• TDS Moderators: mafioso | mal3volent | Xorkoth

Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
1,461
lol, i can't really focus right now. ? it's awful, honest. thank you. ??


i have been off since my last cluster headache, i can't even talk about it. or don't know if i could right now anyway. thank you bunches. ????????????
i like going outdoors !
 

Mafioso

Moderator: TDS
Staff member
Joined
Feb 14, 2010
Messages
3,727
Location
TDS
doges are awesome. sad to have to put one down after watching it go def, blind, and immobile. I want to get a corgi.

Kind of getting off track ere tho… back to the taper.. I allowed myself to binge for a few days after re upping. Tired of wasting my time money and brain on this shit. I was watching videos of myself playing msic when I was sober, wih except maybe some weed, and compared to nw I feel like I cripple. It's time to get serious about my taper about. I started taking 1-2mg doses, but that ends today. .5mg dose and going to try 1-2mg max. Proabably going to hurt, but I don't think I'll be in danger. IF my posts become extremely ereratic and senseless then maybe PM me to get help lol.

Running/walking 3-5mi a day this week, every day. Usually morning and night walk/run/job. Also been working out a lot and staying busy with construction work. Been focusing on mentally simple but physically challenging tasks, as I've been too high to really get complex things done past few days. Wish I would have just stuck to the taper, i was pretty sure I had made it past the hardest part, but here I am again. At least I know what I am doing this time around, just struggle to manage self control.

I really need to work on having a close social structure... one that isn't "necessary" as in like family, NA friends, or work friends. I miss having friends that i hung out and did shit because we had common interest like music, jamming, hiking, and roadtrips. I guesss that's part of getting older, not entirely things people do so much at the age of 30, but I've never really socially grew past early 20s when my heacy drug use started. I feel a bit stunted. I know in time, and with challegning myself outside of my comfort zone, growth will be inevitable, but I also believe there is an element of play and fun that is necessary in life for not just enjoying life, but for real learning and growth.
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
1,461
learning and growth will happen through every new experience and is great progress towards empowering priorities and goals ?

i have been keeping up with walking the doggies and swimming in the cold lake water to feel better. ♡

i can't even get on a bike now ! ? ?
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
977
Location
USA
I’m using tons of Kratom now between oxy scripts. I can only guess, but my tolerance for oxy never goes down even though I’m off it for 15 days at a time or more. Must be the Kratom keeping it up because I go from 300 mg oxy per day to none for two weeks then back to 300 mg per day in about 3 days.
I need to get off everything including Kratom for at least a month to get my tolerance back down. But how does that ever happen when I’m in constant pain and I have to go to work and run my life.
Dunno how, but I need to make some changes.
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
1,461
Why can't you get on a bike now? What happen, ylight?
y,depressed and quit taking pain remedy and had pulled tendons in my wrist and everything else aches and pains. ya paws hits hard.

don't know half the time. should be gone in a year. or not. eventually they might give me something for my swollen tendonitis sciatica tensions and bone and joint medical records.
i made copies of them.
but maybe things will be better in a year or some how some day.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
977
Location
USA
Same stuff..... different month. I promised myself I would ask for help this month, but I didn’t. And I’m right back where I have been every month for a year. I wake up in withdrawal, so I need pills to stop sweating and feeling like crap. Then I take “just one more” so I can enjoy the morning. Next thing I know it’s bedtime and I have taken 12 that day when I’m only scripted 3.
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
1,206
Aw Squeaky.

I just recently had to go ten days with no Morphine. Ten fucking days! I thought of you a lot during that, you doing that every month.
woah! It really hurt and really sucked and it is taking awhile to get back stabilized. Pain level was so out of control.
It has taken days to get it back down.

That was so hard on my body and mind.

I worry about the toll that switching back and forth between the oxy and Kratom is taking on your body.
I still fuck up once in awhile but wow, after that ten days, I’m going to try very, very hard to never have to go through that again.
I handed control of my medication to someone else.
Telling myself that I can have another one after midnight, so it still keeps me within the same day with my medication helps me.
Whenever I think, “I need to take an extra one today, I’m really hurting.” Instead of doing it, I have just been telling myself that “no, it won’t even make the pain or feeling any better or increased and then I will suffer and I can make it a few more hours. I can have another one after midnight.”
Doing this has been helping me to get things back under control and to keep it that way.

Let me know how I can help my friend. I’m here for you.
 

Larimar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
418
Location
East Coast USA
Same stuff..... different month. I promised myself I would ask for help this month, but I didn’t. And I’m right back where I have been every month for a year. I wake up in withdrawal, so I need pills to stop sweating and feeling like crap. Then I take “just one more” so I can enjoy the morning. Next thing I know it’s bedtime and I have taken 12 that day when I’m only scripted 3.
I do the same thing . Husband gives me 7 - 40 mg oxy that I have to make last a week , I always take like 2 a day for the first three days to feel extra good then have to make the last one last 2 days then I have 2 days with none that I have to ask him for more . We get 20 a week (it’s all we can afford .) I always tell myself I’ll deal with it later then those days with none come and I’m kicking myself saying I didn’t need that extra one the night before . I never learn , always living in the moment instead of planning for the future . Luckily I don’t have any pain to deal with I just get the withdrawals when I don’t have them ; restless legs, can’t sleep and I’m a mega bitch .
 
Top