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Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Freudzilla

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
376
Numb.. and a mess all at the same time my partner and I have split for the time being and it’s killing me quite literally.. truthfully I could die at any moment the real tragedy is I don’t. Complete apathy kinda sums up my life right now.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
5,884
Ahh thats never fun. Feel better soon!
Thank you. I do already. I'm experienced, it's the 2nd time since January this year, true 6 week lymphatic influenza, now the 5th time since 2014, it's my trade though lol.

Lyme destroyed immunity 16 years ago plus nervous system dysregulation, very severe nerve damaging case of Long Covid 13 months now, then 2nd flu on top.

Life was on top. Flu sorts you out. It kicks you down at first. You only "catch" it because you are weak, so it takes you off guatd.

I made the first progress today at massively improving the state via alternative trewtkents, dietary, herbal etc.

It would not have been such a sweep but I took over 52 tabs of LSD in 6 days just before the flu came unexpectedly.

I was already braced for an intense week physical energy and mood crash then as always dandy the week after.

I'll definitely get through it though

In 5.5 weeks this flu WILL be gone.

Borrelia is gone. Covid rages on. Aggresive thing. It has as strong a foothold in the body as Borrelia does, or more maybe.

But it isn't a virus though or bilological as such.
 

Freudzilla

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
376
Off of work today and tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. Mentally still a mess I keep praying I don’t wake up for what it’s worth but I can’t be sure if anyone is listening besides myself. When your whole world falls apart why would any caring supreme being leave you behind to exist without it. Sorry if I sound like I’m whining I just have no real outlet for these feelings and it’s better out than in I suppose. I hope no one else feels like I feel I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. May god have mercy on my soul I suppose if he decides to answer my prayers.
 

n3ophy7e

Moderator: TDS, H&R, MH
Staff member
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
30,932
Location
Dex's room
Off of work today and tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. Mentally still a mess I keep praying I don’t wake up for what it’s worth but I can’t be sure if anyone is listening besides myself. When your whole world falls apart why would any caring supreme being leave you behind to exist without it. Sorry if I sound like I’m whining I just have no real outlet for these feelings and it’s better out than in I suppose. I hope no one else feels like I feel I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. May god have mercy on my soul I suppose if he decides to answer my prayers.
How did you go today at work? I definitely know that feeling of hoping that you just don't wake up, and I also wouldn't wish it on anyone. I really hope you feel better soon. Keep us updated with how you're doing. This forum is a good outlet <3
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
5,884
Hi everybody here. I am really sorry for being such a ranting miserable moody asshole here of late.

Bob Marley's song Mellow Mood I think.

He says- I'm gonna put it on. In the morning. In the evening.

We all hurt, we all struggle.

That doesn't give me though the right to actually moan.

That is Bob's message there. It will hurt, it will be hard.

But AutoTripper don't moan, put it on instead!

Reaching out with love to everyone out ther from a drizzly UK midday atm actually I just looked haha,

I was unsure whether to say morning or afternoon.

So "Midday" is neither. It's a timeless concept. It doesn't need a millisecond to compute or exist.

Because it doesn't really exist. Only in concept. It's literally timeless tough, is Midday!

Sorry, I'm a philosopher. The illusion and presentation and conscious sensation of time is one of my key interests and study.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
5,884
Nobody said it would be easy, is the simple heart and priciple of that message there too.

By strengthening perspective, finding resolve, learning to accept, we can move on.

That is the formula.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
5,884
Don't be sorry same here lol 😆
Hi there.But sorry can be a truly beautiful and inspiring thing when you realise it because it can help you realise why are you are sorry and in there lies the lesson you needed obviously or else you would not have made the mistake the first time round.

Just in general not relating to this I don't mean. Because it's that feeling that inspires you to try and do better and really put it on as Bob Marley wisely sang night and day.

I'm currently just redosing LSD still with Fijian Kava now for nerves. Supremely supremely hallucinigenic high and it isn't necessarily over yet either (as in more but 1000 mics will run long enough anyway.
 

6am-64-14m

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 18, 2018
Messages
8,517
Location
Onda Cona
Trying to prepare for the next chapter of my life. Not sure where it will take me but alone I will be at least for a while.
There really is some bad shit going on around this move we made and I must get away from it. Not turning my back by any means but have to "move on" as they say or I see it turning dark. It is gonna get dark anyway but maybe if I am removed I may be able to get a better perspective and foment valid options.
Not feeling the best about what is fixin to happen but happen it must. Not sure if I ever wanted to go through the pita of growth but this will be a bit different.
Need a couple more weeks to let leg heal and see what song the highway will sing to me this time:
prolly pick up a bike along the way....
 
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