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You might be an alcoholic if..

You might alcoholism if you stay at friends house and drinks their expired beer because its two birds with one stone

/rn
 
Expired beer? What?

-if the bartenders at your bar don't ask what you'll have and just go with "the usual?" up to the point where they know how warm you like your beer
-if 3 litres of beer in an evening is "just have a drink, keep it low" for you, for the most days
-if despite drinking like a fish you never blackout anymore, or puke. Or even feel sick
-if when someone says they can't wait for Friday to get wasted, you have a little giggle inside
-if for the life of you you can't understand how someone can have "idle" alcohol in their household without it being devoured in a single day
-if at times you look at people and think to yourself "what did they do last night? they probably went to bed sober. How do they do that?" and become a little sad
-if the days of spending money on all kinds of different alcohol because you enjoyed it are way past you and you just stick to the cheapest option possible
 
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You might be an alcoholic if you rotate liquor or convenience stores so the clerks won't suspect you're a drunk.
 
^ I think that's giving way too much credit to the average drunk's self-consciousness.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
^ I think that's giving way too much credit to the average drunk's self-consciousness.
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Lol, then maybe I wasn't as bad off as I thought. Yes I was. Even though I had the self-awareness to rotate stores, I'd still go not having changed clothes or showered for upwards of a week. Even longer when I was at my worst.
 
Not showered upwards a week? Way to make me feel bad. Anyway:

if you go to a store to buy quite a lot of alcohol and within a couple hours you're back buying more with the clerk looking at you like "what.."
 
You might be a drinker if your only memory from the night prior was sitting on your friend's shoulders, walking through the Churches drive-in, spending an indeterminate (but no doubt inordinate) amount of time trying to get them to fry you eggs (...because...they have chickens, so why not eggs...?), demanding club soda (they don't have it), and eventually trying to stuff another friend into the ordering window.
You might be an alcoholic if this sort of thing is the norm.
 
You might be an alcoholic if benzodiazepines can't even fully ease the shakes.

You take out the recyclables once/several x's a day to hide the amount of alcohol you've consumed from your family.

You pound beers in the parking lot before you walk into work and on break.

You drink the most vulgar fucking, ancient bottle of mezcal to get hammered, all the while gagging it down on the verge of vomiting with every gulp.

When no amount of beer can ease the shakes and liquor is the only cure.

When you're anxiously waiting until 5 am when the gas station starts selling alcohol again, looking like a fucking lunatic as the other costumers are getting their morning cup of coffee, cigarettes, and filling up their tanks on the way to work.

As was said, you look young as fuck, but certain corner-stores and gas stations no longer need to check your ID. They know the routine.

When somebody looks under your bed to find NOT some clothes, socks or dust, but strictly empty beer cans.

When you drink excessively despite having Hep C from IV drug use and don't care.
 
You (I) might be an alcoholic if you think you're a better people person/more productive after a drink(s).
 
When you finish drinking and get in your car, and no one bats an eye because always having a drink in your hand is normal behavior
 
Renz Envy said:
If you wake up, not hungover, but still drunk and have another drink. (Actually is a pretty fun experience until about 6PM when the hangover finally hits you.)
Click to expand...

this tbh
when you know you are just delaying the inevitable
but don't give a fuck
 
...if your breakfast is a handful of antacids and valiums washed down with Evan Williams

...if that bottle of Evan Williams moves from the kitchen to right next to your bed because you can't make it to the kitchen without a few pulls of whiskey first

...if your hands keep shaking even though you are drinking all day

...if you have to have surgery, tell the doctor your an alcoholic, receive continuous sedatives to prevent DTs, but STILL almost die from DTs and have to go on an ethanol drip

...if the quality of car you drive gets progressively worse and worse because you total each vehicle after a few months because you're always driving drunk

...if you've got a suspended license due to DWIs but you still drive drunk because you're never NOT drunk

...if you carry around a fast food cola cup that's actually half filled with Evan Williams when you go shopping (or anything else outside the house)

...if you have bleeding stomach ulcers from non-stop drinking, but you still don't put the bottle down

...if Evan Williams becomes too expensive so you switch to 10 High and then finally to the cheapest 80 proof the store has period

...if you have $8 in your family's bank account and you spend it on a bottle instead of on food for your kids


These are all things I've seen from close family members, mainly while growing up and as a young teenager many moons ago. Surprisingly, I never had a real problem with booze myself, even though pretty much every member of my family has to varying degrees.

And I ended up being the bad guy in my family because of my dope habits... Alcoholism used to be almost 'OK', while us junkies were utterly demonized. Nowadays I think alcoholics have a pretty nasty stigma around them too.
 
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If you have a drinking contest with someone involving Everclear, for fuck's sake.

If you get drunk so much hangovers aren't even a thing for you, but still wake up the next day wondering how you ended up on the floor.

If you can count and remember drinking 10 shots of 40% vodka.

If you have a giant bruise on your arm from falling off the bed but you still drink the next time.

If you take clear liquor from your family and replace it with water. Hahaha, the good ol' days.
 
Man I had a rough day... Let's drink!
Fuck, I feel great today! Let's drink!
It feels awesome outside! Let's drink!
Damn it's miserable outside! Let's drink!

Drinker gonna drink.
 
gmlifer said:
Man I had a rough day... Let's drink!
Fuck, I feel great today! Let's drink!
It feels awesome outside! Let's drink!
Damn it's miserable outside! Let's drink!

Drinker gonna drink.
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This is me pretty much. Unless I have work or a mandatory appointment, I'm planning on the drink
 
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