Dropping Pills - Lost Identity

I havent dropped a pill for 5 weeks now. Before that it was about 2 months. To be honest, i dont really have any big plans or any huge expectations for a drug binge either on new years Eve, or Field Day that im going to. I am now moving more to the scene of settleing down with a nice bottle of wine over a nice dinner - at a cool funky club/bar/resturant.

The reason that im posting is because im getting frustrated. Lately I have standing in line or walking past people at pubs and here someone say:

" ....so how many are you taking, you pinging or what???"

its happening everywhere. every tom dick and harry is doing it, and im not sure why im so upset but i am. It used to be something that made me individualistic and something that made me feel different. The ironic thing is that i am almost at the conclusion that im not taking drugs anymore because i dont want to be put in the same category as the average sheep followingn 18 - 22 year old idiot on the streeet. People seem to be more open about it, and the acceptance in the teen to 20 year old bracket (which im in) seems to see it as standard almost.

I almost take pride in saying to someone whos peaking off their tree - ''no mate, i dont take pills."

I can remeber the days where you would struggle to find someone who knew someone who did it. Let alone trying to source them out. Now it seems that everyone you meet either does do pills, or has a friend that does. Whats caused the explosion in social acceptance here?. I do think that the commercial radio stations such as Nova and also 2dayFM, with their increase support of dance music has contributed to this.

Does anyone else feel the same about this. Have i lost the magic that the drug provides, or has the scene just changed? Or is this a natural progession of the scene, whatever that is..or is it that im getting old?

And heres a really difficult question - is there anything wrong with feeling the way i feel about this? I actually almost hate teen pill poppers. I look at them with disgust sometimes, they seem to have little clue about things.

You've changed as a person and you're moving on - nothing wrong with that at all - I wouldn't even break a sweat over it, rather be more excited with where your life is now taking you - so many unchatered waters!

Some people have a short relationship with drugs, some hang on for awhile and some never let go - its all to the individual and what makes you happy. I've been off drugs for two years now and I've never looked back - they were fun at the time and I had many special momments - but I lost my interest in them, and rather ponder what went wrong I just moved onto other things

I am now moving more to the scene of settleing down with a nice bottle of wine over a nice dinner - at a cool funky club/bar/resturant.

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Sounds perfect to me.....

I must also admit that my appreciation for electronica has increased tenfold over the past two years - never got the whole "it sounds so much better on pills" - I would have danced to two chipmunks farting back then

Great posts guys. Not wishing to increase pressure haste, but I'd sure like to see you over in ADD a bit more .

concise writers... I'm so envious of them

I always try and not come across as elitist in real life (the internet is another thing before any of you smartarses point that out ), but I do find it satisfying saying to some gurning retard who just crawled out from under a rock and discovered pills that I've "been there, done that".

I think your observation that "every tom dick and harry is doing it" is fairly accurate. It's also astounding how many of these tom dick and harry's don't have the first clue what they're doing. I've heard them talk about well known quality MDMA pills as being "too cokey and shit", and then they whipped out these ugly things that looked like they were made with a Fisher Price "my first pill making kit", that from all observations I made when they had them were definitely not MDMA (and probably not even active). And what's more scary is that this person I'm referring to was imparting his "knowledge" on people who knew even less.

I really dislike people who get into the music just because of the drug aspect or because some think its now 'cool'.

These people are against everything i stand for as they are not being themselfs.

Well i could go on forever but i have stoped myself as its prolly not the right thread..

But, all i have to say really is, if u just like to follow trends and think that now this music / scene is 'cool' to be apart of but after x months or years u will move onto something else cause now it is popular. U are not a 'real' person, f%#k what other people think and find something U like...

some awesome posts here, and the above is very true...i guess it's logical though, that with the increase in users (in a general, overall sense) will come an increase in the amount of people who don't know what they're doing. i would like to think that bluelight (along with hm groups like ravesafe and enlighten) are helping to educate the general public, but it's clear to me (in my experience) that there's still a long way to go - *sooo* many people still have no idea of the risks associated with their drug intake and the like.

however, i digress. i know exactly what you mean papermate. though i haven't been taking e for all that long a time, i would like to think that i'm *reasonably* mature about it, and know what i'm doing - the careless attitude that some people seem to have towards this (plus the fact that it seems to be *everywhere* atm - no longer just associated with the rave scene) is kind of weird, and i'm not sure if i like it or not.

i dislike the attitude that some people seem to hold towards it, but then again, i'd definitely prefer a room full of loved-up pill-takers when i go out compared to arrogant beer-drinkers. but then, maybe that's *too* much of a generalisation - i guess it (can) all come down to the individual...again, good posts guys

^^
i'm much the same.

ur just gettin a bit jaded there papermate :D but thats ok...i have to put up with Sllip :D

i still think i'm an individual, but not cos i take pills...they just help my individuality show itself, and i cant stand all those uneducated dickheads who still think its cool to brag "i ate 7 pills last night!!"

and on the off occasion, u go to an event like Carl Cox (yaaay!!) and it restores ur faith in the whole scene.
tho all those idiots out there will soon burn out, or maybe even learn something and change and if u can ignore them...then it'll turn out ok

now i'm rambling....meh, big weekend.

haste has moved on to an anime addiction. I've heard he double drops anime manga regularly....4 hours of jap action!!

I'm the first to admit that I'm a fucking elitist snob when it comes to pills...tell me your peaking and watch me roll my eyeballs so fast your head will spin (if it isn't already).

Pills are old and boring. Botox is where its at. Invite your surge ('plastic surgeon for those in the know) and some of your best friends around, open a bottle of bubbly or wine and watch your youth come flooding back...fkn rox.

do I see the green tinge of jade??

I think that you are a bit hipocritical after saying it's been a whole five weeks since your last drop to say,

I almost take pride in saying to someone whos peaking off their tree - ''no mate, i dont take pills."

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That's a bit of a blanket statement. It comes across in a moralistic tone as if you've never done pills and never will . Having someone respond to me in such a manner would seriously affect my peak. Rather inconsiderate don't you think? Pride doen't have much place in the scene.

(I'll expand on this later)

Cuddles

being jaded rocks!

'Pills are old and boring. Botox is where its at. Invite your surge ('plastic surgeon for those in the know) and some of your best friends around, open a bottle of bubbly or wine and watch your youth come flooding back...fkn rox.'

hahah, thats some funny shit :D

papermate said:

i am almost at the conclusion that im not taking drugs anymore because i dont want to be put in the same category as the average sheep followingn 18 - 22 year old idiot on the streeet.

And heres a really difficult question - is there anything wrong with feeling the way i feel about this? I actually almost hate teen pill poppers. I look at them with disgust sometimes, they seem to have little clue about things.

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mmmm i kind of disagree here...

sooo many different people take drugs, it's silly to start generalising like this. yes, there are lots of young ecstasy users out there who are clueless to what they are taking, but that's mostly a result of misinformation (which is why bluelight is such a great resource!!).

i think the point is, whether or not you do pills, you are who you are.. it's silly to choose not to do something simply because "you don't want to be seen/associated with the people who do that". i believe we should do what we want to do, do what we enjoy doing, and not make decisions on how other people identify us!

hope im making some sort of sense!

cheers,
jimbu

To play devils advocate for a minute, it's all well and good to say people should be individual and "do what they like", but what if they like fitting in? Some people put more emphasis on that than being an individual, and to be quite honest I think deep down most people like being accepted. Taking pills in order to fit in probably isn't a good idea, but I guess I can understand the mentality.

But as I said before, I just wish people would put more effort into finding out what these pills actually do before blindly gulping one down.

baileylsd said:

I really dislike people who get into the music just because of the drug aspect or because some think its now 'cool'.

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i think its so important to appreciate and love the music first... the music is what the whole "scene" is founded on, and i think anyone who is totally in love with the music and wants to marry it is in a different catergory of people in "the scene" to the people who gravitated towards it becasue of the drug influences which are obviously involved. Is it the music and the excitement of the music that is enticing so many more people to get out an about to the best goddamn night they can find? or are they looking for the biggest drug binge they can find? i think it could be the second option for many many people who get out to the clubs, and the doofs and the mass events every weekend and thats almost a bit sad...

as far as im concerned the music is the most important thing, and the people who go out every weekend JUST for a drug binge can go eat shit. Im only young but music, in particular dance music is such a huge part of the life i live and the life i love that when i see shit heads out off theyre guts just because drugs are the new black i just think theyre a tosser... If ur just in it for the drugs then get fucked... if u cant go out and have an equally great night in a club without drugs as what u would of had with drugs then i have nothing to say to you.

"The scene" was basically as far as im aware founded on the music...
...the drugs are just an added bonus...

some awesome posts here, and the above is very true...i guess it's logical though, that with the increase in users (in a general, overall sense) will come an increase in the amount of people who don't know what they're doing.

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yeah. i know people in the UK who have been doing it for years, and their basic understanding of some general safety and harm minisation practises are disgusting.

There is no doubt, i still prefer the pill popping crowd. I love nothing more that the ''Networking'' - the meeting of people, who are in relatively respectable jobs. I understand your generalisation onetwothreefour, and i agree with it to be honest.

Cuddlefish : - I understand you comment. If i was sitting down and peaking and there was a no good, jaded, pessimistic person sitting next to me who looked at me with disgust, - i would probably feel the same. But im not referring to everyone who says that to me. im referring to the younger people than me that take pills with the same sort of regard that perhaps most of those drunken teenagers at Schoolies week do. I think its a fact that there are more irresponsible drunks/pill poppers than there is responsible ones. I know thats a generalisation, and i know there are young and responsible people (matter of degree) - but i do think the majority of the new generation of pill poppers arent aware of the seriousness of what they are doing.

I know its sounds elitest - but i do take pride in the fact that i have some what educated myself (the little that i have) about what im doing. I think that this aspect of pride goes hand in hand with a characterisitc of being a mature, responsible person.


Pleonatsic..: - you are right. i dont think there is anything wrong about fitting in. and i dont think you comment about people wanting to fit in, and people enjoying being accepted could be a truer statement.

Blossum... shit. what the hell is the scene. im laughing about it....the scene - how do we define that. with the general level of acceptance of pills, and the explosion in dance music appreciation, the scene is getting more grey areas. But i agree with you. Music, people..then the drugs.

now i need to lighten up my post, because ive just re-read it, and i know how jaded and cynical im coming accross. i really dont think this posting will change the course of pills, its acceptance, nor the education about drugs in general. And they have offered me some of the most fantastic experiences of my life, and probably will in the future.

Papermate, I hear what you are saying.. I just had a nice 2 month break and had something a couple of weeks ago, and really I think I am over it. I really just want to be at the place to be and have a few drinks and have a good night. Ive realised that I no longer enjoy it as I used to and I think its time to close that chapter of my life. Im planning a new years eve being sober having a couple of drinks on New years day and just spending time with friends chatting about real stuff and not just cot shit.

The bad times have now outweighed the good so its time to take a seat on the sidelines. Ive got nothing against everyone else doing it but im done ive had my lot. Basically its being hopeless in my life for days to weeks after taking it. So yeah man new years day man ill buy you a couple of drinks.

im kind of feeling the same way lately.

i used to *love* taking pills going out on the weekends staying out all night.
I havent done it in so long before 2 weekends ago.

and to be honest it wasnt wat i was hoping for, i didnt really enjoy it as much as i used too and Im not really up for it any time again soon.

evryone is deciding what to do on NYE and I really dont want to do anything drug related I just want to go out somewhere nice for dinner and chill out, but I know that wont happen.

wh3rd up to the jaded.
the way i see it., the 'new' generation is exactly the same as the 'old' generation. pills have been mainstream in australian youth culture for ages.
there were people who were jaded when you were new, and you prolly thought they were assholes. but now the paradigm shifts and you've gained a new perspective.
so you have become the jaded.
and that's ok, many people get very jaded, and they usually have their own, decent reasons.
but don't blame the 'scene' that you were prolly very keen on not so long ago

^^^ that certainly does account for a large amount of this sentiment, but now -more than ever- pills are beginning to enter the mainstream culture, and i really don't think that can be denied.

they dont really seem to give or do what they used to for me any more either