YOU KNOW YOU'RE AT A BAD RAVE WHEN...

When the dealers try to sell you steroids instead of bikkies.
When instead of lasers they have a hobo in the rafters with a dolpin torch covered with celophane.
When you see the Venga Boys setting up their equipment.
When the DJ walks on stage to start his set with one record in his hand.
When that one record is "100% Hits Volume 3"
When the ravers wear black Metallica t-shirts and tight back jeans.
When you see the St Johns Ambulance man in the corner dead after overdosing.
When the sound system consists of a rusted Valiant parked up the front of the venue with the radio turned up loud and distorted.
When the DJ is the dumb blonde DJ chick off the Russell Gilbert Show.
Anyone got anymore?
[This message has been edited by plastikman (edited 15 June 2000).]

when they give midro a microphone
when they let a munkE through the door
when it's advertised in TV Hits and Girlfriend
when kappa and adidas are more prevalent than shirts(double whammy)
when plastikman runs out of bulbs hehe

the door check involves a cavity search
when you can find your id, the bouncer headbutts you
your parents wave to you from the bar
your the only guy wearing a shirt, the rest are wearing tank tops covering their beer guts
your 12 year old cousin won't sell you his ADD pills cause he can get a better price inside
the mouthwash you used before you left registers on the drive in an RBT and the policeman thinks your complaining would cease with an application of the cuffs and a boot to the head
there's a bigger line up at 7-11 than out the front
everyone in line is talking about that new "the launch song"
you get rejected entry for no collar or leather shoes
you instantly gain noteriety amongst the crowd as the "no mullet fag"
your request for water at the bar is met with "no beer or bourbon? what are you, some kind of poofta?"
you bought soda bulbs
the chill-out room is called the pantera mosh-pit zone
the dj takes requests
on a sheet
the requests are "BriTnEy RULEZZ!!", "BSB kick n'stink's ass!!" "BlInK 182 - im punk"
people are leaving to go to the school dance down the road
the glowsticks are pieces of conduit with reflective tape on them
the dj continually reminds the crowd that cordial and cake are available for fifty cents before playing the next song
you get picked in a fight, and lose horribly to a fourteen year old wearing a living end shirt
he then steals your shoes and wallet
and then his friends piss on you
while at the stalls, you blatantly catch several people checking your equipment
the bag check is the back of a hatchback in the car park
you get felt up
by an old trucker man
its someone you know
actually, its your uncle peter
he knew it was you
hehe
later

supaSpeed you're a freak!

HAHAHAHAHAHHA LOFL (*cough* laughing so hard i can't even hit the right key!) ROFL
Nice one Supaspeed, I'm laughing too hard to be able to think of anymore to add!
HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHA puff puff puff wheeze.. heheeheh... giggle... sigh
[This message has been edited by Tarsarlan (edited 15 June 2000).]

HAHAHAHAHA!!! LMFAO!!
that blonde DJ chick plays at the Q-bar what a mad sickass joint! NOT!
"your 12 year old cousin won't sell you his ADD pills cause he can get a better price inside" Funniest one!
"there's a bigger line up at 7-11 than out the front" so funny cause its true...

...when you've sorted someone out earlier in the night (before the Rave) and they offer you a pipe as a sign of their appreciation telling you that its not thumb packed where really, its a triple thumb packed huge fucker, you struggle to pull it but eventually do and it knocks you off your fucking sox!
...AND THEN, you hit the Rave ripped off your guts and dont feel like doing much

That thing about parents being at a rave.....
happened to my mate on the weekend
and his dad ended up giving him pills he hadn't used yet.....

When u ring the 0055 & u find out its at "The Blue Oyster Bar!"
Timbo
P.S. no offence to any gays :')

Next time that happens Klownzy, pass the pipe my way!
Timbo

when the pimply-faced blonde boy in the corner approaches you on the dance floor and says...
"would you like to dance???"
gotta hate that

when the guys are standing on the dance floor hands by sides, with their thumbs sticking out with their nice salad bowl haircuts and coke bottle glasses.
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rollin' and strollin', its kinda like bowlin'. my head's kinda big and it feels kinda swollin'!!

Click to expand...

When they have a "Shafting Only" policy for pill consuption...and the bouncers check.
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Toeing the line vs. the "E-Conspiracy"

Hey, i have coke bottle glasses, and a shonky haircut, and i ask ladies to dance...hey!
Also when
You find out it wasnt ..RaGe! it was UnDeRaGe!
It closes at 8pm or whenever it gets dark
It has the word "rad" in its name
It has a "popstars" theme
The speed you bought was finely cut omo
They have a heap of biccies...chock chip, jam drops
That chick from E! is doing a story out the front
Everyone inside is chanting "Hanson! Hanson!"
When i'm the only one on the dancefloor
When you call your friends and they're all keen till they find out what it is..and then they make up lame excuses like "my pet rock died" or "i have to cut my toenails"
You get a complimentary sausage roll on entry
SupaspeeD looks like the hottest guy there...its a BAD rave
You've never seen so many fila jackets and adidas bum bags in your life
Your primary school teacher is dancing on a podium in fishnets and a mini
the dj's name is angry anderson
the promoters name is "skasey"
If you have a rsl lifetime membership you get 10% of entry price
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"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S. Thompson

Dammit supaspeed, where do you come up with these? It puts anything I could come up with to shame...
Nice occupation btw
Ok here goes nothing...
All they have at the bar is Lite Ice
The chill out room is full of people reading novels
...They're mills and boon novels
The DJ backannounces every track
...Every track has vocals
...Hanson vocals
The chill out room is the toilet
Your 85 year old grandpa is having more fun than you are
...because he stole your pill
You think to yourself "I'd rather be at church"
...You see your the priest right at the front of the dance floor
...he's the best dancer in the place
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Common Sense isn't all that common

When the chill room is an industrial freezer.
When the mirror balls are basketballs covered in tin foil.
When the crowd goes into a frenzy as Vanilla Ice drops "MMM Bop"
When you can walk across the dancefloor without getting within 30 feet of anyone.
When the crowd goes home at 10pm and you're the only one left in the warehouse by 10:30
When you get told that it's in a warehouse, but find that it's in a whorehouse.
When the whorehouse is called 'Anal Adventures'
When you see your father working a room in 'Anal Adventures'
When after every song the DJ stops the music and says the name of the track. Then he follows it up with "let's continue with the hits and memories"
When Jimmy Barnes walks up to the stage and grabs a microphone.
When the crowd goes into a frenzy when Jimmy Barnes walks up to the stage and grabs a microphone.
When the crowd wear cowboy hats and boots while they dance in a line.
...i'll be back with more tommorow...

When its sponsored by an am radio station
Rex hunt is burning up the dancefloor
The give away showbags to every tenth person through the door...
It's about to end and they haven't given away the first one yet
River phoenix offers you drugs
your grandfather out on the dancefloor ridicules your moves with rave lingo you don't understand "do liquid, not jungle!"
Jimmy barnes's kids are the "choir" for his mc set
when john laws presents "a bangin hard house set"
people have binkies
cause they're still being breastfed
the dancefloor is flattened cardboard boxes in the k-mart carpark
Everyone's talking about the time "Kenny G really ripped it up!"
"Cotton-eye joe" is played ad naseum
Everyone is asked to say "woop, woop on the four count"
It's kinda hard on cold chisel tracks
It's a "tran-sexuals only night"
you only found that out after you got there
because you kissed and fondled one
at your house
she/he brought some friends over
they tie you up
oh dear
hehe
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"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S. Thompson

WOW...i don't know where u guys find out about these 'raves' but remind me never to go party there.

When Sasha and Digweed are going to D.J.

When SupaspeeD has to *bump* this topic to the top.

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"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."
- Hunter S. Thompson