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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

@Tranced For some I believe it's more anxiety related like it was for Dawglaw. Someone who found social drinking very helpful in terms of aiding his recovery from his LTC. Now for others like myself who have physical symptoms like head pressure, tightness/pressure in my heart and stomach who immediately get a setback in our recovery if we engage in any serotonergic substance fun, I believe that it's definitely not anxiety related. If it was the physical symptoms would likely be worse in moments of high anxiety, they aren't. Please do share your LTC like experience Tranced

@Needhelp123 I seriously doubt it. This combo isn't common but nor is it all that unheard of. Not to mention victims of an LTC don't usually get their symptoms until at least two days after their roll, mine started the next morning.
 
My symptoms started about 2 days later with head pressure / dizziness, depression then insomnia and eye floaters followed about a month later. I had 3 x 200mg pills over about 4 to 5 hours. Interesting you mention drinking as I have noticed alcohol and caffeine make my symptoms temporarily worse, in particular the head pressure and floaters. I was living clean, exercising etc, I dint have a drink for 4 months but nothing improved so I'm kinda giving up a bit now and started to drink a bit again and eat what I want etc as I think trying all that clean living discipline was making me even more depressed.
 
@Brucey85 I've noticed that with caffeine, alcohol, & the one time I tried coke during my ltc. Anything that depletes serotonin is all around setback for those of use with those physical symptoms and should be avoided until we are out of this hell as they will only extend our stay. That also includes simple carbs(especially sugar), avoid artificial sweeteners as well as these also cause you to lose serotonin.
 
@dany what does getting Ltc a day or two days after make a difference. I believe I read somewhere that Addy + mdma is a neurotoxic combination
 
@Dany- So acrylamide and glycidol were the two that seemed to stand out the most as possible impurities which are both neurotoxic. Glycidol has CNS depressant effects which seem to match the "mongy" effects of the "bad mdma."

The term "mongy" is typically used to describe an MDMA experience that is somewhat sedating/lethargic, where you planted on your ass. It can happen more often at higher doses too, so may be accompanied by eyes rolling into the back of the head and jaw clenching. The opposite of that social, everyone's my friend, type effect that most seek when they take this drug. It was the term that became the common word to describe lackluster MDMA.

But back to those two impurities. Acrylamide may be the culprit, the neurotoxicity and symptoms seem to match LTC fairly well. Head pressure, tingling, fatigue, vision problems... The only thing is it would be a rather low dosage in these cases compared to those seen in studies, if it were the culprit. My theory though is that it's possible when combined with another potentially neurotoxic substance (mdma) it lowers the bodies antioxidant defense system to the point where the acrylamide can cause some damage.

LTC seems to me to be a combination of the symptoms from acrylamide and mdma neurotoxicity. It's a very real possibility.

Sadly acrylamide toxicity also matches LTC in that it gets better for a lot of people but for some never fully goes away.

Now please people don't let this freak you out. It's just a theory, we've yet to see any samples contain any amount of acrylamide.


Also I like how you guys have been trying to find commonalities between each experience because there seems to be a pattern with symptoms. For instance the fact it takes a few days to a week for the onset. A list should be made as it may help to determine the problem.

-GC
 
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@Needhelp123 We're trying to find common patterns between our LTC's to better pinpoint the impurity responsible for our ltc's

@G_Chem I doubt it's glycidol as this not so fun ltc causing roll felt speedy and unenjoyable, I couldn't stop moving my body and biting like crazy. I think your acrylamide theory worsening mdma's neurotoxicity is very good, unfortunately there seems to be a lot less on this than mercury poisoning to dig up. At least both of these look to be best treated with time and a specific type of detox, so even though there's no way for us to know with certainty what it is, we have a plan of attack that's likely the best option for everyone to improve.

EVERYONE, please describe the roll that caused your ltc, how many days it took for it to start from your roll, what your symptoms were/are, whats helped you, as we need to find commonalities throughout our situations so we can continue to better construct our ideas regarding what impurity or impurities is causing all of this
 
@Needhelp123 We're trying to find common patterns between our LTC's to better pinpoint the impurity responsible for our ltc's

@G_Chem I doubt it's glycidol as this not so fun ltc causing roll felt speedy and unenjoyable, I couldn't stop moving my body and biting like crazy. I think your acrylamide theory worsening mdma's neurotoxicity is very good, unfortunately there seems to be a lot less on this than mercury poisoning to dig up. At least both of these look to be best treated with time and a specific type of detox, so even though there's no way for us to know with certainty what it is, we have a plan of attack that's likely the best option for everyone to improve.

EVERYONE, please describe the roll that caused your ltc, how many days it took for it to start from your roll, what your symptoms were/are, whats helped you, as we need to find commonalities throughout our situations so we can continue to better construct our ideas regarding what impurity or impurities is causing all of this

@danny - took about .2 of untested stuff while I was wasted. Felt pretty chill nothing crazy, but as up late partying at a local club. Got home and poured a drink and dropped the whiskey glass. Didn’t think any of it except clumsiness. Felt weird the next day but nothing major. Woke up day after (2 days after roll) and it felt like a bomb went off. Went to take a piss and couldn’t recognize myself in my mirror. My hearing and eyes were super sensitive and everything for a whole week felt like slow motion. The worst possible derealization. After a week things improved but I was still severely derealized. Additionally I had weakness on the left side of my body, higher body temperature, limbs fall asleep easier, and muscle twitches at night. After about two months I still had all of the above symptoms, but with addition of sinus pressure, pain behind the eyes, a pain the back right part of my head, and general headaches. I still have the above mentioned sides and it’s been 5 months. Additionally I have a weird sensation in my head that I can only describe as a disconnected, dizzy, lightheaded type of feeling. It’s like it’s xonstsnlty buzzing. I haven’t felt a euphoric calm/relaxed feeling since all this started.
 
Needhelp123 That head feeling you describe sounds exactly like what I have. Hard to explain. A kind of pressure but light headed feeling inside my head. If i turn my head then stop, when i stop it feels like its still moving. I had it years ago and it went after a week or so. Now I'm at 9 months with it. Guys, if serotonin depletion slows down the recovery would an anti depressants help speed it up? The longer this goes on the more depressed I'm starting to feel. My roll was extremely mongy / trippy, I had visuals that were on a similar level to a lsd trip, Beatles crawling up the walls n my curtian rails were spinning, stuff like that. Weird. Even tho the pills were tested as mdxx and rated around 200mg. Had bigger doses than this before (foolish i know) without all the same weird shit going on though.
 
@need help 123 and Brucey85

I had a similar experince. The comeup from the pills I took felt unusual. It felt a bit speedy I was able to think faster but I felt an odd minor sensation in the back of my head. I didnt really have a urge to dance at all. All I wanted to do was to talk to people. The second night I only consumed two half portions and got nothing but negative effects. The head sensation felt worse. It literally felt like something was burning that portion of my brain/head.

15 months in the symptoms have gotten better however I am not near 100%. Still hoping I can recover and move on with my life.
 
Took 0.6G Untested MDMA Red Bull from very reputable vendor with tons of positive reviews.
Week 1, Horribe short-term memory and concentration, like reading an article can't learn/understand sh*t.
Week 2, Horrible DPDR + All from WEEK 1, very moody.
Week 3 Starting to horrify myself that I've done damage to myself, anxiety and depression over 9000!
Week 4, After enough research I come to conclusion that DPDR is caused from anxiety and is defensive mechanism of the brain so I embrace it, I even start using it in my advantage and working and reading more, because nothing brings joy, so at least I benefit form it.
Week 5, DPDR gone, memory and concentration a little better... .

Week 6 til Today 1 year and 9 months, bad cognition - exactly the same symptoms from depression and anxiety.

So... you guys understand how frustrating is not having an answer if my cognition decline was caused from depression, PTSD (from the fear of doing damage to myself) or from the MDMA.

I'm tired.
 
@Zeroluck

I feel the same way. I am in constantly searching for an answer/for what has happened. Unfortunately, I dont think I will :/. I am in constant state of regret about what has happened because I was so reluctant about doing it but I threw caution into the wind.

I hate how other people are so dismissive about what we experiencing. Because it never has happened to them and I pray to god that it doesnt.
 
@Tranced For some I believe it's more anxiety related like it was for Dawglaw. Someone who found social drinking very helpful in terms of aiding his recovery from his LTC. Now for others like myself who have physical symptoms like head pressure, tightness/pressure in my heart and stomach who immediately get a setback in our recovery if we engage in any serotonergic substance fun, I believe that it's definitely not anxiety related. If it was the physical symptoms would likely be worse in moments of high anxiety, they aren't. Please do share your LTC like experience Tranced

@Needhelp123 I seriously doubt it. This combo isn't common but nor is it all that unheard of. Not to mention victims of an LTC don't usually get their symptoms until at least two days after their roll, mine started the next morning.

Okay, but the problem with your line of thinking is that what you are describing is not just applicable to 'LTC', but also widely associated with anxiety/depression.

Let's just try altering your quote and showing it from a different perspective

Now for others like myself who..... immediately get a setback in our recovery if we engage in any serotonergic substance anxiety inducing substance fun

Do you see what I mean? Plus there is going to be the element of worry/anxiety because you think you have serotonergic damage, and just used a serotonergic substance.

Now let's look at your purported LTC specific symptoms:

physical symptoms like :
Tightness in heart: Google results 1
Tightness in stomach: Google results 2
Head pressure:Google results 3

These are actually three of the most characteristic and common symptoms of anxiety and depression. I'd be interested if anybody could name a single LTC symptom which is not commonly reported by people with anxiety/depression.

I might post up my experience when I get back from the gym - which is currently working as my cure :)
 
@Zeroluck

I feel the same way. I am in constantly searching for an answer/for what has happened. Unfortunately, I dont think I will :/. I am in constant state of regret about what has happened because I was so reluctant about doing it but I threw caution into the wind.

I hate how other people are so dismissive about what we experiencing. Because it never has happened to them and I pray to god that it doesnt.

Not blaming other people for not understanding, like how much we care about people with cancer, dementia and .etc we're not fighting for their cause, so it's normal the world won't care much about us too. Regret is very useless buddy, like it's just unlucky don't blame yourself for the action you've took, we just got the short straw, being brave and exploring and .etc has benefits as well, it's how you handle it.

There's a lot of sh*t coming out lately, I feel like medicine can make a huge leap with all the deep learning, AI and stuff, we have to wait for 8-15 years imo, and make them useful. Isn't it just another form of hope anyway. I just want to be happy and secure in my life, nothing else, better start looking how can I achieve that.
 
Hey guys, little update. Lately I feel much better, like I'm finally coming back to life! I still have constant symptoms, and I don't think they will go away completely anytime soon, but they're much less intense and I have better mood. I not very trustful about this feeling - from my experience, more intense symptoms and feeling like "it's time to end this" can come back out of nowhere, but still, I think I feel the best since all this horror started. If this improvement will sustain for, let's say, month, I would say I'm confident that I'm recovering and there is hope for full recovery.
 
@Tranced I understand that most ltc symptoms including mine have been seen in some people with anxiety. I just know that this is not applicable in my situation because like I stated, the symptoms are entirely the same and not worse when I'm in situations of high anxiety. Also, I've had anxiety for many years preceding this injury to my serotonin and overall cognition, never once did I ever experience any symptoms like I have now. As for the serotonergic substance use worsening the ltc, I'm 100% sure that it's not anxiety. Even when I've been under the influence of booze.. despite being mellowed out more than usual, I notice an obvious increase in floaters during the buzz, and within hours of it wearing off I'll get brain zaps, worse feelings of dr, my overall cognition and reaction time decreases and get worse, and then the head pressure and heart stomach tightness also experience a setback. All noticeable before entering an anxiety causing situation. It will take about 1-2 weeks on average to get back to the point in my recovery where I was before I got drunk this once. If it's weed or coke, it'll take around 2-3 weeks to get back to where I was. Now to top of my serotonin depletion experiences, if I go on a sugar or caffeine binge for a day, it'll take around 3-5 days for me to get back to where I was in the recovery. I hope now you can see based on my experience and the experiences of some BL users who say the same thing regarding setbacks that for us, our ltc's are NOT caused by anxiety or depression.
 
@dany657 i also find setbacks similar to what you have described. I haven't taken any drugs since the LTC started. I noticed a heavy drink made my symptoms a lot worse for approx 3 weeks. A steady drink might be a few days to a week. If I have a lot of caffeine it's a few days worse symptoms etc. Its hard to stay off caffiene too as i suffer with insomnia so need the boost at work etc. Sick_guy I have experienced spells where I think it's getting better then I go back to where I was or temporarily worse for no apparent reason it's really disheartening. I hope for you it's not one of these false hope scenarios that I have been thru 2 or 3 times now cos it sucks, so fingers crossed.
 
@Brucey85 I know what you're talking about, the whole I want or feel like I need caffeine or the occasional booze soo much but can't have it. At times it feels all consuming yet we continue to press forward! Something I'd recommend trying for your insomnia would be doing your exercise at night, preferably finishing an hour or less before you hit the sheets. Though I've never had insomnia in my ongoing ltc.. I know from research and my own experience that falling and staying asleep soon after exercise is easier. I'll also feel more refreshed the next morning, I encourage you to give it a try. If this isn't enough, try taking l-tryptophan around 15 minutes before you wanna fall asleep.
 
Need advice. I?m obsessing over if I have hppd.. here are my symptoms (can?t tell if these are normal eye phenomenons or not and I am just hyper sensitive)
symptoms:
eye floaters - in sky, against white walls, only in certain lighting not in my vision 24/7 also had my eyes checked and doc said no floaters in my eye it?s coming from my brain

possible after images: not sure if this is normal, I don?t see after images all day everyday.. I see them when an object is against a white background example: my professor standing in front of a white board, I move my eyes an her figure is on the white board in a green purple light, this boys shirt in front of Me is yellow with purple lettering, I move my eyes and can see the words..

maybe trails? : if I wave my phone light in front of my eyes in a dark room the light trails with it.. can?t tell if this is normal as well although I feel like it is because I don?t see trailing anywhere else

maybe visual snow?: I only see grainyness in low light setting (not static I guess visual noise) but one morning I woke up and looked around the room and the grainyness was very noticeable for a few seconds that looked like static

im sorry for my constant posting about this I have OCD for sure but I want to start taking lexapro because I can?t take the anxiety anymore but I?ve read SSRIs make hppd worse or trigger them..
side note I took a Xanax yesterday and I get so off and even more anxious, closed my eyes and I could see the black in my eyes moving back and forth and lights moving, no patterns or anything but it?s weird..
 
Need advice. I?m obsessing over if I have hppd.. here are my symptoms (can?t tell if these are normal eye phenomenons or not and I am just hyper sensitive)
symptoms:
eye floaters - in sky, against white walls, only in certain lighting not in my vision 24/7 also had my eyes checked and doc said no floaters in my eye it?s coming from my brain

possible after images: not sure if this is normal, I don?t see after images all day everyday.. I see them when an object is against a white background example: my professor standing in front of a white board, I move my eyes an her figure is on the white board in a green purple light, this boys shirt in front of Me is yellow with purple lettering, I move my eyes and can see the words..

maybe trails? : if I wave my phone light in front of my eyes in a dark room the light trails with it.. can?t tell if this is normal as well although I feel like it is because I don?t see trailing anywhere else

maybe visual snow?: I only see grainyness in low light setting (not static I guess visual noise) but one morning I woke up and looked around the room and the grainyness was very noticeable for a few seconds that looked like static

im sorry for my constant posting about this I have OCD for sure but I want to start taking lexapro because I can?t take the anxiety anymore but I?ve read SSRIs make hppd worse or trigger them..
side note I took a Xanax yesterday and I get so off and even more anxious, closed my eyes and I could see the black in my eyes moving back and forth and lights moving, no patterns or anything but it?s weird..

i think most of what you’re seeing is normal and shouldn’t bother you. You are grasping to find issues - I think for ppl with HPPD it’s extremely obvious. For the floaters - are they static blobs (as if you were looking st dna under a microscope or something) or is it little flickers of light that dart around quickly?
 
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