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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Drugs - my best friend.

madness00 said:
Yeah @ChemicallyEnhanced - my parents have money too, and raised me right, but i'm still such a fuck up.

Not even saying it's bad that i'm a "fuck up", like me and @Mafioso are saying, it's kind of exciting to live like this.

They just want to know that i'm happy, and for the most part I am. Now that i'm stable on Bipolar meds, i'm happy rolling in my own shit.

TBH, all this said, the main reason why I want a good job again is so I can use meth.

It's not that I can't live without drugs.. I've gone sober for 6 month periods.. I just really prefer not to.
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My Dad is so obsessed with being very strict and straight-laced and ALWAYS doing the "right thing". He's pretty conservative too. I think that's why we clash because I'm so laid back and liberal (most people would say too liberal).
I've personally diagnosed him with Obsessive Compulsive Personality DIsorder (it's very different from OC). Especially with thinking he is ALWAYS right, insane lists of rigid rules that he enforced on everybody, impossibly high expectations for himself that he expects everyone else to also achieve, etc.
I had low-blood sugar one while we were in a super-market so I opened a bag of gummie worms and ate some while we where shopping and he got VERY embarrassed and (went bright red in the face) and angry at me, even though he knew were were still had the packet with the barcode and were going to pay for them. Apparently I was still "stealing" and "all of the security camera's will be watching us"
 
IDK where I stand with morals and shit. My therapist has proved some pretty harsh realities to me in regards to my personality, and IDK where I stand with it all. Yeah, I have feelings, strong at times. I value them though, as if I didn't have as many feelings I'd be even more of a mess.
 
madness00 said:
IDK where I stand with morals and shit. My therapist has proved some pretty harsh realities to me in regards to my personality, and IDK where I stand with it all. Yeah, I have feelings, strong at times. I value them though, as if I didn't have as many feelings I'd be even more of a mess.
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I get it. My emotions are way too strong, though. Borderline PD is like the mental equivalent of being covered in burns.
Sometimes it's like I have no feeling, though and I just feel very empty and numb.
 
madness00 said:
There's something sexy about passionate people.
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Yes: And one can always see the passion in people. My weakness. And strength of character is really almost a prerequisite for lack of a better term. Without it it's like "what do you want?" type encounters. No time for BSing
Ramblings....
 
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