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Septsober - The September gettn and stayn sober thread 2014

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neversickanymore

neversickanymore

Moderator: DS
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This thread is for anyone who is trying to get sober for the first time, or has been sober for as much time as 1 day to 30 years. Everyone is welcome to post in this thread. Please adhere to the Bluelight User Agreement and Sober Living Forum Guidelines.

The Aug thread can be found by clicking >Here< ​
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Papaverium said:
40 Days today w00t!

Two thirds of the way to my two months.
Hope everyone is doing well today and if you aren't just remember it'll get better :) .....slowly lol
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Last post from AUG =D
 
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Pretty big day for me.. today marks two years free of active addiction... Two years ago today I began kicking methadone, oxy, and benzos and haven't had any since. It really has been quite the journey and exploration. =D<3

this calls for a scarlet fire i think
NSFW:
 
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Congrats nsa! Two years is awesome :)

Me, i got 3 hrs of sleep again and woke up really sick (how can i be this sick off such a low dose? Its crazy to me), went to the clinic and got my four whole mg, and i feel a little better.

Not caving. I didnt go through three months of hell just to fuck it all up again. I'm going to finally come out the other side this time.
 
Nicely done NSA. Since I've got a little more sober time than you I think that I can safely say the second year is a bitch and you'd better buckle down and stick with your program.
 
Hey everyone!

I am currently doing an opiate taper. What is this thread all about? What do we do/say/discuss here?
 
Just say how we're doing, support eachother, celebrate milestones ect :) its basically a social thread with a focus on helping eachother recover.
 
It's already September and I'm planning my return to planet Earth. All August I had my head in the clouds and took some steps backwards in areas of my life I had been working on. This addiction self-sabotages my goals and I hope to God I can make it to the other side because sobriety is my only chance at a normal happy life. Drugs are pleasureable but reality is always waiting for me the next morning.

I return to work tommorow, and I am going to have to just man the heck up and fight to not loose anymore things I love all because of a bad decision I made 4 weeks ago on a friday. I know for me to isolate and stay stagnant is to relapse and to die. I have got to constantly be achieving goals and working because otherwise I always end up with a beer in my hand.
 
xburtonchic said:
hell yea NSA... congrats on two years!! <3
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BlueSaffron said:
Congrats nsa! Two years is awesome :)
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euphoricnod said:
Nicely done NSA.
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Papaverium said:
Congratulations on your 2 years NSA!! <3
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Thanks everyone<3. I was just on a little road trip and it came to me I'm a month late I think.. so I guess im at 25 months. I do not emphasize time passed to much in the approach I take, but I still do like thinking about it once and awhile as it gives me a positive feeling of accomplishment and gives me another chance to give myself the positive credit I deserve and the dopamine and neurochemical changes that result.

euphoricnod said:
Since I've got a little more sober time than you I think that I can safely say the second year is a bitch and you'd better buckle down and stick with your program.
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Congratulations on all the sober time euphoric thats the shit=D!!
After decades of abuse and addiction, and actively battling and losing for over a decade, I took a very different approach. The results of this have been profound. The last year and a half have been the most peaceful time I have ever had in my life. I cut the fucking puppet strings and used them to string up the puppeteer instead.
 
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I got sober in 2009. Before that, I had gotten so bad that I was in and out of jails and living on the streets. When I got sober it was as if a miracle was overtaking my life. I began to walk again. I became functional, likable, capable! Most of the time, I was so happy! Eventually, I came back to college, have had a perfect GPA since starting and am even considering getting my doctorate.

Almost five years of sobriety went by, and then I hurt my back. Now, to make a long story short, I've been using heroin everyday for two months. I'm putting everything at risk: a good job, a wonderful relationship, college, my pets, my relationships with my family and friends, material shit. Most frightening is that I feel cut off from God. I used to have such a strong feeling that God has a plan for me: now I'm not so sure. I used to feel my relationship with God through other people. I'm hoping God will speak to me through a few of you folks.

I'm working on a heroin taper, and I gotta be honest: it's hard. Today is the closest I've gotten to my daily goal and I still chipped off a little extra.

I gotta live this taper, this attempt to be sober, one day at a time. There is no other way that I know.



Tomorrow's dose schedule:

Breakfast: .15of a gram
(.05 if needed)
Dinner: .15 of a gram

Other things I'm doing:

-In the process of talking with an old AA buddy so that I can get honest
-Journaling to God at night
-touching base with you folks
-*new* saying a prayer:
"Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

I understand that a lot of people aren't into religion, and believe me--I've so far from Catholic. I just like this prayer because it's familiar and comforting.


Currently, I am drifting between the space of wanting and being willing to do what it takes. One day at a time, I pray I make it there.
 
neversickanymore said:
Pretty big day for me.. today marks two years free of active addiction... Two years ago today I began kicking methadone, oxy, and benzos and haven't had any since. It really has been quite the journey and exploration. =D<3

this calls for a scarlet fire i think
NSFW:
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Congrats!!, also that was a good Scarlet>Fire, not sure if I have listened to that show before.

Anyways, I am sick as hell with an ear infection (can hardly hear out of it) as well as some sinus stuff. Had to take some Mucinex which contains DXM yesterday. I feel like I am really sensitive to the stuff because 40 milligrams had me feeling really weird and I couldn't sleep. Oh well. I have a doctors appointment tommorrow. I have Obamacare/Medicaid so I can only have on doctor and cannot just go into a Walk In Clinic. At least I have coverage though.

Also, I have 117 days today! Things are going great for me overall.

Keep it up everyone! Remember, any positive change is a good thing! Even having one less beer, one less line, one less shot today.

Finally, I am a big news watcher and am into foreign policy. The world is completely nuts right now. RIP Steven Sotloff and all victims in the Ukraine, Syria, Iraq and all other conflict zones.
 
BlueSaffron said:
Not caving. I didnt go through three months of hell just to fuck it all up again. I'm going to finally come out the other side this time.
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Hell yeah! Keep going!

phactor said:
I have 117 days today! Things are going great for me overall.

Keep it up everyone! Remember, any positive change is a good thing! Even having one less beer, one less line, one less shot today.

Finally, I am a big news watcher and am into foreign policy. The world is completely nuts right now. RIP Steven Sotloff and all victims in the Ukraine, Syria, Iraq and all other conflict zones.
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Congrats on 117 days! That's a long time.

Also, I second "any positive change is a good thing!" progress, not perfection!

Lastly, I second the RIP. There is a lot conflict happening right now. I'm grateful I have somewhere relatively safe to lay my head.
 
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I think today might be my last day on methadone. 2mg at 9 am and it's almost noon and I already feel sick, lol. Not sure there's a point of going in tomorrow for 1mg.

I'm planning to keep busy and take an Ativan only at night to sleep. To anyone who knows about benzos: I only have 5 Ativan left (wanted it that way, only asked for a little from my Dr). I took one day before yesterday, skipped yesterday, going to take one tonight. Would it be ok if I took one every night for the next five days, so weds thurs fri sat sun? Or is that enough in a row to make me feel crappy monday night when I don't take it? I was thinking of taking it every OTHER night to prevent that from happening - the last thing I need is slight benzo withdrawal over lingering methadone withdrawal. Is five nights in a row enough to give me some tolerance?
 
^^^

Doubtful beyond maybe some rebound anxiety, just remember that benzos and alcohol have some cross toleranc so that could come into play.
 
NSA I'm glad to hear that you've found something that works for you. Figuring out how to stay sober is SO much of the battle that we face as addicts.
 
phactor - grr, that's no good. I don't want to deal with ANY extra anxiety right now. I guess I'll space out my doses a bit.

I just got a call that I passed my drug & background check & I start monday :) This is going to be interesting - I"m sick as fuck right now. Hopefully in six days I'll feel better, if I still feel awful I guess I'll have to start my gabapentin and just take it for a few weeks or something.

Eta: just took an ativan-was going to wait til 9 but, uh, no. How am i THIS sick? Oh yeah, cos i went from a gram and a half of good dope a day for 7 months to 30 mgs of methadone for 3 mos and then dropped the last 10 mgs in 10 days. That might have something to do with it.
 
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Honestly, with 5 days straight I wouldn't expect even a slight amount of rebound anxiety. If you were taking a large dose for five days in a row, maybe... However, because you're using it for sleep and to alleviate discomfort as prescribed I think that you'd be all right. I think that you should take it as needed to relieve discomfort, but not to get a buzz. If you keep the dose low enough you won't experience anything negative on the other side.

If you're really worried about it split your dose the last two nights into halves.
 
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