Heroin makes me happy

[TheUltimateFixx]

Do you think it's possible to try H just once and then never again?

You may be surprised but a majority of people who try heroin (or morphine) once, do not particularly enjoy the experience and aren't tempted to do it again. Lots of people react with nausea or itchiness more than anything else ; many others just experience a non-euphoric sensation of sedation which to them feels actively unpleasant. And yet others do get pleasurable effects but are simply underwhelmed - if you're expecting spectacular fireworks in the brain you're better off with coke and crack.

Someone like me who got intense pleasure from that first instance of use and immediately decided he wanted more of it may be the dominant cliché, but in reality is the exception.

 

[Delmonte421]

You can be fine using whatever, so long as you do not overly romanticise it in your mind and inflate it into this magical perfect cure for ALL of life's problems, or this one-and-only supreme pleasure to which NOTHING else compares. That's what I did for years with heroin and that's precisely why I got addicted.

PS still use heroin. No longer addicted.

oh yea im on a couch withdrawing from the 400mg oxy I took yesterday. Why? cause I cant afford that much daily and at 400mg in one dose, I don't even notice that much of a high..... so what's the point. I waited 15 hours and took 1/4 sub and 2mg Xanax. Thats where im at on a Sunday. I have enough oxy OC 80's to drop a horse or rhino but what's the point if I have to eat 5 to feel anything. Having 50 pills is 10 fucking days, if im lucky. Thats my paycheck plus any side hustle or loans I can scam up for more. I am fully addicted and if it wasn't so expensive, I wouldn't quit but it is and I cant do H, I be homeless in a month with my addiction.

I NEVER had physical withdrawals until those fake m30's now, I get them from everything.... getting old sucks

 

[Pritartrol]

You may be surprised but a majority of people who try heroin (or morphine) once, do not particularly enjoy the experience and aren't tempted to do it again. Lots of people react with nausea or itchiness more than anything else ; many others just experience a non-euphoric sensation of sedation which to them feels actively unpleasant. And yet others do get pleasurable effects but are simply underwhelmed - if you're expecting spectacular fireworks in the brain you're better off with coke and crack.

Someone like me who got intense pleasure from that first instance of use and immediately decided he wanted more of it may be the dominant cliché, but in reality is the exception.

Maybe I'm just drawn toward the dreamy ideal of it. Like that scene from The Wizard of Oz where they are in poppyland. I imagine it's the feeling you get when you lay down in a beautiful field on a sunny warm day surrounded by flowers.
So if it ever came my direction, I'm not sure I'd say no. My mind is open to new experiences and ideas. The only drug I've ever had an addiction problem with has been benzos. Hellish nightmare to get off of. Opiates, I've never had any trouble with, but I've never dabbled deeply into them you see. I've tried Hydros, Oxy's, Codeine and Morphine. I liked codeine and morphine but I didn't shit for a week and to be fair, that's just not healthy.

 

[axe battler]

Maybe I'm just drawn toward the dreamy ideal of it. Like that scene from The Wizard of Oz where they are in poppyland. I imagine it's the feeling you get when you lay down in a beautiful field on a sunny warm day surrounded by flowers.
So if it ever came my direction, I'm not sure I'd say no. My mind is open to new experiences and ideas. The only drug I've ever had an addiction problem with has been benzos. Hellish nightmare to get off of. Opiates, I've never had any trouble with, but I've never dabbled deeply into them you see. I've tried Hydros, Oxy's, Codeine and Morphine. I liked codeine and morphine but I didn't shit for a week and to be fair, that's just not healthy.

IMO heroin really isn't much better than morphine. Only difference is ROA. But 60-100mg of oral morphine with little-no tolerance is about A good as it gets unless you're talking about injecting, so unless you wanna do that you've probably had as much fun as you can get out of opiates. It's all fent in USA now anyway, if that's where you are.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

IMO heroin really isn't much better than morphine. Only difference is ROA. But 60-100mg of oral morphine with little-no tolerance is about A good as it gets unless you're talking about injecting

I prefer iv H to iv M because it seems to hit me better, and for some reason I also get way more of a histamine reaction with the latter which I don't enjoy. But oral yeah any opiate is golden for me so long as I can get it in sufficient strength and dosage. Apart from codeine which is weak shit and a last-resort stop gap.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Maybe I'm just drawn toward the dreamy ideal of it.

The ideal drug experience doesn't happen so often in real life but you can ruin yourself trying to chase it or re-capture it. So caution advised. The real danger isn't the substance, pharmacologically all it does TO you is sedate and maybe cause some euphoric sensations. What your mind can make of these effects is far more insidious, and can keep you desiring it against all better discretion.

So if it ever came my direction, I'm not sure I'd say no.

If you ever do try, I say smoke it. It's safer than the other methods because you don't administer a dose in one go and hope for the best ; instead it allows you to titrate and can just stop when you feel you're getting too intoxicated.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Do you get the euphoria that nod you get on heroin or is it just like a heavy pod dose where you nod but its not got the euphoria herion has do you know what i mean

There is a stimulating euphoria to fent if you’re clean or have low tolerance. It quickly becomes dull and lacking warmth and euphoria though

 

[yubacity]

There is a stimulating euphoria to fent if you’re clean or have low tolerance. It quickly becomes dull and lacking warmth and euphoria though

Yea that warmth is also a big part of it along with the euphoria. It really is a fucked up situation in the states you hear 100 000 deaths a year and it does alarm you but when you watch on youtube of parents or kids talking about the one death of your loved one it hits there is thousands and thousands of these stories each year

 

[VerbalTruist]

Do you think it's possible to try H just once and then never again? I've done almost everything else but I tend to dance around the "big 3" as I call them. Meth, H, and Crack. Yet my curiosity demands satisfaction. Sometimes I'll spend hours reading about drug experiences with these harder substances to be turned off by them, but at the same time I know that the truth cannot be found in words, it can only be felt as an experience. There-in lies the problem.

Yes, but it’s a dangerous line to play with. Have you tried any opiate ever?

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Yea that warmth is also a big part of it along with the euphoria. It really is a fucked up situation in the states you hear 100 000 deaths a year and it does alarm you but when you watch on youtube of parents or kids talking about the one death of your loved one it hits there is thousands and thousands of these stories each year

Yup as soon as they made oxycodone defacto illegal in 2016 there is a vertical spike in the death rates increasing by about 4X within less than two years

Another obvious lesson that prohibition just makes drug problems worse

 

[yubacity]

Yup as soon as they made oxycodone defacto illegal in 2016 there is a vertical spike in the death rates increasing by about 4X within less than two years

Another obvious lesson that prohibition just makes drug problems worse

People with an addiction to them turned to fent . In some countries they give herion pharma grade to heroin addict while giving support if they want to access rehab . The addicts would get there injections at sites where medical help is there if needed these addicts settled got work crime dropped infectious diseases stopped they got jobs started rebuilding lives . But our countries think no you cant give drugs out despite reports studies some funded by the government then not followed because not what they wanted

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

never iv opi?and usin so many years...thats strange really

It's not too strange if the person isn't a big fan of needles. lol
I've let other people I.V. me with things like methamphetamine & methylphenidate. But I always had to look the other way when they did it. lol
I've always been worried about things like endocarditis or air bubbles getting into my veins, so I didn't play around with that.

Personally when it comes to heroin, I use to snort mine & would feel it almost instantaneously.

Still got a rush and everything. Couldn't see the point of poking around in my veins when my nose worked just fine.

Sure, some may claim heroin is "better" injected, but honestly I didn't use it just to get a couple minute rush or to "get fucked up", I used it cause I enjoyed the effects & wanted to feel good & normal. Plus intranasal lasts a bit longer anyway, which is always worth it.

Most of the people I knew who used heroin also snorted it too. We use to get east coast powder heroin. Was easier to cut up a piece of rock, snort it & be on your way, instead of having to carry around a rig & find a place to inject.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Its weird how we so similar in our drug use 20 years nearly on heroin and 31 years of hard drug use crank coke heroin pregabalin . When my wife found out i on heroin i promised her i would never iv and kept that promise for about 17 years only iv it every couple of months but after i iv it smoking don quite hit the spot but i would never iv it other then once every month or 2 . Dont ever iv it because it on another level; and then the other ways don't seem to hit the spot

Yeah it's amazing how times flies honestly. lol
I say about 25 years using drugs because I started drinking alcohol & smoking weed around 12 or 13 years old.
By the time I was 16 years old, I was smoking weed & drinking just about everyday & had already tried shrooms, cocaine, crank & had numerous ecstasy experiences.
I had tried things like hydrocodone as a teenager (when I was drinking) and it made me throw up all the time & I couldn't quite understand the appeal they had to people.


It wasn't until I was 19 that I discovered tramadol & that about 400mg of that spaced over an hour had me completely blissed out and nodding out for hours.
And back then it was still uncontrolled, so pharmacies treated it like another tylenol & I had it in abundance.

Later in my 20's is when I met my heroin dealer & I started doing that on & off as well for about 4-5 years.
And then after about 10-11 years of using every month, I decided it was time for me to get on maintenance.
And now the last 5-6 years I've spent on buprenorphine, with some pain pill vacations here or there (not as many as I'd like tho lol).
I still count these last few years on bupe as my "opioid years", since technically it's still an opioid. Just not a very enjoyable one. lol


I'll be 35 soon but I feel about 80 with all the meth, alcohol, cough syrup, pills & mystery powders I've put in my body. lol

Idk I just never got into injecting my heroin. Probably cause I had a fear of needles. I always had to have other people IV me when I did inject anything. But that was only ever stimulants.

I'm sure IV heroin is different, but for me, intranasal was just fine.
My dealer use to give me uncut rocks most of the time, so I could just chip a piece of rock off, crush it into powder, up the schnozz & get on with my day.

Most of the people I knew who were using it too just used it intranasally.
If I had had some one around who wanted to inject for me, I might have done it.
But honestly, I got a rush within 2 minutes intranasal & felt just fine that way. Plus I've heard it has longer legs that way anyway.

There were also times I did get cut heroin from other people & I didn't like the idea of injecting benadryl or whatever other mystery powders might have been in there.

I don't really have access to opioids anymore. Zero interest in fentanyl (which about all there is around here anymore).

I've never IV'ed my buprenorphine either. Especially after reading case reports here of people's limbs rotting & what not from all the citric acid & sugars they put in subs. Yuck. I'm sure bupe aint worth IVing either anyway. lol Unless you're an extra in Reindeer Spotting.

 

[yubacity]

Yeah it's amazing how times flies honestly. lol
I say about 25 years using drugs because I started drinking alcohol & smoking weed around 12 or 13 years old.
By the time I was 16 years old, I was smoking weed & drinking just about everyday & had already tried shrooms, cocaine, crank & had numerous ecstasy experiences.
I had tried things like hydrocodone as a teenager (when I was drinking) and it made me throw up all the time & I couldn't quite understand the appeal they had to people.


It wasn't until I was 19 that I discovered tramadol & that about 400mg of that spaced over an hour had me completely blissed out and nodding out for hours.
And back then it was still uncontrolled, so pharmacies treated it like another tylenol & I had it in abundance.

Later in my 20's is when I met my heroin dealer & I started doing that on & off as well for about 4-5 years.
And then after about 10-11 years of using every month, I decided it was time for me to get on maintenance.
And now the last 5-6 years I've spent on buprenorphine, with some pain pill vacations here or there (not as many as I'd like tho lol).
I still count these last few years on bupe as my "opioid years", since technically it's still an opioid. Just not a very enjoyable one. lol


I'll be 35 soon but I feel about 80 with all the meth, alcohol, cough syrup, pills & mystery powders I've put in my body. lol

Idk I just never got into injecting my heroin. Probably cause I had a fear of needles. I always had to have other people IV me when I did inject anything. But that was only ever stimulants.

I'm sure IV heroin is different, but for me, intranasal was just fine.
My dealer use to give me uncut rocks most of the time, so I could just chip a piece of rock off, crush it into powder, up the schnozz & get on with my day.

Most of the people I knew who were using it too just used it intranasally.
If I had had some one around who wanted to inject for me, I might have done it.
But honestly, I got a rush within 2 minutes intranasal & felt just fine that way. Plus I've heard it has longer legs that way anyway.

There were also times I did get cut heroin from other people & I didn't like the idea of injecting benadryl or whatever other mystery powders might have been in there.

I don't really have access to opioids anymore. Zero interest in fentanyl (which about all there is around here anymore).

I've never IV'ed my buprenorphine either. Especially after reading case reports here of people's limbs rotting & what not from all the citric acid & sugars they put in subs. Yuck. I'm sure bupe aint worth IVing either anyway. lol Unless you're an extra in Reindeer Spotting.

Dont ever iv it my brother i was fine just smoking brown 17 years promise to my wife but i really wanted to feel what it like and as good as it is it keeps playing on mind i might have someone inject me every couple of months now i cant do it myself i shit it i only ever injec ted steroids into muscle .


I myself don't know how these 35 years have flown by my wife has never known me without drug use i don't know an adult life without drug use . But my health is fine constant relapsing and detox are what have made me look near my age people still say i look 30 35 I'm 46 . I have lots of regrets my whole youth lost to drugs now if I'm clean of everything i find life such a bore i function highly on drugs but don't function clean

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I've had major depression since I was a child though. At least on opioids, I get to have days where I can enjoy my life

Hard relate. Have suffered from clinical depression most of my life. First precursors of extended low mood without external causes at age 12, then at 19 I had my first major episode which lasted for six months and totally changed my life and my self-perception. Then add severe PTSD from actual traumatic events and you have the perfect storm.

It's practically a sacrilege in most circles to say so, but heroin saved my life ; nevermind that it also nearly killed me many times (which wouldn't have been an issue but for the illegality). It was what I needed when I needed it. It gave me respite.
PS No anti-depressant ever worked for me except amitryptiline, but that dulled ALL my emotions, not just the bad ones, so in the end I went off it because I didn't see the point of going through my life zombified.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Hard relate. Have suffered from clinical depression most of my life. First precursors of extended low mood without external causes at age 12, then at 19 I had my first major episode which lasted for six months and totally changed my life and my self-perception. Then add severe PTSD from actual traumatic events and you have the perfect storm.

It's practically a sacrilege in most circles to say so, but heroin saved my life ; nevermind that it also nearly killed me many times (which wouldn't have been an issue but for the illegality). It was what I needed when I needed it. It gave me respite.
PS No anti-depressant ever worked for me except amitryptiline, but that dulled ALL my emotions, not just the bad ones, so in the end I went off it because I didn't see the point of going through my life zombified.

Yeah it's really disheartening whenever I see people talking about how "deadly" and "evil" heroin is.
And then when I tell them how much it helped me & how it use to be acceptable to use & even available over the counter at one point they get defensive & throw out the ol' ad hominems.

Most thinking I'm joking or something. People just can't wrap their heads around it & of course don't believe me or just tell me I'm trying to justifying my "addiction".
I can legally drink myself to death but a drug that helps me function & get more done in life is "evil". This alone is enough to make me depressed. lol

My depression comes & goes. And manifests in all kinds of ways other than just "sadness" like most people think depression is. I get all over body aches, low mood, no enjoyment out of anything, no energy, no motivation, etc.. I'm sure you know how it goes UltimateFixx.

I had a tiny bit of success with venlafaxine when I was 27. But upon trying it again in my 30's, it kept giving me hand tremors & projectile vomiting. Pretty much all SSRIs/SNRI's make me puke & make my hands tremor. And they don't do shit for my depression. Unless you count being so sick tnat you don't have time to focus on your depression lol then in that case they "work".

Kniowing there's a drug out there that can make me feel better in an instant & knowing I can't access it or use it legally makes me question some times if I really want to even reach old age.

 

[yubacity]

Maybe I'm just drawn toward the dreamy ideal of it. Like that scene from The Wizard of Oz where they are in poppyland. I imagine it's the feeling you get when you lay down in a beautiful field on a sunny warm day surrounded by flowers.
So if it ever came my direction, I'm not sure I'd say no. My mind is open to new experiences and ideas. The only drug I've ever had an addiction problem with has been benzos. Hellish nightmare to get off of. Opiates, I've never had any trouble with, but I've never dabbled deeply into them you see. I've tried Hydros, Oxy's, Codeine and Morphine. I liked codeine and morphine but I didn't shit for a week and to be fair, that's just not healthy.

Its all sunny and warm at thew start just a little bit sorts you but it can become a nightmare especially when it a physical addiction

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Kniowing there's a drug out there that can make me feel better in an instant & knowing I can't access it or use it legally makes me question some times if I really want to even reach old age.

Exactly this. There's also still this somewhat puritanical attitude around with regards to drugs that have both a medicinal AND a recreational use, like the opiates, or cannabis. There's people that are fine with CBD products being legally available, but dead against anything containing THC because that might *gasp* get you high. Like a medicine is only 'supposed' to alleviate pain but heaven forbid it should give you any 'frivolous' pleasure.

PS I own a shirt that says 'Legalize Heroin'. Wearing that out in public has led to some... interesting conversations.

 

[Felonious Monk]

PS I own a shirt that says 'Legalize Heroin'. Wearing that out in public has led to some... interesting conversations.

I'd wear that over one of those stupid "Shoot your local heroin dealer" t-shirts. I could totally defend wearing a Legalize Heroin shirt. As long as I wasn't holding lol

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Exactly this. There's also still this somewhat puritanical attitude around with regards to drugs that have both a medicinal AND a recreational use, like the opiates, or cannabis. There's people that are fine with CBD products being legally available, but dead against anything containing THC because that might *gasp* get you high. Like a medicine is only 'supposed' to alleviate pain but heaven forbid it should give you any 'frivolous' pleasure.

PS I own a shirt that says 'Legalize Heroin'. Wearing that out in public has led to some... interesting conversations.

Totally agree.
It's like people forgot that recreation can also be medicine.
People's ignorance & unwillingness to see it any other way is incredibly frustrating & never ceases to amaze me.

Lol @ the shirt. I should get one like that too. Try and start a movement. lol
I do own one that says "Wish You Were Here" but the "re" on 'here' is crossed out & says "oin" instead. lol It's pretty faded at this point though from having worn it so much the past several years.

I don't have any hope for humanity changing anything in my lifetime tho. My only hope now is hoping I don't live on to my 50's & 60's, cause it would be hell having to endure such an idiotic world for that long.