Harm Reduction The Pain Management Megathread (Chronic and Acute Pain Discussion) v6

[closeau]

Good point rtp. Much happens behind closed doors. How are you? Is your hand stil numb? Youll have to go over your diagnosis for me again. You can PM me if you want. I just forget easily. Too much thc in my life, lol. Is there hope for you as far as relief? Any pain meds? I guess if its nervre issues youre on lyrica or gabapentin. A lot of people visit this thread but youre a regular so i wanna know as much as i can about you. Dixis story shatters my heart. How she continues to functin is not only amazing but inspirational. Ill look at some older posts and message you in a bit. I hope youre having a good day wherever youre at. Take care

 

[Runtoparadise]

Thx Closeau, I've PMd u back. Hope u have more of an understanding now,- I was a bit rushed, thankfully I have a few amazing friends that actually get me the hell outta my lovely home & out & about!!?

Talk soon ok,

Rtp

 

[Runtoparadise]

Hey pain ppl, bcos of an extremely painful personal breakup here, I'd rather PM from here on.

Note to all, don't get too close to any BLter.

You can think your own thoughts, but they can be snatched away in a second.

 

[SKR]

My sincere apologies.

 

[Runtoparadise]

^why would u even raise that point? Was I going to talk behind your back? No.
Was I going to mention ur name? No. I have more integrity than that!
It was more that I didn't particularly want just one person to read what I post in regard to my pain in a place where I feel safe to say exactly what I'm feeling without judgement or sharing with others outside this board.

I actually just now came online to apologise to others here. This is a public forum & should remain as such. As Closeau pointed out above, I am a regular & intend to stay that way.

Thanks for the PMs all, I've not had time to read any yet, but the number I see highlighted in yellow on my phone warms my heart!

I think enough has been said here, & I apologise for behaving childishly. It was a very emotional & late night.

Rtp

 

[DixiChik]

Thought I'd lighten the mood here by sharing my experience on Saturday. My humor is tasteless, so forgive me. If I didn't laugh at myself, I'd have been fitted for a straight jacket years ago.

It went something like this: We slept in because it was unseasonably cool outside, and snuggling while watching TV in bed felt good. Neither of us felt "good", hubby with cold/sinus issues and me with my usual. Anyhoo, we finally got out of bed after 1 p.m. Knowing that we needed to get out into the sunshine, we got ready and hit the road. I wore a hat because I didn't feel like styling my wet hair. (remember this)

We had lunch @ Applebees, then proceeded to Wal Mart. We needed to return Redbox and hubby needed to load some bags of soil for me. He let me out at the garden entrance and proceeded to park. I didn't want him to know I felt sick(er) after eating, so I hit the fruit tree section and hurled onto the pavement (without him knowing). We went into the store, which was pure chaos and insanity on a Saturday AND the 1st of the month. My guts continued to churn. Hubby had just asked me if I needed to replenish yogurt, when I turned on a dime and bolted for the restrooms.

I made it through the door to the back stall, but that's all, folks! I projectile vomited onto the wall and the toilet and the floor. It was so painful and violent that I thought perhaps I'd thrown up my boots. But, hey, guess what? I kept my hat on!?! Now that's talent, considering it's a brimmed hat...

God, I felt for the lady who came in to clean the stall. I was so embarrassed to confess, but I did. I returned to find my poor hubby standing in the yogurt section. We headed home...no soil, no yogurt, both wishing we had just stayed in bed.

YES my PEEPS...My life literally BLOWS! I can no longer fake it til I make it. Surgery is not an option. I need access to at least try CBD:THC oil/tinctures.

Well, that pretty much sums up my weekend...My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades! (not) %) "Whiter Shade of Pale", perhaps.

Okay it's Monday....Let's have wellness checks and updates, boys and girls!

 

[Cheezy]

thought i'd lighten the mood here by sharing my experience on saturday. My humor is tasteless, so forgive me. If i didn't laugh at myself, i'd have been fitted for a straight jacket years ago.

It went something like this: We slept in because it was unseasonably cool outside, and snuggling while watching tv in bed felt good. Neither of us felt "good", hubby with cold/sinus issues and me with my usual. Anyhoo, we finally got out of bed after 1 p.m. Knowing that we needed to get out into the sunshine, we got ready and hit the road. I wore a hat because i didn't feel like styling my wet hair. (remember this)

we had lunch @ applebees, then proceeded to wal mart. We needed to return redbox and hubby needed to load some bags of soil for me. He let me out at the garden entrance and proceeded to park. I didn't want him to know i felt sick(er) after eating, so i hit the fruit tree section and hurled onto the pavement (without him knowing). We went into the store, which was pure chaos and insanity on a saturday and the 1st of the month. My guts continued to churn. Hubby had just asked me if i needed to replenish yogurt, when i turned on a dime and bolted for the restrooms.

I made it through the door to the back stall, but that's all, folks! I projectile vomited onto the wall and the toilet and the floor. It was so painful and violent that i thought perhaps i'd thrown up my boots. But, hey, guess what? I kept my hat on!?! Now that's talent, considering it's a brimmed hat...

God, i felt for the lady who came in to clean the stall. I was so embarrassed to confess, but i did. I returned to find my poor hubby standing in the yogurt section. We headed home...no soil, no yogurt, both wishing we had just stayed in bed.

yes my peeps...my life literally blows! I can no longer fake it til i make it. Surgery is not an option. I need access to at least try cbd:thc oil/tinctures.

well, that pretty much sums up my weekend...my future's so bright, i gotta wear shades! (not) %) "whiter shade of pale", perhaps.

Okay it's monday....let's have wellness checks and updates, boys and girls!

cool story bro#

 

[kattmomma13]

Hi dixichik. It's still Monday lol.I just read it post about the Saturday "sleep in" day...I know the feeling...I'm checking in to let y'all know about the referral to the pain management DR...it finally got done Thursday the nurse called to tell me that it was done..I didn't call the clinic to see if they had any idea when might could get in ...I do know that they don't give meds on first visit but they don't make u wait a whole month for follow-up..it is in two weeks...I do know that I won't be getting the oxycodone 30mgs (4 a day) because they dont give those but anything is better than nothing...so maybe by the middle if may I may be back on some meds ...then I will be better than now...the MRI I just had shows some pretty bad stuff (myelomalacia-) which I had to look up and it is the term for spinal bleeding...small area but it is there...the rods n screws..I can tell u more but I'm sure u get the idea...I don't have the report in front of me or I could tell more..but anyway I will probably call them tomoro to see about the referral and see if they have got set up to where they can take Medicaid...that will be so great if they are..coz then I could get in there this month n maybe have meds by the end of the month...well that's about all the news on my end..stay painless buddies here....

 

[Runtoparadise]

Nicely done Dixi,

Love that u always have a funny/awful story to tell. You had excellent timing there.

I feel for you, projectile vomiting anywhere is obv not pleasant, but in a public space & having to confess,- how awful for you & hubby.

Kattmomma, good for you getting into PM. Hope you receive the help you need.

So, I abruptly found out my physio was going on paternal leave for a mth two days before my last booked appt with him.

He didn't even hand me over to another, I was just offered the next available appt with another physio. Which I actually cancelled on the day as I wasn't feeling well.

Today I attended, it was a young girl who'd graduated three yrs ago. She had a quick read of some notes & we talked while she began manual work.

I definitely let out a few yelps while she rubbed my neck,- she certainly dug around at the cervical levels which caused pain in areas of my arm & neck.

When she'd ask if I'm ok, she'd also throw in the "we've gotta try everything we can to avoid neck surgery", lol, her & me both.

I tried to nap when I arrived home & had a spare hour, but, as most of you'd know, sleeping with pain is impossible.

I'm questioning atm if she did the right thing by me. My neck & lower skull are hurting badly, as in, more than ever.

Perhaps something will feel better in the morn, she was attempting to loosen muscles to allow trapped nerves move more freely.

Imagine if I woke & my hand was no longer numb & I had no pain. A dream is just a dream...

Rtp

 

[kattmomma13]

Rtp. Thank u yea i'm hoping that they get me in pretty quick but now at least I'm closer than I was..sorry to hear that the physio made u hurt worse than u was already..maybe she will helping on the long run...
Well ppl..I have to make some calls so I'm gonna have to get off here for a while..

 

[closeau]

Sorry about your day Dixi. Soldier on. Rtp, sorry youre in more pain. I dont understand why if someone is in intense pain and numb you would work that area like a massage. Dam sure didnt feel like one im betting. I wish you and Dixi could get some relief. Im hoping for it!!! Katmomma, i hope you get your meds soon. Your condition sounds serious. Best to you. As for me, im in a situation. I feel bad telling this cause yall are really bad off and this is minor compared. I went to a guitar clinic Sunday about an hr away. I had my backpack, as always and brought it in with me cause i had some cables and my usual stuff....including some meds i take with me everywhere due to my living situation. Well, great clinic and learned a lot and halfway back i realized i didnt have my backpack. I freaked and turned around. By the time i got there it was too late. It was gone. Luckily i had my wallet which i usually keep in there but my meds were gone. 3 medications, all controlled substances. So yesterday i set out to replace them. 2 were from my shrink and she was cool and said its never happened and replaced them. My pain dr wasnt so nice. My dilaudid was in there and she said she cant replace lost meds. She was a little snippy about it too. Ive been seeing her for 2 yrs and we have a great relationship. This has never happened either. She was cool though and gave me some Clonidine for withdrawl. I do have my MS Contin cause i usually dont carry it cause the house theif is allergic to it. In my head its the worst. Def more pain. Dilaudid is what does the heavy lifting in my pain relief so im also used to having one every 4 hrs so its messing with my head. Sometime last year my pill bottle fell of counter and my dilaudds went everywhere. I retrieved 2/3 of them but was 3 days short and i remember feeling like shit. Not full withdrawl cause of the morphine but pretty dam shitty. Thats amazing how ir can cause so bad withdrawl. Anyway i got this patch on as so far i feel ok so i guess it works. Luckily my monthly appt is Friday and i can fill Sunday. Seems like forever. Im so dam mad at myself. Im attached to that backpack like a magnet. I guess i was caught up in the clinic and talked to a guy who was big in the 90's. So thats the story. Im very upset at my landlord today but i had to let go cause its out of my control and adding anxiety which was causing more pain. I dont know which is worse, the groin pain when i stand or the abdomen pain when i go to get out of the chair. Im so sick of pain and meds, all my meds. I just wanna be normal like i used to be. I was thinking before how i always kept myself up and got dates and had a life. Its so totally different now. With my mental and physical crap and this dam bag. How does one feel sexy with an ostomy bag? Idk. Ill never live that life again i guess. Im not giving up just being realistic. It saddens me so im gonna get involved in the Wounded Warrior program. My buddys all into military stuff and he can get me in. I need to see people who really dont have shit left like limbs and their mind. I think that will ease the self pity i feel. Good idea? Anyway, i got a lot of nothing to do, lol. Bless you pain peeps.

 

[Runtoparadise]

Closeau, clonidine was the best thing that ever happened to me! I hope it helps you in a great way too,-though losing your dilaudid sucks!

I too take all my meds with me, I'm glad at least u have your MS Contin.

Rtp xx

 

[closeau]

Thanks Rtp. The real test will come next couple days but so far it works pretty good. She gave me lowest mg there is. Im having some side effects like tiredness, lack of energy and nausea but better than withdrawl. Im still in it slightly. Tremors and restlesness but its managable. Yes, good thing i have my ms contin. I recently went thru full withdrawl and it was wicked!!!! Its a good thing to carry your important meds. Shit, i would prob leave them at home if i lived alone but i dont and theres too many theives and addicts that come in and out of this house. I dont know how i sleep so good. The front door is taped shut and back door locks but no glass so you can reach your hand in and unlock. All due to temper tantrum by 18 yr old here. She blows all her money so nothing gets fixed, like the doors and water. Pipe is busted so water stays off untill it needs to be used briefly. No flushing or washing hands or showers. Since i take quick showers i do but its ridiculous. Theres a guy across the street who has been caught stealing here and is an addict and hes not supposed to be here but anybody can come in whenever they want, lol. Thats why i carry my controlled meds. If they wanna steal my lithium or something whatever. She has no knowelege im back on pain meds. I told her and a pain in the ass woman who was living here that they wouldnt give them to me. I dont need them nagging me. The owner gets oxycontin and percocet for her back and sells every one. Then shes in pain so she buys off street. Pretty stupid, hey? Thats why im mad at myself. Im so used to being locked on my pack. Now im in pain. Sorry i had to vent there. Not really the forum for that. I am suffering from chronic pain so i qualify.?

 

[Runtoparadise]

Closeau I'm so sorry to hear you have to live that way right now. Wow, anyone could get in, u seem to handle it well. Well-, definitely better than I could.

At least it's a roof over your head for the time being :/

Must be a bastard of a pain doc to give you clonidine for wds that they know you'll go through rather than write a wk or two script!

Pls don't get down on urself re: feeling sexy, it's bloody hard to do even w/out an ostomy! Pain can change ppl in many ways, sometimes I think I'll always be single.

But I guess I differ in that atm I don't want a partner. I feel I'd find them more bother than company. I hear ya tho, when we're getting older & are single,- not like we'll look better in ten yrs!!

Getting involved in a group like that sounds like a great idea! It's always good to be reminded there's others worse off.

Rtp

 

[AnnaBanana333]

Hey, this IS your place to vent; for all of us. Oh dear; we make such a pretty picture.

Dixie; how mortifying! I'm so glad you have the coolness to laugh about it all. We kind of have to, right? I mean, projectile vomiting in public bathroom, 'massage' of deeply pained area, and living in basically a public space...is this all a dream, or what?

Like you said, Closeau, I come here and realize that I don't have it as bad as many others, but it's still all of our place to vent, because of our crazy situations, we understand and can laugh. Honestly, I can't imagine living with an ostomy bag. That must suck. Can you draw something funny and tape it around it? Like a cape? Make it a superhero? Captain Shitstorm!

They finally turned on my stimulator; here's hoping to less pain! Really, really hoping, as I used up all of my ER oxymorphone 3 days early because the surgery pain was so bad. I still have the small doses of breakthrough meds they gave me, so I won't go into withdrawal, but man, this better work! I finally got to shower, after 11 days! 11 days! It's a miracle I didn't smell.

Well, happy hump day, my pain family. I'm here for you. As Dixie always says, let's pull up a chair around the campfire and share our shit stories with a drink. (I miss drinking...makes me too weird with my meds. I'm weird enough!)

Hugs and drugs...(wish I could transport you guys what you needed).
AnnaB

 

[closeau]

Thank you Rtp and banana for the kind words. That Captain Shitstorm is the funniest thing ive ever heard. Im amazed one of my friends here havent come up with that. Thanks for the belly laugh. I needed it. I feel like crap!!! Clonidine must be too weak. Im getting side effects from that shit and wd at same time. Yeah, their too dam strict there at pain clinic. If this always happened i could see but ive been a model patient. Asses!! I know MS Contin sucks. Shit isnt helping my pain or wd at all. I gotta go to the foodstore and id rather stick a knife in me. I cant even take a hot shower cause of our water problem. I took some epherdrine so i dont have to pee every 5 min. Head throbs and that hotrible testless jump out of your skin feeling. I just went thru this last month and i swore never again. A medicine that makes you feel like this is bad. But my pain is too much. Anyway, gonna pop some Tylenol and go get this over with. Thanks again to both of you. Shitstorm out!

 

[closeau]

Wheres my pain peeps. Ok i hope. Been a long time since post so ill post again. Wd is kicking mu ass. This Clonidine is crap or i need a higher dose. She gave me the lowest possible dose. Im so restless and naucous. Im going in there tomorrow ready to play ball. She cant give me 5 days of dilaudid but gives me this shit? I would go out or something but my vision is crossed and dont wanna drive. Plus walking up my stairs is sheer agony. Im gonna let her know how ive been feeling dammit!! But do it in Burt Renoylds style. You know, slam her but do it nice. If my pills were always missing i could see but this is first time for me. Man, all these drs are so scared of dea. I understand if dea came in and saw she gave me dilaudid cause i lost it she would be fired. The prescription drug fad. Everyone is so focused on pain pills harming people and abuse meanwhile tons of people od on heroin and coke and alcohol and its propensity to kill people. Go find the suppliers and leave us people in pain alone. My pain clinic is so strict. Everymonth i sit in there and answer the same 25 questions after 5 pages of paperwork then pee test and that shit better be perfect. I took a Tramadol at my Aunts one day cause i was really hurting. and she brought it up. I was like dam. Im good and technically i dont get my dilaudid till Sunday ima see if sheyll give it to me tomorrow. I doubt it but im gonna try. Anyway, my dam fault i guess. MS Contin sucks. Its not helpinh my pain at all but im stuck with it. So, enough rant about poor me. I hope yall are well!! Shitstorm out!!

 

[AnnaBanana333]

Man, that SUCKS! I feel for you. It's hard to describe withdrawal to someone who has never been there. It messes with my head, too. How are you doing emotionally? I'm starting to get depressed after too much pain from stimulator plus less meds this week. I know it's from the meds and procedure, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to crawl into a hole. Ugh...

I am also really irritated that the pain clinics are so strict. Mine is pretty good, but I'm a middle aged Asian woman; they would never suspect me of anything, ever. I'm so sorry you have to go through this because someone decided to be incredibly selfish. A pox on them!

 

[closeau]

Thanks banana!!! Whats a pox? Yeah mine is connected to the hospital here, one of the best in the usa. Im really hoping she gives them up tomorrow. If she does ill have to go to another pharmacy. My chain wont fill it cause its less than 30 days. Ill find it, lol. I really dont think she will though. Im miserable. Pain is bad and wd is what it is. Sitting there was driving me crazy. Emotional wreck. Crying every 10 min. Miss my mom and my daughter. You already know about the water here but the water heater must be broke cause water wouldnt heat up. It wasnt ice cold but it was cold so i got in anyway and that made me feel worse. I thought i was gonna throw a fit so i left and ran some errands. Got home and sat down and song came on and crying again. So i said screw the pain and cleaned the room and bathroom which was a job. I feel better its done but ultimatly it didnt help. You cannot escape withdrawl!! Anyway, its only a day or two left.

So youre stimulator is causing pain? Why less meds? I feel for ya. Yeah, im middle aged too but look young and wear hats and look like someone who would abuse. I hope one day soon we all feel better. We have to. This cant be it. Well i think i feel a vomit coming so i must go. Hope you feel better?

 

[closeau]

Just an update. My appt went super. She gave me my dilaudid thank God. She was very compassionate and super cool. We talked about everything. She really wants me to move but wtf can i do? I think she pitys me. I pity myself, lol. Then i had to fing a pharmacy cause my usual one wouldnt fill cause its less than 30 days. I didnt figure the chain across thr street would fill it but they did. 3$ more bucks but thats ok. No looking for it in stock or anything. She took my info and 10 min later i had it. I took one in the car and hr later i felt so much better. Decreased pain and withdrawl gone. Im so relieved. Now im ready to duck cause good shit happened which means something bad is coming. Might sound ridicoulous. Also my weight goal has been met finally. A year ago i was 300lbs and my hemotologist said get down to 200. I thought it wasnt possible but taking out my colon and my meek diet have worked. I was 198. I was happy. My blood pressure was jacked due to withdrawl. I told them about falling yesterday. I dont think i told yall. I was on to step with bag of trask and twisted to grab bannister and a sharp pain shot up my leg into groin and i lost balance and fell down 8 steps to tha landing area. My abdomen took the brunt so i was hurting bad last night. I slept like an hr. I was so scared i was gonna fall asleep and miss my appt. i cant believe that one 8mg dilaudid can make. Watching Price is Right. I got a call back from guitar center about job. I go in for interview tomorrow. Got my fingers crossed. I severly need it and to work with guitars all day would be awesome. Im really scared about my funds. Had to overdraft today and its only the 8th. Had to kiss Sprints ass so they dont cut my phone. Bought myself a couple of weeks at least. Im gonna practice guitar which i havent since the clinic. I told Chris, the guy running it i would practice 2 hrs everyday. I really need to do it and gonna write a song today about pain both mental and physical. Gonna be called Prime Suffering. Maybe if i get a record out one day yall will hear it. I get excited cause i have so many songs that im sure if i could record some i would be big. I do it for love of music and i dont really want fame but ill take the money would be nice, lol. Gotta be careful with big record companies. Their theives and liars. Macklemore, the rapper did it right and did it himself. Now he doesnyt have to let other people tell him what to record. That new song White Privelage is awesome. I have 5-6 songs that are raps. I want a rap song then a ballad then a rock song then a metal song and end with a guitar ballad. I dont want a band but im gonna need some payers to. Drums bass and keyboard. I want a female on keys and bass and dude drummer. Anyway, i apologize for running my mouth, or typing finger. Im just really relaxed and relieved. Sorry no paragraphs. I know this is diffucult to read. Ill work on it. I sincearly hope my pain peeps are doing ok today. If anyone needs to talk just message me. As Rtp says, drugs and hugs. Captain Shitstorm out??