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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

BDD Social and Info Booth Vs 28 - my dealer told me that this was the last time

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Afternoon peeps, the mailman has made me distraught today with his non delivery of package that always comes in 2 days but it is 2 days and it has not come, was going to take to france with me, but now I will be taking nothing but myself.

How are the rest of BDD?
 
I'm ready :) Underprepared in terms of chems since the mailman was mean today.

:sus:
 
can you give me a few examples of how the CBT is helping you out? if you don't mind sharing.
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Well, the disorder is a form of PTSD. You associate colors with traumatic events. In my teen years I would start panicking when I saw certain colors such as on television, me and my family didn't make the link until a year later when I was about 15 as it would only occur at limited periods of time. First a psychotherapist diagnosed it, we assessed the events that I associate with certain colors, a car accident where I was driving in a fast car full of friends at nearly 300 kph, we were drunk coming home from a club on the fast lane, a cab suddenly switched lanes ahead of me, I wasn't paying attention, I slammed the brakes and managed not to hit it, but the truck behind me hit me so hard that the car was sandwiched, me and the passenger next to me got away with some injuries, two in the back died and one was paralyzed.

Chromophobia manifests in the classic symptoms of panic attacks, so what CBT does is isolate those colors, introduce them in a therapeutic environment for longer periods as the CBT progresses, allows you to learn to control the triggers of panic/behavior through identifying the feelings of guilt and shame. It's difficult because during some CBT sessions you don't respond to the colors that your chromophobic from, so you either keep trying or switch the session to behavior modification.

I noticed that when I take MDMA it never happens, and I don't for the life of me know why, I think it's because it's effective in treating PTSD and it lets you access your feelings easier. I asked my therapist if I could introduce it into my therapy and he said it would be unethical for him to allow it, but my city along with an organization called MAPS or MDMA assisted psychotherapy are working on allowing it in sessions. Once they do my therapist promised to bring in pharmaceutical grade MDMA into his practice specifically for me.
 
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BDD social making a big comeback, huh? Right on.

It's another shitty rainy day in NY... patiently waiting for spring to come. It's so hard to be sober in the winter... I just want to be warrrmmm.
 
mr .scagnattie, did you change your username on becoming a mod because joining in 2004 I really don't recognise that username, not that I frequent OD too much nowadays anyway, but just curious, who are you?????????? 8o
 
tentram said:
maaaaaaaaate!

my mate just came for a visit before he had to head off and do a few things before he heads to a birthday party tonight. we did manage to plan a camping trip next week so we can get out of town and make a bit of mischief. catch some sun, sand and beach while we're down there as well :)

no booze unfortunately, bro (well i have like 3 shots of whiskey left over in a bottle but i'm having a milk coffee and i don't want no curdling to happen should i mix with some fizzy stuff, ya dig?) fortunately i am nicely buzzed on some morphine and valium and chain smoking.

also on the bright side - dad has just gone to pick up a nice fat juicy watermelon that we can hook into. i fucking love me some watermelon. vodka infused watermelon is the tits as well!

and dude, this heat is killing me. i've had about 3L of water to drink today and it's just sweating right out my sexay boday! it's the fucking humidity. i think it's sitting around 80% or some bullshit like that:|

what you been up to you little rascal?
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Camping sounds very nice! Beach and booze sounds very very nice aswell ;)

Boooo, coffee and milk is way mire boring than vodka and coffee. Lol
Vodka infused watermelon is the tots though, I agree! I remember getting super drunk at work (at my pool) of that shit, it was very delicious too!

I don't miss the heat, even though its like 70degrees here in the middle of winter..zzzz....I can't even understand what 110 degree weather would feel like, especially with humidity.

This past week, I've been exercising and enjoying sobriety...lolol
I reall really really want to take some bupre today, but I'm trying to hold off one more day. Bleh. Just some green tea, ciggs, and exercise forbme today !
 
Ay mugs and debaser, how are yall doing?
I'm assuming the sobriety is no more ;)

I hope everything worked out in the end mugzy !
 
laCster said:
Ay mugs and debaser, how are yall doing?
I'm assuming the sobriety is no more ;)

I hope everything worked out in the end mugzy !
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The sobriety never really started to be honest, but the cutting back and moderating usage did and not getting into too much trouble too. Most trouble I've been in was with alcohol, drank 4 sambucas and then ended up being asked to leave a bar.
 
Oh well I'm glad you are keeping out of trouble! :)

That story of getting kicked out from the bar made me chuckle a bit...

Cuntram oz jellouz of of my sezy hair-do. I kno, if I wuz in ur positiinz, I wuld be too....LMAO
 
I wanna go to the Sacre-Couer tomorrow, but Lou says no, I guess we will have to compromise.
 
Sacre Coeur? Tyme for googlez


Show Lou who is boss Breh!

Ooh, are you catholic? Either way it would be kewl to see that giant ass castle church thing
 
Nah I'm not religious, I just remember it being good last time I went, which was over 10 years ago, so maybe it's not as good now.
 
mr.scagnattie said:
BDD social making a big comeback, huh? Right on.

It's another shitty rainy day in NY... patiently waiting for spring to come. It's so hard to be sober in the winter... I just want to be warrrmmm.
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Good point.

I find the Autumn/Winter Months extremely hard (In the U.K it's usually grim from October-March) Something makes me just want to get messy!

Somehow i've managed 34 days off the Benzos/25 days off the Opiates.... I'm struggling!!! :( All my thinking is based around finding an oppurtunity to use.
 
Wow, 34 off benzos and 24 off opiates? That is a reall accomplishment! I can barely be sober for 3 days straight.

Be proud of yourself and reward yourself with something that isn't opiates, benzos, or psychoactive drugs. Maybe eat your favorite meal, play your favorite video gamex or watch your favorite movie!
Good look Pete!
 
yeah, well done pete, that is some achievement. I feel like I could probably do a month without benzos again, but I'd rather not at this time.
 
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