Splitz
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Not necessarily. You can become psychologically dependent on pretty much anything that gives you pleasure or comfort.
The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread: 8th dose, I can't sleep so why not?
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Not necessarily. You can become psychologically dependent on pretty much anything that gives you pleasure or comfort.
i against i
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shit, i'd love to hear from someone who uses PCP, up on my leftover big bad list with crack and meth. but stims aren't really my thing.
ColtDan
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it affects them but not too badly. although i guess the nutters on here bashing grams daily may have some issues
LogicSoDeveloped
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I may be taking like a month long break. My use of this substance has been up and down but about a month ago, I did it every day for a week. Only one small bump in the morning. Now, on average, I've dosed it like once or twice a week.
The last time I did it was saturday night. I did a fair sized bump and then saw a movie. I'm not sure why, it is the same high quality stuff I've been doing, but that bump didn't seem to affect me as strongly as I thought it would.
Has anyone else seen some sort of permatolerance? Or does it just take a long time for one's tolerance to go down?
it reminds of pot in that back when I could smoke, one day I realized I wasn't getting nearly as high anymore and had to smoke more, only to get less pleasant effects than I had when I started.
The last time I did it was saturday night. I did a fair sized bump and then saw a movie. I'm not sure why, it is the same high quality stuff I've been doing, but that bump didn't seem to affect me as strongly as I thought it would.
Has anyone else seen some sort of permatolerance? Or does it just take a long time for one's tolerance to go down?
it reminds of pot in that back when I could smoke, one day I realized I wasn't getting nearly as high anymore and had to smoke more, only to get less pleasant effects than I had when I started.
I think I had a high tolerance to MXE from the getgo... making these infrequent "once a week" dosing seem absurd. Whats the point lol? Unless I'm taking like 200mg once a week just to see how far I can get fucked on MXE lolz, because thats what it would end up being.
I have a very addictive personality
I have a very addictive personality
the toad
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Psychological dependency falls under habituation... people obviously wouldnt keep doing any activity they dont like, unless theyre addicted...
Psychological dependency is "the drive to do it again"... which is what habituation is... if your experiencing a positive outcome then its just something you like or benefits you... addiction is "the drive to do something you dont like or that harms you"
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Ondine
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This is speaking from my own personal experience.
I first started using MXE towards the end of January. Since that time, I have gone through about 3g total. I only used it nasally. During those 3 months there were times where I would think "man, why am I doing this, all it does is fuck me up and alienate me from people", and there were times where I loved it completely, loved being on it, loved talking to people on it, loved doing everything on it.
When I had it on me, I would do it everyday. There may have been a few days that I had it and didn't do any, but I remember the feeling of saying to myself "I won't do any today, I'll take a break from it today", then finding myself digging a key into the bag a few hours later.
The mind is an interesting thing. There's a part of me that saying that kind of behavior isn't good, that's the kind of behavior that will get you hurt. On the other hand, when I look back on those months that I was taking MXE daily, I was happy. Not really that much noticeably happier than I am now, having not taken it for more than a week, but happy all the same. I look back on those memories with fondness. I didn't fail any of my school work, I progressed just the same as I always did. To a certain extent, I think it produced some valuable introspection.
On the topic of addiction; for me, MXE is no more addictive to me than any other drug that I've taken with any sort of frequency. I've gone through periods of smoking 5 blunts a day, of eating dozens of tabs per acid a week, of taking benzos every day until I would need 120mg of valium to feel anything remarkable. While I still do all of those things, I do them considerably less frequently. The truth is that I stopped using copious amounts of them because I got bored of them, because my something in my life changed, because I started hanging around with different people, because their availability diminished, or some combination of all 4.
At this point in time, I see MXE much in the same way that I see every other drug that I've abused; a phase that I'm going through. I don't feel any sort of withdrawal or real physical craving like I did with the benzos, which was the most difficult part about slowing down my use of them. I believe that MXE is so appealing to me right now because it's very cheap for how much use I get out of it, it's easily attainable for me, and as of late, I spend a lot more of my time alone, painting, playing the piano and composing. To me, MXE complements that solitude and artistic mindset very well.
It's been almost 2 weeks since I last took MXE, and I'm currently planning on purchasing another gram in the next few days, meaning I'll have it in my hands in a little over a week. What remains to be seen is if I'll return to using it every day, or if I'll start using it more sparingly. So far, I can't say what will happen, but whatever does, I'm still comfortable with my decision to keep using.
I first started using MXE towards the end of January. Since that time, I have gone through about 3g total. I only used it nasally. During those 3 months there were times where I would think "man, why am I doing this, all it does is fuck me up and alienate me from people", and there were times where I loved it completely, loved being on it, loved talking to people on it, loved doing everything on it.
When I had it on me, I would do it everyday. There may have been a few days that I had it and didn't do any, but I remember the feeling of saying to myself "I won't do any today, I'll take a break from it today", then finding myself digging a key into the bag a few hours later.
The mind is an interesting thing. There's a part of me that saying that kind of behavior isn't good, that's the kind of behavior that will get you hurt. On the other hand, when I look back on those months that I was taking MXE daily, I was happy. Not really that much noticeably happier than I am now, having not taken it for more than a week, but happy all the same. I look back on those memories with fondness. I didn't fail any of my school work, I progressed just the same as I always did. To a certain extent, I think it produced some valuable introspection.
On the topic of addiction; for me, MXE is no more addictive to me than any other drug that I've taken with any sort of frequency. I've gone through periods of smoking 5 blunts a day, of eating dozens of tabs per acid a week, of taking benzos every day until I would need 120mg of valium to feel anything remarkable. While I still do all of those things, I do them considerably less frequently. The truth is that I stopped using copious amounts of them because I got bored of them, because my something in my life changed, because I started hanging around with different people, because their availability diminished, or some combination of all 4.
At this point in time, I see MXE much in the same way that I see every other drug that I've abused; a phase that I'm going through. I don't feel any sort of withdrawal or real physical craving like I did with the benzos, which was the most difficult part about slowing down my use of them. I believe that MXE is so appealing to me right now because it's very cheap for how much use I get out of it, it's easily attainable for me, and as of late, I spend a lot more of my time alone, painting, playing the piano and composing. To me, MXE complements that solitude and artistic mindset very well.
It's been almost 2 weeks since I last took MXE, and I'm currently planning on purchasing another gram in the next few days, meaning I'll have it in my hands in a little over a week. What remains to be seen is if I'll return to using it every day, or if I'll start using it more sparingly. So far, I can't say what will happen, but whatever does, I'm still comfortable with my decision to keep using.
TomChesterson
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One week ago, I obtained 5 grams of MXE. I'm currently down to about 1 and 1/2 grams. I gave away over a gram of it, so I personally downed about 3 (2 1/2) grams in this week period. Obviously this was very stupid and an uneducated decision to make but once I started I just didn't want to stop. Most recently my bladder is just feeling sore. When I'm on the MXE, it's quite a bit worse and I have trouble controlling my urinating. I'm hoping that I haven't permanently damaged my bladder on this retarded bender, but if I have then it's just something I have to deal with for making stupid decisions.
I'd advice people to either highly control their dosing on this drug, or to just stay away from it all together. I never planned to go on such a heavy bender, but once I start dosing I just compulsively redose until I finally just fall asleep from exhaustion.
Has anyone else experienced a sore bladder after a heavy bender of usage?
I'd advice people to either highly control their dosing on this drug, or to just stay away from it all together. I never planned to go on such a heavy bender, but once I start dosing I just compulsively redose until I finally just fall asleep from exhaustion.
Has anyone else experienced a sore bladder after a heavy bender of usage?
the toad
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I doubt to caused any permanent bladder damage... i used at that rate or greater for about 4 months straight... everyday... and experienced no lasting effects...
While consuming i did notice very frequent urination and occasional mild irritation but this went away after a couple days of cessation
If you start peeing blood or urination becomes painful you should consult a doctor... but even then i would suspect a bladder infection before assuming its the mxe... people who have ketamine related bladder issues typically use for years before that happens
While consuming i did notice very frequent urination and occasional mild irritation but this went away after a couple days of cessation
If you start peeing blood or urination becomes painful you should consult a doctor... but even then i would suspect a bladder infection before assuming its the mxe... people who have ketamine related bladder issues typically use for years before that happens
TomChesterson
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Thanks for the reassurance. I have a mild case of hypochondria so it's not uncommon for me to get paranoid about any little thing.
Ondine
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I feel that MXE is particularly useful in preventing nausea and uncomfortable body load when taking other drugs. I almost always have an unpleasant amount of nausea/body load on doses of 2c-b or 2c-i higher than 20mg. Doing a small amount of MXE (20ish mg) about 45min before ingesting the 2c almost completely prevents that.
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Monday was a good night. First time trying DMT. I was on MXE at the time and ended the night with MXE... but damn, the DMT really changed the mood a bit.
doppelgänger1
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Has anybody had both, the fluffy white and sandy MXE? Are they different in effects?
^I've had "fluffy" white and more grainy white with small ~1mmX1mm crystal chunks in it, all together spanning 3 sources, all from retailers in different countries. I've noticed no consistent qualitative differences in their subjective experience. MXEs subjective experience is far ranging. Things like mild tolerance after a few days of subsequent use do consistently change the trend of the experience to more simulating and less dissociating/euphoric for me, but even then it's nowhere near 100 or even 80% consistent in effects.
In my opinion talk of "batches" without further knowledge mostly just serves to comfort us that we have more control over our drug experiences than we really do. The physical appearance of a chemical (color, composition, etc.) can vary widely based on all sorts of factors that have little directly to do with purity (salt form, synthesis/purification techniques, rate of crystal formation/evaporation/separation from solvents, post production treatment, etc.). We can't know how many different manufacturers there are, which retailers get from which manufacturers, whether two "batches" that look similar are really of the same production, what time period they were made in, etc., without more knowledge that very few can be said to reliably have. Even when we end users talk about using from the same bag our experiences vary widely at different points, and any consistency we experience can be attributed in some degree to expectancy bias.
In my opinion, we are far more at the mercy of the MXE vendor's'/manufacturer's integrity and, (much) more so, dumb luck, than I think we're comfortable with, and so we attribute differences to factors we imagine we can control by buying from a different source or dipping into a different bag to give ourselves the reassurance. Hopefully we don't have to depend entirely on that integrity because (hopefully) there are more producers at this point and the producers don't want to risk the time/expense of selling a really shitty synth when retailers can (hopefully) buy from a different producer. At that level of commerce the smaller number of participants theoretically makes for a stronger motive for quality control in production (I assume I'm not crossing BL guidelines here by simply speaking about the economics of production in the abstract/hypothetical; I hoping it serves some harm reduction purpose because these considerations play a role in risk assessment). There's other ways for consumers to "regulate" in the case of bad product obviously, but those are more difficult to assess.
In my opinion talk of "batches" without further knowledge mostly just serves to comfort us that we have more control over our drug experiences than we really do. The physical appearance of a chemical (color, composition, etc.) can vary widely based on all sorts of factors that have little directly to do with purity (salt form, synthesis/purification techniques, rate of crystal formation/evaporation/separation from solvents, post production treatment, etc.). We can't know how many different manufacturers there are, which retailers get from which manufacturers, whether two "batches" that look similar are really of the same production, what time period they were made in, etc., without more knowledge that very few can be said to reliably have. Even when we end users talk about using from the same bag our experiences vary widely at different points, and any consistency we experience can be attributed in some degree to expectancy bias.
In my opinion, we are far more at the mercy of the MXE vendor's'/manufacturer's integrity and, (much) more so, dumb luck, than I think we're comfortable with, and so we attribute differences to factors we imagine we can control by buying from a different source or dipping into a different bag to give ourselves the reassurance. Hopefully we don't have to depend entirely on that integrity because (hopefully) there are more producers at this point and the producers don't want to risk the time/expense of selling a really shitty synth when retailers can (hopefully) buy from a different producer. At that level of commerce the smaller number of participants theoretically makes for a stronger motive for quality control in production (I assume I'm not crossing BL guidelines here by simply speaking about the economics of production in the abstract/hypothetical; I hoping it serves some harm reduction purpose because these considerations play a role in risk assessment). There's other ways for consumers to "regulate" in the case of bad product obviously, but those are more difficult to assess.
So, does anyone else get a hangover from mxe at high doses? Did 300mg at night and was completley useless the next day.
Also, I dont get these people talking about holing off 100mg. I'm still pretty functional at 100mg. And I dont even have much tolerance.
Also, I dont get these people talking about holing off 100mg. I'm still pretty functional at 100mg. And I dont even have much tolerance.
InterzoneAgent
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Quoting a post from many pages ago because i haven't been to BL for some time, but had to respond to this in regards to my last and deepest - first true ego death experience ever - mxe trip of which i posted a too long to read trip report here some weeks ago.
Like escape20 said, It's really great. Feels to me almost like a must to do with MXE to gain the full experience and have it more "under control" in regards of the mania. I'm a beginner basically with yoga (have practiced mediation occasionally on and off for many years but only lately gotten more into it) but like i explained in my trip report; it feels to me that mxe is almost like custom made for meditation and yoga. I could try to explain it (poorly) here but i think it's better to just try it out for yourself. Summarized: MXE (and any dissociative also i'd guess, but with correct dose of MXE you can move around and do yoga) makes you sink so deeply into your head that it makes meditation feel like natural passive process. That goes for yoga as well and you can stretch your limbs and body so easy and get focused into the moves if you put your mind into it. But the thing that makes it so great is that you don't even have to put your mind into so much as sober, it just flows so flawlessly.
I would strongly recommend practicing those things to everybody who uses MXE and has problems with the trip becoming too manic. It helps massively with keeping yourself under control. You could take benzos of course, but i think that would take away the psychedelia of the experience, so i'd recommend the meditation/yoga.
In reagards to the batch issues, i have also had the fluffy off-white/whitish and more grainy stuff and can't say that they have any difference qualitively wise. I think tolerance, and our minds expectations (like psood0nym above said) and reasoning plays a key role in this aspect. I have learned first hand that tolerance changes mxe's nature very fast and very strongly.
For me MXE experince is extremely inspired by the days event's before the trip. Other dissociatives as well. I strongly recommed doing something... maybe active sports during the day, maybe going downhill skiing or something like that (even just taking a train trip), and then taking mxe (Not during the skiing naturally, that might end up badly?!). If MXE works for you like it does for me, you'll sort of relive those events during the trip but on a much trippier scale. I love that feeling of flying/moving in space that mxe causes more than anything.
It's funny that no other stimulant get's me so totally psychotic so fast as MXE often does. It doesn't stimulate me in any positive way at all - i usually hate the comedown, it feels more like an overdose. Never had even a slightest hint of a positive afterglow that many tryptamines or phenethylamines usually always give me. The dissociative side (albeit short in regards to the afterwards stimulation) is so very, very great though.
Back to the first subject; I would love to hear if others have done meditation/yoga under mxe and what they have to say about it. Try it people!
edit.
Yeah i usually always get the same kind of hangover as from heavy drinking session. Drink lots of water. Although i don't really remember to follow that advise myself nearly half the time and just end up eating handfulls of ibuprofen for lunch the next day
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
tsk tsk tskIf you don't have a tolerance and 100mg's doesn't get you holing, i'd guess it's a purity issue. Everyone's body chemistries are different however and many other things (set/setting) can play a big part also... so maybe try a different vendor or try taking it after a few days on a different mind state/setting?
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I've tried mxe from 3 different vendors. Always felt I had to take more to really hole. And I did it at night in the dark with some good tunes, so I know its not setting.
Though, I'm not really sure what everyone means by holing. I consider it to be a complete seperation from body and mind. When I speak of holing I mean I forgot who I was, where I was, if i was human, if I was even on earth, ect. And I'll be high for a good ten hours.
Though, I'm not really sure what everyone means by holing. I consider it to be a complete seperation from body and mind. When I speak of holing I mean I forgot who I was, where I was, if i was human, if I was even on earth, ect. And I'll be high for a good ten hours.
^Set (e.g. mindset) also matters in addition to setting. All sorts of unconscious factors we cannot even know about in order to factor out of our judgement of MXE's effects can play a role in our subjective experience. The more complicated the effects of a drug (esp. mental/psychedelic effects) the more you're going to be contending with set (and the more about the experience that's likely attributable to stuff you can't even know) even if you have no tolerance at all. So lets say a certain unconscious or simply unconsidered mental setting is active and influential on MXE for one month. You get a 250 mg "batch" of MXE and use it over that month, and then the "set" stops having an influence before you pick up the next batch that's more grainy or yellow. You're likely to attribute the difference to the "batch" because it looks different even if there's really no purity difference between batches and the difference is only superficial.
I'm not saying there aren't batches of different composition where intrinsic physical properties do make a difference, I'm just saying it's extremely difficult to guess at what's really relevant without relatively expensive and largely inaccessible high tech instrumental tests (not marquis regent or other chemical ones) on every single new synthesis. Maybe one time yellow is indicative of a purity difference and the next time a different synthesis method makes it yellow even though physically it's 99 percent pure and 1 percent yellow unreacted inactive precursors. Other's opinions make a difference, too. As soon as one person says the yellow feels more X and the chunky feels less Y and you believe it you're going in with expectancy bias. Psychological tolerance also plays a role, and won't go away as easily as physiological tolerance for most drugs. It'd be nice if we could have more confidence, but unless we are the chemist the truth is we're putting our lives in the hands of profiteer drug dealers who have to meet no quality control standards (many of whom are known liars who substitute or screw up things with deadly mystery chemicals that HAVE killed) every time we make a new purchase. If we use a new purchase with them without testing it first we're also risking the safety of our friends for the same reasons. Sorry to go overboard -- this post is for everyone (not just you) and it's a harm reduction forum...
I'm not saying there aren't batches of different composition where intrinsic physical properties do make a difference, I'm just saying it's extremely difficult to guess at what's really relevant without relatively expensive and largely inaccessible high tech instrumental tests (not marquis regent or other chemical ones) on every single new synthesis. Maybe one time yellow is indicative of a purity difference and the next time a different synthesis method makes it yellow even though physically it's 99 percent pure and 1 percent yellow unreacted inactive precursors. Other's opinions make a difference, too. As soon as one person says the yellow feels more X and the chunky feels less Y and you believe it you're going in with expectancy bias. Psychological tolerance also plays a role, and won't go away as easily as physiological tolerance for most drugs. It'd be nice if we could have more confidence, but unless we are the chemist the truth is we're putting our lives in the hands of profiteer drug dealers who have to meet no quality control standards (many of whom are known liars who substitute or screw up things with deadly mystery chemicals that HAVE killed) every time we make a new purchase. If we use a new purchase with them without testing it first we're also risking the safety of our friends for the same reasons. Sorry to go overboard -- this post is for everyone (not just you) and it's a harm reduction forum...
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