Is there any man who is 165/ 5'5 and has had an attractive girlfriend?

[menidiatis]

I have a 7/10 face as rated by my female friends, a good body (slim waist wide shoulders and nicely shaped in general), and I have really maxxed my personality (again female friends have said I am cool, funny, outgoing guy). I dance salsa, I am working on opening a business, I have principles that I live by, I have goals in life, I have passion yada yada

I was suffering from severe social anxiety all my life until now (so never had gf), and I worked extremely hard all alone doing CBT for 4 years. Only now I have reached the point that I can finally start asking women out.

I am afraid however that women don't take me seriously because of my height and I won't be given a chance. Considering that in everything else I am doing well (in terms of looks and personality I mean), I don't see any other culprit as to why attractive girls never seem to be interested in me. Even worse I live in the Netherlands, so being 165 here means I am shorter than the women. I feel like at best I am perceived as comical, at worst I am perceived as deformed.

My question is, are there any short men here on this forum that have similar characteristics (ie decent looking but not model like, and with a solid personality) who have had success with getting an attractive woman? By attractive I don't mean Doutzen Kroes, I mean a woman that similarly is a 7/10 in the face, has a decent body and who understands me and we can have a deep intimate connection. I am not looking for ONS or FWBs, I am very well aware that I don't cut it for these kind of relationships with my height, and I don't seek them anyway as I am pretty sensitive and emotional.

Is there any hope for me? Or is it just my destiny that I will die alone with foil and brown powder?

Please no sugar coating and virtue signalling, especially if you are a lady answering please be honest, if you think short guys are gross / repulsive actually say it. There's nothing that hurts me more than my pain being underestimated, and being presented as it is all in my head, it is very derogatory and painful.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Let me take a swing at this. Some women don't want to date men that are smaller in stature than them. Women prefer to look up into a man's eyes as opposed to down.

However Nicole Kidman ( quite tall) and Tom Cruise (quite short ) made it work for awhile. I would hit on women that were your same height or shorter that fit the other qualifications. You're more likely to get a yes when you ask them out.

Just make sure it's not " the brown powder and foil " that is scaring them away.

Shorter men are not gross or repulsive in any way. I have dated several ( but I'm only 5'2 ) so it's not like I was 5'7.

Keep on working on your pick up skills and you will have a date in no time. I have seen some gorgeous short females and some totally hot short guys.

 

[Jabberwocky]

It’s an interesting question. Thanks for sharing so much about yourself - it’s just the kind of post and question we want in SLR.

Firstly. I’m 5’8 and a lot of the time I just don’t think about my height. However, when I was at school and in the army I was definitely in the bottom quartile for height. But it only bothered me in physical competition, not with women. Although I remember noticing that the six foot tall guys always had a girlfriend plus a kind of hovering gaggle of other girls waiting for whenever they decided to change their girlfriend.

What is more important to recognise is that you are interpreting your circumstances based on suppositions you are making about how they think and what they value. Your first problem there is you simply cannot know what is going on in someone’s head and you can miss a lot of opportunities or end up in a lot of trouble in life by getting your assumptions about what people want or don’t wrong.

The other potential problem I see here is that you are mentally grouping all women into a single type with just one set of preferences about men/relationships. Thinking this way is surprisingly common here in SLR and it’s almost universally present in posting by guys unhappy about never having had a meaningful relationship but now wanting one in their early 30’s.

 

[Kellsee]

This is one of the reasons I always wished I was shorter. With my height and the fact that I love to be dominated I am more attracted to taller men. But everyone is different and there's always someone for everyone. Don't look at these issues as limitations.

I mean because I enjoy being submissive...not love to be dominated. I don't like the way that sounds...no lol

 

[JackARoe]

I know dating is different than getting serious. But if someone wants to get serious I have found when looking for a partner the attributes high on the list are do you trust your partner? Do they trust you? Can you count on them? Can they count on you? Do they have integrity and do they respect you and you them? I don't care how "hot" a woman or guy is if they don't respect or you can't count on them they are useless. You want someone to trust and count on. You want someone that will listen and give opinions from the heart.

Physical attributes are important But I have dated girls that I did not find physically attractive yet got hooked on them. Now married 18 years I know what is most important and I got it.

For guys worried about being too short just look at the pictures of actors and actresses on the Red Carpet. The woman wear big heals and tower over the men. That is normal these days.

 

[Damnn]

I'm 6ft6 (200cm) never be attractive to women or others

 

[Phoenix_03]

Not sure what your actual height is when you say 165...inches? I'm a 5'1" female, so almost every guy I encounter is taller than me. I love tall men, but also am attracted to men only a few inches taller than me. I'm not into guys my height, just because I'm so small and I like looking up into someone's eyes or having to reach up to kiss them. There are definitely a world of women out there who would love to be in a relationship with you, height be damned. If your personality is as great as it sounds, that's your ticket in. Don't let any insecurities hold you back, that will just make you come across as unsure of yourself and women prefer confidence.

Edited to add how dumb that sounded asking if you meant 165 inches . I swear I'm not this stupid usually.

 

[Mjäll]

If a woman is a girlfriend, that means she must have attracted a mate. The term "attractive girlfriend" seems tautological to me. Probably you have some undefined cutoff point in mind. I don't mean to be a smartass - i just think this is something you could reflect on, so i want to emphasize it a bit.

The question becomes difficult because we don't know the cutoff point. I would guess the most attractive woman ever didn't choose a short guy, but you probably don't have to lower the cutoff point very far in order to find some short males selected. Maybe in percentile 99,9999 of female hotness you start finding 165cm tall males as partners. That doesn't tell us much about likelihood though.

Your question boils down to observing the facts: Being short as a male is a disadvantage, but not the only factor. It may be a dealbreaker to some women, but not all. You're already working toward your goal. If anything, i get the feeling you need to relax a bit and just let things happen.

Good luck.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I have a 7/10 face as rated by my female friends, a good body (slim waist wide shoulders and nicely shaped in general), and I have really maxxed my personality (again female friends have said I am cool, funny, outgoing guy). I dance salsa, I am working on opening a business, I have principles that I live by, I have goals in life, I have passion yada yada

I was suffering from severe social anxiety all my life until now (so never had gf), and I worked extremely hard all alone doing CBT for 4 years. Only now I have reached the point that I can finally start asking women out.

I am afraid however that women don't take me seriously because of my height and I won't be given a chance. Considering that in everything else I am doing well (in terms of looks and personality I mean), I don't see any other culprit as to why attractive girls never seem to be interested in me. Even worse I live in the Netherlands, so being 165 here means I am shorter than the women. I feel like at best I am perceived as comical, at worst I am perceived as deformed.

My question is, are there any short men here on this forum that have similar characteristics (ie decent looking but not model like, and with a solid personality) who have had success with getting an attractive woman? By attractive I don't mean Doutzen Kroes, I mean a woman that similarly is a 7/10 in the face, has a decent body and who understands me and we can have a deep intimate connection. I am not looking for ONS or FWBs, I am very well aware that I don't cut it for these kind of relationships with my height, and I don't seek them anyway as I am pretty sensitive and emotional.

Is there any hope for me? Or is it just my destiny that I will die alone with foil and brown powder?

Please no sugar coating and virtue signalling, especially if you are a lady answering please be honest, if you think short guys are gross / repulsive actually say it. There's nothing that hurts me more than my pain being underestimated, and being presented as it is all in my head, it is very derogatory and painful.

My fiancé is about the same height as you, and I'm 5'10". It isn't a problem for us. Your personality, confidence, and how you treat people are MUCH more important than your height You'll find the right girl when the time is right

 

[menidiatis]

My fiancé is about the same height as you, and I'm 5'10". It isn't a problem for us. Your personality, confidence, and how you treat people are MUCH more important than your height You'll find the right girl when the time is right

about the same height as in 5'6 or about the same height as in 5'8? cause these are two different worlds

if I was 5'8 I wouldn't have a single problem in my life. at least I would be perceived as a man and not as a joke like I am now

 

[n3ophy7e]

about the same height as in 5'6 or about the same height as in 5'8? cause these are two different worlds

if I was 5'8 I wouldn't have a single problem in my life. at least I would be perceived as a man and not as a joke like I am now

He's about 5'6.

Height isn't everything dude. I highly doubt you are "a joke". And if you are considered a joke to anyone, they definitely are not worth your time and energy. The right person for you will be a similar height to you and/or they won't care about height. If YOU act as though your height is a problem, people will treat you that way. Does that make sense?

 

[JTemperance]

My question is, are there any short men here on this forum that have similar characteristics (ie decent looking but not model like, and with a solid personality) who have had success with getting an attractive woman?

One of my best friends in high school topped out at 5'6". He had attractive girlfriends then, and has an attractive wife now. I don't ever remember the issue of his height coming up once. First of all, 5'6" is not really that short, just a couple of inches shy of average. (Granted, you live in Holland, the tallest country on Earth, so it's a little shorter there than in my Italian-American community.)

But mainly, he never broached the topic or had any sort of neurosis over it, he just sought out whichever girl caught his eye with complete confidence and was usually successful (which is more than I could do at 5'10").

I had another friend in my 20s who was 5'4"/160cm. By contrast, he did have some resentments and insecurities over his height that came out occasionally when we were drunk. I was always surprised to hear that, because I had stopped noticing our height difference very quickly. He tended to have lots of breakups and infatuations, but he was never single for very long.

I ended up in a long relationship with a woman who had gone out with him, so of course I would say he had "attractive" girlfriends, even though I don't really have a clue how that could have an objective meaning, let alone be ranked from 1 to 10.

Do you have to stay in the Netherlands indefinitely? No prospects back in the Mediterranean? If you feel like being short is a problem, it is going to become a problem, one that's compounded by living in the single worst country for somebody with your insecurities.

In any event, I sympathize, because it's not all in your head -- it does seem like there are widespread biases against shorter men (as well as taller women; I had a female friend who was easily 6'3" and she had a very hard time.)

 

[Jabberwocky]

Just on that comment about “being a joke”…and not directed at OP.

It’s part of an Australian culture that existed in my lifetime but that I think was one of the first things killed by the early woke movement:

Basically if someone had a disabling, embarrassing, or unusual characteristic then friends and work associates - often beginning at school - would refer to that person commonly in terms of that characteristic by way of an often ironic nickname.

For example if you were very short they might call you lofty. I can still rebember an ex-jockey friend of my grandfather that everybody only ever called “stilts”.

I just mention it cause it was a time not so long ago where I don’t think so many people had the kind of feelings or emotions expressed by the OP:

All these nicknames were given with a sense of humour and affection and people idemtified with their own ones a lot. They normalised and took away the potential negativity ot all kinds of stuff that people might have got hung up or felt insecure about.

And if kids or young people were initially hurt or embassed by what people were calling them then they quickly learned one of the most important qualites a person can have: resiliance.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I'm 5'7 and I had one gorgeous girlfriend who was 5'8.
But yeah it's not like women are falling over themselves to date me.

Add to that the fact my bits don't measure up.
The girls who don't discard me out of hand for being a short arse usually reconsider once I drop my trousers. Hopefully at least ya haven't got THAT problem on top of the other; 'cause lemme just say it sucks when the minute you finally make it to the bedroom the other person remembers somewhere else they suddenly need to be.
I stay away from dating because I just feel inadequate in every way.

Thankfully the guy I'm with doesn't mind the stature or the dick size. So there's hope but more with regards to a serious relationship (where other things count) rather than loads of casual sex. Trouble is persuading someone to give you a go in the first place.

# shrugs # Such is life.

 

[menidiatis]

Same kind of answers I always get at the end of the day

Not that people have bad intentions or don't want to help, but it is all bs, and the fact remains most women perceive me as deformed

I am on a goal to ask out a 100 women. Thus far I ve had 3 rejections. I ll update this thread every 10 rejections

I just need to confirm for myself that I am repulsive to. Women so that then I have a legit excuse to stay on heroin for the rest of my life

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Same kind of answers I always get at the end of the day

Not that people have bad intentions or don't want to help, but it is all bs, and the fact remains most women perceive me as deformed

I am on a goal to ask out a 100 women. Thus far I ve had 3 rejections. I ll update this thread every 10 rejections

I just need to confirm for myself that I am repulsive to. Women so that then I have a legit excuse to stay on heroin for the rest of my life

Nobody's gonna see you as 'deformed' if you got a good face and decent body.

But yeah fact is the majority of women don't fancy short guys no matter how attractive, just like the majority of guys don't wanna go with a fat chick.
Nobody wants to admit that because it's not 'polite' to say but everyone bloody knows it.

... However man you 're going on your dating mission with the EXPECTATION of getting rejected. That's gonna be a self - fulfilling prophecy. No prospective date will wanna stick around anyone projecting this amount of resentment and self - hatred. That's gonna scupper any chances you might otherwise have. Don't make this an exercise in emotional self - harm mate, that's not the way to go about it.

 

[Phoenix_03]

about the same height as in 5'6 or about the same height as in 5'8? cause these are two different worlds

if I was 5'8 I wouldn't have a single problem in my life. at least I would be perceived as a man and not as a joke like I am now

My father in law is about my height (5'1"), maybe slightly taller. His wife is several inches taller. He's one of the greatest guys I've ever met personality wise and size means nothing cuz he can more than likely beat your ass. He was a fighter (and nuts) when younger, took Akido (sp?) classes and is a 3rd degree black belt. Thankfully his temper has gone down with age but that small man is seriously is one HELL of a man.

 

[menidiatis]

My father in law is about my height (5'1"), maybe slightly taller. His wife is several inches taller. He's one of the greatest guys I've ever met personality wise and size means nothing cuz he can more than likely beat your ass. He was a fighter (and nuts) when younger, took Akido (sp?) classes and is a 3rd degree black belt. Thankfully his temper has gone down with age but that small man is seriously is one HELL of a man.

No woman nowadays cares if you can beat someone

In fact if you are small and threaten some physically they ll call you a compensating manlet

There s no way to win if you are short

 

[axe battler]

It’s an interesting question. Thanks for sharing so much about yourself - it’s just the kind of post and question we want in SLR.

Firstly. I’m 5’8 and a lot of the time I just don’t think about my height. However, when I was at school and in the army I was definitely in the bottom quartile for height. But it only bothered me in physical competition, not with women. Although I remember noticing that the six foot tall guys always had a girlfriend plus a kind of hovering gaggle of other girls waiting for whenever they decided to change their girlfriend.

What is more important to recognise is that you are interpreting your circumstances based on suppositions you are making about how they think and what they value. Your first problem there is you simply cannot know what is going on in someone’s head and you can miss a lot of opportunities or end up in a lot of trouble in life by getting your assumptions about what people want or don’t wrong.

The other potential problem I see here is that you are mentally grouping all women into a single type with just one set of preferences about men/relationships. Thinking this way is surprisingly common here in SLR and it’s almost universally present in posting by guys unhappy about never having had a meaningful relationship but now wanting one in their early 30’s.

Good point. Also if you're using the foil and brown powder, this is the top priority - stop any way you can right now.

 

[axe battler]

No woman nowadays cares if you can beat someone

In fact if you are small and threaten some physically they ll call you a compensating manlet

There s no way to win if you are short

I know some small men have chips on their shoulders, but having a low centre of gravity can be a good thing provided you have a bit of bulk.

And there are women out there that like a "hard man".