to euphoria and mental stimulation and physical relaxation before it tapers down into something more sedating.

I don't think I could recommend trying it, and I don't really think anyone who isn't deluded could even allow someone to try it no matter how much hate and manipulation and personal gain. It's like the junkie code, at least for me. I would NEVER give someone so much as half a 5mg percocet.
 
Pretty much everyone I know including myself have something kinda like this junkie code you describe. Essentially just a mental rule that we won't be responsible for someone's first experience with heroin. Once they've tried it, it's different. But even if a lot of us still really enjoy heroin even for all the pain it's caused, I think a lot of us, and certainly for myself, already feel a lot of guilt for shitty things we've done without the added guilt of possibly starting someone else's habit.

Nobody I know is willing to knowingly be responsible for helping someone try heroin for the first time. I have a friend who realized that someone had told him he'd used before, but when the time came it became obvious that he really hadn't. Since the drugs belonged to him (my friend) , he put a stop to it and wouldn't let him (the guy who lied and really hadn't used H before) use it. Not for the first time, not with his drugs.

^for sure the thought crosses almost everyone’s mind, in my experience for males as well as females.

Of course it isn’t unusual for sex workers to be involved with drug use, but as you posted it isn’t something like 9/10 people become all out sex workers. I do imagine a lot of women who use heroin are more likely to experience getting it briefly involved with exchanging sexual favors for drugs/money/abuse/etc, and it might be more than with men, but it’s not as big a difference as a lot of would might imagine.

I feel kinda bad I was really thought on beefy. Everyone is entitled to their own way of looking at things, I just have a low tolerance for how people will be broad strokes based on their own experience as opposed to actually hearing from others. Iono... this is ya’lls thread, so carry on.

I dunno what this is like for guys, but one difference might be that women are more likely to be offered sexual favors in exchange for drugs. I've gotten those offers lots of times.so, if you're a junkie, and female, chances are even if you never seek it out, sooner or later you'll be sick and desperate and someone will make the offer.

Which is part of why I think the stats for female heroin addicts that have sold themselves at least once at some point are likely very high. That and the fact that just the ones I know personally is pretty high and there could well be some that just can't bring themselves to admit it
 
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I agree it is hardly uncommon, but it’s more common with people who develop nasty habits versus people who don’t get very into the heroin lifestyle.

In certain communities men are just as often propositioned than women, but in terms of mainstream heterosexual communities, you are totally right that it is not at all unusual for female users to get propositioned. But in other communities it’s common for men too.

It isn’t heroin specific, but this has some very interesting info on women and drug use: https://www.ijdp.org/article/S0955-3959(13)00126-6/fulltext

IJDP said:
The history of gender theory provides a useful framework for examining some key features of the literature on women and drugs as well as a lens for exploring gender sameness and difference in recovery from heroin dependence. For example, the earliest addiction literature generally ignored women or portrayed them as victims or as weak, self-destructive and insecure individuals who were sicker, more deviant, and more psychologically disturbed than their male peers (Broom, 1995, Ettorre, 1989, Ettorre, 1992, Henderson, 1999, Pettiway, 1997, Thom, 2010). A key objective of the first feminist addiction scholars was therefore to give women drug users and the issues that concerned them greater prominence. As Ettorre argued, this required a women-orientated perspective on, and response to, substance abuse that was empowering and rooted in the identity and consciousness of females who actually used drugs (Ettorre, 1989, Ettorre, 1992, Ettorre, 1994).

Much of the gendered drugs literature that subsequently emerged focused only on women, highlighted female drug users’ shared experiences of addiction, and portrayed drug-users who were female in a less stigmatising, more empowering light than had previously been the case. Indeed, a number of very influential studies showed how women drug users were autonomous and assertive social actors who made conscious choices to use substances, could be good and loving mothers, and did not inevitably support their drug use through prostitution (e.g. Ettorre, 1989, Ettorre, 1992, Kearney et al., 1994, Rosenbaum, 1981, Taylor, 1993).

For many years, the literature on women and drugs tended to focus on a relatively narrow number of issues: especially female drug users’ involvement in sex work, their sexual relationships, pregnancy/mothering, and experiences of physical and sexual abuse (e.g. Boyd, 1999, Freund et al., 1989, Glynn et al., 1983, Murphy and Rosenbaum, 1995, Perkins and Bennett, 1985). Additionally, studies started to show that women encountered particular barriers in accessing support for their drug problems, such as negative stereotyping, social stigma, lack of childcare, transportation problems, and services that did not meet women's needs (e.g. Abbott, 1994, Copeland, 1997, Fraser, 1997, Marsh et al., 2000, Nelsonzlupko et al., 1996, Weissman et al., 1995). This, in turn, elicited demands for treatment based on a feminist perspective (Abbott, 1994) and for specialised women's services, such as women-only groups, child care provision, and support in addressing abuse issues (Becker and Duffy, 2002, Grella et al., 2000, Nelsonzlupko et al., 1996, Oppenheimer, 1991, Swift et al., 1996).

Studies comparing the needs and characteristics of drug-using women and men, meanwhile, indicated that rates of substance use were lower for women, but women were more likely to share needles, receive previously used injecting equipment, and have a sexual partner who was also a drug user (Barnard, 1993, Becker and Duffy, 2002, Gossop et al., 1994, Powis et al., 1996). In addition, females were disproportionately likely to have experienced physical and mental health problems, sexual abuse, or domestic violence (Becker and Duffy, 2002, Gilbert et al., 2001, McKeganey et al., 2005). Women in treatment were also more likely than their male peers to be responsible for childcare (Grella and Joshi, 1999, Rowan-Szal et al., 2000) and unemployed (Richardson et al., 2010, Rowan-Szal et al., 2000).
my emphasis

Note the some of the stereotypes about women and drug use addressed here.
 
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