I said it directly, you did not listen. I tried politely. I tried patiently. I tried loudly, then tried any way I could to make you listen
I took it personally that you were so incompetent to be honest. You made things personal and skewed the narrative to once again hide your flaws.
It was not personal, given that people far better than me have cut their losses and not looked back, you don't seem to have noticed.
Now, because I need a job and for that reason alone, I trudge into that place that will go down the gurgler, work too many hours as the staff that left took their experience with them. My enthusiasm has gone. The intent on doing what needs done, all gone.
Im not saying you are evil, just pathetic and hopeless, theres no need to ever speak to you .
I actually resent you deeply, but if youre too fucking stupid to get it before last night, you can probably tell. Dont you dare imply me getting raped , “I put myself there” cause i was partying again. Pussy bitch.
I'm too scared of the future now, everything seems dark. I really miss you, you made me a better person and I felt protected and loved I sometimes feel your 'light' or 'presence' or whatever that feeling is. I hope it is you. If it is it really helps me to just survive. I wonder what you would make of it all now. Love you always. And I'm sorry for my antics that caused you grief back then, you were such a good person through and through and always seen the good in me and people in general. I remember our first date and how we both spoke about this but I have lost that outlook upon the way. I wish you were here so we could cuddle and watch TV or something like when we felt like we both had taken Mandy watching that documentary about 90's acid house etc but we were both sober the reincarnation of a certain artist I will forever be in ok miss you, just wanted to let you know babe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
There's nothing I wouldn't say to my S/O. Is that the point of this thread, specifically, or is it for everyone? Anyone, this isn't for my wife. This is for someone else.
Fuck you for loving me so much when I was young and cute, then abandoning me when I became a "troubled" adult.
Fuck you for calling gay people perverts when you know damn well I am bisexual. I'm sorry I'm not repressed like you.
Fuck you for being disappointed in me. How am I supposed to be as successful as you were? Not everybody on the planet can be in the top 1%. I help people for a living. I am there when people die. I have endured sadness that you will never understand. You made more money than I ever will. That doesn't make you a better person than me.
I feel sorry for you, throwing away your children because of drugs... but thank you for showing me what not to do with my own kids. I will always be there for them, because you were never there for me.
Fuck you for still expecting me to behave in a particular way around certain guests. I'm not your puppet. You can't dress me up and take photos of me like some kind of fucking prize pig. You should be proud of your son for who he is.
I hate the fact that I still care what you think sometimes.
I'm sorry that your father loved your brother more than he loved you, but please stop telling me this story. You clearly love my brothers more than you love me.
Fuck you for allowing your issues with me to interfere with your relationship with my kids.
I wish you could make me feel special for one day, just one. Not even on my birthday or our anniversary have you ever bothered, like not even a small card or anything. The only time was when you were in jail and wrote to me. Or at the bare minimum can we keep things at a reasonable communication level without all the shouting and tantrums every other day. It's lonely and I'm just starting to realise that this is all I'll ever get from you. I will start flirting with my German friend you banned me from talking to as I am so lonely and just angry. For what though? I won't be jumping in to any relationship after this shit storm. I wish you would at least try and get it together FFS I don't even want anyone else but you and I don't know why at this point. I just hope you won't do anything daft the day I disappear for good and it hurts me but you know yourself that my pain physical and emotional isn't enough to make you re-assess things. I feel small but one day I will be better and I will never look back, I just wish it was different, but you will still blame me for making you miserable when I try my absolute hardest to support and please you emotionally, financially and sexually.