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Blog Kicking Kratom Once and For All!!!

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Thanks guys - rational brain has saved the day the last couple days. Almost caving to the prospect of "just a little more"
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Well done on the ability to resist the temptation man! I as well turned down a free 10mg oxy today at work on my 3rd day off the pills. Still can't believe I did that. Sitting at home now after the day's work, I'm really glad I did.
Great job! I still know that I am unable to resist the temptation if anything opiate related is in front of me so avoidance is still very key to keep me off at this point
 

Erikmen

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
20,805
KD,

Hope you can get through your days and resist.
Keep your distance, keep resisting and the sooner you give this up for good, the closest you get to your victory.
Wish you a nice holiday!
Erik.
 
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KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Thanks Erik and same to you!

Family visiting all day today - day 7. Hope everyone can find peace and comfort over the holidays
 

Erikmen

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
20,805
Had a glass of Champagne last night. For a moment I felt like having a couple of beers but I didn't.
It's very strange to spend Christmas sober specially when everyone is drinking.

I've never had any problems with alcohol but being sober and all I think it could be that thing you could want to do more than a couple of times. Or eventually.

Same applies for MJ. I don't think that would be a problem at all. Never really enjoyed it.
But again, I could start doing it more often than I should or was used to.
Playing safe suits me atm.
 
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Panthermom

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 30, 2015
Messages
1
Reading what all of you say about coming of Kratom gives me hope! I'm so scared and afraid of the withdrawal that I have been trying to stop for a year without success!
 

Erikmen

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
20,805
Panthermom,
Welcome to Bluelight!
The fear is greater than the actual withdrawal itself.
It makes it bigger, scarier. Only you can stop this.

You can do this! Keep trying, one day after another.
We can do whatever you want to.
If you want to do this, you'll make it!
If I did, you can.
Erik
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Well it’s been more than 2.5 years since my last post and well, you guessed it. Fell back into my old ways in mid Jan of 2016. Broke all the trust of my wife (who doesn’t know or maybe she does that I’m back on Kratom). My saving grace is I’ve worked to “limit” my intake so it didn’t get as high as last time. That being said, I’m still dosing 5-6 times per day, averaging 60 caps each day.

Last week I told myself enough - again. Setup a taper plan this go around because recalling the terrible withdrawals last time I quit has me wanting to avoid that at all costs.

I plan on checking in here daily. Today is my 3rd day of taper and has me at I believe 52 caps total (spread over 5 doses).

I’m 38 years old and have been on this shit now for more than a decade. I feel truly fortunate I’ve been able to maintain a career but relationships have all gone to shit. Time feels like it’s running out for me to make permanent changes in my life....
 

somnilicious

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,213
Location
Orlando, Fl
Well it’s been more than 2.5 years since my last post and well, you guessed it. Fell back into my old ways in mid Jan of 2016. Broke all the trust of my wife (who doesn’t know or maybe she does that I’m back on Kratom). My saving grace is I’ve worked to “limit” my intake so it didn’t get as high as last time. That being said, I’m still dosing 5-6 times per day, averaging 60 caps each day.

Last week I told myself enough - again. Setup a taper plan this go around because recalling the terrible withdrawals last time I quit has me wanting to avoid that at all costs.

I plan on checking in here daily. Today is my 3rd day of taper and has me at I believe 52 caps total (spread over 5 doses).

I’m 38 years old and have been on this shit now for more than a decade. I feel truly fortunate I’ve been able to maintain a career but relationships have all gone to shit. Time feels like it’s running out for me to make permanent changes in my life....
You got this!! If you taper slowly than it should be relatively painless. I just quit a kratom habit and I'm on day 23 and I feel so much better. I still have a bit of anxiety and blues but that is more indicative of my current situation. I only used kratom for 4 months at about 15-30 grams per day but that was on the tail end of another heroin relapse. I have been a heroin addict for 20 years. I am now over 4mths clean from that. Fuck opiates!! You will start to feel so much more alive when you are off that shit. Filling the time and finding energy and motivation might be a challenge in the beginning but once you reacclimate and start saving that money you'll feel like a champ...

If you can get gabapentin it will be a life saver.
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
You got this!! If you taper slowly than it should be relatively painless. I just quit a kratom habit and I'm on day 23 and I feel so much better. I still have a bit of anxiety and blues but that is more indicative of my current situation. I only used kratom for 4 months at about 15-30 grams per day but that was on the tail end of another heroin relapse. I have been a heroin addict for 20 years. I am now over 4mths clean from that. Fuck opiates!! You will start to feel so much more alive when you are off that shit. Filling the time and finding energy and motivation might be a challenge in the beginning but once you reacclimate and start saving that money you'll feel like a champ...

If you can get gabapentin it will be a life saver.
Thanks Som. I remember how much better I felt when I was not using. That energy and motivation is what ultimately is making me want to give this another go.

I don’t think I can get any gaba but will be considering my options to make this as painless as possible once my Kratom dosage gets low and I jump off
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Survived day 3 of the taper and stayed on target. 54 caps. Already my brain is trying to convince me to take larger doses than I have laid out. I love how much our brains work to derail our best of intentions - not.
 

Xorkoth

Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
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Feb 8, 2006
Messages
39,881
Location
Shadowmeister v0
Hey man, you got this! You did it before. Just keep in mind how good it felt once you were done, all that energy and motivation and no need to sneak around... living your life in the open is a great feeling. :)
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Hey man, you got this! You did it before. Just keep in mind how good it felt once you were done, all that energy and motivation and no need to sneak around... living your life in the open is a great feeling. :)
thanks man I know just seems to get harder. I tapered on plan until Friday and then went back to my normal daily doses. I was getting so anxious thinking about going without and lowering my dose that I just caved. No real good reason really except for irrational mind games.

part of me just wants to say screw it and keep on keeping on. However having to sneak around my wife’s back to buy and use makes me feel terrible every single day :(
 

Xorkoth

Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Joined
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Messages
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I was addicted to opiates for 10 years and I've been addicted to phenibut, too. Every time you get physically dependent and go through withdrawals, it gets easier to get dependent again the next time, and the withdrawals are worse. It's a phenomenon known as "kindling". So it actually does get harder. However, after 10 years of opiates (the first 6 were primarily kratom and then I moved to harder opiates when it basically just stopped doing anything but preventing withdrawal), I have been clean for 6 years and it's been a long time since I even struggled with it. It takes a while to feel 100% normal but it's totally worth it. :)

If you can get ahold of some gabapentin, it can help a whole lot with the withdrawals. If you just take it for like a week, you'll be past almost all of the kratom withdrawals and it won't be long enough to get dependent on gabapentin.
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
I was addicted to opiates for 10 years and I've been addicted to phenibut, too. Every time you get physically dependent and go through withdrawals, it gets easier to get dependent again the next time, and the withdrawals are worse. It's a phenomenon known as "kindling". So it actually does get harder. However, after 10 years of opiates (the first 6 were primarily kratom and then I moved to harder opiates when it basically just stopped doing anything but preventing withdrawal), I have been clean for 6 years and it's been a long time since I even struggled with it. It takes a while to feel 100% normal but it's totally worth it. :)

If you can get ahold of some gabapentin, it can help a whole lot with the withdrawals. If you just take it for like a week, you'll be past almost all of the kratom withdrawals and it won't be long enough to get dependent on gabapentin.
Thanks Xorkoth. I’m not giving up on the idea of beating this shit. At a minimum I’m going to ensure dosage doesn’t escalate and I can get continue to step down. I think I was too aggressive out of the gate dropping 2-3 caps each day when daily total was 60 to start. It got me unnecessarily anxious.
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
247
Woke up this am with a renewed sense of determination. Came across the quittingkratom subreddit last night and the fact there is such a large community of people united to get off this shit is encouraging. I plan to continue to post here daily and hang out in Reddit as well.

that being said, after dosing 60 caps per day Friday through Sunday I decided to jump back on taper schedule and go with 40 caps this entire week (4x10). The hard part will be dealing with sleep so I am going to try and hold the last dose of the day as close to bedtime as possible. Picking up some chamomile tea today to also add tobed time routine. I also plan on taking brisk walks at a minimum in the evening after work but would also like to do so before work as well to help stave off that crappy withdrawal feeling when you wake up.

goal is to basically dose 10 caps at 9:30 AM, 2:30 PM, 6:30 PM and 10:30 PM. Praying to the sober gods to give me the strength of body and mind to make it through once and for all.
 

somnilicious

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,213
Location
Orlando, Fl
You might try kava root.... It is good for anxiety and mood boost. If you get good root it can actually be enjoyably intoxicating, without being too over the top or addictive. Using it helped me a lot with quitting kratom because I also was addicted to the routine of taking something everyday the kava greatly distracted me from dosing up on kratom.
 
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