• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest Posting RulesBluelight Rules
  • PD Moderators: Cream Gravy? | Transform | Vastness | Xorkoth
  • Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

⫸STICKY⫷ PD Social Distancing Talk Thread: Swirly Congregation That's 100% Pandemic-Proof

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
2,567
Location
noitacoL
I loved the first episode and then felt pretty meh about the next three. Not exactly stoked to continue considering the, what seemed to me, big downgrade in quality between those
 

Pfafffed

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
784
I really wanted to like it, by it wasn't for me. Same with Adventure Time. I can see why people love them, but the animation style and voice acting just don't jive with me regrettably
 

PYTH

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2019
Messages
215
I'm into his podcast sometimes but I'm really not into the comedy circle that he and Rogan et al are in., though both Trussel and Rogan have had truly great episodes / interviews / guests. Trussel sometimes gets heavily inside-baseball on the buddhism front sometimes, which is totally fine but not that compelling to me. I find Trussel way more likeable and aligned with my personal temperament but Rogan often gets better guests and conducts more focused interviews, like that last totally brilliant Hamilton Morris interview that came up here.

I made it through two episodes of the show, it was fine, it was basically like an edited, condensed version of his podcast visualized by the Adventure Time guy... I'll pick it up again. I can see why some people love it but it's not totally for me either. If anything it's not weird enough :LOL:
 

HeadphonesandLSD

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
1,311
I was browsing the markets this morning and caught myself comparing various opioid vendors. The idea of ordering H, opium, or morphine has been strong these last few days. I realize this is stupid just like getting started on kratom was and can only lead to bad things in my future. I closed the browser and decided it's probably for the best that I don't order that first gram.

Things are going to calm down for me in the next few weeks and I think the best course of action is to get the Iboga I've wanted for so many years and undertake the flood dose. I've spent the last few hours reading and comparing various trip reports. I have a trusted friend that I know will stay and watch over me for the duration. I'm going to float the idea by him today and see when we can plan a weekend for this. In the past I've nearly done the flood twice but didn't go through because I was worried I'd talk about things I don't want other people to hear with a sitter. After reading more reports this doesn't seem common and even if it happens I'm sick of letting my own anxiety about it stop me from making the changes I need to make in life. I feel like most of my problems are self inflicted and the result of social anxiety. Most of my drug use, especially with opioids, was just trying to run away from problems that weren't really a big deal. I think most of my pain is more mental than psychical despite the lies I've told myself over the years. I do have conditions that cause pain but not conditions that justify using what I've used for it.

I figure no matter how much the Iboga costs it'll be money better spent than any amount spent on opioids. I'm just ready to be over the constant pull of opioids that I've been living with for over a decade now. I don't know why they keep luring me back. I know they are a terrible idea but something always happens in life that brings me back to that warm glow of contentedness. I was cleaning up my bedroom today and found all the packages of kratom I've been saving in case money ran out and I couldn't buy any. I'm ashamed about what I've spent on the stuff these last few months. Lots of money down the drain just for a sub-par experience. At least it keeps my pain levels down and way from the local opioid scene. If it wasn't for kratom I would have spent 10x more on pills.

In a few weeks I'll place the order for the Iboga and probably some DPT. Between the two of those I should get the kick in the ass I need to correct course in my life.
 

Delsyd

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
Messages
9,407
Location
¸.♥´´¯`•.¸¸.ღƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
I can feel .1-.2 of cubensis. My first few times microdosing I was surprised how strong it felt. It felt like I was starting to come up but then it never materialized in to a trip. Id say its the intensity of a coupe hits of weed but with a different high.
 

Img_9999

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 17, 2015
Messages
1,234
Location
R'lyeh
^Never microdosed shrooms, but I've tried microdosing acid (Well, 1P-LSD specifically) and everytime it made me feel high, until I decided to follow a multiday regime, then after the third microdose I stopped feeling the come-up. I also gauged the dose down with respect to previous experience. I did it for a month, stopped a few weeks ago. I would say it was a positive experience but nothing life changing. It mostly manifested as extra energy, which is always welcome. Perhaps it aided as a mood stabilizer, as this times are grim and I've been feeling mostly good, but can't say for sure.

I can take the day off tomorrow, as I've finished my work for the week. I'm thinking of cracking open the remaining of my MXE. I've had the urge to go back to the M-Hole since lockdown started, maybe this evening is the perfect timing.
 

PYTH

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2019
Messages
215
I think 150mg is about where my threshold for feeling it starts, sometimes 200mg. I almost never feel 100mg. Depends on the mushrooms I guess, though seems pretty consistent for me.

I *like* feeling it a little, I've said it many times but my move is to dose super early so that the peak passes before I'm out the door, I usually go with 250mg. There's a fine line between feeling great after the mini-peak passes or just feeling a wee bit high for 4 hours.

I envy anyone who can keep dissociatives in the house and not do them all.
 

dreamflyer

Bluelighter
Joined
May 13, 2017
Messages
619
Location
USA
I'm having a rough time, folks. The isolation is hard on me when my depression is acting up because I have too much time on my hands when I don't feel like doing anything, which is never a good thing.

Everyone who knows me jokes that no matter what I go online to look up, it always leads to sex, drugs, food or music! Sure enough, I went on some bodybuilding websites to get motivated but ended up reading about GHB and becoming obsessed with the idea of creating a legal alternative. I read anecdotal reports like "a cross between a 6-pack and a sleeping pill", etc. and came up with the following cocktail:

(NOTE: All of the following substances were obtained legally by my own prescriptions and over-the-counter.)

6pm:
4mg. lorazepam (Ativan)
10mg. escitalopram (Lexapro)
15mg. mirtazapine (Remeron)
50mg. diphenhydramine (Benadryl)

7-8pm:
4 beers

8:23pm:
So how do I feel now? Well I've never done GHB so I can't compare it to that, but I basically feel just as lost as I did two hours ago except that I care just a bit less because my senses are slightly dulled. Was it worth it? No.

I'm just waiting for it to get late enough for me to go to bed and hopefully get a good night's sleep, then get an early start tomorrow and try to have a happier, healthier more productive day than I did today.

Thanks for listening to me complain!!!

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
:sleep:
 
Last edited:

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
46,652
Location
In the mountains
Sorry you're feeling down, dreamflyer. I've had a really rough COVID season... especially the first month and a half. I actually got GHB against my better judgment, funny you mention it. I was drinking heavily or doing GHB, plus stimulants, anything I could get my hands on. Ended up in the ER because I took too much G on top of a couple of drinks and my girlfriend found me u nrespectove. Of course they didn't do anything for me and I woke up an hour later, very confused. I ended up with a $5k bill for a doctor lecture, IV fluids, a shot of Narcan because they thought it was an opiate OD, and a CT scan because I kept saying I didn't remember taking anything (I didn't). The CT scan was only $90 for some reason.

Fast forward, I didn't throw it away and jkept doing it til one day I dumped it down the drain. Slipped on opiates again to help me deal, been taking phenibut to stave off withdrawals from G and tapering down. Just a lot of drug abuse and I feel like I have very little control. My friend is in the same boat and said he is renting a cabin in the woods for a month and going to detox himself and learn to deal with life without drugs. He asked me to join him, and I think I am going to, in August. Just sweat it out for a month, play music every day with one of my best friends, hike a lot, exercise, cook food... I think it will be a good experience. Only thing is my band is starting to get intense on the practice and we're recording and I don't know how they will like me being gone a month but on the other hand, they're concerned about me. I'm rather excited about the prospect. I am going to quit drinking, stimulants, caffeine, phenibut, basically all addictive drugs. I want to go back to psychedelics occasionally and weed once in a blue moon. Maybe MDMA once or twice a year and a dissociative now and again. Basically all the drugs that have positive impacts on my life and that I don't have abuse problems with.

I'm doing pretty alright now, being productive, doing a ton of projects around the house (rebuilding a second story deck balcony lately, and we're gonna build a bear fence and inside it a coop to have quail. Been working on my friends' farm(my bandmates actually) and getting lots of food and companionship there. Also practicing with my other band again. And work is popping off, so much to do. Which is good, it was the lack of feeling productive and useful, coupled with extreme boredom, that was driving me nuts. Plus my dad's death has far-reaching ramifications on my overall mental state. It's been a rough, rough year.
 

HeadphonesandLSD

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
1,311
Misery loves company so I'm happy to have some. Be careful guys, I've slipped on opioids and benzos lately too. I'd been wondering how the OD rates were for awhile now and Mr. Peabody just happened to post a thread about it yesterday. The numbers don't look good: Nationwide ODs are up 47% compared to last year. I'm sure a lot of those are folks coming back to opioids after beating them just out of pure boredom, depression, and feeling isolated. We aren't alone.

A lot of the boredom and drug use for me is coming from the lack of activities to do. Yesterday my friend and I watched a show on float tanks. We decided this might be something fun to do and searched for a place selling them. They're $28k for a basic model so that's out. We searched for a place nearby that might have them and we were in luck. 45 miles away there is a place in a mid-sized city with float tanks but no information on how much a session costs. We call the place and no answer. Eventually an automated message plays: "Sorry due to Covid we're closed until further notice".

It has been like this for months. Every time an idea pops into our heads to starve off the boredom the place is closed. The National Parks were closed for months. Every place with go-karts for group rides is closed. The arcade is closed. The place I go zip-lining is closed. The gun range with fully automatics is closed. I can't jump out of an airplane because they're closed. Can't go to a club or bar (things I hate and would normally not do) because they're closed. All the local spots where they have underground parties are closed because the people with land and venues are terrified of being sued. Can't do sports because all the venues are closed. All the public pools are closed. For the last several months my life has been staring at the walls in my house and going to buy food at the corner and grocery store. I'm single so I don't even have a live in girlfriend to make babies with (very curious to see how many babies are born in 7-9 months).

Some guy on BL was ranting about online dating the other day. I told him it was terrible and to go meet women in real life at events. After I posted that I realized there are no events to go to anymore. Poor guy.
 

TripSitterNZ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
1,862
Location
The Dimension of LSD-25
covid has really made it tough for people. hang in there the sunshine shall shine after this shit show. With no job or anything to do but drugs it really does take it out of you.

Im going to go on hopefully my last bender and MIA for a few days til sometime next week. Then i think i should probably get some serquel to shut my mind off and hopefully rebalance myself.

I think i need to avoid microdosing aswell. Tempted to get back into LSD since i have nothing else to do.

After next week im going to quit cannabis again and hopefully mdma try clean myself up and get a job again hopefully by the end of the year. Been so drug affected though it makes things hard i have substance abuse written across my face. Have to try get my piss clean from cannabis aswell. unemployment rate rising to about 9% estimated here.

I been out of work this whole year and i don't think i could really live through much unemployment any further. I feel sad sometimes that i choose the wrong field of study for myself and it never amounted to anything great or career worthy.

When things get tough LSD is my savior of grace to keep me alive but its a double edged sword too much and it fries my brain for months to come. Its even hard to try follow in person convos since im quite far removed from functioning in normal time and space dimensions. Been single aswell gets lonely but sometimes i like been totally alone with nobody to answer to. I always been eccentric and weird and on the outside fringe of society so i don't click with most people well. I could be called a acid burnout or burnout on life.

I wish i could just go to the deep jungles of peru and become a ayahuasca apperctine shaman i truly feel like my only true calling was the psychedelic life or exploration of altered states of consciousness.
 

dreamflyer

Bluelighter
Joined
May 13, 2017
Messages
619
Location
USA
Thanks for the kind words. Sorry to hear that others here are facing similar struggles, but at least I'm not alone (and neither are you all).

I had a horrible night of half-sleep and woke up reminded of why I never mix alcohol with Benadryl, even in small amounts; I was queasy as hell and my mouth was so dry that I couldn't even swallow. My anxiety was through the roof so I took a couple of my Ativan and went back to sleep for a few more hours. I feel much better now.

Now that I got my Rode NT1 studio mic, I'm finally starting to lay down vocals for songs that I've been writing and recording the backing tracks to for the last 15 years. I've also gotten back into painting again, and I've just started to lift weights again for the first time in decades (I was obsessed with it for several years back in my 20's).

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
:sleep:
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
46,652
Location
In the mountains
I've been working on rebuilding my second story deck balcony, it has been falling apart for years. Here are some before photos:






And here are after, all I have left to do is put the rest of the decking on the finished frame, and then I'm going to build a roof over it.



 

Img_9999

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 17, 2015
Messages
1,234
Location
R'lyeh
Cheers and much strength to all of you that are struggling (I wanna say "aguante!" But I don't think there's a proper English equivalent haha. It's funny sometimes, translating. I can come up with approximate equivalents, but in certain expressions I get the feeling something is lost somehow). Try not to succumb to depression and abuse, but don't be so hard on yourselves either when abuse does show up. We are living in wild times, so much uncertainty about everything at all. Life getting much slower, when the economic craze humanities has thrown itself into had made us all used to live and thrive in hyper-speed. It's impossible not to feel alienated and anxious. I wish I could have something insightful to say, but all I can do really is nod with understanding. It's easy to slip into bad habits in times like these. What HeadphonesandLSD was saying about overdoses is a dark and sad reality. We are seing a rise in mental illness, addiction and domestic abuse. We all need to stay strong and look up for our friends and familiy, many people are feeling extremely isolated these days and dealing with pretty harsh shit. Luckily this is also a time when we are forced to confront ourselves and this can result in beneficial transformation too. We just need to be patient and go easy on ourselves.

Your plan to go to the wood with a friend and detox sound actually awesome, @Xorkoth. I'm also kinda jealous, tbh, that you can live surrounded by the woods haha. Some day I will escape this huge city. . .



Sorry if something about this post sounds kinda preachy or corny. I had a strong dissociative hole on thursday night, and I've been processing a lot of emotions these days.
 

JackARoe

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2009
Messages
1,039
Try not to succumb to depression and abuse, but don't be so hard on yourselves either when abuse does show up.
Amen to that. Make peace with any abuse. And change the word abuse to nurture, That is all we are trying to for ourselves. It is just that some ways are more healthier than others :) That is all that is.

And for some reason we have go through these trials in life. And they stack up and make me a very weary pilgrim. Life at times is hard. In fact the older I get the harder it is.

Stay well everyone. Take it hour by hour. Keep the Faith that is deep within. I like to remember that life is a 5 minute thing and consciousness will expand. Nature shows us a lot and the caterpillar to butterfly message restores a little faith sometimes. Other times not so much. We Will Survive. I suggest lots of music to get through. Dance. Get that good feeling going.
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
46,652
Location
In the mountains
I had a pretty cool night. Went to my girl's ex-roomate's place, her and her boyfriend, I met him at the town they live in's yearly mermaid parade/festival a couple of years ago, he's a super trippy guy, 49 years old, most people in that (very small town) think he's a freak but he's fucking awesome, we made friends that day, and tonight ended up talking non-stop for like 5 hours. We meant to stay for just a little while. They were all doing MDA and LSD, I really wanted to join but I got a great contact high instead, just drank one beer too because I kept thinking my girl was going to want to leave because she wasn't feeling very good, but we had a good time. Gonna go back and play music with them sometime soon. It was one of those life, the universe and everything sort of conversation nights... actually all day, I spent the rest of the day working on my friend's farm and we all had really epic conversations all day there too. One of those days. The day started out awful (was feeling super anxious). It was a phenibut day and I guess part of why it turned out great was because it kicked in, giving me a couple of days of feeling good. I'm really ready to get off this train.

I had my second injection of my psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis medication today. It's been exactly 2 weeks since I started it, and it's made a HUGE difference. My joint inflammation is all gone, I can bend over and back up again and not have to slowly unbend and feel like an old man. And all my skin patches are all just pink skin, it's crazy how fast it's working. I haven't even put anything on it for a week and a half. Some patches that were always red and cracked and itchy aren't even visible anymore. So that's awesome.

Sorry you had such a shitty day dreamflyer. <3
 

Cream Gravy?

Moderator: DC, F&TV, PD
Staff member
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
8,617
The 4th always makes my wife depressed because she wants to move back to where we lived in college... we used to go hard on the 4th, I'd break out the grill and a 30 pack of High Life and it was the one day every year everyone wanted to come to my ghetto duplex and party, as we had a real yard, etc. and our neighbors would go ham on the fireworks (legal in city limits there too lol). I guess she just really misses that part of our life. We hate living in this big city. The population here is greater than the entire state we used to live in... I feel that. I try to tell myself to move on. But for her it's always difficult on the 4th... Some of our fondest memories of those years I guess.

"I want to see mountains again Gandalf, mountains!"
 
Top