Uh oh Max. I think you might invoke the wrath of Hydro with the new title...
SirGrunge needs to recommend me some more awshum azn cinema
Whatchu need, nigga? I got yo fix right hurrr:
Drama:
The Human Condition - A 3-part epic about the brutality of the Japanese military in Manchuria during World War 2. It's the first Japanese film to really be critical about the conduct of the Japanese military, with some of the best camerawork, story and acting (for its whole 9 hour runtime) of any film I've ever seen. Some intense shit right here, and it is my current 'Favorite Film of All Time'.
Mother - A mentally challenged young man is arrested for the murder of a young girl, so his Mother (who believe he's being framed) sets out to find evidence of his innocence.
The Bad Sleep Well - Akira Kurosawa's (the Seven Samurai director) take on the Hamlet story, set in the contemporary Japan. Maybe my favorite Kurosawa film.
Sansho The Bailiff,
The Life of Oharu, and
Ugetsu - I didn't want to devote too much time to these films because they can be pretty inaccessible for casual viewers and aren't exactly fast-moving. They're three very sad, borderline depressing dramas about the human spirit in the face of incredible adversity. If you decide you really like Japanese cinema, by all means give these a shot as they are amazing films, but I wouldn't blame you if you skipped them.
Early Summer,
Tokyo Story, and
Late Spring - Same deal as the last entry, but moreso: these films are for die-hard fans of Japanese cinema. Yasujiro Ozu, often listed as one of the Top 5 best directors of all time, has a very peculiar style and deals almost exclusively in domestic slice-of-life dramas - they are not exciting, they often re-tread the same thematic ground (especially the three I just listed) and you
really have to have a certain familiarity with Japanese culture. That said, there's a reason Ozu is so revered by directors and critics alike - he's a damn genius. Tokyo Story has ranked #1 in the
British Film Institute's "Best Film Ever Made" Directors poll more times than any other film.
Samurai:
Seven Samurai - Often considered the greatest Japanese film ever made (though I'd debate that) and an absolute classic piece of cinema. The movie was remade in America as The Magnificent Seven, but I think we can all agree that Samurais are cooler than Cowboys.
The Samurai Trilogy - 3 of the best samurai films ever made. This series was a big influence on Quentin Tarantino, especially for Kill Bill.
Harakiri - This is my favorite Samurai film, though it is much slower-paced than the other two. The story requires a certain understanding of feudal Japanese culture to really appreciate the drama as it unfolds, but the ending is so brilliant that it actually makes you appreciate the slower pace. Be sure to see the 1962 version by Masaki Kobayashi (the guy who directed The Human Condition, btw), not the re-make by Takashi Miike or the weird Fritz Lang film from 1919 also called "Harakiri" (both of these are on Netflix, but the Kobayashi version is on Hulu).
The Sword of Doom - Unique story about a psychopathic and blood-thirsty Samurai. In this film, the main character is the antagonist, and he is a fucking badass piece of shit.
Horror:
Audition - Takashi Miike's masterpiece. The horror in this film is a slow build with a big payoff.
A Tale of Two Sisters - In my opinion, this is the best Asian horror film ever made. It was remade in America as The Uninvited, but of course they fucking ruined it.
Kwaidan - This is a collection of four different Japanese folk tales. I wouldn't call this film scary per se (then again, Horror films typically don't scare me), but it is fucking
beautiful to look at - I've wanted to watch it on psychedelics for a long time now. It's another winner from Kobayashi.
Jigoku - The first hour and a half tells a pretty interesting story about a young student on the run after killing a yakuza boss, the last 30 minutes is pure batshit lunacy the likes of which can only come from Japan. Watch this one on drugs, yo.
The Ghost of Yotsuya - This is an adaptation of a traditional Japanese play so there are many versions of this story, but the one by Nobuo Nakagawa is the best. It's just over an hour long and has some
amazing bits of cinematography.
Cold Fish - A modern horror movie about a man who joins a group of serial killers against his will. Good, crazy, bloody shit.
Thriller:
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance - A crazy thriller from my favorite Korean director - just watch it, it's brilliant.
The Yellow Sea - A Taxi driver pays off his gambling debts by agreeing to carry out a hit for his bookie...things do not go well.
Oldboy - If you haven't seen this film yet, watch the original Korean version before remake that's coming out soon.
Comedy:
Barking Dogs Never Bite - An absurd, hilarious, and very dark comedy.
I'm a Cyborg but That's Ok - a very surreal comedy about a girl who is checked into a sanitarium because the thinks she a cyborg. It's made by the same guy who made Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, though at times it feels like a Wes Andersen flick. Watch this one with your girlfriend - it's funny, cute, and will guarantee sex.
I'm gonna stop there because fuck you Bill for making me type all that.