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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

BDD Social and Info Booth Vs 28 - my dealer told me that this was the last time

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I know how you feel man. In the beginning, the opiates are literally breath-taking, and provide a much needed spice to life, however after a while it becomes a pain to be a slave to an inanimate pill. Waking up in WD, worrying about your supply, having to plan your day around the oxy, and most importantly, having to use oxy to enjoy things in life you know you DON'T need oxy to enjoy, especially to your girl. I bet she gets frustrated because she knows you love her, but the oxy is just that powerful that your true intentions dissipate and the number one becomes opiates.

Don't we all wish we never started opiates? I do, I think about what my life would be like if I never picked up in the first place. Then I realize how bored how bored I would be, and the cycle starts all over again...

It's hard enough to break a habit such as playing to many video games or using fowl language which doesn't get you high, and it is that much harder to stop something that provides something that simply cannot be described by words...

Forget about that shit for now, you probably already took the oxy today so there is nothing you can do at this moment. Focus where your feet are at, enjoy the movie and the company of your lovely girl.

Much love,
Lac
 
Yeah I took the oxy... But today is my last day. I'm giving in all the oxy to tomorrow. I'm determined to get off this shit for good though. It might take a while but I can do this anymore, hiding away in secrecy all the time, lying to everyone and just being unhappy. I want to take control of my life again.
 
Snorted about 2 points of m-amp (anhydrous) earlier today after taking my 30 mg of Vyvanse (which doesn't do jack shit on it's own for me lol), 300mg of lyrica, 200mg of tramadol, and a wee bit of gabapentin (I traded some of my bupe that I don't take at all anymore for the speed early this morning). About to sniff up another couple points (or around that much) and enjoy the stimulation (I'm actually talkative (a rarity in RL), I feel less anxious (I wasn't having a lot of the issues I normally have in class)), and it's not making me super fucked up (I just feel a bit of a glow and actually have energy). I also traded 3 of my Subs for 6 Norcos and took all of them about an hour and a half ago. Not feeling like I'm "opiated" other than pain relief and a very slight itch. Today's been a good day; I actually have energy, I'm less anxious (at about a 3 instead of the 5-6 baseline I'm normally at if you were to rate anxiety like pain), and I'm at a 5 on the pain scale instead of a 6.5 or 7.

How's everyone else doing? laCster, Synthetix, Hangyourhead, Tentram, Mugs, Chromophobia, everyone?

SYNTHETIX: good job at wanting to improve your life. You have a tough road ahead of you, and there will be many challenges, but I wish you the very best of luck. I hope the methadone maintenance will help you as well. It sucks to be a slave to something, and not being able to function without whatever it is. Mine has always been cigarettes lol. I've been able to kick m-amp (except for the times here and there separated by 8+ months just to have a little fun), but cigarettes are by far the hardest thing for me to give up. I call them, "Sanity Stix," for a reason, you know, lol. But seriously though, good luck, and, I don't know how your current life is, but I hope your life get's better regardless. You can do it.

Mugs: Have fun in Paris man, and I wanna see these pictures you get at some point if you don't mind. :)

Chromophobia (are you really afraid of colors, or what does your handle mean? lol): What are these city games you're speaking of? You lost me there lol.

Doug
 
are you really afraid of colors, or what does your handle mean?
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Yeah unfortunately I am, of select colors, but certain drugs stop it like MDMA. I'm getting CBT for it and I have to say, it's helping drastically.

It's the Manchester City vs Queens Park Rangers game in the Barclays Premier League. English football basically.

Final score 0-0. That's it for City's title race.

Fuck dude, amps and tramadol is pretty dangerous. Please be careful.
 
I used to be Rx'ed 75 mg of phentermine/day (double of most Rx'es of it), 400 mg of tramadol/day , 30 mg of Cymbalta/day, and 30 mg of buspar/day, at one point, and, while I did suffer a state of catatonia after being up for 4 days (and I stopped the phentermine to see if that was the issue; antidepressants really fucked me up) followed by never-ending panic attacks, I did not have any seizures. Not a whole lot of twitches, normal amount of spasms as normal, but I was fine. I've been on tramadol for 2 years now, so I'm pretty tolerant to it's adverse effects, and never really had issues other than constipation. I'm not saying I'm gonna go eat 10 tramadol and snort a gram at the same time, but with my tolerance and experience with both substances at the doses I'm taking, I'm not gonna have any issues at all, more than likely.
 
That sounds like a nasty combo of drugs. I don't see what people get out of tramadols, Id only take it out of desperation when I had nothing else and was raiding my parents medicine. I'm pretty sure it's next to placebo effective in treating pain or recreational effects.
 
That does sound like a disaster of an RX.

I've been using tramadol for a decade, while I do enjoy 'speedballs' with amphetamines and opioids (oxycodone, heroin) I've never dared try it with tramadol. I always think the seizure risk is exaggerated in tramadol though, not that I would publicly admit that, but I've literally been around, known, and myself done grams of this stuff daily with the only two times witnessing a seizure is when a friend mixed it with pregabalin and another one with JWH. Anyway, how is it with amphetamines, any positive effects?

Btw, JWH+benzodiazepine+Tramadol = orgasm
 
i believe that tramadol seizure risk is also exaggerated to some extent, but i have suffered what appeared to be the beginnings of a seizure when i foolishly dosed around 900mg with no tolerance when i had no idea what i was doing with it. however i have done upwards of 2g of tramadol and stims with a lot of benzos, 2mg of clonazepam, 400mg of lyrica and 50mg of valium, and 100mg of dex... I think obviously the benzos stopped me from having a seizure, but nonetheless the experience was very enjoyable, the most i've ever gotten out of tramadol. i really wouldn't recommend that to anyone though as it is fucking irresponsible and dangerous.
 
Bleh I really want to do some opiates right now, trying to hold off another day till Thursday to dose bupre again
 
I'm nodding out pretty damn good from 10mg of methadone... Half way through reading every post I keep catching myself lol. Only dosed 2 1/2 hours ago too.
 
synthetix said:
Right I've made up my mind. It's time to end this opiate bullshit and turn a new chapter in my life. I want to get off opiates, but I can't do it cold turkey. I'm opting into a methadone programme tomorrow and handing in all my oxy. This is it for me. Today is the last day of oxy I hope. I pray that methadone will help me get my life back together.
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best of luck with that, dude. congratulations on making the decision.

what exactly do you mean by "handing in" the rest of your oxy? not just giving it over to the clinic or something? you should offload it to a good friend or something. or trade them for some other goodies you like, perhaps attain some 'done from someone for extras?

Chromophobia said:
Yeah unfortunately I am, of select colors, but certain drugs stop it like MDMA. I'm getting CBT for it and I have to say, it's helping drastically.
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wow, i don't think i've ever heard much about this kind of condition. what's the name reserved for it? like people who have phobia's to spiders are arachnophobic.

hatrix said:
I'm nodding out pretty damn good from 10mg of methadone... Half way through reading every post I keep catching myself lol. Only dosed 2 1/2 hours ago too.
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ahhh to be opioid naive again! i remember when only 10-20mg of methadone would do the trick for me and having me nodding hard even if it wasn't the most euphoric high. it was a lifesaver when i'd ran out of my own stock and about to face withdrawals. like with bupe i could dose every couple of days to keep me well instead of having to dose once a day with oxy or morphine.
 
tentram said:
ahhh to be opioid naive again! i remember when only 10-20mg of methadone would do the trick for me and having me nodding hard even if it wasn't the most euphoric high. it was a lifesaver when i'd ran out of my own stock and about to face withdrawals. like with bupe i could dose every couple of days to keep me well instead of having to dose once a day with oxy or morphine.
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Yea I must say, it's great :) Still have 30mg of methadone left, probably going to be plugging my next dose in a couple days, 10mg.

I actually just took 0.25mg of alprazolam even though I'm on the methadone. It's been almost 5 hours and I have no breathing issues. I'm not nodding as much anymore and should be able to handle it no problem.
 
Cuntram! What up diggs, so I heRd Aussie added some new colors to their heat index map, that's pretty kewl shit, I really wish I was in austrlia to experience thT god awesome 120degree Fahrenheit weather!

I hope you are keeping cool with some vodka, booze and boobsmiesmmmm are always nice.

Keepin it guccxcci ,
Laccy

Yes I was purposely being an internet douche because yah, I can lololol
I am actually quite entertaining to myself Lool
 
laCster said:
Cuntram! What up diggs, so I heRd Aussie added some new colors to their heat index map, that's pretty kewl shit, I really wish I was in austrlia to experience thT god awesome 120degree Fahrenheit weather!

I hope you are keeping cool with some vodka, booze and boobsmiesmmmm are always nice.

Keepin it guccxcci ,
Laccy

Yes I was purposely being an internet douche because yah, I can lololol
I am actually quite entertaining to myself Lool
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maaaaaaaaate!

my mate just came for a visit before he had to head off and do a few things before he heads to a birthday party tonight. we did manage to plan a camping trip next week so we can get out of town and make a bit of mischief. catch some sun, sand and beach while we're down there as well :)

no booze unfortunately, bro (well i have like 3 shots of whiskey left over in a bottle but i'm having a milk coffee and i don't want no curdling to happen should i mix with some fizzy stuff, ya dig?) fortunately i am nicely buzzed on some morphine and valium and chain smoking.

also on the bright side - dad has just gone to pick up a nice fat juicy watermelon that we can hook into. i fucking love me some watermelon. vodka infused watermelon is the tits as well!

and dude, this heat is killing me. i've had about 3L of water to drink today and it's just sweating right out my sexay boday! it's the fucking humidity. i think it's sitting around 80% or some bullshit like that:|

what you been up to you little rascal?
 
what's the name reserved for it? like people who have phobia's to spiders are arachnophobic.
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Most doctors call it as chromatophobia, some chromophobia.
 
ha! name is explained. i've been putting off googling it for some time now.

interesting, it is, though.

can you give me a few examples of how the CBT is helping you out? if you don't mind sharing.
 
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