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Confess Your Drug Sins Here, 1 at a time.

Got my ex into doing/snorting pain killers. We also sold vitamins at school claiming they were anything from E to K, because people are stupid. Took a pill I found in my grandma's kitchen assuming it was a pain killer, when it was actually just her blood pressure medication. Spent months lying about side effects of multiple medications in an effort to get my psychiatrist to prescribe me Xanax, then quit taking it 6 months later because I accidentally got so high that all I did was lay in bed and piss myself (twice). Had sex with said ex so that she'd give me back my fucking codeine (this was after we split, and I wanted nothing to do with her).
Y'know, all your basic teenage 'aspiring druggie' bull shit.
 
I have used plenty of opiates from relatives who were very ill. I knew that somehow they would get their medication back. I believe that when you have already gone too far, everything seems so okay and justified.
 
few drinks , 9 xanax and few hours later blacked out on side of the road
 
Spent money that my family could have used.

Stayed out all night and returning home just in time to shower and go to work instead of spending time with my wife and kids.
 
^ Have done that too. It feels pretty bad.

I have once travelled without telling my wife where I was going or when I would go back.
 
Ive spent the majority of the last year high on 3 meo pcp.
 
Many drug sins with no more regret. Regret gets you nowhere as you usually repeat them eventually. I do what I can to just move forward. Dwelling on my past never got me anywhere and I did plenty of regretting.
 
It happens unconsciously for some people I guess. I don't think we want to feel regret, and live in the past but sobering makes it happens for many of us unfortunately. I suppose that making peace with your past is part of moving forward imo/e.
 
Yeah.. I guess I know the feeling. :\ You want to have things done when you are chasing but then you don't want it anymore.
 
Erikmen said:
OD'ed twice in less than 2 weeks.
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Ive done that twice in literally 2 hours :\

What bothers me the most though is spending $ 50k of disability money in one year mostly on drugs. Was homeless on the street with 30k in the bank since i didnt wanna spend the money on a room.
 
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^ You need to stop Nib!! Like now. ODs can take you to a very dark place.
 
Sold valuables. Lied to the wife or just blew her off completely. The one thing I feel most guilty about is staying out all night whilst the wife was at home pregnant and sick. She called that night and I didn't notice. I got the message a few days later and she was crying and begging me to come home. I have never felt so bad in my life and I refuse to ever let her down like that again. Now I go to work and come home and that's it. Been that way a few years now.
 
^ Suggest you try to talk to her if you think that can still work or make a difference in both of your lives. Talk with all your honesty and let her blame you if that's the case. It's difficult for some people to understand how addiction work but easier for us to understand how they feel.
 
Erikmen said:
^ Suggest you try to talk to her if you think that can still work or make a difference in both of your lives. Talk with all your honesty and let her blame you if that's the case. It's difficult for some people to understand how addiction work but easier for us to understand how they feel.
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Dude, my wife is the coolest. We've talked and she's over it. It's me that feels like I have to work the rest of my life to make sure something like that never happens again.
 
^ Yes, I know gmlifer. Mine expects me to be sober for the rest of my life which I suppose it's possible, except that she has literally requested me to promise that. And we both know I cannot do that, not again. I can promise it today, tomorrow, not in 10 or 20 years from now. Who knows..:\
 
^ mine just accepts it, even though we both hate it and want it to stop....I know It just won't stop permanently even though i manage to keep getting fucked up down to twice a week or so now, and one day when someone dies or something else bad happens I know I will have no control.........back when i was in chronic pain recovering from spine surgery i just totally lost all restraint, spent thousands, ODed. I'm not good at handling dissapointment
 
I'm fearful of relapsing. I feel I have gone so far this time and having seen that everything changed so much that going back to that life I had would be a major set back and for sure they (family + new friends) would never trust me anymore, for real. I think my last time sober was already when they didn't trust me already but then I am 2 years sober and my life is totally different. I was so fuc.. worried last winter that I cancelled my holiday trip last year thinking I was gonna relapse. I'm a little more confident now, but not yet sure about never ever, it's not impossible. But I don't think none of us can surely say that.
 
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