Who knows, i could be YOUR girlfriend writing this -
Dear "significant other",
I can't seem to fall asleep tonight because theres alot on my mind.
Mainly things about us.
And it's gotten to that point where it's all i seem to think about these days
I can't find the courage to say this to your face, it feels like i'm asking for too much, so i'll just use this alias.
We've been together for a while now and instead of things going forward, they seem to be going back, well for me atleast. I can't give you my heart because i can't reach beyond my desires and needs that i long from you first. Am i being selfish?
I'm getting sick of being the giver, saying 'yes' all the time, sacrificing my time and energy (not to mention money) because deep down inside i care about the ones i love, and finding it very hard to say 'no'. I feel like i'm being taken advantage of, even from you.
I miss how you used to take my hand and hold it as we strolled down the street, now i'm the one waiting for that to happen, then reaching for your hand when it doesn't come.
The messages you would send to my phone. They were short, beautiful and filled with meaning and desire. I still keep them after months because i know i won't get any more like it anytime soon.
How is it that you can trek off to different parts of the city and not mind if you get lost, but you won't even attempt to come over to my house of your own free will, just to see me or surprise me, you know it would mean alot to me. Would you even know how to get here if i wasn't with you???
You take photos, images, moments in time, yet have you ever taken a photograph of me? Just me. Aren't i worth one shot?
I've never received a flower from you, not even a single petal. You're not the type to go and pick some flowers from someones garden and give them to me, just because you were thinking of me as you were walking down the street, are you?
So why am i still with you?
I need your attention.
I want some romance into this relationship.
I wish you would do those little special things that couples do for each other. The things that say "You're in my thoughts, and i want you to know i'm thinking of you".
Because i'm still hoping either i can leave behind my desires and needs and be happy with you, or maybe one day you can look deep into my sad eyes and realise theres something missing.
For all bluelighters out there who read this post: Tell you're S/O how much you like them/love them and WHY you do. Do something spontaneous for them, something they were never expecting and just watch they're beautiful face light up before you.