- Mar 10, 2006
- iterating through cyclic eternities
LOL, this is a good description. Interesting that so many people have similar experiences and a similar perspective as far as having a kind of stubborn psychological masochism with regards to feeling like there's something wrong about having to dilute frightening psychedelic experiences with other chemical softeners...Sounds about like every psilacetin trip I've ever had. Out of stubborn determination, I've taken that psychedelic countless times, obsessively probing its harsh effect for some indication that "facing my demons" will build character...
Let's put it this way. If it does, I'm too stupid to get it. So now I just take fun drugs. Life is good.
When you say "functional" daily drugs, could you elaborate a little on which ones these are? I'm assuming not psychedelics, unless you're microdosing...I`ve had a doc suggest I try taking Cipralex for my anxiety, and while I`m sort of on the fence about it, I`ve had so many friends die from overdoses lately, and I hate my current medication enough that I`m pretty much willing to give up my ``rotating`` functional daily drugs I use to just feel motivated and normal ish, and just at least try this SSRI at a very low dose and attempt sobriety and see where it gets me. I`ve been sober except a nightly 2 mg dose of etizolam which I`ve been having a hell of a hard time shaking lately because of situational anxiety (episodic, not permanent situation).
Speaking for myself I've been managing to rotate modafinil, phenibut and tianeptine with the odd other ones mixed in for a good few years now probably, it usually works well enough, but recently I've been doing it way too often I think, and added kratom to the "rotation" which works well of course but honestly feels just worse for me in some way, also some days I'll take all 3 (moda, phenibut, kratom I mean) which doesn't seem good either, or sustainable, and kind of defeats the point of "rotating"... also been taking benzos way too often recently which is equally concerning, really need to be careful with that...
Speaking to the topic at hand, the other day I ended up tripping on DCK and 4-HO-MET, which was a really beautiful profound experience and actually gave me a day after afterglow for the first time in a long time - I think that had more to do with the 4-HO-MET than the DCK likely, though, but the combination is truly something special, feels holy in fact. I must make sure not to burn myself out with DCK like I seem to have done with ketamine now and be sensible with very spaced out, infrequent usage. DCK does feel hard on my body like all ACHs do so if I don't I won't only lose the magic but probably fuck myself up physically, bladder, kidneys or otherwise.