"I just don't get you at all"... Personality Clashes, how do you handle them?

"I just don't get you at all"... Personality Clashes, how do you handle them?

I've always thought I was a pretty easygoing person.

But lately I've realised that there's certain people I just DON'T get along with, and it's completely and utterly frustrating to me.

For me it's pedants. Who give a FUCK if the i's are not dotted and the t's not crossed, metaphorically. I work in a very free-flowing, haphazard way, and I piss off pedantic people as much as they piss me off. There is just no way for us to get along.

Being someone who desperately needs to be liked, it distresses me that I just can't reach some people, that they will never understand me.

Does anyone else relate? Who is your nemesis? What sort of person can't you stand and who can't stand you.... and do you have to deal with someone like this in your everyday life? If so, how do you handle it?

You don't dot your i's or cross your t's!!!

ARRGGHH!!!!!

You probably don't bundle all your notes the same way around either...

That's OK (walks off twitching)

But seriously lazy people shit me to tears especially when I have to pull their weight as well as my own.

People who totally live their jobs, with no other life. They just plain scare me.

Dumb people who think they are smart - and try to make everyone else feel like shit.

I try to avoid them and ignore them. I try to remind myself that I shouldn't argue with them because, after all, I'm smarter than they are and it would be like a six foot muscle man beating up a dwarf.

And I don't want to be a bully like them.

sigh.

^^^^^ TOTALLY agree! My old work place was HELL because of some old bitch who regretted wasting her life and thought she was smart/beautiful/always right and would take it out on me because i was (am) weak. She was just a horrible bitch who thought the only way to do things right was her way and would never listen to anyone else........
So I have learnt from that, always listen and dont get old regretting!

Anyway, people who dont think before they open their mouth and people who dont put themselves in other peoples shoes and just bitch without thinking about others feelings.

I have a very difficult time dealing with harsh peoples personalities and mostly i withdraw and dont say what i really should...... but as i get older i hope to change this....

MaDMAn_Project said:

You don't dot your i's or cross your t's!!!

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It's probably a really, really bad metaphor for this topic because grammar is the one thing I *am* pedantic about.

No, I'm talking for example about people who have to have a detailed plan, down to the last second of a project, polished enough that you could whip it out as a Powerpoint presentation if the opportunity arose - who don't trust you or have respect for you if you operate differently to them (ie. don't "plan" in the traditional way, keep it all in your head). I mean, if the outcome is the same (ie. you get the job done): who cares?

I also agree with the "people who live for work" thing. Jesus H. The particular person I refer to above *volunteers* to work on weekends for no money, gives talks to Rotary Clubs and country council meetings in her own time, and likes to take work home to do that's not only not urgent, but not even necesssary. In fact, she makes up "new" projects she (and everyone else) can do, for no particular reason except that she appears to be *always* thinking about work. It's impossible to believe... there's just no keeping up with someone like that, can you say inferiority complex? .

^^Slip an E into her morning coffee.

One of my best friends is quite like that. Tries to get his degree finished a year before he's supposed to, he's on the dean's list, works saturdays and sundays, pays rent etc etc. While his work ethic is admirable, I can't help but wonder if he's really happy doing all that. Apparently I convinced him to try ecstasy some time but I think his circumstances are such that it won't happen till hell freezes over.

slm i swear that girl used to work with me! she must have changed professions and moved interstate just to go give you the shits!

all the things you listed really got my goat, but the one thing that would make me fly off the wall was her 'reminders'. first up she'd tell you 'oh this needs to be done before you go home'. she'd also leave a note on our timesheets, in our daily work planner, and on whatever it was that needed doing. then she'd tell my second in charge it had to be done, as well as the manager, so that both of them could be sure to remind me to do the thing i would have remembered to do if she'd only told me once.

the other people i cant stand are liars. whether its a big fat 'so, my brother slept with prince harry last nite' type lie or the pathetic little 'yeah i go to that club all the time' when you know they dont lie, it really gets to me, and i'll do everything i can to prove that they're lying. sorry but is your personality really that boring that you have to make shit up to entertain me?

MaDMAn_Project said:

You probably don't bundle all your notes the same way around either...

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I'm so glad I'm not the only freak that does that! 8(

I'm pedantic and anal about a lot of things, but I generally don't inflict in on other people. It means that rather than having other people do things for me, I end up doing them myself, because I hate to have someone put in well-meaning effort, only to have it bug me cos it's not done *exactly* how I want it done.

What drives me nuts is people who don't try new things and/or think about investigate the best way to do things. People who have experienced something good, and settle on that thinking that it is the single best thing in the world, without trying to find something better.

Originally posted by Strawberry_lovemuffin
No, I'm talking for example about people who have to have a detailed plan, down to the last second of a project, polished enough that you could whip it out as a Powerpoint presentation if the opportunity arose - who don't trust you or have respect for you if you operate differently to them (ie. don't "plan" in the traditional way, keep it all in your head). I mean, if the outcome is the same (ie. you get the job done): who cares?

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Generally I have a fairly detailed attack plan before I start anything (in my head, it's never written down). But that doesn't mean for a second that I'm not open to changing it, if someone has a better idea, or even just a different but equally good one. As you said, if the outcome is the same, who cares?

LOUD people.






Although I can cut loose on occasion, and given the right environment or situation I can be the toast of the damn party, it is these 24/7 loud people that really shit me.

Always yelling and always demanding constant attention... I like a bit of silence and relaxing.. but LOUD people are always launching into a new shitty joke or interrupting a conversation or just being fucking annoying.

These people tend to have loads of energy as well in my experience.


In fact I have never known a loud person for long. If I meet one or one is around me for longer than one night then I tend to find ways of never associating with them again.

Haha, chill the fuck out people.

I don't know who is worse, the people who don't cross their T's/dot their I's or the people who bitch about them. You are all sounding a wee bit jaded to me.

*Cower's and prepares for the flames*

WEAK PEOPLE

People who always go with the crowd for the sake of 'fitting in'! There is nothing that annoys me more than someone who doesn't voice their own opinions - however different, because they're to weak to stand their ground. These are the type of people who will get involved in 'bitching' about someone (even if they're close friends) for the sake of being in the loop. If people are bitching about someone I like, I don't get involved, they're free to do so, I can't control them BUT I always make it aware "hey, I like that person".. hence, "I don't care what you all think - I've formed my OWN opinion".

These people don't really ever have anything intelligent to add to a conversation either! They're too afraid of disaproval or to busy repeating the story they heard last night, claiming it as "their own". It just seems they are completely incapable of being "themselves" and are instead a jumbled mess of multi personalities.

shorza said:

Haha, chill the fuck out people.

I don't know who is worse, the people who don't cross their T's/dot their I's or the people who bitch about them. You are all sounding a wee bit jaded to me.

*Cower's and prepares for the flames*

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Come on shorza, get your bitch on You know it's therapeutic sometimes. :D

Joannie.... YES! It must be the same person. She does that too.... not written reminder lists as such, but constant emails and poppping her head in my office door saying "How are you going with X,Y,Z? Can I help with anything? (ooh, so subtly insinuating I'm incompetent!) Just thought I'd remind you that we only have 10 days, 4hours and 96 seconds to complete it!" (okay so I exaggerate that last bit, but you get the gist)

I never have enough notes to make a bundle

People who take things for granted and take advantage are people I'll never get along with. For instance, my brother has a girlfriend that none of us really like much, and she has no problem coming and staying at my parents' house for 3 weeks at a time without asking anyone if it's okay. She invites her OWN friends over when my brother is at work. She uses all their hot water (according to my sister), eats all the food, etc. and doesn't reimburse anyone with anything.

I can't stand people like that. All she has to do is ask, ffs!

I cannot STAND the parents at my school who think you have to hold your child's hand at every single turn of the day, and who think you should have FUN going to morning teas, Friday NIGHT chess matches, chaufering your kids around to various events and generally give up your right to an existence. And if you DON'T do that? Well, you are just plain old a BAD MOTHER.

Now, I'm not saying don't be supportive of your children - by all means attend a sports match or two, love them to death and support them, but don't let them take over your life.

Just because I cheer when I find out that a Friday night cricket match is cancelled, doesn't make me a horrible mother

I cant seem to stand people who dont think for themselves. The ignorance that seeps out of those people is enought to make me explode. Whenever i meet these people i dream of changing them, but then i feel , nah fuck it.. let em learn the hard way.. and that my friends, is how change comes about always

I think you people have drifted off topic a wee bit - it's personality types you clash with, despite trying, not personalities you actively dislike

For some reason I have trouble with a certain type of girl. I've had this problem since high-school and I'm yet to figure out what it is. A certain type of girl that likes to dress up and wear make-up, is generally pretty controling and seems to like a frim pecking order.

None of these things really bother me, and I get along just fine with people with one or two of these traits, but there's a certain type with a combination of them that is just a lost cause. When I come across one I go out of my way to be friendly and open a nd try to get to know them because I know they're the type I've clashed with in the past, but it never seems to help. I get shut out, shut down and attacked and I don't understand why.

Most recent example was at a BBQ last weekend. It was in the park so most people were in jeans or shorts. I didn't know many people so I was making a big effort to get to know everyone and introduce myself. Said girl was wearing a stylish dress, high heels and makeup, looking very pretty. I went up to introduce myself and got a very perfunctory reply. I shrugged that off and got on with meeting people and having great fun! I was told to help myself to alcohol and make myself at home, so I did.

Cue a few hours later: said girl comes up to me and asks if I'm drinking vodka. I reply that I am. She asks where I got it from and I reply. She then proceeds to ballme out saying that it's home brew vodka and I shouldn't be drinking it. I tell her I was told to help myself and that I didn't realise that bottle was special and asked if she's like me to go buy a bottle (which I was perfectally willing to do). She replies no, 'cos it wouldn't be homebrew and now there was barely any left in the bottle. Never mind the fact that I'd had 3 shots of it and 5 other people had been drinking it also. I asked again if I could buy her a new bottle or do anything and again she declined. She then packed up her things and left the party.

I was left feeling perplexed and upset: I'd done something to make this girl hate me and leave a party her friends were at where I was the new-comer. I still don't understand what exactly I did, if anything, but I'm left wondering why it is that this sort of thing happens every time I come across a person like her and has since my school days. There's obviously a personailty crash, and no matter how hard I try it just doesn't work out.

I don't think vodka was the real issue there. It was the high heels nipping her feet and putting her into a bad mood. Then she saw you in your comfy shoes, having a good time, and flew into a jealous rage!!

Yes it's interesting to note, that these people who pique our insecurities are often struggling with their own insecuries *our* personality type arouses in them.

'Ignorant people" are no doubt left feeling stupid and socially unco-ordinated by your intelligence. Perfectionists, like my nemesis, probably occasionally envy the ability to see the big picture, and operate within freedom and creativity.

Which is why I can't stand bullies, I have an inner bully.

Well that and the fact that bullying is wrong, I just want to smash their faces!

you see.

joannie_mhm said:

the other people i cant stand are liars. whether its a big fat 'so, my brother slept with prince harry last nite' type lie or the pathetic little 'yeah i go to that club all the time' when you know they dont lie, it really gets to me, and i'll do everything i can to prove that they're lying. sorry but is your personality really that boring that you have to make shit up to entertain me?

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I know. liars of all sorts really irritate me....pathological or otherwise.

i used to date a pathological liar in highschool. we dated for about 6 months, during that time the porky highlights were....he had a desk owned by louis 15th, he had a collapsed lung from speed and his mum had cancer!

i've also heard through other people that he totally invented an older sister. when friends would come over and ask why there were no photos of her up or in albums he claimed she was never present for them [????????????????]

absolutely insane.


the people who normally dislike or become irritated by me are super-organised/perfectionist people. They don't understand that the organised chaos i live/work in really does produce results eventually....i just don't have everything planned out and tabulated already

passive agressive people really do my head in as well. People who put in insinuations and sniping remarks designed specifically to provoke you, and then when you finally snap and go mental at them, they act all innocent and hardly done by. "No need to get angry!" .... oh no not at all you conniving little fuckers....

ends up making you look like psycho bitch from planet zog, and they get off scot free!