• Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

Coming off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v3

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
Yes Curtis I note all the advice ! But i have a question, you can feel emotions now ? libido? thoughts ? and before Nothing of that ? you will heal in the moment ! ?
 

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
Its been almost a year since i was injected and im not hearing voices or in psychosis yet...
How are you recovery wise , Invegasucksx?

I've been working out for an hour each day to try and get it out of my system faster. I don't think I'll be able to build muscle at this point, but I think I may be squeezing out of the muscle by lifting. Doesn't hurt to try.
 

CurtisO

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
37
@Antipsychotique33
Yes I do have emotions. I teared up something fierce seeing both my uncles' caskets side by side like that. Still anger just not a great extent. If it's a strong emotion it peaks through. Libido is pretty good. I like getting hard to Tamaki and Krista James..lol. Damn still not convinced. Still gonna wait till month 10 to try and gain muscle. Thoughts are there but they're most bs negative ones. I've gotten better at not being attached to those. And i just distract myself best i can with school work, video games, amazon fire stick, and daily routine. It seems to go by a little faster now. I do feel much better. It's really bearable now. Month 1 to 6 was hell. Month 7 started feeling much better. May have to do with decreased dose after some half lives.
I'm 7 3/4 months off. My sleep is better than a few months ago. As long as i sleep late around 11pm i can sleep about 6 straight hours. I only eat two meals a day. Mostly just chocolate oatmeal at around 11am and a little dinner around 6pm. Oh from what I've read on here It's no hoping! lol I've read a lot with only two shots either being cured or getting much better at 10 months. Deep down.. I just know some shits goin down at like the 9 1/2 to 10 month mark.
 
Last edited:

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
The last threat you say you Don't have emotions, you have now its very very nice race of heal, i wish you the best you here in the good race. Month 1 to 6 month and 2 weeks no improvement at all i have impression of permanent Everyday its crazy.. i see a lot of person who has the same effect than me and the person heal its crazy i Don't know how but its heal.. and other no … The mindset of this person now must be crazy … lot of hapiness and compassion with this fuckings probleme behind her.

Wish you the best for all. In the race of hell.
 

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
Come on now anripsychotique, you will get better. No one has reported healing before the ninth month but there are a lot of people who have said that after month 9 it get better. Keep holding out. I can't see a light either but it must be there.
 

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
I wish Katrina Ty for the message but you in four month your blink mind have an improvement you can have a thought for me i have 1 injection 6month and 2 weeks no improvement its crazy..
 

CurtisO

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
37
I've heard so many.. Starkid.. That say this substance is "permanently damaging". That used to terrify me. But now, after how better I've gotten in 8 months, realize that's all bullshit. Comments like that now enrage me. To have been scared out of my mind from worthless comments like that.. I truly do wish the worst for you starkid. I hope you stay stuck in your negative little thought loop forever..
 

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
Curtis, Starkid in this time now he healed im great for this but not wish the death or bad things, have not hope in anhédonia is totally normal .. i lose hope Everyday, i walk,run all of things for healed but im not healed im scared of the permanent .. Everyday.. but i keep hope is my only Opportunity 6month and 2 weeks after no improvement at all... i wish healed find my emotions and my thoughts because a life without is impossible for me.

Empty how much month now you suffer from this anhédonia ? you have emotions where you psychosis return ? i wish you the best.
 

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
It is permanently damaging to me, I didn't want to get better, I wanted to feel like before Invega but this is not gonna happen and almost anybody who said they "healed" just forgot how did they feel before the injection.
Empty aren't you taking another antipsychotic?
 

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
I understand.. i have just a two word to say, "keep hope".. hang in there walk, run all things for healed.. and stop medication.. is a question of luck for me, i wish you the luck for healed.
 

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
Yes i know buy you wish a life without emotions and excitability sexual is impossble for me, impossible.. its my only Opportunity heal or death.. keep hope fight them and doing things can be heal
 

lifeline

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2018
Messages
169
Hello all, just giving you an update on where I currently am. I received 5 injections and my last injection was June 28, 2018. I am on month 10, week 44, day 308 and there has been no improvements. Still no thoughts, emotions, libido, appetite, interest, desire, or motivation. I’m still struggling with sleep. For 8 months I went without sleep. I started falling asleep a month and a half ago, but not for long. Maybe 3-4 hours. Like tonight I haven’t been to sleep. I don’t get tired at all. I’m miserable 24/7. I honestly thought and knew in my heart I would be better at this point or almost healed. I dunno what to say. My life has taken a different course. Most days I’m just frustrated with where I’m at and just lay in bed. I’m socially awkward, I struggle with speaking now. It’s like I don’t have anything to talk about except what I’m currently feeling. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like my life is ruined and I really just have to consider that I’m going to be disabled without a future now. It’s depressing seeing all of my frat brothers and colleagues working, building on relationships, traveling, living their life to the fullest while I’ve lost my independence and privileges. No social life, work, goals, hobbies, recreational activities to explore. I feel like the doctors ruined me and my future. It’s so unfair. Before this, I was living a structure life without having to be dependent on my family to take care of me and it’s honestly wearing thin on my mom. I just wish I was never in this situation. I will never get this time back. My entire year of existence at age 26 I lived through this and now I’m 27 in the same situation. I pray so much about this everyday, I’m giving up on the Lord. I just don’t understand how this is in his will for me. I’m tired of suffering. I just want to be functional and live a normal life. I don’t want to result to taking my own life. I just don’t know how much longer I have in me to watch others freely live their life how they want to everyday while I’m disabled in this sedated state not being able to be functional. I was planning on going to grad school and getting my masters while working and building on my own business and now that plan has been completely altere by this unfathomable life changing experience. I’ve read many stories of people being better, healed, or making some improvements by this stage. This is the worst experience ever. Even worst than depression.
 

lifeline

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2018
Messages
169
Apparently it takes 150-300 days to clear your system and I have already surpassed the days. I’m unclear on how things haven’t shifted for me. I really just want to be in a better state of being. I have been trying to stay off the site until I have a true update but unfortunately nothing has changed. This is crazy. It’s like something off of a movie. It’s like I was injected with cement. I’m just blank all day long. It’s a everyday struggle. And I do want to call quits but something inside me hasn’t given all the way up yet. I try to reflect on moments when I was “normal” and I didn’t worry about these stupid side effects I’ve been dealing with. I look through old pictures and try to reflect. God knows I just want to have thoughts and emotions again as well as a sex drive. I miss those things so much. I know I’m not the only one.
 

cj

Moderator: Blogs
Joined
Nov 18, 2008
Messages
9,775
Location
On a sinking boat
Apparently it takes 150-300 days to clear your system and I have already surpassed the days. I’m unclear on how things haven’t shifted for me. I really just want to be in a better state of being. I have been trying to stay off the site until I have a true update but unfortunately nothing has changed. This is crazy. It’s like something off of a movie. It’s like I was injected with cement. I’m just blank all day long. It’s a everyday struggle. And I do want to call quits but something inside me hasn’t given all the way up yet. I try to reflect on moments when I was “normal” and I didn’t worry about these stupid side effects I’ve been dealing with. I look through old pictures and try to reflect. God knows I just want to have thoughts and emotions again as well as a sex drive. I miss those things so much. I know I’m not the only one.
Hang in there man. You still have a long life ahead of you. Your receptors will recycle eventually. You got a big dose 5 times. With long halflife drugs they can do something called "stack" (not scientist term) which is when your body hasn't processed the drug completely before getting another shot and more drug. So it may take a little longer for you to clear it. It hasn't been a year yet so don't give up.
 

Antipsychotique33

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
128
You not choising if you heal or no i kniw but you choice if you Believe in that, i Don't understand youre comportement, you can lose hope Everyday is normal, bad things Everyday, but no abandon …. if you abandone so we live a live without emotions and thoughts and no libido for the reste of your days really ? you understand ?? No emotions, no thoughts , no libido .. all who does a human ! its impossible for me and for you...
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
Yesterday I could tell that I was getting better. I went ouside to have fun with my kids, something I haven't been able to do . I noticed that I was getting engaged and that I was ok with just existing in the moment for the first time since injection. Before I would try my best to pay attention but didn't care about anything and just wanted to go sit down and stare into space. That is going away. I felt a small semblance of happiness. There is hope.

It's been really hard on my kids to have to experience a completely different mom. Before I was always showing them the fun in life, laughing, joking. Now I can't do any of that. The brain on invega cannot comprehend fun. My kids are the most important thing in the world to me. I thought invega couldn't touch the special bond between me and them. Well, it could. It disconnected me from my emotions so much that I could not remember the feeling of connection between them and I. This is so unacceptable to me. It would be better to be dead. I did want to kill myself, a lot. I had never felt like that before. Never been a "depressed" person. I've been pretending to be myself and fighting tooth and claw every single day to be the person that I was, for my kids. This might be the reason I'm getting some breakthroughs so early. Brain plasticity can work for and against us, I think. We have to work to train our brains back. The single common thread between most who recovered is that they believed that they could , and they kept putting themselves out there. I think we'll recover regardless, there's no way that invega can block the pathways forever. It can maybe change the pathways, but we also have at least some ability to change our pathways by our actions. Plasticity goes both ways. Can you imaging being recovered, and being able to get dopamine hits again, but not being able to realize it because you don't believe it's possible? Then maybe like Narshe you go into psychosis again without even having been able to enjoy the dopamine you now realize you had access to all along. How would that be. We have to keep testing our brains.

You are strong for holding on. You are strong for just existing every day. People who have never been on invega say that, but they have no idea what it means. What invega does to you is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, to have all meaning ripped from your life. If you are still here, you have hope. I read LAPD's thread on survivingantidepressants and it was heartbreaking. He killed himself after five months after a haldol injection. I think you have to be really strong to go through this.

I think this is all childishly written. I'm still dumb as hell from invega. I think that "bright spark" of inspiration that Emersonny was talking about may never come back. Some things you can't control. What is bothering me the most is the destruction of the libido. Having your sexual identity ripped away is harsh. I'm really hoping for big improvement at six months.

Hang in there.
 

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
I would not have been able to think half the thoughts in that post, let alone organize them enough to type them out, a month ago.
 

Kaatrina

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2019
Messages
31
Empty, you may be right. I remember there being a feeling of "love" and I remember that feeling fading away, but now of course I can't say what that feeling felt like. Emotions are so hard to explain. It made me question what love was, of course I couldn't accept the fact that I don't love my kids or husband because the feeling isn't there anymore, so I continued to say and made myself believe that I loved them, and act how I knew I would act if I did love them. Now, I can say I love them, and it's true to me. But what about the feeling? How will I know I would have it if I can't remember what it feels like? It would have to be a miracle.

Libido wise i'm the same as you. Last time I had sex I cried because that dopamine rush that over body good feeling just wasn't there at all, it was just like a slightly enjoyable activity.

I just have to keep pretending and pretending and trying and trying. I still have hope it will come back.
 

Jonnyhalo

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 25, 2018
Messages
145
Location
Oregon
@Empty1128.. About adapting and moving on that's a scary thought for me.. My ex just came back into life and had no feeling of love or excitment I was with her for 5 yrs. It's like I'm in hell I can be around people I wanna be around but can't enjoy there company.. And I still can't cry... I don't know how much longer I'll last like this i have nothing to look forward to in my day.. I'm living off of memories of old interests and things I used to love. I'm constantly depressed cuz I have nothing that gives me pleasure..

Day 292. Week 42. Still no improvements. Smh this is sickening. There is absolutely no reason some medication should last in your system this long. I haven’t taken any antipsychotic medication since November 2018. I’m so fed up with this bullshit my patience has run out. My birthday is in 5 days and I’ve literally been in this situation since my birthday last year. A whole year with no new thoughts, emotions, or libido. I’m starting to believe this shit is permanent. It’s almost impossible to be positive at this point. I’m tired of watching everyone else live their life while I suffer. This is horrible, a bad dream that I thought would have ended by now. I can’t even smoke on 4/20. I wasn’t able too last year and it looks like I won’t be able to this year as well. I feel cursed by God. I’m miserable 24/7. This is just unfair. I really wish this wasn’t happening to me. Why man why. I just don’t understand.
I'm in the same boat amigo 7 months off no improvement I feel like I'm hell, I can't feel any typ of enjoyment or pleasure nothing to look forward to every day

So I'm having a hard time following everybody's post I just click on invega and list comes up with names on the topic so if I have repeated my self sorry.. But 7 months now may 20th will be my 8th month off, so just seeing that other people have reached 300 days plus I'm of the opinion that invega has altered my brain and my brain is growing away from the changes made.. So when I got the invega injection I noticed that my hair started falling out all over my body and it still is I really don't want to lose my eyebrow but there thinin out, anyway I took a blood test like two months ago all my hormones are normal prolactin, testasteron, and my thyroid is fine... Yet I'm I still cannot get excited about hobbies or movies and I still cannot get deeply upset and cry it just dosent happen, how every there are a couple songs that got me pumped I wanted to jam them and I actually felt good. Now on the libido well I can get erections now and no problems with ejaculating, but I don't get excited for sex like I did before invega.

now I do have problems with conversations it's hard to explain but I was trying to reconnect with my ex girlfriend and couldn't really talk about myself I think it's cuz I lost intrestes in everything, and it's hard for me to have a deep conversations about different subjects like I don't care about what we are talking about to a degree. My motivation to go to work and to get out and hang with friends is still shit, my only drive is I don't want to alone.

Most days I'm depressed because I'm not myself I have been talking to this koz or kaz I can't remember his handel, but we are friends on facebook he said around 12 month he snapped back and started hitting the gym again and he said by 24 months he was back MMA fighting and I asked him about feeling excited and motivation and being able to cry, he said around 12 to 15 months it will come back. But right now I still doubt it
 
Top