• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Pushing people away

ageingpartyfiend said:
Sometimes for sure, but often not - anyone at or beyond a certain point in the spectrum is gonna struggle in a big way

madness doesn't sound anywhere near that point though so your assertion is valid in this instance
Click to expand...
Yes of course, severe ASPD is very hard to treat but it’s not impossible, even if it’s just to better manage risks.

There is no reason madness is at the stage where he just needs managed, he can definitely benefit from some therapy if he opens himself up.
 
Sirena Oscura said:
I like the way you write. 35% of the time you’re like this... but then the rest of the time you engage in the same degeneracy as others on this site. I’m glad you posted too- I know you started talking to me and I got little pangs of guilt when the convos wouldn’t last like I was doing something wrong or I should try harder (I probably still am, but in this case I believe you’re probably the same and it takes two so it’s both of us at least).
Click to expand...
35 % huh? I was going for at least 50 % responsible and thoughtful. But there is no argument I have a lot of degeneracy in me. Well did really, much of it was meth influenced I think. And I have not done anything druggy or degenerate since NYE.
 
Hey guys, just chiming in to provide a little reminder than this is health and recovery.

I just bring that up because there's been a couple posts here that seem to have more of a lounge vibe, which would be fine in the lounge, but here in health and recovery it'd be appreciated if we can keep the tone a bit more serious. Since this is generally one of the areas people come expecting more serious discussion. <3
 
Yes I struggle with the same problem presented in the OP. My problem is getting too emotionally invested or overly genuine too fast. But either way it's like as soon as I put my guard down, and I don't have something to offer people (drugs, money, a car) they run for the hills.

It's really tiring and it leaves me feeling like I'll never find another love or any decent new friends. So these days I pretty much keep my head down and build up a wall for myself. I've just been hurt and abandoned too many times. I think it all stems from my mom abandoning me as a child.
 
Last edited:
Alright I've just gone over the thread and deleted, as best I was able to work out, the drama that started earlier today. I'd appreciate it if everyone could try and play nice. <3

@madness00 for what it's worth, I've always liked you. <3
 
I think people get the wrong idea when saying that people with ASPD are fake etc.

I try to put myself out there, especially as ive gotten older. I try to show people all sides of me, maybe not right away, but ultimately i crave being accepted.

Everyone has some sort of front. Im just saying i like to limit mine so that we can cut the bullshit.

@MsDiz - what you think?

@deficiT - im sorry that you struggle too. Don't fret about it though because it's not too difficult to differentiate the genuine from non. Just be consistent.
 
madness00 said:
I think people get the wrong idea when saying that people with ASPD are fake etc.

I try to put myself out there, especially as ive gotten older. I try to show people all sides of me, maybe not right away, but ultimately i crave being accepted.

Everyone has some sort of front. Im just saying i like to limit mine so that we can cut the bullshit.

@MsDiz - what you think?

@deficiT - im sorry that you struggle too. Don't fret about it though because it's not too difficult to differentiate the genuine from non. Just be consistent.
Click to expand...
I think it can be a fine line.

I have worked with many people with ASPD and they all struggle with the same thing. Wanting to reach out to others but being unable to sustain it because they just really aren’t bothered when they do make a connection.

Like you say, everyone has some sort of front. People always show off their best traits when first meeting people, the difference is is that they actually have those traits. So I get why some would say ASPD people are fake because some put forward traits they just don’t have which then quickly disappear when you get to know them better.

It’s a hard thing to navigate and I really hope your psychologist can help you with it. I think it’s wise to be true to yourself when meeting someone so what they see is what they get and I am sure eventually you’ll meet someone who will get you.
 
It's tough because i want them to know what to expect, but what would i rather, a friend or an immediate loss of potential friend?

That's why i try to roll with people who get me. If someone crosses my path i wont not try to engage, but i think naturally we put on our best traits, like diz said.

@MsDiz - It's also tough because sometimes i don't even realize that im misleading. It's either too natural and practiced or i literally don't understand the contradiction.
 
Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. I didn't read all this thread but you can be friends until you build enough comfort for something more if that's alright. If it's someone that wants nothing to do with you so much they are repulsed by you, then it's on. ha. j/k tread lightly.
 
madness00 said:
It's tough because i want them to know what to expect, but what would i rather, a friend or an immediate loss of potential friend?

That's why i try to roll with people who get me. If someone crosses my path i wont not try to engage, but i think naturally we put on our best traits, like diz said.

@MsDiz - It's also tough because sometimes i don't even realize that im misleading. It's either too natural and practiced or i literally don't understand the contradiction.
Click to expand...
I get it, you know your psychologist should be able to give you tools to use when it comes to making new connections. Be honest with her and say it’s something you want to work on. It can take a while to bring awareness to something you do automatically, it takes practice but with a bit of work I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.
 
MsDiz said:
I get it, you know your psychologist should be able to give you tools to use when it comes to making new connections. Be honest with her and say it’s something you want to work on. It can take a while to bring awareness to something you do automatically, it takes practice but with a bit of work I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.
Click to expand...

Trust me - as i age i try less and less to "charm" people.

In high school it was different.
 
Nice guys finish last. But I think honesty is good for both people. You got to tell her how you feel (presuming) before you never see her again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top