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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Macenroe

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Messages
75
Thanks again for this detailed replies Lionheart, sorry mine took so long, I don’t get on here all that often.

Once again all good advice, it builds on what I’ve already been doing/learned. I will give the NSI-189 trial a miss for now and concentrate on purely reducing anxiety for a good 6 months or so and see how that goes.

One thing that does help reduce my anxiety though is having a back up plan, ie something to move onto if what you’re currently doing ends up not working. That may be a new supplement, protocol or medical treatment, or anything really. The main thing is I seem to just need something planned to try next for peace of mind while doing whatever I’m currently doing to try and end LTC. That isn’t to say I don’t believe your theory in that anxiety is the key instigator behind LTC, in fact it very much makes a lot of sense, I just can’t vanquish the worry that my anhedonia won’t completely heal by purely doing anxiety reducing practices (I can appreciate the paradox here btw).

To this end, I was actually just wondering if anyone out there has a dream practitioner/specialist that they have been researching? Perhaps you’ve come across someone, such as a neurologist, psychiatrist, brain injury specialist or alternative practitioner that actually specialises or has experience in treating MDMA damage but lives too far away for you to visit?
I ask this because I am very fortunate in my line of work (contractor) in that I can earn a decent income in a short period of time, and have opportunity to fly anywhere in the world to meet with whoever necessary. If for example you have been researching a specific practice or practitioner but are unable to make it there to find out if it is worth it, please do let me know as I could go there and check it out, either whilst doing or after my anxiety reduction protocol. Then I could report back here if it is worth it or not.
What about ketamine clinics?
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
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noitacoL
That's your opinion my dude. I used to feel that way. Run wild with it. But to me there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Sometimes it's what is needed.

I'm waiting to get blood results that will show my levels of dopamine and seratonin. I'm hoping a combination of meds, therapy and exercise will get me back to baseline.
The point isn't that doctors don't know shit. The point is that many are woefully uninformed on side effects, withdrawals, interactions with other substances, especially recreational substances and substance abuse side effects, etc. So, yes, professional help is sometimes needed. And do be aware that you should double check what a doctor is telling you in regards to the safety profile of a substance, especially side effects and withdrawals.

Those are professionals who are knowledgeable in the field of medicine ,your 2 hours spent on the Internet can't be compared to their knowledge..
I'd disagree with you a bit more here than I would HopingForChange considering a large amount of doctors don't actually do their own research on drugs and simply listen to what the manufacturers tell them. Many, many doctors are uninformed on the side effects and withdrawals of drugs they prescribe.
 

HypersensitiveHarry

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
3
Just seen a Psych regarding my 2 year 3 month (yes, you heard that right) LTC.

Apparently the MDMA caused hypersensitivity of my dopamine, serotonin and norepinepherine receptors. She didn't prescribe me any meds, just psychotherapy.

Anyone with specialist knowledge know what could help reduce the sensitivity of my receptors? I am suffering with DP/DR, constant low level anxiety (i guess from the norepinepherine hypersensitivity)

She said time will heal, 2-3 years of staying completely sober (i have been drinking tons of caffeine but cut out all drugs 2 years 3 months ago) I would like to contact a Specialist? Does anyone know someone, perhaps a neuropsychiatrist/someone who specialises in receptors? That could help.

It is simple hypersensitivity of SDN receptors for me.
 

lionheart90

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 24, 2018
Messages
230
Just seen a Psych regarding my 2 year 3 month (yes, you heard that right) LTC.

Apparently the MDMA caused hypersensitivity of my dopamine, serotonin and norepinepherine receptors. She didn't prescribe me any meds, just psychotherapy.

Anyone with specialist knowledge know what could help reduce the sensitivity of my receptors? I am suffering with DP/DR, constant low level anxiety (i guess from the norepinepherine hypersensitivity)

She said time will heal, 2-3 years of staying completely sober (i have been drinking tons of caffeine but cut out all drugs 2 years 3 months ago) I would like to contact a Specialist? Does anyone know someone, perhaps a neuropsychiatrist/someone who specialises in receptors? That could help.

It is simple hypersensitivity of SDN receptors for me.
Caffine is probably the worst offender. Weed is a bad one too. If you want to heal you need to cut caffine too.
 

HypersensitiveHarry

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
3
Caffine is probably the worst offender. Weed is a bad one too. If you want to heal you need to cut caffine too.
Yeh, I'm gonna do everything right until 1 Jan 2027. Exercise, Healthy Diet etc. I think i have a form of complex PTSD. If symptoms don't subside, I'm going for the Stellate Ganglion Block. It's not exactly a "last resort" in the same way as ECT because risks are minimal.
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
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Yeh, I'm gonna do everything right until 1 Jan 2027. Exercise, Healthy Diet etc. I think i have a form of complex PTSD. If symptoms don't subside, I'm going for the Stellate Ganglion Block. It's not exactly a "last resort" in the same way as ECT because risks are minimal.
Don't set goals so lofty you set yourself up to fail. Doing everything right for 7 years is lofty af.
 

HypersensitiveHarry

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
3
Don't set goals so lofty you set yourself up to fail. Doing everything right for 7 years is lofty af.
Brother, I'm quite a severe case and I've been told meds can't help me. I have no choice anymore. I've been living very unhealthily these past 2.25 years.
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
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Brother, I'm quite a severe case and I've been told meds can't help me. I have no choice anymore. I've been living very unhealthily these past 2.25 years.
6-12mo of healthy living can make a big difference. Hell, even 2 years is enough and not so unthinkable. I don't know anyone that I would bet money on being able to stay on the straight and narrow for 7 years. Life has ups and downs, naturally. Saying you're going to do everything right for 7 years is setting yourself up to fail IMO. If you have agreements in place for yourself to get lazy again, become depressed, experience heartbreak, etc. through which you can reconcile the downs with the 7 year goal then, that's more doable. But man, do you even realize how long 7 years is? You'll be a different person twice or thrice over in that time.
 

I hope it gets better

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
41
UPD
Hey guys ,I took MDMA for the first time in my life for 3 consecutive days on the 24th,25th,26th of December, on the first day I had half a pill ,on the second day I had 2 pills and on the 3rd day I had two pills.

I felt some effects on the first day,the second I fell effects but it was a bad high I wasn't happy at all and on the third day I wasn't high at all ,I had absolutely no effects at all even after the second pill I took.

The 3 day MDMA taking stopped ,on the 27th of December was the first day into withdrawal but I felt no withdrawal effects at all ,everything was normal until I tried to sleep that day ,I got brain zaps couldn't sleep ,I probably slept for 3 or 4 hours ,and it was at one go it was in between sleep and being awake.

The following couple of days was a nightmare ,also no sleep ,no appetite I didn't want to go out ,my heart beat raced ,anxiety peaked and I was anti social, but as the days furthered sleep became better .

A month and 2 weeks into it now .My concentration is all over the place ,I get these moments of staring into space blankly ,my neck twitches/jerks when I'm focused on a task,I have sever head pressure it feels like a headache but its not painful at all ,the roof of my mouth and gums become numb and feel weird,they feel like their swollen but are not.

i don't know if I'm experiencing different effects from everyone else because I'm epileptic but the last time I had a seizure was 5 years ago ,I don't know if the head jerks and lapses in attention and swollen gum like sensation is caused by ,unusual brain activity triggered by that first time MDMA use.

Sometimes I wake up positive but these days I'm contemplating why am I even alive ,I feel like going through a day is torture ,going to bed has become a celebration now.

please guys help a stranger.

N/B :English is not my mother tongue sorry for the inconvenience.
UPDATE:

Hey guys thought I should do an update on my situation ,I went to the doctor and they did an MRI ,to my amazement they found no damage whatsoever ,in fact they found the exact opposite ,you see a couple of years back I had a seizure and they did an MRI back than and found that I had a lesion in my brain ,but this recent MRI I did showed that my lesion had completely healed ,so the brain can in fact heal over time and that's completely amazing anything is possible with the brain ,although I'm still fighting this depression and anxiety induced by MDMA at least I know that there is no structural damage on my brain and what I need to work on is the mental part ,I need to fight with all the negative thoughts that I have ,because I realized that as much as my chemicals were imbalanced for some time,obsessing and thinking that I was brain damaged made everything way worse ,so what you feed the mind is what the mind does.Now that I know the results I feel about 80% myself again and the rest I guess I need to work on mentally mending and exercising ,with good food.
 

I hope it gets better

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
41
6-12mo of healthy living can make a big difference. Hell, even 2 years is enough and not so unthinkable. I don't know anyone that I would bet money on being able to stay on the straight and narrow for 7 years. Life has ups and downs, naturally. Saying you're going to do everything right for 7 years is setting yourself up to fail IMO. If you have agreements in place for yourself to get lazy again, become depressed, experience heartbreak, etc. through which you can reconcile the downs with the 7 year goal then, that's more doable. But man, do you even realize how long 7 years is? You'll be a different person twice or thrice over in that time.
7 years is a long time to wait for progress ,take everything month by month ,you won't be the same person you were when you started the month ,if you feed your brain that mentality it will change for the better ,but if you feed yourself that the only time you will feel better is after 7 years ,that's a long time and your setting yourself up for failure ,start small and take everything month to month and track your progress, and the best natural medicine is exercise ,eating healthy..
 

I hope it gets better

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
41
Hey guys I need your advice on something I went to the doctor for an MRI because I stupidly took MDMA for 3 days straight ,the scan came back normal I had no brain damage ,but that still doesn't explain why I still have neck jerks that are involuntary ,the doctor prescribed tegratol its an anticonvulsant medication but I'm scared that when I take it its gonna mess up my chemical balance because I already did with that mdma abuse.

Your views on the matter will be much appreciated.
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
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Location
noitacoL
Looks like it has effects on Serotonin systems and may even be a weak SSRI. Overall it's mainly a Sodium channel blocker, though. You're likely fine to at least try it and see how it affects you.
 

I hope it gets better

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
41
Looks like it has effects on Serotonin systems and may even be a weak SSRI. Overall it's mainly a Sodium channel blocker, though. You're likely fine to at least try it and see how it affects you.
Dont you think this will ,imbalance my serotonin once again ? Because ive only just recently been able to recover and maintain a stable mood after a 2 months of not being emotionally well.
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
2,481
Location
noitacoL
Lots of people with LTC have issues with SSRIs, lots of people are helped, and lots don't have effects either way. It's totally possible it affects you negatively, yes, and it may affect you positively. Trust your gut in regards to possible help with jerks VS possible damage.
 

Lookingforanswers25

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 23, 2020
Messages
11
Hi, this is my first post.

I’m quite an active 26 year old male who for the last 2 months has been experiencing a variety of symptoms which have links to ALS/MND. The symptoms started after I had a panic attack on a 5 hour plane flight and required an oxygen mask. About 30 hours before this I had been drinking with friends and at the end of the night I snorted some MDMA, something I deeply regret. I had been for a short run earlier that day and didn’t eat much that night before partying. I’m not a big drug user and I am usually quite a fit and healthy person, although I had some mdma at a festival about a month prior and had used cocaine occasionally on some nights out as well. I went home and slept for around 4 hours that night and then slept on a little the next day before sleeping the next night for 6 hours or so. On this occasion I only took MDMA.

Ever since I got off the plane after the panic attack I haven’t felt the same. I had another 13 hour overseas flight the next day and was on holiday for a month. Over this time I experienced another couple of panic attacks, and persistent weakness in my legs as well as pins and needles, dizziness and tremors. Since then the pins and needles have subsided and I’m left with Muscle weakness, muscle loss and fasciculations that don’t stop in my calf muscles. I feel stiff and am having trouble walking at times because I feel weak and fatigued. I am also getting a burning sensation on the top of my head.

I have had a brain mri, blood tests and a chest x Ray. All of which came back clear. I’m waiting on the results of an EEG test and a blood enzyme test to see if my muscle is breaking down. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. At the moment I am quite scared that I might have MND/ALS and am unable to function normally, each day feels like a month at the moment. I’m really hoping this is a LTC from MDMA rather than something else. Has anyone experienced something like this before? Thanks for taking the time to read this and once again, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
Last edited:

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
62
@Lookingforanswers25 read back a few pages and you’ll find a few tips and some advice from people. The LTC can be brutal but a necessary teacher, Imo. I hope you recover swiftly!

This is for everyone else:
I remember a while back @epic11 suggested that perhaps we were depressed before the LTC and that’s why we got into one when doing MDMA. I now see why he suggested that. I’ve been back to normal for a while now, but I’ve noticed that I’m back to myself pre-LTC, and that person was pretty depressed from a break up. The LTC really made me look within myself to see how to overcome the hell I was in, and now that it’s over I can see how sad and depressed I was before the LTC. That’s why I was drawn to MDMA. It made me feel happy again.

I crave MDMA again, the euphoria and the bliss is something I really wish I could feel again, but I know it’s just going to put me back into the hell I was in until I get past my previous issues and come to terms with the past.
 

Benjaha

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Messages
14
Hey guys I need your advice on something I went to the doctor for an MRI because I stupidly took MDMA for 3 days straight ,the scan came back normal I had no brain damage ,but that still doesn't explain why I still have neck jerks that are involuntary ,the doctor prescribed tegratol its an anticonvulsant medication but I'm scared that when I take it its gonna mess up my chemical balance because I already did with that mdma abuse.

Your views on the matter will be much appreciated.
I'd suggest leaving it out, unless the neck jerks are completely getting in the way of your daily activities. I'm over 2 years into my long term comedown, and I had neck and leg jerks for approx the first 6 months to a year - I think its "normal" in a LTC and I personally wouldn't take any medication for it unless its extremely severe. I don't want to contradict something a medical professional has advised but equally, they have very little understanding of the concept of a long-term comedown, its not even medically recognised.
 
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