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The Suicide Support Thread

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Captain.Heroin

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There will be a time and a place for everything. Mine is not here nor now.

Much ❤
 

tremours

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Aug 26, 2010
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it seems like when ever i drink, i drink pretty hard, it seems like someone ends up in the hospital everytime. well on the plus side i have like a 1/2 of bombay
 

Winding Vines

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Nov 10, 2002
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Hey guys, been a while. Sorry about that, I've been trying to figure it out.

I'm not suicidal but I've been a wreck the last few weeks. I'll spare you the details.
Last few days I cant eat, sleep, or stop crying. I'm behind in school but I'm going through so much I just can't.

Anyway, I read many stories and letters that contains your disappoints, hopes, loves, sorrows, apathy, and guilt it really touched me. My heart goes out to you all, and I am truly sorry that the sun isn't shining as bright as it should for you, you all deserve peace and positive inspiration.

I'm sorry I didn't address anyone in particular. I'm having a really hard time, opening up to anyone anymore. Guess I'll never shake that irrational belief that I'm not welcome anywhere.

I'll just leave this here, just for you:
“What can you ever really know of other people's souls - of their temptations, their opportunities, their struggles? One soul in the whole creation you do know: and it is the only one whose fate is placed in your hands.” “You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours." C.S. Lewis

<3
:(
 

mrflowers00

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i'm going on a tolerance break so i'm gonna be in a lot of pain/anxiety/and lack of focus and motivation i'm aiming for 3 months but it'll probably only be 1 bring on the suicidal ideation
 

fivelinefury

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
Messages
1,176
Location
Melbourne, AUSTRALIA
(Sorry admins, idf I'm not allowed to post all I have here. I haven't been on BL for a while, and it is good to log in again. I love all you guys <3
Lately, due to many reasons, not having much money, not having a job, falling back into my Diazepam addiction (depending on how I feel and how many I have, last night I took around 80mg, I think. Have taken 20mg tonight, and been drinking). Usually do CWE codeine everynight, 150-400mg. But have cut right back a bit lately, onliy having around 40mg tonight atm. I appologise for the rant everyone, just want to feel like I'm talking, since I get to see my girlfriend like once a week :( Anyway, the truth is, I have been thinking about going out peicefully in my sleep on and off every now and then for a while now. I am prescribed 200mg Zoloft, 1mg Diazepam, and 25mg seroquel daily/nightly. I don't take the Seroquel much anymore because I was originally prescribed 200mg, some in the morning and at night but it just knocked me out during the day too much.
 
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Captain.Heroin

Sr. Moderator: H&R, Words
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Not feeling good today.
 

mrflowers00

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i need to talk to my therapist right now but i have to wait till 220 tomorrow i'm gonna come clean about my drug abuse they can't report that can they
 

Captain.Heroin

Sr. Moderator: H&R, Words
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You can at least talk about it in previous terms just to be on the safe side.

I know what is driving me to suicide and I don't care to share. I'll likely be checking out of Hotel Captain sometime in the next 45 days.
 

tripnotyzm

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 1, 2012
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Captain, you're an awesome dude and a massive asset to our community.
Please hang tight and reconsider your options in life.
There are so many struggles that plenty of us face in day to day life, but you just gotta slap those struggles in the face and know that change & another chapter is just around the corner.
<3
 

kace

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
682
Location
UK
I know I have to kill myself today. I fucked up everything so, so bad it makes me cry. I was given a beautiful opportunity at life but I fucked up.
 

Captain.Heroin

Sr. Moderator: H&R, Words
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Apparently I didn't tell you all this.

I made an overdose attempt. Thanks to a wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and loving moderator, I didn't take any more of one (of two) substances. This likely is the only reason I survived that. Part of me was hoping to die.

It was the scariest overdose experience I have ever had.

The last thing I want is for anyone else here to try anything similar. ❤❤❤❤

And a big special ❤ goes out to ad_lib. Thank you for asking me not to take more of the one substance. I could have asphyxiated on my own vomit and died. Instead I am alive today thanks to you. &#55356;&#57145;

Kace - please talk to me. I am all ears. I won't even tell you what to do as you are entitled to do as you want. But life is so precious. I almost lost mine twice in 48 hours (almost got ran over by a BMW earlier today) - the latter was a mere accident and it has shown me how lucky I am to still be breathing.

Much ❤
 

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,708
Location
santa rosa, CA
i'm having such a hard time not getting high or doing any drug for that matter not even nonpsychoactive drugs i want to die and drugs will take that away but i need my tolerance to go down so i don't keep running out of meds and going through wds i wish i could just end it all but i don't have it in me to hurt people like that
 
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