rollingregret
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2007
- Messages
- 49
I appologize for the length, i'm trying to be comprehensive...
Hi all. While i used to browse these boards for better rolling tips (5htp, stocking on amino acids like tyrosine, DLPA, vitamin C, etc.), i find myself in a different position nowdays. So here's the story:
Started dropping Feb 2005. did it pretty frequently (6 times) around then until April. Took a summer break (during that time i developped some pretty serious anxiety, waking in the middle on the night etc.) That all subsided and come labour day i was back in the habit. From Fall 05 until now i have been on an average of about once a month. Although i know i have been somewhere in between abusing and spacing it out a responsible time, it has now all caught up to me.
In October (06), went to a massive event (i should say my connection to dropping is intertwined with the EDM/rave scene), did way more than my usual of really strong ones (blue diamonds 3d), that being 4 over the course of about 10 hours. Obviously the next few days were shitty, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then around the weekend i started to feel an uncomfortable haze, as if the crackedness was not leaving. From then onwards i developed thesse symptoms:
-a feeling of dizziness, not so much that i will faint, but disorientation, ever so slight. Everytime i shifted my gaze, everything would shift momentarily, ever so slightly. depth perception was impaired. It was not just limited to a visual disturbance but rather a change in my body balance
-gradually i developped this crushing head pressure, as if it were filling up with fluid. I had alot of pain around my neck as if it were being pinched, and causing the head inflation.
-I also had this indescribable sense that there was something amiss, i couldnt describe it. I was sensitive to light, everythign seemed brighter. I also noticed towards the end, some visual strings in my field of view, which i now know very well to be FLOATERS.
Along the way, i had been many times to the doctor, done CTs, MRIs, blood tests, etc. As is the case with most people on these boards, everything looked fine, they couldnt find anything.
Finally I went for massage therapy for my aching back. It helped relieve tension, but the therapist said that i should have my neck checked out as my cervical vertebrae appeared misaligned.
I went to see a chiropractor (had no experience with them whatsoever). Got the X-ray back, and lo and behold there was a very visible kink in my neck: i had an atlas misalignment (where your head is not sitting on your spine straight, compressing important nerves).
check this site:
http://www.nucca.org/node/31
it appeared to be the only explanation for my symptoms. It held a lot of weight, since indeed if i had a weak atlas joint, raving for 10 hours could certainly take it to the tipping point. In any case, i followed up treatment (adjustments) and after about two weeks, my dizziness and balance loss actually cleared up. What remained was that "brightness" and the floaters, but since this process of healing is gradual, i considered myself on the path to recovery. I shoudl note that it was about 2 months after my binge and the onset of symtoms, that i sought chiropractic help, so about 3 months before I was in a state i deemed healthy. Perhaps it was the placebo, i cant be sure. I definitely have a misalignment and its correction will no doubt help, but i am now becoming certain that the majority of my issue is brain/mdma related. NOTE: i encourage you all to get your atlases checked; most people have dislodged it to some degree, it may alleviate some problems. Oddly enough, alot of people complain about neck/back pain with vs and hppd.
Anyway, the reason i accepted this answer was PRIMARILY because after searching DAY after DAY on the net for combinations like:
ecstasy/mdma, vision problems, balance, dizziness, etc. i found NOTHING. Just the usual, effects may last such as minor dizziness for a couple of weeks after. NOTHING to suggest such a profound delerium.
I thus fooled myself into thinking that this was not at all due to my e consumption, since i had never expereinced any long term effects. This led me to a foolish decision to pop again. It coincided with a pretty traumatic break up and so when I went out with my friends to another huge party, I definitely went beyond my means, consuming 4.5 (they were very clean, nothing weirf about them at all). In the following days, i was waiting to see if symtoms reappeared, since i expected by back/neck to be screwed up once again (but with the knowledge that it was easily fixable).
Three days later they came back on. I noticde the floaters even more and this time,, miraculously when i googled "Mdma, floaters", i was made aware of this horrifying condition known as HPPD (those of you who have made it this far in my post prolly already know what this is). I was shocked and terrified to learn that my inexplicable fuckedupness was infact a disorder! Although the full-blown version is typical of LSD users, i learned that indeed, E abuse led to the symptoms i showed. Particularly floaters and static vision (the "brightness")!!!
I have been scouring the net for information and experiences abotu X and hppd. It has been a little more than 3 weeks, and my condition is BAD. When i say bad, i know that full blown hppders would be thnakful to have what i have, but in no way can i function on a daily basis. I have read countless posts like mine "I did a lot of E and now my vision is all staticy"
Even worse, most of these cases seem to last forever!!
I guess im looking for some advice, some similar experiences from some E users. I know this is extremely rare (making it all the more frustrating). I have obviously stopped all drugs, although ive been taking to a couple of pints of beer fairly often , which at least take my mind off it temporarily. I realise ill have to stop that too.
The most debilitating thing for me is this returned feeling tof imbalance. Reading a computer screen is hard, there is so mcuh radiation coming from it.
The glare is too much, scrolling makes me lose my place, my vision is darted. I cant focus on one spot, its like a constant flickering everywhere, nothing is perfectly still. Walls and flat monochrome surfaces are very staticy. My neck is extremely tense again. Im getting tension-headache-like symptoms. Reading is so hard! The pages just flicker like a screen. trying to pay attention to a powerpoint presentation on a projection screen (at work: insurance firm in nyc) is unbearable! I also have tinnitus when it is really quiet.
I know that anxiety and focusing on these issues make them worse. They are jsut overwhelming. If you guys could shed light on my problem and what my prognosis might be (i know visual snow is categorized differently than hppd, but is equally as debilitating), i'd appreciate it. If you had symptoms similar to mine, did they dissipate within months, or longer (i know alot of you have persistent visual snow that has lasted years after dosing). The most confusing symptom that i dont find alot of posts on is the dizziness factor, the darting vision, the feeling of not having fluid visual movements, accompanied by a synchronous head buzz.
Thanks alot and i really appreciate you taking the time to read.
p.s. im 25 and so far i dont have any emotional dp/dr-like symptoms
also, there REALLY needs to be more awareness of vs and hppd within the e community...i know a LOTTT abotu risks and mechanisms of pharmacology, but i never ever heard about this until it was too late
Hi all. While i used to browse these boards for better rolling tips (5htp, stocking on amino acids like tyrosine, DLPA, vitamin C, etc.), i find myself in a different position nowdays. So here's the story:
Started dropping Feb 2005. did it pretty frequently (6 times) around then until April. Took a summer break (during that time i developped some pretty serious anxiety, waking in the middle on the night etc.) That all subsided and come labour day i was back in the habit. From Fall 05 until now i have been on an average of about once a month. Although i know i have been somewhere in between abusing and spacing it out a responsible time, it has now all caught up to me.
In October (06), went to a massive event (i should say my connection to dropping is intertwined with the EDM/rave scene), did way more than my usual of really strong ones (blue diamonds 3d), that being 4 over the course of about 10 hours. Obviously the next few days were shitty, but nothing out of the ordinary. Then around the weekend i started to feel an uncomfortable haze, as if the crackedness was not leaving. From then onwards i developed thesse symptoms:
-a feeling of dizziness, not so much that i will faint, but disorientation, ever so slight. Everytime i shifted my gaze, everything would shift momentarily, ever so slightly. depth perception was impaired. It was not just limited to a visual disturbance but rather a change in my body balance
-gradually i developped this crushing head pressure, as if it were filling up with fluid. I had alot of pain around my neck as if it were being pinched, and causing the head inflation.
-I also had this indescribable sense that there was something amiss, i couldnt describe it. I was sensitive to light, everythign seemed brighter. I also noticed towards the end, some visual strings in my field of view, which i now know very well to be FLOATERS.
Along the way, i had been many times to the doctor, done CTs, MRIs, blood tests, etc. As is the case with most people on these boards, everything looked fine, they couldnt find anything.
Finally I went for massage therapy for my aching back. It helped relieve tension, but the therapist said that i should have my neck checked out as my cervical vertebrae appeared misaligned.
I went to see a chiropractor (had no experience with them whatsoever). Got the X-ray back, and lo and behold there was a very visible kink in my neck: i had an atlas misalignment (where your head is not sitting on your spine straight, compressing important nerves).
check this site:
http://www.nucca.org/node/31
it appeared to be the only explanation for my symptoms. It held a lot of weight, since indeed if i had a weak atlas joint, raving for 10 hours could certainly take it to the tipping point. In any case, i followed up treatment (adjustments) and after about two weeks, my dizziness and balance loss actually cleared up. What remained was that "brightness" and the floaters, but since this process of healing is gradual, i considered myself on the path to recovery. I shoudl note that it was about 2 months after my binge and the onset of symtoms, that i sought chiropractic help, so about 3 months before I was in a state i deemed healthy. Perhaps it was the placebo, i cant be sure. I definitely have a misalignment and its correction will no doubt help, but i am now becoming certain that the majority of my issue is brain/mdma related. NOTE: i encourage you all to get your atlases checked; most people have dislodged it to some degree, it may alleviate some problems. Oddly enough, alot of people complain about neck/back pain with vs and hppd.
Anyway, the reason i accepted this answer was PRIMARILY because after searching DAY after DAY on the net for combinations like:
ecstasy/mdma, vision problems, balance, dizziness, etc. i found NOTHING. Just the usual, effects may last such as minor dizziness for a couple of weeks after. NOTHING to suggest such a profound delerium.
I thus fooled myself into thinking that this was not at all due to my e consumption, since i had never expereinced any long term effects. This led me to a foolish decision to pop again. It coincided with a pretty traumatic break up and so when I went out with my friends to another huge party, I definitely went beyond my means, consuming 4.5 (they were very clean, nothing weirf about them at all). In the following days, i was waiting to see if symtoms reappeared, since i expected by back/neck to be screwed up once again (but with the knowledge that it was easily fixable).
Three days later they came back on. I noticde the floaters even more and this time,, miraculously when i googled "Mdma, floaters", i was made aware of this horrifying condition known as HPPD (those of you who have made it this far in my post prolly already know what this is). I was shocked and terrified to learn that my inexplicable fuckedupness was infact a disorder! Although the full-blown version is typical of LSD users, i learned that indeed, E abuse led to the symptoms i showed. Particularly floaters and static vision (the "brightness")!!!
I have been scouring the net for information and experiences abotu X and hppd. It has been a little more than 3 weeks, and my condition is BAD. When i say bad, i know that full blown hppders would be thnakful to have what i have, but in no way can i function on a daily basis. I have read countless posts like mine "I did a lot of E and now my vision is all staticy"
Even worse, most of these cases seem to last forever!!
I guess im looking for some advice, some similar experiences from some E users. I know this is extremely rare (making it all the more frustrating). I have obviously stopped all drugs, although ive been taking to a couple of pints of beer fairly often , which at least take my mind off it temporarily. I realise ill have to stop that too.
The most debilitating thing for me is this returned feeling tof imbalance. Reading a computer screen is hard, there is so mcuh radiation coming from it.
The glare is too much, scrolling makes me lose my place, my vision is darted. I cant focus on one spot, its like a constant flickering everywhere, nothing is perfectly still. Walls and flat monochrome surfaces are very staticy. My neck is extremely tense again. Im getting tension-headache-like symptoms. Reading is so hard! The pages just flicker like a screen. trying to pay attention to a powerpoint presentation on a projection screen (at work: insurance firm in nyc) is unbearable! I also have tinnitus when it is really quiet.
I know that anxiety and focusing on these issues make them worse. They are jsut overwhelming. If you guys could shed light on my problem and what my prognosis might be (i know visual snow is categorized differently than hppd, but is equally as debilitating), i'd appreciate it. If you had symptoms similar to mine, did they dissipate within months, or longer (i know alot of you have persistent visual snow that has lasted years after dosing). The most confusing symptom that i dont find alot of posts on is the dizziness factor, the darting vision, the feeling of not having fluid visual movements, accompanied by a synchronous head buzz.
Thanks alot and i really appreciate you taking the time to read.
p.s. im 25 and so far i dont have any emotional dp/dr-like symptoms
also, there REALLY needs to be more awareness of vs and hppd within the e community...i know a LOTTT abotu risks and mechanisms of pharmacology, but i never ever heard about this until it was too late
