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My wife cheated on me with my best friend...

F

Freetoliveagain

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 2, 2013
Messages
10
The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). I never caught them, she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, and get this knife I feel is sticking in my back out??? how long before the pain goes away, because I don't even want to live anymore, it hurts so bad.
The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him, but should I trust her again?
 
GTFO

this was not a mistake, and you would be a fool to ever trust her again.
 
She played you for a fool and stay away from your ex "best friend" so you don't end up in jail over both there stupid actions. And you would be foolish to believe she wouldn't try for the next good thing to come along. I hope your son is not emotionally hurt from this and I hope he was not aware of what went on. There will be time for him to learn the truth I just hope she doesn't scar the child and make you out as the cause of her infidelity. Good luck bro.
 
Just tell her that if only think that's going to make you feel better is fucking another girl for the next 5 years.
I'm hella curious how she would respond to that.

OR

Divorce. You'll come out of this divorce looking well if you can prove her infidelity.
Take your son with you, and as he gets older, TELL HIM EVERYTHING. let him hate her if he wants. So long has you merely provided the facts and let him make an objective opinion resulting in this, you may take solace in that Sweet sweet revenge.


Also: Take it from some one who spent years in prison for wanting to get his vengeance through violence.
Don't fucking put your hands on him. the passion will eventually die down, and you'll just say to yourself "Eh, fuck em."
 
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Animal Mother said:
Divorce. You'll come out of this divorce looking well if you can prove her infidelity.
Take your son with you, and as he gets older, TELL HIM EVERYTHING. Make him hate her. Sweet sweet revenge.
Click to expand...

AM, this is the one piece of bad advice you've given, IMO, since I started reading your posts a few months ago.

Don't involve your son in this dispute at all. If you end up divorcing, that will be bad enough. It's every kid's biggest fear after their parent's death (assuming no domestic violence). If you try to turn your son against his mom, it's essentially taking his mother away from him. He's innocent, even though she isn't. Do everything to protect and to provide him with two loving, nurturing parents who he can look up to, even if you live apart. One day he will form his own judgments, but while he's a kid, do the right thing by him at every turn. Put aside all anger for his sake, i.e. don't fight in front of him or talk bad about his mother to him. Put him first because he's helpless and relies on both of you. His world revolves around his mother and his father.

I understand Animal Mother said "as he gets older," but if you take the high road and let him have his mother without your trying to poison her image to him even when he's older, he will respect you for this. He'll learn the truth, but there's no reason to spin it. Just tell him from your perspective. Take the high road and he'll learn how to do the same.
 
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Johnny1 said:
Don't involve your son in this dispute at all.
Click to expand...

Absolutely agree! My girlfriend's parents went through something similar, where her mother cheated on her father, they ended up divorcing, her father eventually taking custody of her, etc. Her father told every family member, friend, whomever not to rag on the mother in front of his daughter, as she should be able to see her mother, that her mother was welcome any time, no one was to prevent his daughter from seeing her mother, etc.

I mean... granted, my girlfriend eventually learned what kind of a person her mother was all on her own lol but, I think that was kind of the point. Know what I mean?

So, yeah, my two cents would be to divorce your wife (the infidelity went on for much too long), but do not get in the way of your children and their mother.
 
Johnny1 said:
AM, this is the one piece of bad advice you've given, IMO, since I started reading your posts a few months ago.

Don't involve your son in this dispute at all. If you end up divorcing, that will be bad enough. It's every kid's biggest fear after their parent's death (assuming no domestic violence). If you try to turn your son against his mom, it's essentially taking his mother away from him. He's innocent, even though she isn't. Do everything to protect and to provide him with two loving, nurturing parents who he can look up to, even if you live apart. One day he will form his own judgments, but while he's a kid, do the right thing by him at every turn. Put aside all anger for his sake, i.e. don't fight in front of him or talk bad about his mother to him. Put him first because he's helpless and relies on both of you. His world revolves around his mother and his father.

I understand Animal Mother said "as he gets older," but if you take the high road and let him have his mother without your trying to poison her image to him even when he's older, he will respect you for this. He'll learn the truth, but there's no reason to spin it. Just tell him from your perspective. Take the high road and he'll learn how to do the same.
Click to expand...


You're absolutely right. I edited my post.
I'll be more careful with my words in the future.
 
My parents divorced when I was in fifth grade and I never heard the end of each others gripes with one another. I was even asked by my father in front of my mother who do you want to live with. I made the right choice as my father never paid any child support and at the time it was only $59 dollars a week for me and my sister. He was married six times and died a lonely old man even tho I would try to help him in his late seventies and eighties. The shithead even had the nerve to tell me when I got divorced how he always wanted to do my wife. I hated him more than I should have allowed myself to but the drugs made him a blurb in my life anyhow so I didn't then nor now dwell on it. Amen for Oxy and Morph with a bit of Soma for peace of mind. Bro you are free to live again, make the most of it and find a girl to love you, the pain will be gone.
 
Wow what a pair of fucking scumbags. I'd probably go the divorce route.
 
As far as I know she hasn't spoken to him again and yes he is my son THANK GOD. She said it started about two or three years after we got married she is staying with her sister and her husband right now as far as I know.
 
TangerinO said:
Wow what a pair of fucking scumbags. I'd probably go the divorce route.
Click to expand...
As far as I know she hasn't spoken to him again and yes he is my son THANK GOD. She said it started about two or three years after we got married she is staying with her sister and her husband right now as far as I know.
 
Shadowsblaze said:
My parents divorced when I was in fifth grade and I never heard the end of each others gripes with one another. I was even asked by my father in front of my mother who do you want to live with. I made the right choice as my father never paid any child support and at the time it was only $59 dollars a week for me and my sister. He was married six times and died a lonely old man even tho I would try to help him in his late seventies and eighties. The shithead even had the nerve to tell me when I got divorced how he always wanted to do my wife. I hated him more than I should have allowed myself to but the drugs made him a blurb in my life anyhow so I didn't then nor now dwell on it. Amen for Oxy and Morph with a bit of Soma for peace of mind. Bro you are free to live again, make the most of it and find a girl to love you, the pain will be gone.
Click to expand...

She always had a "thing" for African American men but after she met me she started liking me and so she just "let it go" after getting into a relationship with me. But she admitted that she began to become attracted to my friend who is African American BTW. He was always athletically built, fit and attractive as far as she was concerned. So she pretty much started to remember what she always liked "from the beginning" and overtime gradually fell into temptation which unfortunately did not stop after a few "encounters" but continued it for a long time. She stopped talking to him and is now out on her own.
 
Shadowsblaze said:
She played you for a fool and stay away from your ex "best friend" so you don't end up in jail over both there stupid actions. And you would be foolish to believe she wouldn't try for the next good thing to come along. I hope your son is not emotionally hurt from this and I hope he was not aware of what went on. There will be time for him to learn the truth I just hope she doesn't scar the child and make you out as the cause of her infidelity. Good luck bro.
Click to expand...

I'm 31 years old and no I never suspected anything between them
When all three of us were together they never really talked to each other that much.
Nah I was never the travelling type just a go to work and come home type person. My son is four years old this year
 
Animal Mother said:
Just tell her that if only think that's going to make you feel better is fucking another girl for the next 5 years.
I'm hella curious how she would respond to that.

OR

Divorce. You'll come out of this divorce looking well if you can prove her infidelity.
Take your son with you, and as he gets older, TELL HIM EVERYTHING. let him hate her if he wants. So long has you merely provided the facts and let him make an objective opinion resulting in this, you may take solace in that Sweet sweet revenge.


Also: Take it from some one who spent years in prison for wanting to get his vengeance through violence.
Don't fucking put your hands on him. the passion will eventually die down, and you'll just say to yourself "Eh, fuck em."
Click to expand...
I'm seriously leaning towards divorce but im wondering why did she have to pick my friend out of all people **** MY LIFE!!
 
The same can be said of your friend (why he picked her of all people?) I can't see how this went on for years and suddenly she fessed up either. Have you ever known him to date other women or did he have a girlfriend while all this was happening? Something just seems off here.
 
Dude that sucks.

You can't really be thinking that you are going to stay with her?

I know that's easy for us to say. But seriously you gots ta leave.
 
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